Pansy activism

I assume most of you are aware of Chick-fil-A's CEO making his comments regarding the biblical definition of marriage, or at least his definition of scripture. It was misguided and showed how ignorant he is of the Old Testament, as well as the current prevailing wind of marriage equality that's sweeping the nation.

In the interest of disclosure, I'm all for marriage equality and have written and acted in support of it.

Many have expressed outrage about this, even though he never once mentioned homosexuals. His company has a policy of non-discrimination of employees that are gay, but his religious beliefs are unacceptable to a lot of us. Hell he has the same views on gay marriage as once did our president circa 2008. Therefore a boycott was called for his views, and many have pledge never to eat at Chick-fil-A.

The mayor of Boston has threatened to deny Chick-fil-A permits, only to pull a 180 on it when he probably realized denying a company a permit based on their religious views is probably against a little thing called the First Amendment. Talking heads are discussing the wisdom of the CEO's comments, and many are paying attention to the future of the company.

The boycott is as stupid as it is misguided. Boycotting a franchise will do little to hurt the pocketbook of Dan Cathy, unless they were calling stock brokers to stop trading in shares. And really, if the company went to hell he would still be richer than you'll ever be, and will laugh as he released Filipinos on his private island to partake in human hunting. It will only hurt the franchise owners, who already shelled their money to the Cathy family when they bought the restaurant, and the people they employ, the 99% if you will.

If you really wanted to take the moral high ground in activist consumerism, then you probably shouldn't buy gasoline, as some of the member countries that make up OPEC tend to look down upon homosexuality, even going so far as to believing they need to be put to death. Yeah, you need to buy a bicycle. You'll pad the wallets of Chinese manufacturers who run inhumane sweat shops to buy your neat little technological device that you're using to read this, or the clothes you're wearing, without giving two shits about the people making those products.

I know it's hard in a world with few moral absolutes to try and only give money to companies that are progressive and think exactly like you do about every issue, but to call out Chick-fil-A, when you willingly spend your money on things that contribute to people with far worse ideologies and practices is hypocritical at best.

If you don't enjoy Chick-fil-A sandwiches and still feel that not going there will make a difference, by all means don't go there, but don't profess your holier than thou boycott of tasty chicken as if you're some edgy, finger on the pulse of social politics. It makes you seem like as much of an idiot as Dan Cathy is.

“It’s clearly unconstitutional for the city to deny permits based on a person’s opinions. It opens the city up to criticism and even litigation.” - UCLA law professor Eugene Volok

Chick-fil-A beef puts mayor in pressure cooker

Mike Adams, the self proclaimed Health Ranger, is as insane as he is insensitive

In the wake of the Colorado shooting the news was inundated with all kinds of talking heads theorizing about why an insane man did an insane act, asking rational people to explain the irrational, and doing the impossible task of making sense of the senseless. I suppose it's only natural to want to want to have a clear explanation of why someone would commit such a horrific deed, but it can be frustrating to accept that mentally ill people do sick, twisted acts as a result of their brain chemistry.

Enter Mike Adams, owner of NaturalNews.com and self proclaimed Health Ranger. He's an advocate against modern medicine, calls anyone who vaccinates their children "fools", and a proponent of homeopathy and all sorts of quackery. He also loves a good conspiracy theory, and aligns himself with Alex Jones of Infowars.com, even going so far to guest host his show. On Naturalnews.com readers can be fed all sorts of medical misinformation while he promotes his books and he sells survival flashlights. It's a popular site amongst those who hate science and have a distrust of people more educated than themselves.

Mike Adams loves to exploit a tragedy to further his crusade against Big Pharma, the government, and any organization he feels is trampling his right to good health and freedom. So the shootings in Colorado happen and Mike wrote something that should be beneath even him, calling it a staged act by the government. Yes somehow Mike feels that since there's a UN vote on a small arms treaty, that the government hired a madman to shoot up a theatre to help other countries ban guns worldwide in an effort to bring about the New World Order or some bullshit. Yes, he's that despicable. In his own mildly literate words:

In other words, this has all the signs of Fast & Furious, Episode II. I wouldn't be surprised to discover someone in Washington was behind it all. After all, there's no quicker way to disarm a nation and take total control over the population than to stage violence, blame it on firearms, then call for leaders to "do something!" Such calls inevitably end up resulting in gun confiscation, and it's never too long after that before government genocide really kicks in like we saw with Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, Mao and other tyrants.

Oh and here's his so called evidence that the government was behind it all:

If you start to look at the really big picture here, the obvious question arises: How does an unemployed medical student afford all the complex weapons gear, bomb-making gear, "flammable" booby trap devices, ammunition, multiple magazines, bullet-proof vest, groin protection, ballistic helmet, SWAT uniform and all the rest of it?
The question is easily answered by anyone who has ever attended college, even for a quarter, in the fact that credit card companies target you more so than any other demographic. Since he believed he was going to die, it wasn't a real priority for him to pay back his debts. Also a lot of the material he had was hardly exotic, and readily available fairly cheap through many means.

So there's his evidence that he believes the shooting victims should accept, that not only was this the work of an insane man bent on mass slaying, but their government was behind the whole thing. Mike Adams would like to use this tragedy to boost his own nutty conspiracy, and bring further pain to everyone touched by the incident. Naturally he has no evidence that anyone from any government gave the weapons or armor to Jim Holmes, or had any communication with him at all, but evidence has never mattered to him, nor his fan base. So yeah, Mike Adams is a horrible human being for using this tragedy to further his agenda of fueling fear in the masses, all the while keeping people sick in the process.
"All this looks like James Holmes completed a "mission" and then calmly ended that mission by surrendering to police and admitting everything. The mission, as we are now learning, was to cause as much terror and mayhem as possible, then to have that multiplied by the national media at exactly the right time leading up the UN vote next week on a global small arms treaty that could result in gun confiscation across America." - Mike Adams

Cunning strategy

After a thorough whipping in 2008, Republicans, and their Tea Party brethren, decided a new strategy would be in place. Job creation and economic growth. The latter claimed they were about less taxes and smaller government, and few believed them. They were right as the Tea Party seems more interested in bigotry and having our public schools teach the Bible as a literal document. The Republicans held fast to their original plan, or so they keep telling us, but it comes to no shock that they have only one plan, making Obama look like a stooge, even if it carries a troublesome cost to the public.

So the GOP decided to hit Obama as to why their hasn't been as much job growth since the early days of the industrial revolution. The President decided to do what he pledged, end incentives for corporations to move jobs oversees and give them a good reason to say within our borders. The Bring Jobs Home Act would've given companies a 20% tax break to come back to the US, while it eliminated tax deductions for businesses who still insist on hiring needful doers.

So one would assume Senate Republicans would think this is a good idea as it might help people get jobs and stimulate our economy, but no, they do not like things such as Americans being employed. They voted to halt debate about the bill, killing it's chances of ever becoming law.

This is the modern state of the GOP, helping create overseas sweat shops since 1985. I mean seriously, if you needed any more proof of how the Republicans are deliberately trying to screw the middle class, well you're a lost cause and somehow devoid of reality. You may need therapy.

"In a letter to senators this week, the Chamber of Commerce called the bill "misguided" and said it "would hamper American worldwide companies' competitiveness, increase complexity in the Internal Revenue Code, and threaten economic growth."" - CNN

GOP senators block top Obama jobs initiative

Body issues

See this girl? For the unfamiliar this is famous model Kate Upton, who makes a living being hot. Currently the crush of my best friend and spank material for millions, she earns her keep showing off her body in skimpy clothing. While this is hardly the work of Susan B Anthony, it's an honest living and if I looked good I'd take up a similar career.

Anyways, I swear this post isn't an excuse to post pictures of her, but I will in the interest of this thesis, and for science!

Where was I?

Some blogger who goes by the name of Skinny Gurl (I'm not lying, this person really thought of that as a nickname, and no, no one gave it to her, her cleverness is just that limited) decided Kate Upton is fat and shouldn't be parading around in a bikini, because it doesn't fit her standards of beauty. In an awesome display of her families' DNA being completley devoid of any creative gene, the title of the post is "Kate Upton is Well Marbled". So yeah, this girl goes on to post pics of Kate, then call her a piggie, cow, and claim she's 30 lbs to heavy to wear a bikini.

I can imagine all my male readers now, throwing up their lunch in disgust at the thought of ever having physical contact with this woman.

Now it would be ridiculous of me to white knight Ms Upton, as I don't know her nor care about whatever in the hell happens to her. She puts on a bikini and parades her body around, so she should have a thick skin regarding criticism, but the body issue amongst females is one of the most baffling mysteries of the fairer sex. Now that I have a daughter I almost feel compelled to at least try and understand why the hell some of the most beautiful women take their critics so damn seriously, with devastating if not fatal results.

And really, anyone, such as the insipid Skinny Gurl, who writes "Sorry, but: eww!" ever deserves scorn, regardless of what they're writing about. Hell they could say the remake of Conan the Barbarian was a horrible idea and their whole thesis would be shot to hell, because of those three words.

I have an almost irrational fear that my daughter will grow to hate her looks, but while most girls I've encountered do to some degree, many take drastic and often unhealthy action to garner a body that they think others will find appealing. I want what most parents want, a child who'll grow to be healthy and happy, but of course, they live in a world where industries are built to tell you how miserable they'll be without a certain product or service, and in many cases, what they think is a well trimmed body.

It bothers me that their are sites out there now dedicated to being pro-anorexia, telling women how to starve themselves. While I can't control this, I mean this is the fucking internet, I can certainly write about my disdain for it, which is equivalent to raising my fist in the air and yelling at people who could care less. I guess I expect more from a female who should be more sensitive to womens' body issues, but oh well. Skinny Gurl, who probably emits an odor of sadness and Chili Cheese Fritos, may have mistaken her mildly literate rant for edgy pop-culture musing along the works of Micheal Musto, but really she's the Garfield of blogging, safe as it is stupid. A lot of words with nothing to say, but to put down another human being for not having the genetics others want to see in her. As my wife once told me, the biggest critic of another female's looks is not a male.

Eating disorders are deadly and anyone who promotes the idea that a healthy look has no place in fashion, or pop-culture as a whole, can eat a bag of dicks, Skinny Gurl included.

And really girls, we men find you beautiful. Yes even you who stand in front of a mirror grabbing at your love handles while knocking back a bottle of wine wondering why it is you didn't hit the genetic lottery, there's some guy out there ready to have his unclothed body dragged across a mile of broken glass just to see you naked in person. Yes I'm serious.
Well unless you write the words "Sorry; but eww", then you're a fat ugly whore who deserves of life of being shamed into working the lunch shift at a strip club in Oklahoma City while grinding the stumps of hairy men who smell like your father.

"The perception of beauty is a moral test." - Henry David Thoreau

Incompetence

Being a father and doing what's expected of you has changed over the years, but according to Huggies, women are the only ones qualified to care for a baby and the only tasks men can do well are killing wildlife and masturbating to Asian porn. Take their new ad campaign, which asks people to nominate a father to try out their new products, diapers and wipes. According to the company, their new line can handle anything, even an idiot such as a male.

I'll admit in my household the wife does most of the work when it comes to caring for Kenadie. She does the bathing and most of the feedings, but I do my part to assist in any way I can and have done my share of changing diapers, preparing and feeding bottles, and rocking her to sleep at some unholy hour. If, God forbid, something happened to my wife I'm confident that the fact that I have a penis won't infringe on my ability to care for her just as well.

So given this, does Huggies think gay men couples have difficulty caring for an infant? Are we men to be looked upon as morons that we need things idiot proofed? I mean imagine the shit storm if Microsoft released a video game that even a woman can play. Or if Chrysler unveiled a new line of cars that are so safe even a female can drive it.

So yeah, fuck you Huggies. No seriously fuck you. You've given me another reason not to buy your products.

"We're looking for great Dads to put our diapers and wipes to the test. Whether he's a seasoned diaper duty pro, or still learning on the job, now's his chance to prove that Huggies can handle anything." - Huggies

Huggies To Dads: You Suck At Child Care

Memories

Yesterday my mother in-law gave me the gift that keeps on giving, an Atari 2600. Yes the gaming console that started it all is now in my possession. With it came a bunch of games that varied in quality. The wife and I decided to plug it in last night and reminisce about the joys it brought to our childhood.

I never technically owned an Atari as I had a Coleco Vision which had an expansion module that let you play Atari 2600 games. Since Atari games were much cheaper than their Coleco competitor, my parents bought me the inexpensive ones.

I first put in Pitfall, one of the games to end all on that console. Yes the seemingly never ending game of a jungle adventurer who lept on the eyes of crocodiles and jumped over cobras, barrels, and disappearing ponds was filled with much amusement as the first side scroller. I played it for a few minutes, but I found my skills lacked as Pitfall Harry kept dying.

Next up was Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, a game I played the crap out of thinking their would be some kind of cool ending should I keep back all the AT-ATs, but I was but a child, and should've known that the Empire would win that battle no matter what. Still I spent hours trying. It's a fun little game where you mount a snow speeder and shoot the Imperial Walkers over and over again until they explode. Last night though, I only defeated one AT-AT, and then the rebellion was over run.

In what I felt was quite a surprise, I found a M*A*S*H video game. Yes based on the anti-war film and series, the producers must've sold the license for whatever reason. In it you pilot a helicopter and rescue little men who are as tall as trees and try and escort them safely back to a M*A*S*H unit, all the while avoiding tank fire from your North Korean enemies. It was actually kind of fun.

I tried other games, such as Outlaw and one of my all time favorites, Combat, and most were fun if only for a few minutes, but I saw one title that gave me pause, E.T. Yes the much hyped game that is considered largely responsible for the death of the console is now in my possession. I took a look at the cartridge and remembered the hours of frustration I had trying to figure out whatever in the hell I was supposed to do in the game, and quite wisely decided against reliving that nightmare.

Nostalgia was short lived, but for a few moments I felt the excitement I did as a wee lad, when video game consoles were new and exciting, and the games were really friggin hard.

"People worry I might be sensitive about the ET debacle, but the fact is I’m always happy to discuss it. After all, it was the fastest game ever done, it was a million seller, and of the thousands of 2600 games, how many others are still a topic? Another thing I like to think about is having done ET (consistently rated among the worst games of all time) and Yars' Revenge (consistently rated as one of the best) I figure I have the unique distinction of having the greatest range of any game designer in history." - Howard Scott Warshaw

Think different

My wife's office is strictly a Mac house. She just got a brand new Powerbook and I have to say, it is a nice computer, if you can afford one, or if your job is willing to expense one for you. I find it odd that they're willing to fork over that kind of dough for products that can't be simply upgraded later, but they don't ask me. As this may surprise some considering where I work, I do like some Mac products, but I'm really not their target audience as I'm not a douchebag nor do I wear horn rimmed glasses and masturbate to Morrisey. Oh and I also know how to operate a computer.

The wife was in the market for a laptop bag and looked online for some. Apple actually made a few she liked so she decided she should go to the Apple store and finally experience what all the kids are talking about.

We walked into the mall and I suddenly realized I was wearing a Windows 7 t-shirt. Oh well.

The wife and I entered the Apple store and it was just as I remembered it. Lots of employees engaging with customers, and a Genius Bar, which I guess the name is supposed to make people who have an issue with their product feel bad about their intellect. There were products and douchebags with more money than sense abound, but no sales register, because Apple's all fancy and will make your shopping experience suck if you use such primitive technology as cash.

We were escorted to the very back of the store to find a small selection of laptop bags. Not a single one had a shoulder strap as the wife wanted, and all were more expensive than the one she found online. We browsed for a minute, and told the sales lady we'd order it online.

"Not so fast", thought the salesperson. She offered to look in the back for us to see if there are any that would suit our needs. Yeah, I've worked retail, when a product is not on the floor there's maybe a .015% chance it's in the back, because retailers do like selling merchandise and get it on the sales floor as quickly as humanly possible.

After a short wait we decided this was a complete waste of time, and started to leave, but the salesperson came out of the back to tell us what we already knew. So we didn't find what we needed, and were none the richer for the experience, kind of like using an Apple product.

“Mac users swear by their computers. PC users swear at their computers.” - Unknown

You'll get over it

Well folks, I hope you enjoyed your freedom, because the socialist, Jesus hating Kenyan President of ours has warped the minds of the Supreme Court of the United States, using mind control experiments with fluoridated water no doubt, and had them agree to make Obamacare deemed constitutional. Yes the entire text of the Patient Protection and Affordable Health Care Act is now law, every single last rat bastard point! So now you'll have to appear in front of a death panel and prove you're an American worthy of life by having a tattoo of the Star and Stripes on your genitals.

Yes all the conservatives getting sand in their vaginas over today's recent Supreme Court ruling is comical, if not sad. Well it's both. As Obi-Wan would say, let the butthurt flow through you. I'm so sorry that the champions of liberty that is the health care insurance industry didn't get their way, because they were so kind to the consumers all these years, putting their customer’s health care needs above all.

Yes, bitch and moan all you want and spread misinformation as you feel you must, but you lost. The working poor has had enough and the people, of which Congress is a representative of (sorry, some needed to be reminded of this), felt strongly that because you don't have a great career doesn't entitle you to lower quality care. We're America, the most prosperous nation in the world, and if Cuba can give their citizens better health care than we can, which they do, we should do everything in our power to make a better system, and hang our heads in shame as we do so.

And to all who say this is a program to enhance the lazy, I can guarantee most folks who are under-uninsured works harder than you. If you're reading this during business hours you're not exactly breaking your back to put a meal on the table.

"I don't know. I'll just tell you this, if this passes and it's five years from now and all that stuff gets implemented -- I am leaving the country. I'll go to Costa Rica." - Rush Limbaugh

Screw you skinny!

Canada sometimes surprises me. A country known the world over for being polite, inclusive, and generally not as cantankerous as their neighbors to the south, Canada has a lot of qualities one could hope for in a state its size, but yet there are stories that would make you swear it could only happen in Florida.

Take Vancouver for example, a beautiful, clean city that's safe and has a lot of things to do. Rarely does it make international news, but now it has a gym that's made headlines, for keeping out skinny people. To be fair, there's also one in Nebraska that's owned by former "The Biggest Loser" contestants.

Accordingly heavier people feel shamed when going into a gym with a bunch of members that are in shape, so they want a better camaraderie and exercise with those who have the same body type. I've heard of fat people being ridiculed or put down because of their weight at a gym, but I've never witnessed it, or have I been subject to it thankfully. Still I'm sure it happens and I guess these kinds of gyms would be popular to those who aren't used to working out regularly.

You know what? I really don't care that they discriminate. Yes it's weird and if a gym only sold memberships to skinny people there would be outrage, and rightfully so. So yeah, it's a total double standard, but one that's encouraging people to get in shape. I really can't be against that.

Still there are some questions to ponder about the wisdom of this:

1.      What happens if a member loses the weight and become skinny? Will they have their membership revoked?

2.      Isn't working out around people who know what they're doing a good thing?

3.      Does having skinny people around amount to good motivation to do a few extra sets?

4.      Should this be legal even if it's harmless, sort of like ladies never paying a cover charge?

5.      Is this really necessary? I mean is there that much taunting at the gym?

Perhaps none of this will ever be answered, even if this business model works, which I hope it does.

“My whole life, I have always wished there was a place for other big people. So I created one.” - Marty Wolff

Wiwille gives generously

Friends of my wife and I bought us, and a few other friends, tickets to attend a fundraiser for a large charity. I really didn't know what to expect as any charity event I've been to was held at a local auction hall or school gymnasium, but this was supposed to be quite the ball, and a gala it was. It was held not too far from downtown Dallas and was located in a area I imagine was normally reserved for small club shows, but that night there was a band playing a mix of whatever the hell they wanted. The joint threw up a Mardi Gras theme and we were given beads, but it seems no one was interested in seeing my moobs.

This was the turf of folks who are well acquainted in the art of making money. We're talking entrenpenuers who made their fortune in ridiculous service fees, athletes, and what I imagine are a lot of trust fund kids. Money flowed abound, and we were served a decedent meal that most of the world's population will never have the experience of eating anything like it.

We were assigned a table, based on the amount of the ticket we purchased. We were sectioned off from the higher money tables. Speeches were given about how important the charity was and the open bar ensured we all found them entertaining. The band played for a bit while we all ate, and four women decided to get up on stage with them and dance. As expected, there was one huge girl wearing a skirt so short that her moves made sure we saw her funny business. I paid it little mind as this may be the only time she could dance on an elevated platform without being booed off, or be forcibly removed by a bouncer.

The auction took place and various items were being bid for. The lead auctioneer announced that she wanted to raise $50k in five minutes, which was successful. It kind of amazed me that people who seemed so willing to give to charity seemed also to have to be wined and dined in opulence to let out their generous side.

I felt almost a pinch of lower middle class guilt, where I couldn't fathom dropping thousands into a charity. I actually wished I made more if only I could give more back to the society that allowed me my comfortable life.

It would've been easy to make fun of the crowd, but really I have to remind myself that the rest of the world looks at my lifestyle as luxurious and can't imagine my family ever wanting for anything. If I had been born in most other areas of the planet Earth I'd just salivate with envy. Besides, a charity was benefiting from the botox Republicans, and I can't find anything wrong with that.

"A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog." - Jack London

Individually they're the same, collectivley they're different

So folks keep asking me what's so different about Dallas than Seattle. Well as to be expected there are many, but I'll list a few that I've observed:

The people:
Dallas: The folks are very friendly, open, and engaging, except when they step in their cars. Then they're a bunch of assholes.
Seattle: People are usually standoffish, can be rude, but when they're behind the wheel of a car they're normally polite.

Traffic:
Dallas: People drive as if terrorists are chasing them, except when it rains. Then they decided that 20 mph is too fast. The drivers are impolite, and think allowing someone to merge is akin to letting them sleep with their spouse.
Seattle: People find it a mortal sin to do the speed limit, and feel obligated to go at least 10 mph under said speed limit no matter the weather or the amount of cars on the road.

Sports:
Dallas: Natives enjoy a variety of sports ranging from golf to MMA. Usually the fans are well versed in the sports they watch.
Seattle: You'll be hard pressed to find a Seahawk fan that can explain the difference between a 3-4 defense and a 4-3 defense. Oh and the city thinks because it's in love with soccer, so is the rest of the country. Also, the city is upset about losing a NBA team they never really liked in the first place.

Food:
Dallas: Dallas offers some of the finest steaks, hamburgers, and Mexican food I've ever had, and that's of little surprise. Lacking is their Asian cuisine and seafood, for obvious reasons.
Seattle: Outside of southeast Asia you'll be hard pressed to find better Asian food. The seafood is amazing and you'll find a Thai and/or Pho restaurant on every block.

Weather:
Dallas: It's normally either really friggin hot, or really cold. There's one month of spring and one month of fall.
Seattle: It drizzles all the damn time.

Scenery:
Dallas: It's about as lovely as a Mad Max film.
Seattle: It has natural splendor that few can match.

Facebook posters:
Dallas: People find nothing wrong with posting all sorts of conservative biased links on FB, but find those who post liberal biased information as pretentious.
Seattle: People find nothing wrong with posting all sorts of liberal biased links on FB, but find those who post conservative biased information as pretentious.

Politics:
Dallas: Assumes everyone they meet are conservatives.
Seattle: Assumes everyone they meet are liberals.

Money:
Seattle: People save up money for years to spend a ridiculous amount on a small home.
Dallas: People save up money for years to spend a ridiculous amount on plastic surgery.

Soda:
Seattle: When people ask for a soda, they use it's proper name.
Dallas: Every soda, up to and including Tab, is referred to as a coke.

It's time to create

After a few weeks of careful thought and soul searching, I figured it's time to be a photographer again. There was no real stunning revelation, or moment of clarity, it was just something I've missed doing. My friend has gotten a bit of the shutterbug, who has shown some talent, and has been trying to pass on the virus to me in order to do some weddings and what not. It worked.

I've caught the bug again and it's been on my brain for some time now. The medium has made numerous changes since my day of actually using film. I spent many an hour just masking negatives, calculating the cost per negative, and negotiating prices with labs. Now I can take as many shots as I want and all it will cost me is time.

While I enjoy my job I will only take this venture as a weekend warrior. I don't miss running a studio, spending long hours, and eating dinner at 9pm. Having a family factors into that decision highly, and there's a reason that many in the business are divorced.

I'm actually excited about this and do hope this will work out beneficially for all involved.

"Millions of men have lived to fight, build palaces and boundaries, shape destinies and societies; but the compelling force of all times has been the force of originality and creation profoundly affecting the roots of human spirit." - Ansel Adams

You should read Country Mouse in the City for exciting prizes

Claire, of the Country Mouse in the City, posted a contest where the contestant was required to plug the blog in any online arena they take part it, whether it be Facebook, Twitter, Blogger, hell even Myspace. The prize was a couple of books selected from a list she has. I did so, thinking I never win these things, but it was worth a shot.

Amazingly my wife enters the house saying we got a package. She opened it and proclaimed there was a book on Africa. Ye Gods I'm a big winner! I received the books; The Fate of Africa and Nothing to Envy. The latter is something I'm having difficulty putting down, as it's a fascinating look at the ordinary lives of people living inside the hermit kingdom of the Democratic Peoples' Republic of Korea, or North Korea as known by most.

See, everyone's a big winner when you read blogs!

"I love to read....and what better way to share that love than by hosting a BOOK giveaway?" - Claire

Wiwille's movie reviews part 90

Since the movie I'm about to review is mainly about role playing games (RPG), namely the biggest in the field, Dungeons & Dragons, in the interest of full disclosure let me tell you about my one and only experience with D&D.

I was in high school and had a science class with a Game Master, someone who leads the game mechanics and play. He had some D&D books out and I asked about them. After some small talk about the game he invited me to his house to play that weekend.

I attended and actually found myself enjoying the fantasy world of Dungeons & Dragons. My only prior knowledge of the game was largely due to my church, which warned parents that their children would become homosexual Satan worshippers if they involved themselves in the role play. I was also a huge fan of the short lived cartoon, but I hated the fact that they made the character Eric a candy ass. Still I caught on quickly and enjoyed the math behind the game and the creativity of the character building. It was really fun.

After we were done playing the Game Master asked if he could borrow my science book as he lost his and we had a test the next week. I offered it to him, as it was in my backpack, and made him promise to return it by Monday.

Monday rolls around and I see him in class. I ask him for the book, to which he said he didn't have and wouldn't be returning soon as he's not done with it. I told him I could care less if he was done with it or not that he was to return it the next day. He didn't like the fact that I was giving him orders.

GM: I'll give it to you when I'm done.
Me: You'll give it to me when I say you will.
GM: Fuck you.
Me: No no no no no. It is you who will be fucked if you don't return it tomorrow.
GM: You threatening me?
Me: I'm promising you.

He stood up and knocked over his desk. I did the same. The teacher ran out of the room to get help.
Quiz time folks. If you're me in this situation do you a) try and calm him down and reason with him, b) try to resolve the situation peacefully by offering to study together, or c) kick the ever loving crap out of the jackass? If you answered a or b you certainly are a better person than I.

We stared each other down for a few seconds and he gave me a threat I'll never forget as long as I live.

GM: I PUT A LEVEL FIVE HEX ON YOU!
Me: ......what? A level five....what?

He shoved me. The rest of the incident happened as you'd expect.
My coach ran into the place and pulled me off of him. I don't remember saying this, but it was told to me later that I yelled something about how his level five hex is pussy shit. He was taken to the nurses office for various wounds to the face. I was put in in-school suspension for a week.

I was never invited to play D&D again.

I relayed this incident to someone and their response was "that is exactly what I would expect to happen to you. This is so you." Yeah, it's true, for some reason my good intentions at social interaction do go awry, and this case was no different. Still I feel like I've missed the party, as many of my friends over the years have enjoyed D&D, granted to the demise of their wallets, but still role playing games may be a lot of things, but dull they never seemed.

Today I watched The Gamers: Dorkness Rising and am not sure exactly what the hell happened on the screen. Let me try to describe it for you. A group of RPGers get together with their game master to play D&D in a medieval setting. (Is "RPGers" even a word? Oh hell it is now.) One of the guys, who looks like a poor man's Vanilla Ice, invites his ex-girlfriend to play, who's new to gaming, and they start off on an adventurous quest to get some mask that has evil powers and destroy it. The gamers choose their characters and a bunch of geek humor ensues.

The movie cuts back and forth between the gamers bickering in a room about the rules to their fantasy avatars doing what they tell them to do. The movie is impressive if only for the fact that it makes the most out of what it can on such a slim budget. The acting is not that painful, the special effects are about what you'd expect, and the writing is not horrific. Still, I feel like I've missed the party with this movie as for the most part I didn't get any of the humor. What transpired on the screen could've been hilarious, but I would have no idea. There's not much of a story here, so its greatest strength, or weakness, is the attempt at comedy, which again may or may not be funny. Granted there was one occasion where I laughed, when a girl walked into a gaming store and all the RPGers freaked the hell out when estrogen was in their presence. Ok it had a few more moments of genuine laughter, but it was few and far between, for me at least.

It's hard to recommend this film given my complete lack of knowledge in this arena, but RPGers may enjoy it, or anyone who appreciates geek humor might as well. I'll give the film this, it's ambitious as well as it is kind to the subjects. It doesn't fall prey to harsh stereotypes of nerds, which is refreshing. Setting aside some of the moments that'll make you shake your head, you may appreciate the fact that films like this exist, and maybe this is the portrayal dorks have been asking for.

Thanks to Karin for submitting this. Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see it soon on One Bad Apple. Rules are posted here.

"A low budget film that makes fun of gamers but in a fun way that had me laughing at times, cringing at others." - John Manard

We're holding out for a hero

MSNBC commentator Chris Haynes sounded off this weekend about how he feels about using the word 'hero' for each and every fallen US soldier. He said:

"It is very difficult to talk about the war dead and the fallen without invoking valor, without invoking the word hero. Why do I feel so uncomfortable about the word hero? I feel uncomfortable with the word hero because it seems to me that it is so rhetorically proximate to justifications for more war. And I obviously don't want to desecrate or disrespect the memory of anyone that has fallen. Obviously there are individual circumstances in which there is tremendous heroism. You know, hail of gunfire, rescuing fellow soldiers, things like that. But it seems to me that we marshal this word in a way that's problematic, but maybe I'm wrong about that."

As expected the backlash was swift and harsh. Many from the right accused Haynes of disrespecting the armed forces and those who lost their lives in service. Some even went further and questioned his patriotism, passing him off as a typical liberal who has weekly dinners with Mexican gay abortion doctors who eat marijuana brownies while watching PBS.

And as expected the backlash was unfair as well as typical. Nothing of what Haynes said was wrong, and is something I'm sure many have given serious thought to when they've heard the word 'hero' be passed around more times than a big busted stripper in a party of Japanese businessmen. The fact of the matter is when everyones' a hero, no one is. Heroes are few in a world where courage and cowardice are fickle and often traits everyone displays at some point. Yesterday's coward is often today's hero and vice versa.

The term 'hero' is one to be used sparingly. As most people who commit acts of extreme bravery, they'll be the first to tell you their not heroes, just ordinary people who reacted to an extraordinary situation. Heroes mostly exist in fiction; comic books, films, folklore, etc. Our country has had it's share of heroes, and will continue to do so, but not everyone who lost their life in war should be called one just for taking a bullet.

We've seen how the word hero can be used for propaganda purposes. It was apparent when General Lee first took the reigns of the Army of Northern Virginia, the Kaiser made good use of it when he had that great flying ace run the skies red with blood, and the US used the idea of hero worship to garner support for wars that were, and are, less than sound decisions by our policy makers. Pat Tillman ring a bell?

Do the honored dead of war deserve our respect and thanks for their service? Most certainly. Do they all deserve the same status afforded people like Audy Murphy? No. Should we idly sit by and let our authorities use the memory of our fallen soldiers as a battle cry for young people to sign up for the armed forces? Certainly not. Do I love America less than someone that believes all slain soldiers deserve the nation's highest military honor? Of course not. I would like to think that all those laid to rest in our national cemeteries died in a fashion worthy of a Homer poem, but reality says otherwise.

"He (Chris Haynes) thinks our soldiers are suckers and fools at best, brutal sociopaths at worst. At a minimum, he feels that honoring those who died for this country might encourage people to see that actually defending our country is a good thing. He's not quite ready to make that leap; after all, most progressives are ambivalent about this whole "America" concept, if not actively opposed to it." - Kurt Schlichter

Are fallen soldiers 'heroes?' MSNBC host wondered, now apologizes

Memorial Day

Americans remember and give thanks to fallen soldiers in many number of ways, if at all, on this day, and many choose a war to recall as their focus. Many think of those who lost their lives in our current struggles in Asia, or many others recall the soldiers who paid the ultimate price for their service in WWII. Some tend to recall all the wars, from the Revolution to Iraq part 2: Electric Boogaloo, but there is really no wrong way to respectfully memorialize the honored dead.

Cable stations are playing numerous films designed to honor soldiers or accurately dramatize a period in history of where men and women fought a foreign enemy. There are many good ones for sure, but my favorite film for this holiday is "Gettysburg".

This may come as no shock to you, as I'm a little bit of a Civil War buff, but outside of Ken Burn's Civil War documentary series, and maybe "Glory", there hasn't been any better film about the conflict. Wonderfully acted, especially the amazing performance by Jeff Daniels, it really gives an authentic look to the bloodiest battle on American soil. Tense and accurate in it's portrayal, it is a real treat for those who give any amount of study to the war, and it may teach as well as entertain those who haven't.

"Gettysburg succeeds as a motion picture event, and as a re-creation of a pivotal chapter of American history." - Daniel M Kimmel

Set your DVRs to kill

Reality television is an easy target as most of it is boneheaded nonsense that feeds America's inane obsession with attention whoring. It's come a long way from the days of "The Real World" to the infamous "Jersey Shore". Still it's easy to make fun of as it steeps low into the vacuous suckage scale of stupidity. Every year though, when you think it can't out dumb itself, it happens, and today that very thing just happened.

Abstinence poster child Bristol Palin has sent a press release about her new reality series on Lifetime, which displays her trials and tribulations of growing as a person while being a single mother, as is her birthright. Oh and it's called Bristol Palin: Life's a Tripp, because get it? Her son's name is Tripp, and life is like ingesting a bunch of hallucinogens and believing you're God. This of course constituted a press release, because everyone is wildly anticipating this, as is evident because this landed on the Lifetime network, the channel that no one can stop watching.

Just when you thought you've heard the last of the Palins, but like a case of herpes they spread in the most unlikely of time and places. It's time for America to say no more to Adam Sandler comedies and the Palins. We've had enough and we don't need, nor want, anymore.

"But I’m not a pundit. I’m just a mom made famous in one of the most intense and embarrassing ways possible – by having your teen pregnancy announced in the middle of a presidential campaign. Oh, and I was a finalist on Dancing with the Stars, one of the most-watched shows on TV. But all that means I’m more a part of pop culture, the culture that creates the television we watch and the music we listen to. When real pundits write blog posts, they don’t pop up in Us Weekly… but mine do." - Bristol Palin

Can't get enough

My father has had hearing loss for many years, and it's gotten to the point that he can't watch television without subtitles. It's annoying to repeat everything a waiter or someone else says repeatedly as he refuses to get a hearing aid. Still moments of comedy does ensue because of it. I pretty much get to say whatever I want and my dad will only respond with "huh?"

One day on the television the song "Land of a Thousand Dances" came on, and the lyric "do the mashed potato" came on, and dad came rushing into the room screaming "Who the hell is singing a song about masturbation?"

One day when I was a kid watching Saturday Morning Cartoons the inevitable cereal commercial came on, the first of which was a bear advertising the goodness of Super Golden Crisp. He sang his usual jingle, "I can't get enough of Super Golden Crisp, its got the crunch with punch."


Dad came running into the living room demanding what it was the bear was singing about. I repeated the lyrics, and then inquired as to what it was he thought he heard. He wouldn't say and until this day I have no earthly idea, but today I shall speculate. Here's what I thought he heard:

• I can't get enough of those sugar tits, its got the crunch with punch.
• I can't get enough of your big fat tits, its got the  crunch with punch.
• I can't get enough of your perky tits, its got the crunch with punch.
• I can't get enough of Super Golden Crisp, it's got the cock with punch.
• I can't get enough of your fatty prick, it's got the crunch with punch.
• Some variation of the above.

I kind of hope he never gets a hearing aid.

"It's not really that I've been an advocate for hearing aids for a long time, it's just that I've been losing my hearing for a long time! So it's actually very important for me because I'm actually hearing impaired and I simply want to hear better!" - Leslie Nielsen

Sue

As many of you probably understand, I have no love for Walmart. I just don't really enjoy the shopping experience it provides. That being said I don't really hate them, as they're a business like many others that just happen to be better at retailing than most. You can say their business practices are shady, but you can probably say that about most hyper competitive chains in any field of service. And yet, I do shop at Target, so directing my ire towards Walmart would seem unfair, and a bit hypocritical.

While I don't normally hate on ordinary people who have little to no political power, I found someone today that can kiss my country ass. Donnell Battie is a pig fucker of the highest order and I'll tell you why. He was in a Walmart two years ago when some prankster picked up a store phone and got on the intercom and stated "Attention Wal-Mart Customers: All Black People Leave the Store Now." Now this kid was arrested for this, which is weird considering I didn't know you could go to jail for simply being a jerk, but hey I'm no Judge Judy.

Back to the asshat that is Donnell.

Donnell, who is such a pansy he should be required to go by the name Donnie, Donnette, or simply Douche, was left traumatized by the incident, and experienced massive amounts of pain and suffering due to the kid's actions. So logic would dictate that he speaks to the child's parents about the incident and maybe both can learn some valuable life lessons. It could be a movie of the week about pain, racism, and forgiveness.

But no, not for Douche. Donnie got some sand in his vagina and has decided to sue not the boy's family, but Walmart, because since the retail giant clearly didn't have an armed ninja staking out all their phones to ensure some bored kid wouldn't pull a prank shows a reckless disregard of the emotional trauma of the pansy community. It was like they were begging a racist kid to broadcast the constitution of the Aryan Nation to the helpless masses who can't handle the fact that assholes exist.

So Walmart will probably settle, and Dandy will get some cash, a miserable excuse for an attorney will get richer, and customers will end up paying for it. The lesson learned here kids is that lying brings you endless amounts of rewards and there's no consequence for abusing the system. You, you good children you, are entitled to a life free of jerks, and if someone offends your delicate constitution it's not right to blame the jerk, but someone with a lot of money who had little, if nothing, to do with the jerk's actions. There's no reason to forgive and forget, nor should you make amends with your attacker or victim. You gots to get paid after all.

So yeah, fuck you Donnell Battie. You stand for everything I hate, and it is you that's what's wrong with the world.

"Battie claims he has needed medical care due to the March 2010 comment. He says it caused him "severe and disabling emotional and psychological harm."" - AP

NJ man sues Wal-Mart for $1M over racist remark

Party of small government in action

As I'm sure you're all aware, the state of North Carolina has voted to ban gay marriage, which should come as no shock to anyone. Still people for gay marriage are acting like they didn't see this coming, which is bizarre. I mean a southern state passing legislation that restricts minority rights? When has this ever happened before and why would they start now? What's really odd about this is that gay marriage was already not allowed in the state, so why voters would deem this necessary is a mystery. The real damage inflicted is that this would outlaw all civil unions, gay or straight. This means many would lose access to health care, hospital visits, tax credits, and various other benefits married people are entitled to. It's redundant at best, stupid at worst.

So really the gay marriage ban is just enforcing the status quo, and diverting attention from the 9%+ unemployment, poor education, and dwindling infrastructure, which were all caused by people having butt sex. Conservatives hail this as a victory in protecting marriage, which didn't need any protecting, especially from the big bad government the GOP tells us to loathe. It's odd that the Tea Party and their ilk hate liberty and the minority groups in NC voted to in legislation to oppress minorities.

Stupid.

"My home State of North Carolina ranks 12th in the United States for increased aging population and, according to a national report, 41st in overall health. According to this same report, individuals aged 50+ are the least healthy." - Howard Coble