I need beer

As a married man you are entitled to see places you've never thought existed. One of these places I ventured to last night was Bath and Body Works, the most emasculating place known to mankind.

Someone in the cosmetics industry decided to make women believe that humans smell like rotting corpses, so they must use products that in testing were applied directly to the eyes of kittens in order to smell nice. This has worked for many decades and considering the amount of products this store had it doesn't that's going to change soon.

The wife was doing some early Christmas shopping for the ladies in her life and asked me about each product, holding it under my nose and making sure I consumed enough scent, and if the recepient would like it. I felt as useless as Bill O'Reilly at a NOW convention. I assumed they would like the lotions as they smelled nice, but I'm clueless as to what women want when it comes to cosmetics, let alone a specific one. I shrugged often and nodded in approval, but I was of little assistance to her.

The clerk looked like she was in high school and had a cheery diposition. I'm sure it's hard for a girl to be grumpy in a place so fragrant. Maybe the lotions and such are filled with anti-depressants?

"I love to put on lotion. Sometimes I'll watch TV and go into a lotion trance for an hour. I try to find brands that don't taste bad in case anyone wants to taste me." - Angelina Jolie