Sep 13, 2006

Bad movies I love part 13.

Thanks to all who commented on my last post. The past 48 hours have been a roller coaster of emotions concerning the loss of my pal, but reading your kind words have been extremely helpful.

With a service for Kevin coming up I'm taking some time to leave town and attend the event as well as catch up with some mutual friends that I've lost touch with. It's times like these where you realize how time is critical and I need to get some face time with people.

Consequently I won't be posting for a few days; however to tie you over I leave you dear readers with another bad movie that I love.

I was 16 and just started dating my high school sweetheart. She recommended we go see 'Career Opportunities' to which I thought was a terrible idea, but it was early in the relationship and I did not protest. Plus she was really hot. I mean so hot that she shouldn't have been dating a guy who looks like me in the first place. She was young and thankfully didn't know any better.

I remember walking into the theatre and seeing a standee for the film. On it showed Jennifer Connelly sitting atop a moving rocking horse wearing tight black pants and a wife beater. I thought to myself that this could be something I would enjoy.

I underestimated how much I would find this a guilty pleasure. The movie stars Frank Whaley as a self obsessed slacker who lands a job as a graveyard janitor for a local Target. His boss locks him in the store to perform his duties. Later on in the night he comes across Jennifer Connelly who plays a spoiled rich girl trying to shoplift from the department store. Apparently she hid out in the dressing room long enough to be stuck with Frank for the night.

Frank and Jennifer were once high school classmates. One being the nerd the other being the princess. Upon there adventures in consumer land the unlikely pair find themselves drawn to each other. Of course they come across bumbling burglars and hijinks ensue.

I really enjoyed this film. For a John Hughes penned movie the dialogue fealt real enough as well as the chemistry between the two leads. Every young male teen had that seemingly unobtainable crush and this film pulled at our heartstrings and made us root for Whaley.

Then of course there's Jennifer Connelly. When the two decided to roller skate around Target with her sporting that white tank top I instantly made a declaration, albeit silently considering my girlfriend was sitting next to me. The adolescent fantasy torch had firmly been passed from Natalie Wood to Grace Kelly to Alyssa Milano and now unto the wondrous Jennifer Connelly. From then on I worshiped at the altar of Jennifer. That is until she lost all that weight.

My girlfriend and I left the theatre and for a while neither of us asked what each other thought. I think she was afraid to hear my answer. Finally I asked her how she liked the film.

"I couldn't believe it," she said. "She just ran around showing off her boobs."

"Yeah," I replied. "She certainly di...I mean that's terrible."

I was on the receiving end of a quick jab to the arm. I don't think I even got a kiss goodnight that evening, but watching that film was all worth it.

"Paper-thin premise entertains thanks to a game Whaley and a luminous Connelly." - Scott Weinberg


Scott said...

I share this guilty pleasure. A movie set in Target... brilliant.


rawbean said...

That movie is a classic early 90's flick. It's nothing deep my any means, but definitely entertaining. I wonder what happened to Frank Whaley...oh according to imdb he's still going strong.