Jan 4, 2007

Overrated films part 20.

Guys around my age understand the sacrifices of having a girlfriend in high school. When dating as an adult many people have the defining moment that secures the relationship as a serious commitment. Giving your significant other the keys to your apartment is just one example couples make as a gesture of their true affection.

High school was far less complicated than allowing your mate the ability to enter your home without a moment's notice, still most will say they wouldn't know it at the time. If you wanted to be nice to your girlfriend you had to follow seemingly simple, but really complicated rules such as knowing the right amount of public displays of affection without looking creepy, understanding that her friends' opinions might as well be religious text, and giving attention, but only when it's convenient for her.

The grand gestures of my high school dating experiences consisted of many things, but the one that really showed I cared for a girl was my willingness to sit through Dirty Dancing. It's a small miracle that by the time the credits rolled I hadn't thrown off my shirt and ran into oncoming traffic screaming. Viewing that abomination which turned into a colossal success did irreparable damage to my psyche and I still haven't healed.

While not one sane critic gave this film a positive review audiences made this film immortal. This low budget drama swept the headlines and became for many young girls the movie to see. Hearing them talk about it and how they felt so adult when they first viewed the film makes me wonder why guys don't sit around discussing their first porn. (Actually some of us do do that.)

Dirty Dancing is loaded with flaws, but the one element I couldn't understand was the music. This film is set in the early sixties, but damn the music is all over the board. First you'd hear 60s music, then 80s, then 70s, then back to 60s. The score was epileptic at best and why not? The rest of the movie was too.

Looking back on the film *shudder* I think the execs behind this wanted nothing more than an excuse to sell a soundtrack, but alas they created a movie that many claim will be a classic for many generations. I'm really tired of mass public consumption being labeled as great cinema.

Since I'm out of high school I will no longer subject myself to a dancing Swayze anymore, but I will say this to all females out there. If you love your man you will not insist upon his viewing of this film. It's known to cause high blood pressure, diarrhea, and bouts of temporary insanity. In rare cases men have been observed trying to break their own skull with a baseball bat when the infamous line of 'no one puts Baby in the corner' is spoken.

"The movie plays like one long, sad, compromise; it places packaging ahead of ambition." - Roger Ebert.

Since you sat through the pain of reading this tripe I bring you a present. The gift being Patrick Swayze singing the praises of his onscreen love interest:

5 comments:

whatigotsofar said...

I've had the time of my life and I owe it all to you-oo-oo

Yes, it was a horrible film. But I've got this theory, women don't actually like the film either. They only watch it when men are around. It is all part of their plan to test/torture the male of the species. They (women) want to see how much crap we (men) can put up with before, well, as you put it: "run into oncoming traffic screaming."

Rose DesRochers said...

I loved the movie, but don't hold that against me. Guess what movie I'm watching tonight? Dirty dancing two! :)

I'm out blog hopping. That is where you hop from one blog to the next until you reach 20. Check my blog in an hour for a plug to your blog and to see where my journey took me and to see how I got to your blog.

rawbean said...

did patrick swayze really sing that? I had no idea...what the hell...everything is different now.

Big Ben said...

I am slowly grinding a stuffed animal right now...

...she out of my league, just a fool to beleive...

...she's like the wind...

..your body close to me...

I've made a mess.

Lori said...

I just found your blog today (thanks to Claire) and have thoroughly enjoyed reading your gym stories, movie reviews, etc. Oh, I do hope you're doing well since the hospital incident.

The only issue I take with you is: Why on earth would anyone so dislike "Dirty Dancing?" Such a sweet, fun movie. I remember when it came out on video. My husband (at the time) watched it with me countless times. He never objected. Yes, he was awake. You know, I think guys comfortable in their masculinity and sexuality don't have issues with "chick flicks." Makes me wonder what you think of "Steel Magnolias." :)