Mar 30, 2007

Squeal piggy.

The other day I was working on the shoulder press machine at the gym while a chunky teenager was on the butterfly machine next to me. Accompanied by a trainer, the kid went on and on to him about things uninteresting to everyone but him. To the physical trainer's credit he did nod and smile enough to keep the fatty engaged all the while trying to encourage him to lift more. The kid was loud and giddy and reminded me of Chunk from The Goonies.

Then the rotund adolescent dropped a bombshell.

Kid: I'm the mercy champion of my school. No one can beat me at it.
Trainer: Really?
Kid: Yeah. I've got a real high pain tolerance. I bet ya anything I can beat you.
Trainer: Oh yeah?
Kid: Yeah. Wanna see?
Trainer: ....uhh...okay.

I stopped my workout, cause I had to see this. The trainer and kid grasped palms and started their quest to make the other cry mercy. After a few moments fatty boom-ba-laddie started looking uncomfortable.

Kid:'re squeazin...ow....ow....
Trainer: You better submit.
Kid: can't...ow...
Trainer: Had enough?
Kid: fair...your squea...MERCY, MERCY, MERCY...

Kid was squealing like Ned Beatty in Deliverance. After the trainer let go the kid started shaking his hands and whining about how the trainer cut the blood from his fingers.

I being the mature adult I am laughed so damn hard everyone in the gym stared. The trainer gave me a look that showed he was envious as he was biting his lip trying not to bust into hysterics. The kid then glared at me. He didn't seem happy about being the subject of ridicule.

I finally had to move to the free weight room, cause every time I caught a glimpse of the kid I started giggling.

"I'm getting grumpier all the time." - Ned Beatty


Jinsane said...

That is pretty damn funny!! I probably would have had to get involved in the game.....or at least die trying!! LMAO

whatigotsofar said...

Sloth love Chunk!
Unfortunetetly, this trainer is now going to get sued by the kids parents.

CitySoul said...

LMAO. I would have liked to have seen that.

Miss Ash said...

Ohhh Chunk and the Truffle Shuffle, i love it!!!

Instead of laughing you should have joined in and told the kid that you were the mercy champion. Then laughed when you also beat him.

Mattbear said...

Ha! What a chump that kid is. Everyone knows *I* am the all-time Mercy champion!

rawbean said...

That's hilarious! And awesome that the trainer was like "let's do this".

Claire said...

Aw man. I would have bust a gut laughing!