Eye bleach sold separately.

I like to think I live in a world where simple logic dictates everything. Basic economic principles are true, a common sense of ethics are applicable in most situations, and a strong work ethic will help you achieve at least mild success.

Hearing the news that Dustin Diamond, Screech from 'Saved by the Bell', has released a sex tape involving a threesome and the act of Dirty Sanchez is enough to make me want to become a supervillan and dedicate my life to ending humanity. I could wear a cape. I like capes.

I can understand Pol Pot's rise to power better than I can comprehend how Screech convinced two women to a) sleep with him, b) at the same time, c) film it, and d) involve acts that are revolting to most. If a serious amount of cash wasn't given to the females my nefarious scheme to take over the world will soon take place.

Out of the entire cast why couldn't it be Tiffani Thiessen?





Which "Saved By The Bell" Character Are You?

WTF? I'm A. C. Slater? Why God why? And for the record no the chicks they don't love me. They should, but sadly they don't.

"All these child stars grow up and they're knockin' over banks and getting prostitutes. I'm, like, one of the only people I know that has managed to dodge all of that negative crap." - Dustin Diamond