Wiwille plays with the young.

Last night I decided to play Call of Duty: Black Ops, a game I haven't played in months, while killing time before "Sons Of Anarchy" aired. I got an invite to play along with my friend Mattbear, so I naturally accepted.

I was playing along, but couldn't hear anyone through my headset. I saw Mattbear in my sights and he wouldn't shoot me for some reason. I ran up and knifed him. I saw him shortly thereafter and did the same. Wow, Mattbear is really sucking it up I thought. This went on for quite some time till the game finally ended.

Finally my headset worked and I said hi to him, only to find a child's voice on the other end. Ye gods I was beating the crap out of his son. The ass kicking was so ruthless it showed Mattbear as my nemesis. I killed him a total of twelve times, as opposed to him killing me for four.

My mic kept cutting in and out, but another game commenced and I decided to play. Mattbear's son was on my team and he kept talking about the game, along with his other friends who were in the party, who were the same age as he is it seems. Listed below are some the highlights of their conversation:

Him: Kill him. Kill him till he dies!
Him: He's got the death machine. He knows what he's doing, not like us ten year olds.
Him: He keeps killing that one guy. I think that guy is going to tell his dad on him.
Him: My dad can beat wy-willy.
Him: I think that guy said the 'f' word. I'm going to kill him again.
Him: You're just stupid. Don't point that at me or I'm going to stab you until you bleed.

I felt bad as I was schooling these kids, so after the match I decided to leave. I put in Kinect sports to do some boxing. I played the mini-game where you're required to knock out as many opponents in a specific time. I saw Mattbear's score of 10 on the screen, beating my personal best of 9. This couldn't stand, so I played and made sure I scored 11 opponents, just because I'm competitive like that. I didn't cheat doing the Popeye punches either. It's the little things I guess. Now that I think about it, it was probably his son who got that score. I need to apologize to him.

"I just moved into the world of Xbox Live. And I've discovered that everyone on the Internet is a lot better than me. I spent half an hour the other day designing a boxer, and I got knocked out twice in the first round." - Daniel Radcliffe