Wiwille has been tagged.

I've been tagged by two lovelies Miss Ash and Jlee. My assignment is to list five likes and dislikes which is no small task. There are so many traveling through my brain it's hard to narrow it down to such a small list, but I'll try anyways.

First with the dislikes:

1. Seattle drivers. - I know I complain about them a lot, but seriously the stupidity on the road in this great city is mesmerizing. Recently there has been a lot of round abouts installed in many intersections, which I would normally declare to be a good thing; however people around here are slow to understand exactly how they work. No one uses their turn signal, so you can't tell if they're going to stay on it or veer off. Often times I'm stuck at one waiting for a chance to go, because no one is signaling they're going right.

2. Posting personal drama on Facebook. - I empathize with those who've had rotten luck in the match making department, but I hate logging into Facebook and seeing them talking trash about their exes, especially when I know all parties involved. It's incredibly tacky. This also applies to those who post links to articles about politics that they have little understand of and people who feel an incredible need to start a religious debate on a social networking site.

3. People who yell at service workers for things beyond their control. - Having worked many low paying jobs that required me to give friendly service I was often baffled at how many people would bitch and moan about things that had to have known were beyond mine, or at times anyone in the company's authority. It's especially tiresome when you're standing in line for something and the person in front of you is screaming at some minimum wage jockey about things irrelevant to their line of work.

4. The fact that Jersey Shore is a huge hit. - I hate my generation sometimes.

5. People who think they're smarter than they really are. - Then again it's kind of fun to remind them of how dumb they look when you point out that their only source of topical information comes from The Daily Show.

Now for likes.

1. Reeses Pieces - It's food of the gods.

2. Hearing the right song at a cool moment. - I love it when you're out and about and some song comes on that really fits with the moment you're having whether it be alone or with friends.

3. Boobs. - I mean really is there anything better than a nice pair? No there isn't.

4. Guiness. - There are few things I enjoy more than sipping a good pint amongst friends.

5. Driving at speeds unsuitable for God and man. - I do have a lead foot at times.

I won't tag anyone. Do as you will.

"People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them." - Dave Barry

Wiwille is lazy

In the tradition of ripping off WIGSF I stole this 69 question meme, which I swear was written by a fourteen year old girl who just discovered MySpace:

1. The phone rings; who do you want it to be? Her.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? I'm a bachelor. I only carry baskets unless I need toilet paper or something. Plus it helps budget. If it doesn't fit in the basket it means I bought too much. But yeah in the rare occasions I do return the carts with pride.

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener? Depends on the situation really and how much I've had to drink.

4. Do you take compliments well? Depends on what they're referring to, but normally I do.
5. Do you play Sudoku? A friend tried to teach me how to play the other night. It didn't go well.
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive? Sure. How long would I survive? Well depends. I was a boy scout and I know how to properly crap in the woods.

7. Do you like to ride horses? I do actually. Sometimes I'd like to shake things up and ride a horse through downtown wearing nothing but a loin cloth and brandishing a spear. I like to make everyone's day a little more surreal.

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid? I did. Football camp.

9. What was your favorite game as a kid? Battleship
10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew she was married, would you go for it? If it was Scarlett I say hell yes.

11. Have you lied to get out of a date? Looking back I actually have. Way back in high school. She found out. It sucked.
12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you? Depends on the belief and if she demanded that I partake in hers. I don't see myself converting to Scientology.
13. Do you like to pursue or be pursued? I like the thrill of the hunt.

14. Use three words to describe yourself? Bag of awesome.

15. Do any songs make you cry? Some have, some have made me angry that someone that it was a good idea to produce such crap.

16. Are you continuing your education? I always learn something new. The other day I found out that Berklee College of Music is in fact not in Berkley CA. Doh!
17. Do you know how to shoot a gun? I do.
18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed? Wallet, phone, keys.
19. How often do you read books? I read when I poop, so every day.
20. Do you think more about the past, present or future? The future and the upcoming apocalypse.
21. What is your favorite children’s book? The Lorax.
22. What color are your eyes? Brown.
23. How tall are you? 5'10
24. Where is your dream house located? Italy.
25. Do you have a secret fetish? It's a secret.
26. Have you tried sushi? Many times.

27. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? I have.
28. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?About a month ago.

29. When was the last time you were at Church? It's been a while.
30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today? Work.
31. What was your favorite job? Studio photographer.

32. Do you like mustard? I like the spicy hot kind.
33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat? Sleep.
34. Do you look like your mom or dad? I look a lot like my Dad, but it's funny that I share no blood with him.
35. How long does it take you in the shower? Depends on what exactly I'm doing in there.

36. Can you do the splits? Never have, never will.
37. What movie do you want to see right now? Once.

38. If you could fast forward your life, would you? Nah.
39. What did you do for New Year’s? Sat at a dive bar and was annoyed with some random old drunk who called himself the pillar of the community.

40. Do you think The Grudge was scary? Never saw it.

41. Could you relate to a character in Mean Girls? Not that I can recall, but it doesn't help I was never a girl in high school.

42. Do you own a camera phone? I do.

43. Do you have an “ex box” with pics and letters from past lovers? I used to.

44. Was your mom a cheerleader? She was not.
45. What’s the last letter of your middle name? S
46. Do you like your middle name? Sure.
47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night? Anywhere from 5-8
48. Do you like care bears? Not a fan.
49. What do you buy at the movies? Reese's Pieces and Sprite.
50. Do you know how to play poker? Not well.

51. Do you wear your seat belt? I do.
52. What do you wear to sleep? Boxers and tshirt.
53. Anything big ever happen in your hometown? Quiet Riot once played there. That's how exciting that bustling metropolis got.

54. How many meals do you eat a day? Three
55. Is your tongue pierced? Never even considered it.
56. Ever meet anyone you met on myspace? I've met bloggers, but never anyone random on MySpace. I have with some Facebook folks though.
57. Do you read myspace bulletins? Why would anyone want to read another meme...oh wait..

58. Do you like funny or serious people better? I like to laugh. I'm serious enough for most.
59. Ever been to L.A.? A few times.
60. Did you eat a cookie today? I should.
61. Do you use cuss words in other languages? Sometimes.

62. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads? Pay.
63. Do you hate chocolate? Don't hate it, but not much of a fan. Actually I love white chocolate.

64. What do you and your parents fight about the most? What don't they fight about?

65. Are you a gullible person? I can be at times, mostly when it comes to females.
66. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy? No, but you do if you want to see your bank account disappear.

67. If you could have any job what would it be? Fighter pilot.

68. Are you easy to get along with? I would believe so. Others might disagree.
69. What is your favorite time of day? Miller time.

"It’s got 69 questions. Make your own jokes please. I can’t be bothered." - WIGSF

Meme time.

I'm bored and stole this meme from WIGSF and Jlee.

1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
Water

2. Have you ever kissed anyone named Matthew?
Thankfully I can honestly say I haven't.

3. Where was your profile picture taken?
At a bowling alley.

4. Can you play Guitar Hero?
I think everyone can. How well one can play is a different question.

5. Name someone that made you laugh today.
Jessica.

6. How late did you stay up last night and why?
I can't recall how late I stayed up, but it was past my bedtime.

7. If you could move somewhere else, would you?
Probably.

8. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
Yep.

9. Which of your friends lives closest to you?
My roommate.

10. Do you believe ex’s can be friends?
Yeah. I'm friends with a few.

11. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?
I'm not much of a fan. I dated a girl who loved the soda so much I actually bought her Dr Pepper pajama pants. Seriously.

12. When was the last time you cried really hard?
About a couple months ago.

13. Where are you right now?
Work.

14. What bed did you sleep in last night?
Mine

15. What was the last thing someone bought for you?
A beer.

16. Who took your profile picture?
Andrea

17. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Some co-workers.

18. Was yesterday better than today?
Nope. Today is a good day. Didn't have to bring my AK.

19. Can you live a day without TV?
I can.

20. Are you mad about anything?
Not right now, but that can change on a dime.

21. Are you upset about anything?
Why even write this question after having someone answer the last one? Seriously.

22. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
I do. As long as I get to see boobies.

23. Are you a bad influence?
I was told I was on many occasions.

24. Night out or night in?
Night out.

25. What items could you not go without during the day?
Boxers.

26. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
Jessica.

27. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
"Aw...thanks...well...I'm going to bed now too....so sweet dreams."

28. How do you feel about your life right now?
Needs more beer and boobies.

29. Do you hate anyone?
Hate's a strong word.

30. If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find?
Emails I'll never let anyone read.

31. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
Assuming they don't test for alcohol yes.

32. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
Surprisingly yes.

33. What song is stuck in your head?
Head, shoulders, knees, and toes.

34. Someone knocks on your window at 2am, who do you want it to be?
Scarlett

35. Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50?
Oh hell no.

36. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
Eat.

37. Do you think too much or too little?
Moderation.

38. Do you smile a lot?
Bwhahahahahahahahahaha

39. Who was your last missed call on your Mobile phone?
Eli

40. Is there something you always wear?
Shirt.

41. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
In a meeting.

42. Did you have an exciting last weekend?
It was actually. Bought a musical instrument and enjoyed some beer.

43. Have you ever crawled through a window?
More times than I can remember.

44. Have you ever dyed your hair?
Yes.

45. Are you wearing a necklace?
No.

46. Are you an emotional person?
I can be.

47. What’s something that can always make you feel better?
Reading. Going for a nice drive. Boobs.

48. Will this weekend be a good one?
It might.

49. What do you want right now?
Bolivia

50. Have you ever worn the opposite sex’s clothing?
Yes and it was a fun Halloween.

51. Have you ever worked in a food place?
Does a movie theatre count?

52. Whats on your schedule for tomorrow?
Work. Gym.

53. Does anyone know your facebook password?
No and no one ever will.

"I’d refuse to take the test because everybody should damn well know that my body is a fucking temple!" - WIGSF

Meme time

I'm feeling lazy today so here is a meme stolen from the good WIGSF:

***************FOODOLOGY***************
1. What is your salad dressing of choice?
I'm a big fan of Ceasar, but still not sure why the hell it's called that.

2. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
Probably Jak's

3. What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it?
I do eat a lot of chicken and rice, but if so inclined I'd dine on sushi every night.

4. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Peperroni, mushrooms, extra cheese.

5. What do you like to put on your toast?
Strawberry jam

***************TECHNOLOGY***************
1. How many televisions are in your house?
I don't own a house

2. What colour cell phone do you have?
Black, cause that's critical to talking to someone.

*****************BIOLOGY******************
1. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right handed mostly, but it depends on activity. Most of which I won't post about here.

2. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Other than wisdom teeth I once sold my soul to the devil for a date with Alyssa Milano when I was 12. Bastard never ponied up.

3. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
A girl off the dance floor.

4. Have you ever been knocked unconscious or fainted
I've been knocked unconscious a few times due to various reasons, most of which involve alcohol.

************BULLCRAPOLOGY**************
1. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
You know that would be kind of cool. I'd make the last week of my life one huge party in Vegas.

2. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Cornhulio

3. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
For that kind of money I'd drink it naked while running through a mosque.

************DUMBOLOGY******************
1. How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
One.

2. Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
Had an interesting encounter with one last week, but nothing became of it. He just kept staring at me in a parking lot when I pulled into a space. The cop just kept staring till I finally knocked on his window and asked if everything was ok. This seem to catch him off guard.

3. Last person you hugged?
Eli
**************FAVORITOLOGY****************
1. Season?
Fall

2. Holiday?
All Saints Day

3. Day of the week?
Saturday

4. Month?
March
***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************
1. Missing someone?
Yes

2. Mood?
Mellow

3. What are you listening to?
Neil Young

4. Watching?
My weight

5. Worrying about?
My skills at Jenga
***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************
1. First place you went this morning?
Work

2. What’s the last movie you saw?
The Fisher King

3. Do you smile often?
Only when I'm drunk
********************QUESTIONS******************
1. Do you always answer your phone?
Yeah I do. Well not always. There are times when I poop and stuff.

2. You love…?
Dark beer

3. If you could change your eye color what would it be?
Silver

4. What flavour do you add to your drink at Sonic?
Never been to Sonic

5. Do you own a digital camera?
Yes I do

6. Favorite Christmas song?
Eric Cartmen's version of O Holy Night

7. What’s on your wish list for your birthday?
Anne Hathaway

8. Can you do push ups?
I can

9. Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
As long as it doesn't involve jail I'm excited.

10. Ever been in a car wreck?
I have.

11. Do you have an accent?
I knew a Canadian who claimed I have an accent, so yeah I guess.

12. What is the last song to make you cry?
Every time I hear Bryan Adams I weep.

13. Plans tonight?
Gym, dinner, movie, sleep. I lead a very exciting life.

14. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Nope. I've always had shelter.

15. Name 3 things you bought yesterday
I didn't purchase a single item.

16. Name 3 things from the bailout
Uhh. You're screwed. You're screwed. You're even screwier.

17. Have you ever been given roses?
I have.

18. Current hate right now?
The media's fascination with Octomom.

19. Met someone who changed your life?
Many

20. How did you bring in the New Year?
With alcohol

21. Name three people who might complete this?
Can't think of a single one.

22. What were you doing 12 AM last night?
I was peeing. You needed to know that.

23. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
I need more sleep, oral.

"Unsalted butter. Sometimes, in between two pieces of bread, I’ll put a buttered slice of untoasted bread. I call that the bread sandwich. Or I’ll switch it around with a slice of toast in between to untoasted slices to make a toast sandwich. If I have to, strawberry jam. But not good strawberry jam; the cheap stuff. The kind of jam that is more sugar than fruit. You know the stuff, it’s basically just spreadable red." - WIGSF

Interview with a Wiwille Part 2

Well I've requested some more folks to interview and as the good little bloggers they are they were accomodating. Rules for this meme is:

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions).
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

First up we have questions by the ever creative Mattbear:

1. You have been hired to direct the big-budget movie updating the 80's hit show The A-Team. Who do you cast? (Assume your first pick for each role will sign on no problem)

This is a tough one as I'm not sure what exactly the premise of the script will be. If it's a parody the cast would be dramatically different than a version that would take the story in a far more serious manner. Assuming I would direct a film where the concept would be on a more somber note I think the following cast would work well. Of course this will only makes sense to me as the film would probably differ than most would imagine.

Face - Nathan Fillion
Hannibal - Ernest Borgnine
Murdock - Jim Carey
B.A. Baracus - Michael Clark Duncan
Tawnia - Anne Hathaway

2. You are forced to choose, forever and ever amen, between beer and whiskey. You can only drink one ever again. Which is it?

Beer. Although I do like me some whiskey, I love beer. Mmmmm beeeeeerrrrr.

3. What one person, whom you actually know, would you say has influenced you the most?

Tough call, but honestly it would be someone you know as well and that would be Corey. Probably for reasons neither one of us would like to admit.

4. What one person, whom you have never actually met, would you say has influenced you the most?

This is another tough question as there as been so many. At the risk of sounding incredibly corny the biggest influence on my creative life has been Ansel Adams. I think I'll always be chasing his work no matter what medium I choose to express myself in.

5. If you could study one subject all the way to a PhD level, without having to worry about making a living off of that degree, what would it be?

If money were no object I'd get a PHD in Roman History.

Next up with have the seemingly absent blogger Mizzle.

1. What is your favorite mixed drink?

Bloody Caesar. Yummy.

2. What was your first car?

A blue 1980 Camaro. The car was a tank.

3. If you could run any company, which one would it be?

Well besides Playboy I'd rather run a non-profit org of some sort. Probably an adoption agency.

4. What would be in your personal hell?

Constant reruns of Full House with intermissions of Hootie and the Blowfish's greatest hits.

5. If you were stuck on an island with one thing, what would it be?

I would have to say a knife worthy of Rambo.

"I have no aspirations of world domination through the pop charts. None at all." - Anne Hathaway

Interview with a Wiwille

This interview meme has been floating around for a while:

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions).
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

At my request I received questions from not one, but two bloggers. First up we have the lovely Jlee:

1. If you could own only one cd, what would it be and why?

This is a tough one. It's like picking your favorite child. I guess if I had kids I could relate to that statement. Okay it's like picking your favorite pair of boobs.

I would probably own Glenn Miller's London Recordings. I never grow tired of listening to this album and he's one of the few artists that I've listened to all my life and never once felt any shame about it.

2. Describe your fondest memory from childhood.

My Grandpa Chuck once made me a go-kart when I was five years old. I drove that thing all around the property and it was great fun. My parents were standing there talking with each other and I decided it would be a great idea to drive the thing in between them. Dad hollered at me as I was zipping along powered by a Briggs and Straton motor. My Grandfather got a huge kick out of it laughing his ass off.

Oh there was that time I came across Grandpa Mario's naked lady calendar when I was six. That was awesome.

3. If money was no object, where would you live and why?

Well if we're talking fantasy here I'd buy my own island in the Mediterranean. Reason being is that I could easily travel to Europe or North Africa at any time. Plus having my own island would just be cool. I could ride a motorcycle all around it naked if I chose to.

4. If you had to lose one of your senses, which would you choose and why?

After much thought I'd probably lose my sense of smell. It would make changing in the locker room easier.

5. Cats or dogs?

While I don't hate cats I prefer dogs. They're just more fun.

Next up we have questions from the never to be duplicated WIGSF:

1. Steelers or Cardinals?

I'm not sure if you're asking who I want to win or who I think will grab the ring. I want the Cardinals to take it, but my money's on the Steelers.

2. Really, what is it about Michael Bay that angers you so?

I could write an entire post about this topic alone. While I'm not a huge fan of his films there are worse directors out there. Even at his worst (Armageddon) there's usually at least one redeeming quality regarding his films. Heck I'll watch the crapfest that is The Island again. I don't have to explain why.

Visually he's always entertaining though. His films have a great look given the genre he chooses, but he never angered me until I sat through that miserable dreck that was Pearl Harbor. With dialogue that sounded almost alien, performances so terrible even for his movies, and a story line that was convoluted at best Bay succeeded in taking an important as well as tragic historical event and made it into a simple backdrop to an incredibly corny love story.

Transformers was kind of clever at times I'll give him that. Sans the already mentioned Pearl Harbor most of his movies aren't pretentious. They're crap action films marketed to a slack jawed audience who have Thomas Kincaid paintings hanging in their bathroom.

3. Hans Solo vs. Indiana Jones, who wins in a deathmatch?

Han mostly cause Chewie would have to step in and he I believe the Wookie would kick the ever loving crap out of Short Round.

4. What's the most expensive beverage you've ordered for yourself?

I was once on a date at what some would consider an expensive restaurant. I ordered some glasses of highly recommend wine. They ended up costing me $37 a glass. A glass. It wasn't that good either.

5. Somebody hands you a chloroform rag and you've got the opportunity to knock out Ryan Reynolds, do you do it?

Nah. He's living the dream. I may be jealous, but I'm not spiteful.

"One of the best things for a woman to hear is that she is sexy." - Scarlett Johansson