Drunken Wiwille....on video!

With cell phone cameras, tiny camcorders, and the like I sometimes forget that my drunken antics will be recorded forever. Not that I really give a damn when I'm busy pickling my liver, but when sobriety rears it's ugly head I feel a tinge of fear over what exactly has been documented.

Being a former wedding photographer I was used to being behind the camera a lot, but recently my highly intoxicated self has made its way to video. You may have read my post a while back about Andrea and Justin's wedding where good times were indeed had. Well the video is up.

Yes folks Wiwille is on video for the blogsphere to enjoy and/or mock. My wobbly speech is about 23:00 into it, the last speech to be made. Just look for the chunky guy in a white button down.

"Music played at weddings always reminds me of the music played for soldiers before they go into battle." - Heinrich Heine


Banks Wedding! from Justin Banks on Vimeo.

Thursday Music

Cover tunes are such a mixed bag. While some can actually improve on the original there are others that can painfully bastardize the harmony of the song's first incarnation. With music constantly being sampled, i.e. ripped off, it's no surprise that kids would rather listen to a modern update of a classic.

What's fun about cover tunes is the debates they inspire amongst music buffs who may fancy themselves connoisseurs, but in reality don't listen to anything produced before 1986. Many bands have made quite a name for themselves copying silly songs such as early Van Halen and one hit wonder country groups, but there are some quality bands that can belt out a previous hit with good results.

Today I bring you a band which is a favorite of my best friend covering Slade's 'Come on Feel the Noise'. Yes I know this has been covered before by the infamous buttrock band Quiet Riot.

You are correct that I'm posting this partially to annoy Mattbear.



"We're not arrogant, we just believe we're the best band in the world." - Noel Gallagher

It's over

Last night I watched a man step on the stage to speak to this country. He stood in front of his microphone and like a rock star he swooned the audience with his command of language, his message of hope, and his amazing charisma. Girls were crying, celebrities were gushing, and last night all were entranced by the left's new hero.

A friend's obnoxious buddy stood up from his chair as the speech was being delivered. He then yelled that he couldn't believe this nation elected a black president.

If you asked me a few years ago if our country was ready for something like that I would have laughed at the idea. I truly underestimated how progressive the US could be.

I walked outside. I heard fireworks. I get into my car and start my way home. Sitting at a red light I look over to the car next to me. The girl started chanting Obama's name. She had me roll down my window and we slapped high fives as she leaned out the car. She then grasped my hand and shivered with glee. The girl blew me a kiss and I raised my hand to catch it. They drove off sharing their excitement with anyone within earshot.

Hope. It filled the city of Seattle as a sense of closure was brought to an incompetent administration. This country wanted something. The public cried out for change in our government and amazingly enough they got what they wished for. This is what I love about living in the US. If we really want it we can not only elect a minority president, but one day we can see a good one rise to power. Yes we can do it if we struggle, sacrifice, and never stop believing that all things are possible. As the history books close on this chapter of our existence that I've been lucky to not only observe but participate in I do hope it's readers will learn about this moment. The time when the electorate stood up to the powers that exist and demanded something new, something better, and for generations later we expected something greater from our elected leaders. It's citizens would stand for no less than an amazing person occupying 1600 Pennsylvania. Maybe that's a romantic ideal that only exists on television, but for a moment I felt that it may be possible.

Time will tell if Obama will be a good President or not. Regardless it is my hope that our citizens never forget the trials of living with a leader like Bush and never act as apathetic towards the federal government as they're used to.

"Americans... still believe in an America where anything's possible - they just don't think their leaders do." - Barack Obama

Vote

Unless you live like Grizzly Adams you are fully aware of the fact that today is election day. If you haven't cast your ballot I implore you to do so. Hey you can get a free cup of Starbucks for doing so.

They should give away beer.

Anyways for those who care about which lobbyist endorsed candidate will rule their office at the whim of special interests I plead with you to head down to the polls and make your voice heard.

They should give free lap dances for voting.

So....if you're unclear about who you're going to vote for simply do some online research to see which politician fits your political persuasion. This can be done from the lowest of offices to the President. It's simple really. If you're still confused you can call me and I'll tell you how to vote...

...Hell I'll settle for a glance at nice boobs at the polls.....

....Back on track then. Voting is integral to the democratic process and we as a people can't afford to not get off our asses and take some time from watching reality television and abusing our children to go to the polling stations...

...could we at least get a shot of whiskey?....

Okay I'm getting a little distracted here. Do your civic duty and vote today. Your future depends on it. Even if it is for the wrong person (McCain) just head your lazy ass to the polls.

"Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost." - John Quincy Adams

Election time

Election time is tomorrow and a mixture of dread and excitement is filling the air across both sides of the aisle. Me I've already casted my ballot and I'm currently in wait and see mode.

I used to have a respect for any and all reasons people made their choice, but that has since changed. While I understand most vote with their wallet and I can't say I blame them completely I cannot sit back and idly give nods to people who only vote for selfish gains.

While I understand the morality of issues such as abortion, gay marriage, etc. I look to my President to handle one issue above all and that being foreign policy. Our country is in dire need of a better relationship with the world community which not only affects our standing in the Security Council it also ties in with our trade relations. For social issues I hope our Governors, Senators, and the like can aptly defend and it's own party's platform.

But like most Americans we have no desire to clean up the mess we've made. We'd rather sit back and demand the President solve each and every issue this country faces. This is exactly why I'm worried about Obama assuming he gets elected.

Take a trip back in time with me. Bill Clinton won the 92 election with much hype. Promising to fix the recession, fight for minority rights, make sure nationalized health care is a viable option, and insuring broccoli will one day taste like bacon he entered the White House with very high expectations. Sadly his first couple years didn't go as expected as a half assed 'don't ask don't tell' policy was implemented, the health care fiasco created even a larger mess for the industry, and he was viewed upon as a weak leader incapable of delivering on the policies of his party.

Due to his inability to live up to the hype the Republicans took over Congress in the mid-term elections for the first time in decades. Consequently we saw a great politician turn into a lame duck who in a hundred years from now will only have impeachment to be remember for. Granted given the disaster that the current administration is we look back and romanticize our past, but as history moves on I see that changing.

Voters tend to have very short attention spans and I'm hoping the public will not demand that Obama be so Christ like if he enters the office, but I'm cynical. This could be a big win for the Republicans if he doesn't deliver soon and this upsets me. The economy is not going to turn around at the drop of a hat, the war won't cease, and we still have a lot of foreign relations that needs to be mended, but I'm afraid it won't happen soon enough for our impatient electorate.

All that being said I do hope you cast your ballot tomorrow and pray you not only think about the highest office in the land, but your other civil servants as well. Dispense the responsibility wisely and remember that they are just human beings as fallible as us. Well maybe they don't drink as much as I do.....

"It wasn't simply that Clinton created the greatest prosperity in the country's history. Or that we created 22 million new jobs, more than ever before. Under Clinton, poverty was reduced 25%." - Sidney Blumenthal

Halloween with Wiwille

I remember Halloweens of years ago, where mischief ruled the evening. Pumpkins smashed, cars egged, and general neglect of any activity that was safe or reasonable was on the agenda of many a teenager including myself.

Now I'm 33 years young. Not much has changed.

The night started off well with some drinking down at Ishca's. A live band was playing Irish music as beverages were consumed at a rate that would make Boris Yeltsin proud. Lively conversation and costume watching was to be had as there were many interesting outfits.

Only one guy got my Boondock Saints outfit and it was because of the fake tattoo (thanks Eli).

The evening progressed and we all made our way down to Rumors. I was the first to arrive and luckily a friend was up at the front of the line so I got to bypass the hour long wait. Sadly most of my friends didn't so just a few of them waited to get in. Standing in line at a gay friendly bar was quite surreal. Jessica's friend greeted me by grabbing my package. Yes it was a guy. I just let it go.

Finally I enter the bar and get myself a drink. I figured I needed one after having my genitals violated. Still I had a good time catching up with an old friend, dancing, and checking out all the interesting costumes. It would have been a better evening if I hadn't fell on the dance floor, but it wasn't the first time that happened and if I don't change my drinking habits it probably won't be the last.

The rest of the weekend was spent recovering from being up for almost 24 hours that Friday. I'm still beat. I really need sleep and yet here I am blogging. I'm getting too old for this. The things I do to keep writing. I wish I could've written this on Halloween. That would've been an interesting post. Probably illiterate, but that's nothing new.

"There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world." - Jean Baudrillard

Lēogan

My friend, who shall remain nameless, is not a fan of Obama. In fact he's made it clear he'll be casting his ballot for McCain, well that is if he votes at all. So anti in his Democrat stance he often sends email forwards with jokes and little tidbits against the left's chosen savior.

Most of those were reviewed by me only to be quickly deleted; however one did intrigue me. My friend even wrote in the forward itself explaining his stance. Listed below is his message (grammatical errors intact):

"This email was passed on to me by a U.S. Veteran (not the origional one from the message) who is a black man origionally from Trinidad and who served in the U.S. Army for over 20 years. He is a good friend of mine and even he feels this way about Obama. PLEASE PASS THIS ONE ON TO EVERY VOTER YOU CAN!!!!

Your going to want to take a hard look at the ballot before you make your decision people.
Is there an American flag hanging near where your voting? How do you fell about that flag and about your freedom. And yes, I know there is still Freedom in this country because I have traveled to the Philippines where there are men holstering guns outside every McDonalds and every store you can possibly imagine. I love my country and my flag and I hope you do to. My friend from Trinidad who severd this country for many years certainly does."

Feeling under siege from a supposed anti-American Democratic president he took the time to write the above message detailing his thoughts about the forward he received, which is below:

"I am not a biggoted person, yet I am both a Veteran and Patriotic Person.Can we allow this SON OF A BITCH become our President.

Please pass on to anyone leaning Obama's way... this is serious. VOTE CHARACTER.
All I can say is WOW!!!! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: THIS IS DISTURBING!!!!
From Sunday's Televised 'Meet the Press' Senator Obama was asked about his stance on the American Flag. Obama Explains National Anthem Stance Sun, 07 Sept. 2008 11:48:04 EST, General Bill Ginn' USAF (ret.) asked Obama to explain why he doesn't follow protocol when the National Anthem is played. The General also stated to the Senator that according to the United States Code, Title 36, Chapter 10, Sec. 171... During rendition of the national anthem when the flag is displayed, all present except those in uniform are expected to stand at attention facing the flag with the right hand over the heart. At the very least, 'Stand and Face It' Senator Obama Live on Sunday states, 'As I've said about the flag pin, I don't want to be perceived as taking sides, Obama said. 'There are a lot of people in the world to whom the American flag is a symbol of oppression. And the anthem itself conveys a war-like message. You know, the bombs bursting in air and all.
It should be swapped for something less parochial and less bellicose. I like the song 'I'd Like To Teach the World To Sing.' If that were our anthem, then I might salute it.'We should consider to reinvent our National Anthem as well as to redesign our Flag to better offer our enemies hope and love. My wife disrespects the Flag for many personal reasons. Together she and I have attended several flag burning ceremonies in the past, many years ago. She has her views and I have mine'. WHAAAAAAAT !!! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you heard it right. This could possibly be our next President"

This seemed suspicious so I did some research. After browsing many sites, such as Snopes.com, I found no evidence of this. In fact none of this ever took place on Meet the Press. Largely regarded as a hoax, partially because of the now famous Pledge of Allegiance where Obama did not place his hand over his heart, the email has circulated through many inboxes. Of course McCain supporters are going to believe this at first glance as man hears what they want to hear.

I replied to my friend with the following:

"While I respect you getting involved in the process of politics and encourage you to continue to do so, this forward is a complete fabrication. A lot of myths surround this man for reasons I can't understand, but a good source to check on information such as this has been Snopes.com, which fact checks various urban legends political and non. I don't mean to be belittling, just wanting to help you make an informed decision and I trust you'll make an honest vote when you cast your ballot. Here is the truth behind this email forward http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/stance.asp"

He thanked me for the message and replied to all he sent the email to with:

"I have been informed that my previous email was false and here is the information you should note. I didn't do enough research beforehand and here is a link to prove it. I'm as tired as everyone else of this political tennis grudge match that started a long time ago with many more contestants and that it never seems to end.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/stance.asp

**** (my buddy from Trinidad) is in fact a good friend. That hasn't changed and he was unaware of the email being false also."

I'm pretty happy that he's big enough to admit he's wrong and let all involved know the truth about the forward rather than give the thousand yard stare followed by a 'yeah but'. I was glad to hear that he's more interested in reasonable discourse than encouraging falsehoods.

I guess since conservatives always love to wave the flag of oppression that a lot seem to want to make up any lie to try and sway someone's vote. I would like to have a long discussion with the originator of this email.

Since most of my readers live in Washington state or the great country to the north I'm going to refrain from telling you how to vote. Since Obama will win this state's electorate I find it...oh hell. You best be voting Wiwille. A vote for Wiwille is vote for a hard drinking, boobie obsessed White House. That's exactly the kind of change we need in this country.

On another note I'm in my costume right now and it is kind of a lame one. Oh well. I do wish everyone a safe and Happy Halloween.



"Why can't I just eat my waffle?" - Barack Obama

Thursday Music

With the upcoming Bond film many discussions are centered around the mythos that is the British secret agent. More than 20 films have been released which surprises me at times when I think about it. I know a lot about the series, but I only like three of the films.

No none of the movies I like star Roger Moore or Pierce Brosnan. I have taste after all.

Bond girls are of course a big draw to the series. My personal favorites have been Tatiana, Vesper, and of course Honey Ryder. Everyone has the one that caught their eye though. Many mention Solitaire, Jill Masterson, and Holly Goodhead, but that's okay. They have a right to be wrong.

With all the talk about favorite films, actors, and Bond girls no one seems to mention their favorite music. This is mostly due to the fact that most, if not all, Bond opening songs suck hard. That being said some of the themes do work quite well.

Today dear readers I bring you one of my favorite Bond themes from 'On Her Majesty's Secret Service':



As a bonus I'll add in one of the greatest scenes from the series ever:



"There are women who take it to the wire. That's what they are looking for, the ultimate confrontation. They want a smack." - Sean Connery

Brought to you by the letter P

I was tagged by WIGSF. Apparently I'm supposed to list ten things that start with the letter P and write a brief description. In the spirit of my roommate Pablog I'll write it in verse. Yes poet Wiwille is in effect.

P is for pessimist, for what I've been known.
P is for passion, for boobies I've been shown.
P is for package, which mine could be larger.
P is for penguin, the stout bird who walks with a swagger.
P is for pathetic, like my Scarlett crush.
P is for parachuting, which is quite a rush.
P is for primal, my behavior is such.
P is for parchesee, a game at which I suck.
P is for paddling, a boat down the stream.
P is for poetry, my skills are quite lean.

Wow that sucked.

"A poet is, before anything else, a person who is passionately in love with language." - W. H. Auden

Masculīnus

This weekend was too short. Much to short. I took a nap this afternoon, which was clearly a mistake and now I'm suffering from insomnia. Tomorrow (today) will suck.

It was Corey's birthday and he asked for a very small celebration with only myself and Quoc. Saturday afternoon we met at my place and discussed important topics such as what's the coolest aspect of the Star Wars universe. We briefly went over the agenda then decided to pile into the car to do something unusual.

We went to shoot guns. Three grown men who are reasonably intelligent and relatively mentally stable thought it to be a great idea to ring in a new year for my best friend by decimating paper targets with high velocity projectiles.

We enter the range and I could sense a bit of nervousness sweep over the two of them. Remember Quoc used to be in the Army, but in all his time he never shot a handgun at any sort of target be it person or otherwise.

Having the most experience with guns, and that's saying very little, I take charge and rent us a Glock 9mm. I figured it would be a good overall caliber. Still powerful, but not much kick and not deafening.

They both agreed that I was to go first. Just like when the three of us went skydiving I was to take lead on the activity. I guess I make a good guinea pig.

I hang the target, load the magazine, move the paper to a reasonable distance, put the clip into the gun, release the chamber, and take aim. I was to take the first shot. I leaned forward and squint. My sights were bearing onto my intended. As my fingers squeezed the grip I remembered it has been years since I fired a weapon, but I knew what was to come. I squeezed the trigger.

The small kick of the gun startles me at first. The sound from the muzzle bursts enough that even with my ear protection I feel the noise assault my sense. The smell of gunpowder rises into my nostrils and I lower my gun a bit. I look down range and see where the bullet met up with the paper. I take aim again and fire some more.

I empty the magazine and take my target. I did okay.

Corey and Quoc both had a great time shooting and did very well. We went through 300 rounds of ammunition and improvement was apparent. I enjoyed my time as well. Contrary to what Hollywood may tell you shooting a gun is not a simple task for most and takes more skill than the unlearned would realize. After firing so many rounds, not to mention loading the clips over and over again, we felt a bit drained.

I started to think about why we enjoyed it so much. I guess people get really nervous around guns and rightly so. They're dangerous. They can hurt if not kill you. My generation knows little about weapons and that's possibly a good thing, but to actually learn how to use a handgun safely and correctly feels like overcoming a fear for many. I noticed the place was very packed with people to my surprise. They had a waiting list it was so busy. They all seemed like normal decent folk who enjoyed shooting as a sport and not the slack jawed simpletons that everyone associates with gun culture. Ages, races, and genders were diverse in the range. No I won't look down on them for enjoying a sport or cower that they may or may not shoot up a place.

Do I expect people do have a different opinion of me that I enjoyed shooting a handgun at a paper target? Oh most certainly.

During dinner we sat and discussed hitting a liquor store for later that night. Not familiar with the area we talked about how we would go about finding one. I looked at Corey.

"If only we had some device that could search a database to find information that we need," I said to him.

He pulled out his Iphone and commented how he was picking up my sarcasm. We spent quite some time trying to locate a liquor store through the small phone. Finally after much frustration at the use of it Corey asked the waitress where the nearest store was. She gave us simple directions that proved to be useful.

I guess we need to up our Iphone IQ.

After purchasing a few bottles we headed to go-kart racing. These are not your simple lawn mower vehicles. These are high speed electric karts that can go up to 35 mph. It was then we learned it was a really bad idea to eat before this activity as we all felt nauseous turning the corners at such a high rate of speed. It doesn't sound like you're going that fast, but sitting so low to the ground and in such a small vehicle it sure felt like you were flying.

After three races we were wiped. Steering actually took some muscle.

We headed down to Corey's where we ended the night with drinking, conversation, and video games. Next morning we had a greasy spoon breakfast and finally I went home to get some much needed rest.

Corey seemed to enjoy his birthday celebration and I was happy to be a part of it.

"Owning a handgun doesn't make you armed any more than owning a guitar makes you a musician." - Jeff Cooper

Thursday Music

Piano arrangements of movie themes are not normally my style, but I used to love some of them as a kid.

Stop laughing.

Anyways my folks had a record of Ferrante and Teicher which I used to listen to...

Stop laughing damnit.

The one song that really captured my interest is Exodus, which I....

Oh screw you. Here's your song.

"When you get married you forget about kissing other women." - Pat Boone

Amicitia

Neither a borrower or a lender be. This Shakespearean quote was often touted by my parents to me. They quite rightly instilled a belief into me that debt was another form of slavery and to use credit only in a few circumstances. I've largely carried those teachings into my adult life. I only have one credit card which I use in a situation that I deem dire. Otherwise if the money is not in my checking account I simply don't spend.

They also drilled into me how I should never lend money to friends. This was a lesson I failed at.

A friend, we'll call him Steve, called me months ago asking for money. He was out of work and was behind in his rent. Faced with an eviction notice he asked that I help him out. I told him I couldn't as I had a vehicle repair that was quite expensive and he should look to other means.

Let me give you a little background. Steve and I have been friends for years. He was that friend who no one else in my circle liked. He's not very intelligent nor cultured, but I found him to be a decent fellow who had some sense of charm. Steve was very handy and taught me a lot about mechanics as we tinkered around with cars while sipping beers. He enjoyed my company and I his, but there was a dark side to him.

Steve had addictions. No it wasn't to drugs or any other illicit substance. Steve could not keep his spending habits in control. He would rack up credit on many items he neither needed nor fit his income. Being working class and with little education Steve held odd jobs that couldn't supplement his want for material excess. A couple times I got calls from those check cashing places who said he put me down as a reference and he defaulted on his payments. I told them to never call me again as I know nothing about it.

He also had a more dangerous addiction. He couldn't stop dating emotionally troubled women. Throughout my years of knowing him he attracted the most psychotic females I've ever encountered. The mother of his daughter is so insane I could write a thesis on her alone. His involvement with these women not only effected his psyche, but his bank account and even encounters with the law.

Coming from a troubled childhood Steve seemed to do the best he could with the family he was given. Sadly he at times seemed to need therapy or an act of Christ for him to lead a more responsible life. I felt sorry for him at times and was often there to lend him a hand. I even went so far as to lie to a girlfriend for him when he was cheating on her, an experience I hope to never have again. Steve can best be described as a 30 something adolescent.

Whether it was giving a few bucks, being an ear for him when he was experiencing personal drama, or buying things for his daughter I was glad to assist and had a small amount of hope that his life would turn around. It got tough though.

After an encounter with his baby mama I found myself bailing him out of jail. As I stood in the bail bondsman office another 'customer' looked at me as I was hesitating to sign the paper work.

"You're doing the best thing a friend can ever do," he said to me. "You're a good friend."

I sighed, signed the paper, and handed my money to the bondsman.

I waited for Steve to be processed and released. I told him I would give him a ride home, but before hand I chewed his ass for trying to make it work with a woman who's prone to violence and all sorts of crazy behavior. He actually took it well and for once followed my advice and ended the relationship.

I hate to make it seem that the friendship was one sided. He was there to help me move, fix my car, and to just hang out over beers. He was loyal to me for what it was worth.

Fast forward to six months ago. He called me again pleading with me for help. His landlord gave him until the end of the week to come up with two months rent or he'd be out on the street. He had no where to go and him and his current girlfriend were without options. No one would give him a loan or a place to stay. His tug at my heart worked though. After much thought I told him I'd loan him the money and we agreed he'd pay me $150 a month until the debt was paid off. I asked him if he had a problem to at least call me and let me know.

I haven't heard from him since. Not a phone call. Nothing. His phone was disconnected. Worrying about him and his daughter's safety I went to his place to check up. When walking up to his door I heard voices coming from the apartment. I knock. It got quiet. I knock again. Not a sound. I knock a third time. No response at all.

I stood for about two minutes before I decided that kicking in the door would not be a good idea. I left.

I relayed all this to Corey. He said I might have done this knowing full well this would happen and I could exit the friendship guilt free. He may be right. Time will tell. I knew there were going to be problems, but nothing like this. I feel like a fool.

I don't care about the money. Even though two months rent at Seattle area rates are quite high I can afford the loss. I'm not broke by no means and my financial state has not suffered. I'm just pissed he didn't have the courtesy, or the balls, to face me if not for the sake of manners, but at least for our friendship.

Let this be a lesson to you all. If you want someone out of your life simply loan them money.

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend, And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry." - Lord Polonius, Hamlet

Leave him alone

So a man takes a walk in Canada, possibly sporting a tuque, with his dogs. His mission was to spot moose. Along the way he finds himself being rushed and attacked by a black bear. Fearful that he might...you know...die the man takes the best course of action and picks up a stick and bludgeoned the animal to death saving the life of himself and the canines.

Now that he's in recovery for numerous wounds the man from the north, who has more balls than any of you, is now under fire from animal rights activists for fatally injuring the bear. Many people have taken it upon themselves to call into radio shows and write local papers purporting to be the guy and change the story.

What even gets me more is that people are calling him harassing the guy about his method of self defense. One woman asked why he had to put down the bear and not simply run away from it.

Folks it's a friggin bear. Look I like animals that are cute as much as the next person, but if one attacks me I would defend myself from it. Guess what? So would you. Oh and you don't out run a full grown bear. They're fast. They have claws. They do not engage in the Care Bear stare. Sure they're skittish, but at times they'll kill you. I repeat they will kill you. If you were being attacked by a flesh eating predator you would not yell to someone nearby 'don't kill it. It has rights'.

I know all this cause I'm a scientist. This lab coat I'm wearing with the name tag Dr Wiwille proves it. Now back to my important research on boobies and the effect they have on mildly literate bloggers.

"There's what we expect bears to do and then there's what they do. Sometimes the two don't match." - Joe Clark



Bear-attack survivor faces new onslaught

Seattle women gasp in horror.

In my morning news browsing I found a lot of information regarding the election. Mostly uninteresting tales of Palin on SNL and Colin Powell's endorsement of Obama. Many other things have been happening across the globe, but I find it my duty to post about news that really matters to you. The story being about coffee and breasts size.

According to a new study in Sweden scientists claim that women who drink a lot of coffee experience shrinkage in their bosom. This news may come as a shock to the coffee capitol of the world. In good news though the same amount of consumption can reduce the risk of breast cancer. So what'll it be ladies? Do big boobs or lowering the chances of disease matter more? Assuming that cancer wasn't even a variable would you give up your beloved beverage for the sake of filling your push up bra?

The real question is why don't I see a reduction in my moobs?

"Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid." - Dave Barry

Study: Cups of java cut cup size

Sleep

I'm kinda drunk. Not really inebriated, but just mildly intoxicated. I rather enjoy this state as I don't have to worry about the brown bottle flu or an arrest for disorderly conduct. Still it brings out the silly in me which sometimes, okay all the time, lets forth too much information. This night was no exception.

I told my friends about an episode that happened this week that I found quite disturbing. They thought it to be rather humorous. Not sure whether the story was funny because of the alcohol they consumed I'll let you decided.

I sleep in boxers and a t-shirt. No pajamas or anything fancy. It's simple attire. A few mornings back though I had an interesting incident. My alarm clock went off and I felt a bit of a chill. It was then I realized I was not wearing any undershorts.

I was dumbfounded. I found them at the foot of my bed, but couldn't understand why this happened. I was sleeping alone and wasn't having one of 'those' dreams. Apparently I sleep pretty heavily as my boxers somehow liberated themselves. This concerns me.

"You can tell a lot about a person from his underwear." - Rachel Bilson

Thursday Music

My dear friends Andrea and Justin will be leaving the Seattle area and I have mixed opinions on it. Sure I'll miss their company, Andrea's moaning on various things that piss her off (she's cute when she's angry), and Justin's antics, but then again I won't have to help them move on a yearly basis anymore.

I've known Andrea for quite a few years now, even before she got her infamous....enhancements. We both were hired on as contractors for the company we work for at the same time. So there we sat in a training class and she annoyed the living piss out of me.

After training she would always IM me with irritating sunshine emoticons and such. Andrea also took great pleasure in mocking my stern look at various times. After seeing smiley face after smiley face appear on my messenger I finally just broke down and typed 'bite ass' back to her. She laughed and yelled 'love you too Erik.' From then a friendship ensued surprisingly.

Andrea's always been one to embrace her buttrock past. (Yes I said 'buttrock'. Deal with it Mattbear.) While most are embarrassed about the fact they listened to hair bands she takes pride that she once rocked out to 'musicians' that are probably solely responsible for the depletion of the ozone layer.

There will be one band that will remind me of Andrea though. As she takes her job out of state with her new husband I'll simply listen to one of her favorite bands and recall how big hair, fishnets, and gawdy makeup once ruled the day as well as her fashion sense.

"When we try to write a pop song, we go for standard pop arrangements, even to the point where we will go to the key change at the end, which is really cheesy." - Joe Elliott

I'm lazy

I wasn't tagged by Jlee, but I'm ripping off this meme anyways. I've been in a training class all week and am feeling a bit lazy. Here goes:

Rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. List six unspectacular things about you.
4. Tag six other bloggers by linking to them.

I don't consider much in my life spectacular, but I guess that may depend on the definition. I will list things that would surprise most who know me.

1. I've faked an orgasm on more than one occasion.
2. I'm really not into porn, well at least hardcore.
3. I'm not all that excited about Obama and I don't think McCain is the anti-christ, assistant anti-christ maybe.
4. I've never watched Risky Business.
5. I hate Tootsie Rolls.
6. It took me longer than I thought it would to write this.

I won't tag anyone. Do it if you want.

I really didn't follow any of the rules of the meme did I? I suck at these. I should go back to blogging about other useless crap. Your regularly scheduled Erik's Ramblings will return tomorrow.

"A good compromise, a good piece of legislation, is like a good sentence; or a good piece of music. Everybody can recognize it. They say, 'Huh. It works. It makes sense.'" - Barack Obama

I find your lack of faith disturbing

A few weeks ago Corey and I were hanging out at my place. I put in 'The Force Unleashed' in my Xbox 360 and told him to have fun. He played the fist level, which starts you as Darth Vader whooping all sorts of ass on Wookies. Basically you walk around all Vader like with force powers that allow you to pick up almost anything and throw it into oblivion.

Corey was having fun levitating Wookies and tossing them into trees, rocks, off cliffs, and sometimes into other furry creatures. Knocking down trees, pushing stones, and hacking up everything in his path seemed like a delight to him. He sat there as I explained my nerdgasom when I first played it and paused for a bit. He turned to look at me and said it's probably a good thing we don't have force powers.

Now that I think about it I wonder what kind of Jedi/Sith I would be. I mean I'd like to think that I would end poverty, cure cancer, and end the career of most politicians. Basically I'd be all nice and help people with all my force goodness.

Power corrupts though. There's the part of me that knows if I'm stuck in traffic all cars would spontaneously move over to the shoulder. If someone was wearing baggy pants that showed boxers the waistline would magically lift and tighten to a point where it would leave marks in their skin. If some jackass tires to convince me that Palin is a good VP candidate, well that's a choking.

I wonder if Scarlett has a weak mind? Oh the things I would.....

Yeah I'd be so evil. They'd call me Darth Wiwille.

"Your own need to be shines out of any dream or creation you imagine." - James Earl Jones

Lucy

Yesterday I went and saw Lucy's Legacy at the Pacific Science Center. It was a great exhibit displaying the history of Ethiopia and one of it's most treasured finds, the world's oldest living human fossil. I loved the history aspect of it as my conventional education regarding the region mostly consisted of the Italian occupation during WWII. Oh and there's that whole Queen of Sheba story which historians are still debating over whether she even existed or not.

Jeff once informed me that the Fun Forrest in the Seattle Center will be closing next spring so I took what will probably be my last ride of the roller coaster there. It was actually pretty fun. Given that it's all rickety and old made the experience that much more exciting. I'm going to miss it.

Afterwards Eli, Friend (yes that's his given name), and I had a nice meal at Cedars. After stuffing ourselves we walked around the U district. We passed some ads for Verizon written in some southeast Asian language. It got me to thinking, which is dangerous I know. Do Asian people have a more difficult time sending text messages? I mean does the language translate well into typing it in a small phone? Do older people of the culture complain about the bastardization of their beloved verse into phrases such as 'OMG U SUX'? These are serious questions that I believe only the wisest in the field of linguistics can answer.

I picked up part of my Halloween costume in some random store for my Boondock Saints outfit. No I don't have a 'twin' yet and may never, but since it got the most votes and I like the idea I decided I'm going to do it anyways. Last thing I need is a Celtic cross to make it complete.

"And I am reminded, on this holy day, of the sad story of Kitty Genovese. As you all may remember, a long time ago, almost thirty years ago, this poor soul cried out for help time and time again, but no person answered her calls. Though many saw, no one so much as called the police. They all just watched as Kitty was being stabbed to death in broad daylight. They watched as her assailant walked away. Now, we must all fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men" - The Boondock Saints

Thursday Music

Things aren't looking up for the McCain campaign. Polling numbers have shown that people have finally set aside their lust for Palin and cannot accept the idea of her taking second highest office in the land. His lackluster performance at the last two debates have given Obama a clear edge.

Yes times are tough for McCain. Recently Jackson Browne has filed a lawsuit against the campaign for using one of his songs without permission. Having not learned that lesson the Foo Fighters are upset about him using 'My Hero' without consulting them.

This is not the first time an artist was upset with a candidate using their songs. Reagan used Springsteen's 'Born in the USA', which I find amusing since it's really about the hellish life of a Vietnam veteran. I do wonder if Strom Thurmond ever strutted out to a campaign stop to Wagner.

So today I bring you the Foo Fighters 'My Hero', a song I'm not that thrilled with, but knowing what it's used for brings a whole new meaning to it.

"The saddest thing about this is that My Hero was written as a celebration of the common man and his extraordinary potential. To have it appropriated without our knowledge and used in a manner that perverts the original sentiment of the lyric just tarnishes the song." - David Grohl