Aug 20, 2008

Wiwille's movie reviews part 56

Kurt Russel sure has come a long way since 'The Computer who Wore Tennis Shoes'. While most think of him with scorn there are a few films he's done that I enjoy and he's never really done a terrible performance, at least none that I've seen. Sure he may not be Hopkins, but he's normally reliable.

'Soldier' is the story of Todd, a sergent who from birth was raised by the military of a totalitarian government strictly to become the perfect fighter. We are introduced to a montage sequence of his training and action in the field while we watch his superiors ensure he has no sense of humanity. Killing with extreme efficiency Todd displays great skill by walking really slow and shooting everything he sees.

Todd's line of soldiers are suddenly veterans and find themselves in competition with a new line of combatants. Faster, stronger, and more deadly, one rookie soldier kicks the crap out of Todd and a couple of others in a demonstration. Todd is then discarded onto a planet full of garbage left to die.

The mostly mute soldier befriends a community of people living amongst the refuse. Attempting to integrate him into their small society the folk try and look past Todd's stern and aloof social norms. Still he slowly starts to learn how it is to feel, how to think independently, etc.

The new soldiers' commander decides to give another demonstration of their ability by landing them on the garbage planet, cause there wasn't enough space for a battle anywhere else apparently. Of course the soldiers run into the community and start wreaking havoc and it's up to Todd to save the day. Will Todd prevail against the new and improved instruments of war? Can a glimpse of compassion be the key to being the ultimate weapon? Could Garey Busey be more awesome? Do you even give a good shit?

Man this is one piece of horse poopie of a film. Kurt Russel has an easy job playing Todd, who has something like 14 lines in the entire script. The action is okay and the set pieces are what you expect from geography filled with trash. There's really nothing inventive here especially the horrible dialogue. This is a simple sci-fi action film that feels like a paint-by-the-numbers copy of The Last Supper. Sure the concept is familiar and safe, but the viewing is far from satisfying. Seriously this film is really dull. Only if recommending this film would save a loved one from death would I give this a thumbs up. Thankfully that'll never happen.

And to think I did sit through this with an ex-girlfriend years ago who loved it. She was a huge fan of action films and really liked this. I thought I'd never have to watch 'Soldier' again. The sacrifices I make for my readers.

Thanks to the anonymous commenter who submitted this film for review. I think it was actually someone who knows and hates me. Thank you again.

Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see it soon on Erik's Ramblings. Rules are posted here.

"Has there ever been a more insipid sci-fi action film than Soldier? Probably, although it's hard to imagine." - Kevin Maynard


Anonymous said...

I like Kurt Russell. He's a fine actor. But he's made a lot of crappy movies. But at least, we can always watch his good movies. Movies like Overboard, Executive Decision (best Steven Segal movie EVER), Unlawful Entry & Big Trouble in Little China.

Anonymous said...

I'm pained. You seriously critiqued this flick? That's no fun... The fun is in counting how many actual words Todd uttered (somewhere around 24), seeing if you can keep track of the body count, seeing if you can keep track of how many enemy soldiers he's taken out and how many are left to go, and appreciating the nonverbal forms of communication between the old line soldiers at the end. You can't take this flick seriously-take joy where you can and appreciate it when Goldy Hawn perportedly said it was a bitch getting through that film because Russell never got out of character the whole time they were making it. Anyone care to guess the number of words spoken between them for the duration? : )