Jun 10, 2008

Be sure to turn it off

I was reading a story earlier today about a woman who was caught cheating on her boyfriend. According to the story the woman invited over an ex-boyfriend for a night of infidelity when they unthinkable happened. Her cell phone hit the floor and dialed her current boyfriend who listened to the girl get her freak one with another man. Yeah, awkward.

The man apparently went out of his tree and drove over and assaulted her leaving a shoe print on her face. Poor woman. I don't understand violence of this nature. I've been cheated on before, but I would never raise a hand in anger to a woman. Guy probably has a small jimmy.

This tale reminds me of an incident I had, sans the brutality. I was hanging out with Corey having beers and my phone rings. It was another friend, who shall remain nameless. I pick up the phone and hear some loud music and a bunch of beeps from him hitting the phone keys. I scream my friend's name into the phone, but there was no response. Finally I hang up.

Couple seconds later the phone rings again. It was the same guy. Again I hear nothing but loud music and a bunch of beeps. I hang up.

Sure enough the phone rings again. Same person, same response. I hang up the phone wondering what could possibly be happening.

Of course he calls again. This time not only was there loud music and beeping, but I could faintly hear some woman talking dirty. Ye Gods he's getting freaky with his wife and calling me. What the hell?

I immediately hang up and call him back to make sure he would turn off his phone. I would hate to think that maybe he would call his mother during this. I reach his voice mail.

He calls again. I don't even answer.

I call him again and finally he picks up.

Him: Erik?

Me: Dude you called me a bunch of times.

Him: What?

Me: Just now. You kept calling me and all I heard was a bunch of music and beeping. Then finally I heard your wife...you know...talking.

Him: My wife?

Me: Yeah your wife.

Him: .........

Me: You really need to turn off your phone while you're intimate.

Him: Ohhhh hahahahahaha.

Me: What the hell is so funny?

Him: I'm at a bachelor party. I just got a lap dance. She must've hit the phone and dialed you. You're on my speed dial.

Me: Oh my god.

Him: Yeah.

Me: I hope she didn't call your wife.

Him: .....HOLY SHIT.

Me: Man you are screwed.

Him: Oh my god. Oh my god. I'm so fucked....

Me: Dude hang up now. I imagine you have some calls to make.

Him: Fuck fuck fuck.....

He hung up. Thankfully the only call that the lap dance made was to me. So let this be a lesson folks. First off if you have a wife who's not comfortable with the idea of a half naked woman on your lap, well don't get a lap dance. That should be obvious. Second get a flip phone, or simply turn it off.

Wiwille, protecting you from divorce.

"It is necessary to the happiness of man that he be mentally faithful to himself. Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving, it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe." - Thomas Paine

Woman assaulted after dialling boyfriend during sex


JLee said...

This always happens with my friends and their purses. I always say "your purse called me again" ha

Way to look out for the public interest, Wiwille!

Anonymous said...

im glad i have a flip phone and dont believe in speed dialing.. other than to voicemail.

Sitch avoided, oh yeah and i only get lapdances from my Princess! ;p

Anonymous said...

Mang ~ Nice clarification there! It's ok for me to get one though while you watch right? Oh wait, sorry wrong blog....

That's fucked up. Cheating #1, is disgusting and if anything, he should've beaten up the guy if he knew she was taken. #2 Abusing a woman does not only mean you have a small pecker, but that you are, a waste of human flesh.

And awesome work on freaking your friend out and advising everyone to respect your significant others wishes.

Miss Ash said...

Friends have done that to me a few times....but never when anything juicy is going on dammit!! Usually they are driving ... snore!

Mizzle said...

Yeah, I have friends that answer in the middle. Hence why I text them most of the time...although I did return the favor once...that was funny...

whatigotsofar said...

Cell phones, ruining booty calls since 1993.

SareBeth said...

number one reason why I got rid of the cell phone and stuck with a landline.. I can't have people knowing I'm at strip clubs.. tehehe