Jul 30, 2009

Thursday Music

One of my goals this year is to pick up a musical instrument and learn how to play reasonably well. I haven't decided if I'm going to revisit those that I've already played, such as the piano, sax, clarinet, or guitar. I may try something new, such as the harmonica, obo, or a jaws harp.

I just need a new creative outlet. While this blog serves as one I'd like to spend my time actually creating songs like I used to instead of imitating them on Rockband while making up dirty lyrics. Sure it's fun to make a Bon Jovi song and turn it into how some heroin junkie enjoys watching German fetish porn on a portable DVD player while riding the bus, but I'd like to have a little more originality.

Regardless of what instrument I pick up and play I'll never be as cool as the kid below, and neither will you:



"Success is having to worry about every damn thing in the world, except money." - Johnny Cash

Jul 29, 2009

Films you need to see (Western Edition)

Westerns are often a hard sell for current American audiences. Like biblical epics the market was saturated in the fifties and early sixties, so many have abandoned the genre as being cliche. It's difficult to narrow down what it is that turns so many off to a setting that's ripe with possibilities of great drama, but I'm saddened to see this distinctly American type all but go the way of the dodo.

While Westerns have a history of producing incredibly corny films, and some even can be considered racist by modern sensibilities, there are some powerful movies that should not be ignored by buffs. So without further ado...

1. The Searchers - Probably one of the darkest Westerns, if not films, I've yet to see. While John Ford pictures can be ridiculously corny and stupid, this one tackles tricky subject matter and casts John Wayne as one of the most complicated protagonists ever. Wayne pulls off this performance brilliantly and it's still widely regarded as his best work.




2. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford - Audiences largely panned this film accusing it as being overly long and poorly paced. Most expect wild gun fights and chase scenes when watching a western I can see why they were disappointed in this. While I agree it's almost Malik-like, but this film is captivating with it's haunting soundtrack and excellent visuals. It's themes are universal and the acting is worth a look. A great character study as well as analysis of celebrity culture I would highly recommend this. Casey Affleck steals the show.




3. Shane - Maybe dated for today's audiences, but this wonderfully shot film set near the Teuton mountains is a tear jerking story of a gunfighter who attempts to live a quiet life by befriending a family of homesteaders. As this theme has been repeated numerous times in films afterwards the plot doesn't contain many surprises, but the performances alone, especially by a very young Jack Palance, makes this a movie I revisit often.



4. High Noon - Some would call this overrated and to a little extent I agree, but there are few movies finer than this one. A simple story of a marshall set off alone to fight criminals seeking vengeance, but it's pacing, characters, and soundtrack make it somewhat timeless.



5. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly - Although I think this is highly overrated it's influence cannot be denied. Although it sparked a genre that's often produced some of the worst westerns ever this movie is highly entertaining even with all it's flaws. I would recommend this for it's soundtrack alone.



6. The Proposition - Setting itself apart from the rest of these films in it's Australian setting this is a remarkable piece of storytelling. An excellent cast leads this incredible, albeit dark script. Although audiences largely panned this probably due to it's graphic violence, but I highly recommend it.



"The strength of The Proposition is its relentless moral ambiguity." - James Berardinelli

Jul 28, 2009

Viscus

At work today I passed a member of our management team and saw her enter the bathroom with her laptop open. This disturbs me more than it should. Now whenever I get an email/IM/etc from her I imagine she has that wincing look of strife when passing one's bowels.

Now some of you may be thinking that I have no room to talk, for reasons I won't go into detail, but still....

I think it's best to just stop typing at this point.

"For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end." - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Jul 27, 2009

Wiwille smells

I helped someone move...again. Not that this fact in and of itself is all that surprising, or interesting for that matter, but there happened to be an event worth noting.

I pick up the UHaul for Amy and drive it to her place. Knowing full well that this may be one of the hottest days of the year she had the boxes already piled up outside ready to be loaded. Excellent. This should be an easy move.

The loading of the vehicle went well as Amy kept things organized. The unloading was far more interesting.

Amy is moving in with a gay couple and in case you had any doubt about their sexuality there was a signed Brokeback Mountain poster framed in their living room. We moved the furniture up three flights of stairs and were sweating profusely thanks to the heat. Some friends of Amy's, a nice couple, showed up to assist and couldn't have shown up at a better time. Amy's boyfriend was getting really tired and I smelled like ass.

After we were done all sat around and chatted. The girl who showed up started to make conversation.

"My stash is sweating," she proclaimed.

I looked her up and down wondering where the hell she could be carrying pot as her outfit had no pockets and left little to the imagination. I was confused.

"Your stash?"

"Yeah," she said as she rubbed her upper lip. "My mustache."

Amy's boyfriend and I look at each other. "Oooooohhhhhh," we said in unison. Apparently he was thinking the same thing as I was. We both declared that the girl was really cool.

I returned the UHaul without incident, but I realized my car was sitting in the heat for hours. Black leather interior does not do well in heat. I contemplated throwing a sheet over my car seat and driving naked home, but knowing my luck I probably would've been pulled over. Plus Amy was riding with me. She's a good friend and I didn't want to subject her to that.

"I think people are universal." - Ang Lee

Jul 24, 2009

Res Publica

I used to believe in democracy. I wanted everyone to get involved in the process of this fine Republic and vote their conscious, speak at events, and help make this nation a great one. I would urge friends and family to learn about their communities and how exactly their process worked. If there was something they didn't like then change it even if I personally disagreed with it.

Sadly not all who are citizens of this country are rational human beings and in my naivety I didn't believe so many would actually hinder rather than help the democratic process. Now that I'm getting older I've come to the realization that if you don't know what you're talking about there's no shame in not voting. The democratic process is only as strong as its participants.

Take this lady who decided she can solve all of Santa Cruz's problems and made her voice heard amongst the city council:



While this woman was indeed flustered and a bit camera shy I have no doubt that many men have listened to her nonsense and in an attempt to look at her ginormous assets have told her how brilliant she is and that her blog must be fascinating. To all that have tired and may have succeeded in seeing her without clothing I place blame onto you.

"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine." - Thomas Jefferson

Jul 23, 2009

Thursday Music

"What the hell is in my boxers," I said to myself as I stood in the store.

I got out of the gym and was shopping with a friend yesterday when I noticed something odd was happening in my undergarments. I felt some foreign object wedged in my boxers that was causing as much annoyance as a pebble in my shoe. I reach my hands into my pockets and feel around trying to figure out what it could possibly be.

Realizing how much of a freak I must've looked like I asked the employee if they had a restroom. Sadly they had no public facilities.

If I were to figure out the cause of this drastic measures must be taken. I go behind a stand of merchandise with my back to the wall. I reach my hand into my pants and start digging for whatever it was that breached my clothing. Finally the unknown object makes its way out of my boxers and slides gracefully down the leg of my pants. I reach to the ground and pick up a cough drop. Yes a Halls with Vapor Action was lodged in there.

I have no idea how this item made its way there. The only thing I could figure out is that I had my boxers in my gym locker and the person that used it before obviously had a sore throat. Somehow the drop that was left before sprouted legs and crawled into the shelter of my underwear while I was working out.

You really didn't need to know any of this. This is Thursday Music. I have no idea why I just posted that.

Here's some Depeche Mode:



"I came from a small town and at school in one class there was me, a member from Depeche Mode and someone who went on to join The Cure. That was all in one class of 30 kids." - Alison Moyet

Jul 21, 2009

Civis

With all that's going on in the world with the health care debate, an economy in ruins, and situations boiling in the mid-east and elsewhere there's one issue that won't seem to die. Barack Obama's citizenship is something a lot of Republicans won't just let go even in the face of overwhelming evidence that's contrary to their conspiracy claims.

Many news networks are giving this story more attention than it deserves. Conspiracy theorists are incredibly vocal and even though it's been months after his inauguration nut jobs hound the courts and Congress about the President's citizenship. You may know folks who in spite of all evidence will still believe the man was born in Kenya and is a Muslim and likes to watch 'Queer as Folk' with Richard Simmons while practicing late term abortions.

Man hears what they want to hear and Birthers, as they're often referred to, will automatically assume that someone who denies their claims to be part of the large conspiracy. So if you do come across someone who buys into the idea that Barack Hussein Obama is not a natural born citizen the below points may assist you if you chose to engage in debate.

- His birth certificate, which the short form was posted by his campaign on the internet for all to see, was found to be legit by the current Republican Governor of Hawaii, the state's Health department, and it's registrar of vital statistics. The copy was not good enough for the tin foil crowd, so FactCheck.org viewed the document in person and confirmed it had all the necessary requirements for proof of citizenship such as the watermark, signature stamp, etc. It would even get him a passport. Birther's want the long form document, which required by state law to be sealed, cause I guess the entire state is in on this.
- The Honolulu Advertiser reported his birth in their announcements. To believe Obama was not born in Hawaii would be to assume that some reporter in this paper was in on this seemingly global conspiracy after Satan came to him and ordered him to falsely announce the birth of the anti-Christ to ensure his Presidency.
- Even if Barack had assumed dual citizenship from Kenya, which at the time was under British control, when he became an adult it became null and void. It's Constitution requires him to renounce any residency in any other nation.
- No one who buys into the nonsense of his lack of citizenship can explain why neither the Hillary or McCain campaign has ever made this an issue, one that may have won them the primary or general election respectively. Oh I forgot they are in on the conspiracy to raise the Dark Lord to rule the Earth. Sorry.
- Philip Berg, who's been launching numerous lawsuits about this issue that have been repeatedly thrown out of court, claims to have a recording of Obama's Grandmother who's said she was present in Kenya at the time of Barack's birth. He said he would release this tape, but has yet to do so even though it's been months since the alleged phone conversation. In this interview she makes no mention of him being born there.
- Kenya has not produced any evidence of any birth record for Barack Obama. The already mentioned Berg and WorldNetDaily.com claims that the country has all records sealed, but they both fail to mention that officials there say they have no certificates of live birth.

So in conclusion the conspiracy would require hundreds of people over decades to cover up Obama's nationality. Even leading conservatives, such as Michael Medved and Michelle Malkin think this line of reasoning is crazy. I can understand not liking the current administration and it's policies, but to distract yourself from the real issues while concentrating on this one, even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, is hurtful to your party and the process. While your enemy Barack Obama pushes legislation you don't care for you won't even notice, because you're too busy spending your time and money on this crap.

Now those who know me understand that I'm highly entertained by conspiracy theories. Hell I even believed one only because the evidence weighed heavily against the government. Sadly they admitted to wrong doing years later after everyone stopped caring. The Birthers, however; seem to not give a damn about little things called facts. This has gone beyond amusing to sad.

Ockham's Razor should apply at some point.

"Crazy, nutburger, demagogue, money-hungry, exploitative, irresponsible, filthy conservative imposters" who are "the worst enemy of the conservative movement" and "make us look sick, troubled and not suitable for civilized company." - Michael Medved on the Birther movement.

Pork chops and applesauce

Drew Carey got up to the mic and started gearing up the crowd. The marching band was blaring songs that filled Pioneer Square. The people were chanting and clapping and making merry. It was time to march down the streets to Qwest field.

I was overwhelmed with the sights and sounds of Seattle's soccer fans. As we headed down towards the stadium the crowd was still chanting and yelling and making sure everyone within a mile radius understood that they were excited about seeing their team play. The colors of the jerseys and the sheer joy made for a spectacle that I reveled in. I have yet to see anything like it in any professional sport.

I've never been a big fan of watching soccer although I do like playing the sport. I was skeptical about my experience wondering if it was something I would enjoy, but happily I had a great time. The stadium was brimming with excitement as the crowd chanted throughout the match and hit their noise makers. Even though the Sounders lost, which was expected, everyone seemed to have a great time. I'd actually go again.

Sadly there was no hooligan activity.

That night I went to Matt and Jen's for a party for Andrea and Justin. It was a fun get together as we all drank and warmly greeted the couple as they've been gone for quite some time. The shin dig took place outside and I brought a camp chair, but mostly left it unoccupied as I was mingling. I went back to get my chair as the party congregated back towards the house, but found four kids holding each end of it while they carried it.

I asked the children what they were doing and they said they're filling the chair with apples and pouring water on them. When asked why they thought this was a good idea they replied they need to make applesauce.

Of course.

The kids sensed my dismay at using my chair to create food, so they dumped the apples in another and said I could now use it to sit. Not wanting my ass to smell like wet apple I politley declined and contemplated lecturing their parents on how Planned Parenthood is a marvelous organization.

Parties with loads of kids is great birth control.

"The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop." - Mark Twain

Jul 17, 2009

Moving Mattbear

Yesterday I spent the evening moving the Mattbear clan. Of course it had to be on the hottest day of the year. I was a smelly mess when I finally arrived home.

I help about half a dozen people move a year, but I always learn something on each load of a U-Haul. Below are some things I experienced last night:

- I don't care how much they deny it, Mattbear and his wife feed their dog meth.
- Mattbear's wife could probably bench press me.
- On the first run I was sandwiched in between Mattbear and Launchpad in the cab of the U-Haul. Three heavy sweaty guys in a vehicle is not the most pleasant experience. Ann Hathaway probably could've been straddled on the hood of the truck wearing a Wonder Woman outfit and calling on me to do things to her that are illegal in 11 states and I still would not have been aroused.
- One of Mattbear's friends arrived and has the ability to out speak your average cattle auctioneer. He went into almost creepy detail about how he'd get rid of the body of a girl that he has a disdain for. Disturbing, but in a pinch I'll take his advice.

It's always an adventure with Wiwille's Moving Service.

"Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies." - Unknown

Jul 16, 2009

Thursday Music

Those of us who put information on the internet for all to see often times run across unsavory sorts who decide to leave comments that are less than kind. Why they feel compelled to do so is any one's guess, but they do and we that broadcast our thoughts will have to develop a thick skin.

One clever musician wrote a little ditty about such assholes and I found the video rather amusing. I'm sure most of you can relate to it:



"The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be determined by Internet vote... so look for Howard Stern's Private Parts to come in No. 1." - Jon Stewart

Jul 15, 2009

Love from across the pond.

An old friend sent me an email yesterday that caught me in a state of bewilderment. She's very attractive and gets a lot of attention from men, some wanted, but most advances can be defined as baffling to psycho. It's probably common amongst the pretty people of the land especially when you have the internet to contend with.

Social networking sites has opened a breeding ground for the disturbed to prey upon others to be an audience to their whimsy. Below is a message that my friend received from a fellow in the UK who happened to stumble upon her MySpace page:

XXXXX, what can I say? Stunning!!! So stunning in fact that I just choked on my last coffee of the afternoon, toppled backwards off my chair and ended up in a heap on the floor with spinal injuries and a PC splattered in decaff...

The good news is that after a quick visit to casualty, the Doctors said that the burns will heal, I won't need traction and at least one of my testicles should re-appear within 18 months-two years.

OK, I'm sorry for the poor introduction and please excuse my lame attempt at humour, but I had no idea of what else to say.

If you fancy chatting to a friendly guy with a great sense of humour, please drop me a message. Hope you do....

Harry

I told her if she responds to him I'll punch her in the mouth.

"You know, I have guys that are almost stalkers... it is very strange. I had this one guy that e-mailed me off my site, and thought we were boyfriend and girlfriend. He then came to my house in London, I do not know how he found it." - Caprice Bourret

Jul 10, 2009

Christ and dating part 2

I wrote a post a while back entitled Christ and Dating and to date it's probably the most time I've ever spent writing in any entry in the history of this blog. Even though it's been a few months since I scribed it I still get emails from folks wishing to stay anonymous giving feedback and even asking advice about their current relationship.

Asking me advice?

I was drinking with a friend not too long ago he gave me an update on his dating life.

Him: She's a Christian.
Me: Wow.
Him: Like devout.
Me: How devout?
Him: So devout she said she wouldn't date me unless I was one.
Me: Well...you're not.
Him: I told her that, but I said I'd be open to learning more.
Me: And she's still interested?
Him: She seems to be.

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?" - Corinthians 6:14

Me: Do you think she's going to try and convert you?
Him: Probably. Her friends are highly against this and told her not to pursue anything with me.
Me: My father wasn't either when he met Mom, but he converted eventually.

I never got the full story of why my Dad was attracted to Catholicism. He was raised without much religion at all, but most of his extended family were Baptists. As I understand it he had no interest in becoming a Catholic, much less a Christian. Still a few years into their marriage he decided to dedicate his life to God and when I was young he decided to get baptized in the faith.

His Baptist roots still show from time to time. Recently in a conversation about the death penalty I realized he knew little of what the pope stood for, but could almost quote verbatim any political stance of the Rev John Hagee.

My mother reminds me often regarding my father's lack of spiritual interests when they were dating, but although she never states it I believe she has a sense of pride in helping shape his conversion to Christianity.

“No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him” - John 6:44

Me: I think the fact that you said you were open about learning the faith makes you that much more attractive to her.
Him: Why?
Me: Remember that girl I dated back in Bham? She knew about my crisis of faith at the time, but being a preacher's kid I think she was attracted to the idea of bringing me back into what Christians call 'the book of life'. Come to think of it I guess I was kind of a 'bad boy' to her.
Him: Well you did drink quite a bit, but I see what you're saying.
Me: Girl's often love to mold the fallen angel into the man they dream of. This is maybe what your girl is thinking.
Him: Do you think so?
Me: I've been around many Christians in my life. Whenever they bring someone to the Lord most wear that fact like a badge.

I asked a Christian recently if she believed anyone should take a sense of pride in bringing them to church and what not. She claimed it's arrogant to believe that anyone but God did such a thing, but she understood the mentality. Educating people in any aspect makes someone feel good about themselves.

"Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing..." - Genesis 19:8

The girl texted my friend asking what he was up to. He responded that him and I were discussing issues of faith and later it would be girls. We went to a local pizzeria and talked about the issue of God more over more alcohol, which is kind of funny now that I think about it. I explained to him the things that made my walk with God shaky at times and discussed elements of the Bible that I couldn't wrap my head around.

Are we all descendants of Noah? I mean each and every race? Did that large ship carry millions of species? Finding no contemporary accounts was there a mass exodus of the Jews from Egypt? Did Christ exist as a spiritual figure as well as a historical one? Is evolution and Christianity mutually exclusive? Was Jesus a pacifist as so many claim? Is it possible to commit genocide and still be saved while someone else who commits blasphemy of the holy spirit will never see heaven?

These were but a few of the topics we covered.

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." - Hebrews 11:1

He listened to what I had to say, but I think he couldn't grasp the concept of simply letting logic go at times and just give in to the idea of faith. It's difficult for many to understand, including myself at times.

Him: I can't get past the hypocrisy.
Me: You'll find that in many theologies and philosophies. If you do try to learn about this you'll have to ignore the behaviors of others and just concentrate on what the book says.
Him: It just seems so cultish. I've been to church with friends and it seems like a big cult.
Me: What's the difference between a cult and a religion?
Him: I know. A thousand years.
Me: Look at one time Christianity was seen as a freakish faith in defiance of the pagan traditions of the Romans. Now it's universally accepted as an established religion. While the practice of mass varies between denominations you're still giving praise to an unseen Lord.

I explained that if she's the one than do the right thing, but still I feel that I failed my friend. I suggested some books to read and offered things from my own personal library, because the idea of reading the Bible is a task that can be very complicated. Those who have actually read it will know what I'm talking about.

I explained further about my hobby of studying various religions; however I'm no scholar. Maybe I'm not the best person to ask. I believe I helped him be even more cynical about faith, which wasn't my intention. I wanted him to learn as he asked of me; however I did recommend that he attend a Bible study to ask questions from someone who may have actually went to Bible college.

I've never met this girl, but from what he described she sounds very educated and nice. He's my best friend and I would like nothing more than to see him happy with someone who's good for him. Still if she's the right one for him nothing I say will change that.

"The man that curseth His God, shall bear his sin: And he that blasphemeth the name of the Lord, dying let him die: all the multitude shall stone him, whether he be a native or a stranger. He that blasphemeth the name of the Lord, dying let him die." - Leviticus 24:15-16

Him: Does this mean I have to stop saying 'Goddamn it'?
Me: Yes. It's considered blasphemous.
Him: I say 'Goddamn it' a lot.
Me: I know. I work on that. Now mostly my swearing is incomprehensible. Like Yosemite Sam.

My father says 'Goddamn it' a lot much to the dismay of my mother. He even compounds phrases such as 'Goddamn it to the Goddamn hell'. I'm not sure why he feels compelled to do this, but whenever he turns a swear word into a run-on sentence you knew he was really upset. Oddly enough hearing his use of creative swearing always made me laugh. When asked why it was okay for him to say such things and not me and my sister he would state it's between him and 'the man upstairs.' My mom would remind him of passages from the Bible about blasphemy, but being stubborn as he is he had to be reminded of it like a thousand times and it still hasn't sunk in.

Is typing a reference to a blasphemous word said in a conversation a sin? Hmmm...

I should probably keep my mouth shut at times. Some would say all the time.

"God will never ask us how many people we led to Christ. Stop counting and concentrate on conversing! God knows that apart from Him we will never lead anyone to Christ. He simply asks us to take Christ to them." - Evangelism.net

Jul 9, 2009

Thursday Music

"Def Leppard and Poison in Sept. You know you want to go."

This text I received from Corey put me in a state of bewilderment. See I know he wants to attend this butt rock event, but as expected my presence is requested.

Now I like many of my generation could not escape the hair bands of the late 80s-early 90s. Some I enjoyed (Guns & Roses, The Cult) and some I wished an early death (Enuff Z Nuff, Extreme), but I was enough of a fan to own Hysteria as well as Open Up and Say Ahh. I actually had a Def Leppard tshirt if you can believe it.

Still I outgrew the genre quickly and it was once thought that pansy white boy metal would go the way of disco, but a lot of the bands that once ruled the charts are now doing their geriatric tours and entertaining many who once proudly sported a mullet.

While I could live without seeing these bands I think it may be a good idea to attend this show. The people watching alone may be worth it. To witness the 30+ crowd relive the days of Aquanet, ripped jeans, and tshirts could be a treat. I'll also make my friend Andrea very proud of me.

I imagine I will need to get really really drunk for this show. If I do go you can expect a full report on One Bad Apple.







"I am truly independently owned and operated." - Bret Michaels

Jul 8, 2009

Dictata

A couple days ago one of modern history's most important men passed on. There was little news about the death of Robert McNamara, Kennedy and Johnson's Secretary of Defense, as news viewers were interested in other dead celebrities. Pop stars, actors, and infomercial stars ruled the front page, but McNamara didn't get much of a mention.

This is of little surprise to anyone as the former World Bank president didn't entertain many. The Vietnam conflict was often referred to as 'McNamara's War' as he was pivotal in increasing troop presence in the region after the French pulled all forces. The treaty obligations regarding the protection of our allie's rubber plantations lead to one of our darkest periods in our nation's history and he was a key player.

Later in life he wrote his memoirs and was the subject of the riveting 'Fog of War' in which he seemed to apologize for the mistakes made in both administrations that he served. Granted many critics saw this as too little too late, but regardless it's an interesting lesson on the arrogance of leadership. While McNamara's morality left a lot to be desired there's no mistaking his intellect was rarely rivaled.

Robert McNamara wrote about the lessons of war and how we as a world must never forget them, although one would argue that we have repeated his mistakes already. Regardless it seems that so many are far more interested in the life and death of someone who starred in The Whiz. This is why I believe mankind will one day destroy itself.

You probably stopped reading a few paragraphs ago didn't you? Oh well. I could type anything right now. Lama tomahawk Clark Gable router paper clip. I was at the gym on the eliptical trainer yesterday in front of the mirror and I saw a glimpse of my moobs bouncing up and down. It was kind of gross. I need to spend more time in the gym.

"Neither conscience nor sanity itself suggests that the United States is, should or could be the global gendarme." - Robert McNamara

Jul 7, 2009

It blew up what good.

"Seriously," she said as we left. "You were like a kid in a candy store. I don't think I've ever seen you light up like that. You rushed up there leaving me in the dust."

My friend was describing my overall giddy nature when it comes to purchasing fireworks. Taking a break from the BBQ I was encouraged to visit the Indian reservation and buy certain items that may or may not be legal otherwise.

Native Americans. We take their land, give them smallpox, and all but destroy their culture. They give us easy access to gambling and illegal fireworks. I really like the American Indian. They're quite generous.

It was on the 4th of July so all the tents were closing in a few hours. I speed walked up to the tent and was immediately greeted by a salesman who gave me the small tour of all the explosive goodness. They had artillery shells, fountains, and all sorts of colorful fire induced pretty things that were loud and sometimes obnoxious.

Nightfall came upon us and it was time to put on Wiwille's show of patriotism. Having way to much alcohol in me that is safe or reasonable to be handling explosives I got some assistance from Friend. Between the two of us we put on a great show for our small group of spectators. The artillery shells, of which I spent way to much money on, were a huge hit when launched correctly. My first attempt scared everyone including myself. It was then I decided that reading instructions may be a good idea.

I do love this holiday.

"No other date on the calendar more potently symbolizes all that our nation stands for than the Fourth of July." - Mac Thornberry

Jul 2, 2009

Thursday Music

I normally don't do cute on this blog, but today I'll make an exception. Long ago I was browsing the interent and I came across this kid lip syncing to Foreigner's 'Jukebox Hero'. I sent it to a friend of mine who responded saying it was the worst form of birth control she's ever seen.

I wonder if I ever have kids if I could get them to do this to old Metallica. Hmm. Maybe it's a good thing I'm not a parent.

Take it away kid:



"I find singing some of Foreigner's older songs are a little reckless and not exactly who I am now." - Lou Gramm

Jul 1, 2009

Epic douchebaggery

Seattle has it's share of douches and unfortunately many appear in the public eye too often. Whether it be Tim Eyeman, Mr Ravenblade, or anyone trying to broadcast how Furries are sensible individuals the Puget Sound area can be the haven for people we'd rather live without.

A new douche has emerged and this one must be stopped.

His name is Benjamin Schroeter and you may have heard of him already. Recently the story of the environmental activist who has sued Seattle to halt the fireworks display at Gas Works Park was mentioned on the Colbert Report. According to the Seattle Times Schroeter, who is not a lawyer, decided it would be a great idea to file a suit with the city to ensure the facilities were environmentally safe to the community and wildlife.

Now many have blasted Schroeter for being a holier than thou asshat, but reviewing the case I think it's reasonable to ask the city to impose an environmental study regarding the event, but I don't understand why he decided to wait until late June to do this. He had 365 days since the last fireworks display to file and let the courts go through the process, but I can only imagine the attention whore thought he'd get more press by presenting his case right before the event.

It worked.

It's doubtful the fireworks will be put on hold because of this guy and thank God for that. To try and stop anything that involves alcohol and things that blow up is down right un-American.

Benjamin's own website is comedy gold. He has a list of published and unpublished writings on it, which mostly consist of letters to the editor. I mean what kind of douche thinks that broadcasting his ramblings to the masses makes any lick of difference? Oh wait....

"Jeez... get your blog mentioned in a major publication and suddenly a guy thinks his blog is as noteworthy as the Colbert Report." - Alec