Jan 18, 2007

The nip of a winter's morn.

Unless you're living in the desert or somewhere tropical you've probably noticed it is freakin cold outside. When stepping out into a cold morning many thoughts come to someone's mind such as driving conditions, proper attire, etc. The first thing that enters my brain when experiencing a winter's chill is porn and an ugly truck.

Let me explain.

Years ago my friend Trystan was leaving town for about a year and him and I were sitting around our place discussing things to do on his last night there. Quoc showed up and said we should pull a prank on a business.

We brainstormed and Trystan came up with a plan that was so brilliant Quoc and I sat there in silence for a few moments. Awestruck by the genius that was just displayed we agreed that Trystan's idea must come to fruition and that nothing would stop us in our quest.

This night was the coldest the town ever experienced on record, but we were undaunted by the chilly weather. First on the supply list was water. We filled three gallon jugs with H2O and made our way to the local adult book store.

In the book store we found tons of back issues of Playboy and Penthouse for about ten cents an issue. We purchased a few and made our way to a destination.

We actually didn't agree on what target we were going to hit before we left the house, but Trystan brought up that Andrew's truck would be the perfect blunt of this prank. To give you a little background Andrew had this old early 70s full size white GMC truck. It was beat to all hell with multiple dents, no door locks, and a shifter that worked sporadically. It's been the butt of other pranks, but this time Quoc and I agreed would be the ideal vehicle we had in mind for our childish stunt.

Andrew parked his truck on the busiest street in the city. We pull up in the middle of the night and run to it with jugs of water and porn. I ripped out a naked lady picture, placed it on the truck, and poured water on it. Instantly the water froze cementing the nude photo on the vehicle.

Oh my God it worked. I looked at Trystan and Quoc who gave an affirming smile and nod. They quickly got to work.

We covered the truck in porn. It got so bad we were running out of places to put more naked ladies on the GMC. The cold really started getting to us so we finally stopped and threw the unused magazines in his truck, cause after all since he's been the butt of our prank we thought he could use a consolidation prize.

We piled into Quoc's car and sat in total silence for a few minutes. Laughter than ensued.

Trystan: I so wish I could see the look on his face when he sees it in the morning.

Me: Dude I don't know if I really want to be around for that.

Trystan: Oh I would.

Quoc: Poor guy. I hope he doesn't get pissed at us.

Me: Well we did give him porn.

Quoc: Still he's got a truck covered in porn. It may take him forever to get that off.

Me: Yeah, but tonight will be the stuff of legend. I don't think I've ever been involved in a better prank. I just hope Andrew enjoys it as much as us.

Quoc: Yeah. Good idea Trystan.

Trystan: Thank you.

The next morning the truck was sitting on a busy street covered in pornography. I can't imagine what the thoughts of passing motorists may have been. Andrew did take it in good humor even going so far as to taking pictures of the whole aftermath.

It's amazing he considers me a friend to this day.

"It was an elaborate prank, and our supposed intellectual elite continue to fall for it." - Orson Scott Card


rawbean said...

Where are the pictures??? That is genuis. I love pranks. Good work!

Anonymous said...

That just rules! What a fantastic way to show your love for both your friend AND to show your undying love for porn! I am so proud to call you friend!


Scott said...

That is an amazing prank. Absolute genious.

Andrew said...

Ok, now I have to put in my 2 cents... That morning truly had to be one of the funniest of my entire life. I woke up late for work, went running out the front door, and what I saw was so unbelievable I just froze (pun intended). My truck was covered in frozen porn. Traffic was backed up two blocks from a stop light and people were just sitting there in their cars staring at the truck. One guy just couldn't take his eyes off of it: it must've been a good centerfold. At that point, I knew I was going to be late to work: there was no way around it. So I grabbed my camera, snapped some quick pictures, and grabbed anything that would hold hot tap water. I melted the porn on the windows -- enough to get me driving -- and headed off to work. Yes, I drove the truck to work covered in porn (sans window porn), parked in the Costco parking lot (yup, still covered in porn), and left it there. Yes, the porn truck sat for a full day in full view of all the happy Costco members. I will have to dig up some pictures for you to post.

Sam said...

Eli told me you had this story on your blog and I figured it was from when I didn't have access to a computer and missed it. But as she retold a quicky version of your story and Quoc laughed saying "good times" and I smiled and just wondered "why corn?" Thats not funny. I'm so glad it was a recent addition to your blog cus its so much funnier with porn than corn. I'm surprised I never heard that story before.

Quoc said...

Ahhh Good times, maybe next time we'll wear gloves and not freeze to death.(Just kidding Andrew)