Oct 11, 2014


God how sad it is that I have so much to say and so little time to say it. I need to drink more.

Sep 1, 2013

Wiwille can't see.

So for a couple of months now I've noticed I can't read fine print anymore. Seeing has never been a problem for me, well at least sober, but as old age creeps up and staring at a computer for more than half of my proletariat life my eyesight isn't functioning as well as it has. Reading labels, instructions (yes, sometimes I do indulge them) or anything that's written in a font that's smaller than your average reality show star's self esteem became a huge issue for the family. I was constantly calling upon my wife to assist with the simple task of literacy, and it grew tiresome right quick.

So I was in need of eye wear, but had no earthly idea where to begin. I've never shopped for eye wear before outside of sunglasses, and was in need of a good pair of glasses that will help me read, because without I might as well be trying to decipher brail. So I went to the only place I thought could service my eye needs, the dollar store.

Yes the dollar store, where you can get merchandise that will maybe last the trip home for low prices. The dollar store, because Wal-Mart is just to darn hard on the pocketbook. The dollar store, because nothing says savings like the self loathing you feel when you plop down a cheap card to get for dear old ma, because you forgot it was Mother's Day, and a bag of pretzels with a questionable expiration date and even more questionable quality control. The dollar store, where you can save money on soap and other hygienic goods that'll make you feel as clean as if you've dug your way out of a POW camp with your teeth.

So yeah, I do at times shop at the dollar store, because not all my friends and family deserve more than a 99 cent card, and they have good cheese puffs and other stuff that's not worth spending more than a dollar for. To my surprise they did have reading glasses, and not bad ones at that. So I got my eye wear, previously mentioned cheese puffs, and something else I can't recall and checked out.

I haven't even hit forty yet.

"My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle." - Henny Youngman

Aug 4, 2013

Long time no post

So yeah, it's been an age since I've last posted. Given now I have a job that requires my full attention as well as a family that requires it as well it's tough to take some time out to actually put pen to parchment. My narcissistic journey in the blogsphere has taken a backseat to any and all activities in my seemingly busy world of fatherhood, being a husband, worker, and homeowner.

Speaking of home ownership the wife and I purchased a new home, cheaper and bigger than the last one, but it hasn't been without hiccups. The miserable, pig fucking sprinkler system decided to not work after the initial inspection, and given I know fuck all about them as I've never owned nor operated one in all my years in the northwest, I had to call a person out. The repairs weren't cheap, but they weren't expensive either, and it works thankfully. In Texas, foundation issues are a plenty and it's critical to water regularly as the climate won't do it for you, unlike Washington state.

After the inspection of the home we found a few little problems and we asked the previous owners to fix it, which they decided wasn't worth their time and just lowered the price, which we though was reasonable. It was upon me to replace the toilet innards for all three porcelain units. I purchased new hardware at The Home Depot, only to find the damn flush valve cracked at the base when I installed it. So I take all three back to replace, and find the new set of hardware didn't come with a flush valve, so I go back to The Home Depot to purchase new flush valves, which were the wrong size, so I went back, returned, came home, swore a lot, and finally after I don't know how many days of this nonsense the toilets are in working order. Oh one had a leaky seal under one of the toilets, so needed a plumber, which thankfully was covered by the warranty.

And there's more, so much more home improvement crap I've done and still need to do it makes my head swim just thinking about it. But still it's a good home and it affords us a good community so I'll take the pain of every now and then breaking out the tools to try and perform simple maintenance, only to have it turn into a week long project.

In really sad news, we had to put down our dog Toby, who the wife's had for over a decade, due to a kidney disease. I haven't had a pet in many years so I took this pretty hard, but nothing compared to the wife, and we'll miss him incredibly, as well as our other dog Emma, who's shown signs of being bummed her little buddy isn't around any more.

That's all for now...

Jun 27, 2013

Conspiracy theorist responds!

A while back I wrote about Mike Adams and his lunatic theory thatthe massacre at the Aurora theater was orchestrated by the US government. It was a simple, direct post and my point was clear, there was no evidence in Mike's hypothesis of any wrongdoing by the US, or any government. With the knowledge we have at this time, it appears to be the work of one lone shooter, a madman who destroyed many lives with his evil act.

Of course, this theory isn't just shared by Adams alone, but I used him as an example of how batshit and tasteless it is to drag public employees', or anyone's', names and reputation through the mud in order to try and feel smart, or "having your eyes open" as conspiracy theorists would call it. What is not shocking though about the post is someone decided to respond with an absolute nuttiness. So here's the comment left by reader realeyesre​alizerealli​es, with my comments to such stupidity in red:

"yeah hahaha like there's no such thing as "False Flag Events" nor "State Sponsored Terrorism" I never claimed there are no such things as false flags or state sponsored terrorism, so why you brought that up is a mystery indeed as well as your unnecessary use of quotes. And it’s pretty despicable to think of them as laughing matters. hahaha Why do you type “hahaha" when nothing even remotely funny has occurred? yeah what a dope anyone is for KNOWING THOSE FACTS OF AMERICAN (ROMAN EMPIRE) HISTORY.. I'm not sure exactly what facts you're referring to, or why American and Roman history apply to this post criticizing Mike Adams' lack of evidence, since you conveniently left any and all analogies out, but if your knowledge of history is on par with composing messages in the English language, I'm willing to bet a thousand dollars that your history education is akin to a third graders, and that's being generous. As for former Scientologist Mike Adams' knowledge on matters historical, it's right on par with his knowledge of basic science, which is pitiful at best.
As for Adams..too bad he sold us all out. How? And who’s this “us” you are referring to?

P.S. Get A Real Life, The End. 
Ow wow. You told me to get a real life. That really stings. What life do you think I should be leading oh sagely one? I find it sad that I can't live in the awesome world you inhabit on a daily basis, so please let us know your secret to having a successful existence."

Realeyesre​alizerealli​es then took a pause in his barely literate message to compose another, which is just as on topic as the previous one. I guess when he said “The End” it meant only the beginning:

"seriously though, check this out:
"...the world’s dominant geopolitical powers were on the brink of engaging the last and most dangerous stage of their geopolitical agenda. In the world of chess the Endgame refers to the moves that end the game. 
Still haven't a clue what this has to do with Mike Adams and his lack of evidence to support his inane, tasteless theory, and neither do you. It's interesting how conspiracy theorists never seem to be able to comprehend even the simplest things, nor can stay on topic for more than 30 seconds in any discussion. When they know they're argument is collapsing, they simply move on to baffle people even further.

And what is the game that the world’s dominant powers are playing? We live in a world where civilization as we’ve known it for the last 5000 years has been defined by the quest for empire. It’s a ruthless and savage quest played by the world’s most powerful economic and political entities to acquire ever greater levels of economic and political power. So you mean governments have largely created economic and political empires for most of human history?
Wow, what a shocking revelation to anyone in fifth grade social studies! You're so smart to quote this site, as it saves you the trouble of having to think for yourself. Really you're quite efficient at spreading nonsense.

The imperial process can only work by conning the subject class, those outside the ruling class, into supporting its military adventures. The ruling class gains support for their military agendas by manufacturing adversaries who are accused of posing an existential threat. Adversaries that must be dealt with pre-emptively according to the doctrine of World’s dominant emperium also known as the European-American-Israeli alliance. I’ll refer to this alliance as the TRIAD. 
And this is supposed to roll into the Aurora tragedy how? Have you, or the writers of this ridiculous site, kept up with European - Israeli relations in the past, oh I don't know, 27+ years? Israel and Europe aren't exactly on good terms, so this Triad, as the ill person who coined it, is not going so swimmingly, probably because it doesn't exist. Hell why don't they throw in Australia in this made up alliance?

Readers, don't go to this link, it sucks.

while there is truth in many of mike adams articles, it is not. 
What is not? And by the way, there is little to no truth in Mike Adams articles. He's so incompetent and so dedicated to promoting misinformation that if he wrote a post about how he believed the world is round I'd immediately be skeptical."

Realeyesre​alizerealli​es, who I'm betting thinks they're very clever in coming up with that dumb username, goes on to say:

"oh..gotta finish my thought on Adams No you really don’t. I mean you did type "The End", which one would logically assume this tripe isn't necessary nor warranted...while there is some truth in his articles As stated before, there isn't, and any rational human being who reads his stuff will confirm, he's also imo a sensationalist We agree there, although that can be said for any and all conspiracy theorists; and i am not the only person who believes he is a part of the faction "poking the american people with a stick" hoping to get a violent reaction all the while "warning" everyone to protest in a non-violent way, that is obvious...especially after teaming up with the likes of Alex Jones who is a fear mongerer and sensationalist. If you're all down on Mike Adams, then what exactly is your point? Actually don't answer that, as you've spent too much time already trying to make a point that doesn't exist. Aren't all conspiracy theorists posing as smarter than thou preachers of what they nonsensically refer to as truth, fear mongers? They keep saying they’re in the business of waking people up, but really it’s to incite fear of something, real or imagined (government, vaccines, GMOs, lizard people, Illuminati, etc.) Thank you for entertaining us with your nonsense."

"How much you wanna bet this guy hates Kinder Eggs too?" - WIGSF

Jun 26, 2013

My own theme song

The wife and I are currently residing with my mother in-law while our new house is still being occupied by the former owners. I get to watch a lot of bad television, but I'm happy to do it to spend time with them. When I view horrible shows I try to make the experience fun, like laughing at the douchebags or creating my own theme songs. Since they're fans of the high brow show The Bachelorette, last night, while watching it, I created my own theme song (sung to the tune of the Muppet Show theme):

It's time to view the douchebags,
It's time to watch them fight.
It's time for attention whoring on The Bachlorette tonight.

It's time for eating disorders.
It's time for not being right.
It's time for attention whoring on The Bachlorette tonight.

Why do they always audition?
And sell the souls for scrap?
It's like some kind of torture.
To watch this kind of crap.

It's time to exploit emotions.
It's time to dumb down right.
It's time for attention whoring.
Why are you attention whoring?

It's time for attention whoring on the least sensational, inexcusable, inexplicable, whorentational.
This is what we call The Bachlorette!

"I'm probably the only member of the 'Bachelor' cast without an agent!" - Jake Pavelka

Jun 17, 2013

Stuff Texans like part 4

Now there's hardly an individual you'll find who doesn't care for fried chicken, or any kind of chicken for that matter, but in Texas, the hen dipped in a fryer is not just a food, it's a religion. In the Northwest, we had maybe a few chicken fast food restaurants, such as KFC, one Popeyes, and I'm sure countless small mom and pop places, such as the highly overrated, and favorite of Oprah (yes that Oprah) Ezell's.

In Texas, we have all kinds of restaurants that specialize in cooking the fat bird, such as Chick-fil-A, Church's Chicken, Chicken Express, the previously mentioned KFC and Popeye's, Raisin Cane's (which has delicious sauce), Babe's (my favorite), and many others. Now everyone has their favorite restaurant, but honestly, besides the sauce, I don't find much difference in the frying. It's all artery clogging nightmare of fowl, but it's so tasty many will gladly put their health on hold to grab a seasoned bite.

What differentiates the chains is the spices and sauce, and while some are more appealing than others, the brand loyalty some of their customers have is akin to European nationalism. Now some, such as Babe's, offers a great atmosphere and other delicious food to those who grow tired of taking years off their heart (and they serve RC cola instead of Coke or Pepsi interestingly enough). Still there's little substitute for fried chicken, something Texas takes regional pride in, and no yankee establishment can live up to.

"The food in Europe is pretty disappointing. I like fried chicken. But other than that Europe is great." - Donnie Wahlberg