Oct 29, 2009
This morning I came into work listening to Social Distortion's cover of 'Ring of Fire'. While I love Johnny Cash I have to admit that he wasn't the best artist. Sure his music is considered iconic, but really the playing and singing were less than perfect. Not that quality really matters in music anymore, but I appreciate the work of the man in black and always will.
I welcome any and all covers though. If I hate them then I can simply chose not to listen to them, or I could mail the band a box of the contents of yesterday's Mongolian Grill dinner I had consumed.
So today dear readers I bring you Social Distortions 'Ring of Fire':
"When I record somebody else's song, I have to make it my own or it doesn't feel right. I'll say to myself, I wrote this and he doesn't know it!" - Johnny Cash
Oct 28, 2009
To give you a little background Samuel Hahnemann was a German doctor who was trying to find a way to provide medicine to poor people as an alternative to the often then used methods of bloodletting. He devised a theory that diluting medicine to a level to where the medicinal properties are non-existent, then use some form of striking method, usually shaking, would suddenly render the substance effective having absorbed material and spirtual properties. While this has no medicinal value at all beyond a placebo effect the poor embraced it and Homeopathy was born.
Now you don't need a strong background in chemistry to see how nonsensical, and possibly dangerous, this is. Again it's basically water, but to abandon traditional science in favor of drinking Aquafina can lead to disastrous results. While Hahnemann is credited with curing the insane and various other wild claims, some of which he was correct about if only partially, the scientific community as a whole scoffs at such practices. Of course most practitioners in homeopathy will tell you it's a conspiracy by the pharmaceutical industry.
The girl was none too pleased about my assessment of alternative medicines. I actually felt kind of bad telling her my opinion, even though I'm firm in my belief. It was like I destroyed someone's faith. No one likes being told they've been lied to. That being said she was still adamant about her belief in the practice and is probably still to this day.
So in honor of Mattbear, who needs to blog more, I'm going to post about his favorite subject, crazy people. In the video below you'll see a renowned homeopath lecturing on physics and alternative medicine. Be warned dear readers for your head will hurt.
"I do not expect that homeopathy will ever be established as a legitimate form of treatment, but I do expect that it will continue to be popular." - James Randi
Oct 27, 2009
Protect Marriage Washington has been leading the fight against gay marriage in our state. Their group has rallied to defend themselves as what they see as an assault on their values. On their website yesterday they decided to mislead their followers in ways so stupid even Birthers were probably taken aback. They launched a commercial citing some statistics that when 'Scandinavia' legalized homosexual unions in 2004 drug use and crime escalated to incredible levels that very year.
Note they ever cite which country in Scandinavia they are referring to, probably because they think it's its own sovereign nation. I thought Palin was bad for not recognizing Africa as being a continent. Regardless no country in the region legalized gay marriage in 2004 and no sources are cited regarding the use of illegal substances or crime as a whole for that matter in the area. Today they've thankfully took down the information and video from their website, but of course no retraction has been published as of yet. Still the site is littered with crazy ramblings from their rallies and horrid use of grammar.
The rest of the content given on the site is equally painful, but they no longer bother with things called facts. Probably a smart move on their part since it's not their forte. I've made my personal views on gay marriage clear already, so there's no use in retyping it, but seriously I'm asking all people who are on the fence about this to really take a good look at the organizations backing both sides of the debate. See which one you can honestly see yourself attributed to morally and intellectually. I think the choice will be clear where you'll mark the ballot come November.
I don't need my marriage, or lack thereof, protected by the government nor some church acting with overwhelming zealotry. In fact I sometimes wish both parties would stay out of the institution. Still with all that's going on in this state with our budget crisis you'd think we'd be able to pass this effectively and move on to issues that are more pressing, but no some group of jackasses wants you to think of the poor little children that may be affected by gay unions. Sigh.
"Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the "will of the people" goes out the window." - Bill Maher
Oct 25, 2009
I truly believe that good cannot exist without evil. Given that I wonder how much I appreciate all that nature has to offer us. Can I truly absorb how beautiful this is? Would it be more magical say if I were an ancient warrior stepping off the field of a terrible battle? Can I know beauty if I've never experience the true horrors this world has to offer?
Philosophers have been in debate about this for centuries, but it's doubtful man can ever percieve other's perceptions in this matter correctly. All one can do is appreciate the little patch of soil they inhabit to the best of their ability.
I wonder how society would function if people stopped being such whiny jackasses and stopped and...eh who am I kidding.
"A morning-glory at my window satisfies me more than the metaphysics of books." - Walt Whitman
Oct 22, 2009
Besides the accent the resemblance is uncanny. She found a picture of Reese from some movie where she has the same pose as my friend's profile pic on Facebook. A double take. It was taken.
Ms. Witherspoon is responsible for me going against my better judgement and watching any and all movies she's in for obvious reasons. Some are quite good (Walk the Line, Freeway) and others not so much (Legally Blonde part 2, Vanity Fair).
So today dear readers I give you Reese singing in the style of June Carter, which I find way hot for reasons I can't explain:
"Well I always wanted to be Dolly Parton when I was a little girl. I was obsessed with her." - Reese Witherspoon
Oct 21, 2009
One writer for The Guardian has taken it upon himself to take issue with the mostly unknown sexuality of a lot of well known black people and how it's being kept under wraps. The article starts off poorly as lists off many famous blacks who happen to be gay, lesbian, or bi-sexual, but then he claims famous diver Greg Louganis as being black (he was actually Samoan/Swedish).
The writer goes on to take the claim that Malcolm X was once into guys and worked in the sex industry in his younger years before his conversion to the Nation of Islam. Citing a biography that's often viewed as the fairest analysis of the activist's life, he believes the interviews in the book are solid evidence of Mr X's bi-sexuality.
Now besides the obvious errors this journalist cites let's get to the real problem, who cares? The author does have a point that citing someone's sexuality when they're a public figure may give much needed courage to the gay community, but is Black History Month the appropriate context for debate on someone's sexuality? Should it matter who they sleep with when celebrating their accomplishments? And if Malcolm X was indeed bi-sexual would it be a good idea to advertise that fact given that he later joined an organization that is known for shunning homosexuality? Wouldn't that make him the Larry Craig of black activists? Am I just blowing this out my ass?
"It is now time for Black History Month to speak the truth. Malcolm X was bisexual. Get over it." - Peter Tatchell
Malcolm X was bisexual. Get over it
Oct 20, 2009
Actually I'm not sure if that's a bad thing or not.
Businesses accommodate their consumers and employees by giving them allotted parking spaces that suit various needs. By law they must give a specific amount of disabled parking depending on the size of the lot. A grocery store I frequent even gives a spot for pregnant women so they don't have to trek far while carrying their future spawn. Malls and amusement parks have gone so far as to allow families to have the best parking spaces so the little ones don't have to walk far and get any exercise.
Taking a disabled parking space when you have working limbs is often seen as a no-no of the highest order. People will berate you, cops will fine you, and you'll be perceived to be in a league reserved for people who drive slow in the left lane.
Today I was in the bathroom at work and the small stall was occupied. I enter the large stall normally reserved for people who need the assistance of a large metal bar to sit and stand. While it's not specifically marked for the disabled it's often assumed that it's for the needy. For whatever reason as I sat and gave the bathroom my gift of petal scented poop I imagined a gang of men waiting outside ready to beat me with crutches while tossing colostomy bags in my direction.
"Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in." - Rita Rudner
Oct 18, 2009
Nothing makes you feel older than watching kids grow up or seeing old picture of you. My friend Heather decided it would be a great idea to post some shots of me and some friends back in high school on Facebook. It was great taking a trip down memory lane to simpler times, but looking at myself twenty years ago...
So let's play a little game here on One Bad Apple. The mission is to find your author Wiwille in the photo of this sausage fest below. Not even my best friend could point me out.
"Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age." - Victor Hugo
Oct 17, 2009
As I've learned, sometimes painfully, there's no hate like Internet hate. Web users are quick to judge, ridicule, and even in some cases threaten those they scorn.
Now Meghan McCain has come under fire for doing the unthinkable. She posted a picture of herself holding a book on Twitter. Oh she also sported massive cleavage as she's gifted in such areas. This created a bit of a firestorm with her critics, who seemed to be less than impressed with her intellect anyways. Being a Republican and the daughter of someone who ran an embarrassing Presidential campaign she used to some scrutiny.
Many called her unsavory names regarding the picture and the Bloggette took it personally. She even threatened (gasp) to stop Twittering.
Now I know some who don't understand my massive crush on John's daughter. We don't often share the same politics nor does sometime she present herself well when discussing them, but she's far better versed than most I know who claim to have a firm grasp on the world body politic. Okay so Meghan may not be Eleanor Roosevelt, but damn....
"To be honest, I don’t feel that I have anything to feel ashamed of. I’ve always embraced my curves and will continue to do so." - Meghan McCain
Don't Call Me a Slut
Oct 14, 2009
They went so far as to confiscate all my albums and punish me whatever they felt appropriate. Being rebellious and considering their views on the matter to be ridiculous at best I hid all my albums around my room or at friend's homes and would listen while they weren't around.
Believing that I was dumb enough to do exactly what was projected on television or heard on the radio my choices were limited. What's funny is that they'd let me listen to stuff like this:
"If you play more than two chords, you're showing off." - Woody Guthrie
"IT'S A TRAP," came blaring over my cell phone. We both fell silent as she pondered Admiral Ackbar's frightened announcement to the Rebel fleet. Of course that's set as my text message alert. Finally we both laughed as we tallied up our 'dork points'. I was in the lead. Being a winner and a loser I thought it best to switch my phone to vibrate.
After taking pictures of the various exhibits we both take our seats on the floor awaiting the symphony to strike up the music. We noticed the high production values already as the stage was set. Then the music started with Fox's opening theme. The curtain fell and exposed the musicians who then broke out the Star Wars main theme. The crowd erupted into applause, hooting and hollering as the large HD screen projected a montage sequence of all six films.
Anthony Daniels (C-3PO) was introduced by a voice over by James Earl Jones himself imitating the character that made his voice famous. Daniels took the stage giving a short narration of the story before each sequence. They conductor would raise his baton and we sat and watched a story of the Star Wars universe. We laughed when appropriate, groaned when Leia kissed Luke, got mad when Greedo shot first, and cheered whenever Darth Vader took the screen.
At intermission I asked my friend what she thought. Her face said it all. Excited as I was about how this exceeded our expectations she couldn't control the seven year old inside of her. Even though she was one year old when Return of the Jedi was released she was amazed by the music as well as the visuals.
"Hmm," she said shortly before the symphony took the stage again. "Now we get to the real trilogy." She rules.
"But," I countered. "Maybe they'll show the Clone Wars, or the Star Wars Holiday Special."
"The Star Wars Holiday Special? I've never seen it."
"Do yourself a favor and don't. I'm sorry I even brought it up."
"I want to see The Ewok Adventures." Oh my she remembers those Ewok television specials from back in the day. I told her my sister and I used to watch them constantly when we were little as our parents recorded them for us. Years later I ended up buying them on DVD for her so she and my nephews could enjoy them. Yeah my friend likes the cuddly Wicket. No fan is perfect.
Anthony Daniels came on stage again and introduced the next segment. After another round of songs the show sadly ended and all took a bow to a packed house that was on their feet. A guy in the audience was dressed in Jedi robes with cloth decorated with the American flag. He got some time on the large screen to the amusement of the audience. After exiting the stage Daniels came back and announced an encore. The symphony broke out the Imperial March to an amused and excited crowd.
As we left the arena I pondered what it was I enjoyed about the show so much. Granted it was a quality show that even people who never were a fan of Star Wars would agree, but there was something different. Finally it hit me and I turned to my friend as we strolled through the rain.
"It did what three prequels failed to do. It made me feel like I was eight years old again."
"I thought Star Wars was too wacky for the general public." - George Lucas
Oct 12, 2009
It sucks being a man sometimes. Yes I know you women have the whole child birth thing and some of you sleep with hair guys. I have no doubt that it's harder for you than it is men. I feel for your plight against sexism, clothing sizes, and your inability to view the Twilight phenomenon as donkey crap.
Now that that's out of the way.
Men can and often do get hard at a moment's notice. For reasons unbeknownst to us we'll wake up stiff and there's little we can do about it except imagine Jabba the Hutt giving Bea Arthur a sponge bath. If that fails we display skills normally reserved for a Cirque De Sole acrobat when using the restroom in the early hours. Sadly spontaneous wood doesn't happen to us only when we roll out of bed.
When I was but a wee teen it took nothing more than a change in the wind to be at half mast. I could never understand why that was the case, but it lead to many an embarrassing incident. I take some comfort in the fact that I never went through what one poor classmate did. Still there were times I wouldn't go to the blackboard, or stand at all for that matter. Dates consisted of careful placement of items across the lap. School dances were...well...
I was under the mistaken impression that these kind of incidents wouldn't happen when I got older. Anyways to the lady at Safeway, no it was not you that was the cause of whatever it was you saw. In fact you didn't see anything. Move along and fill your cart with heaping amounts of Captain Crunch and be happy.
"I probably have become more infamous from two misdemeanors than probably anyone I could think of." - Paul Reubens
Oct 11, 2009
"Oh yeah," I responded. I already knew this. Growing up near Philly she definitely had some east coast sensibilities when it came to vocalizing her thoughts. We were on our fourth pint and her lips became more loose with each sip.
"I don't get how PC you guys are out here. Everyone is so concerned with other's feelings. If people are offended it's their problem. I'm just making humour."
She had a point. Seattle is known for being very tolerant and accepting, but the truth is it's hardly a place that embraces ideas outside the norm of liberal sensibilities. Occupying a small place in the Puget Sound I've learned one thing. Self righteousness is in no way exclusive to conservatives as I once mistakenly thought.
But what has become of us north westerners? Are we softer than our liberal east coast brethren? Have we not learned the lessons of George Carlin or Lenny Bruce? We're known for our passive/aggressive mentality, but do we fear confrontation or value others' opinions that much? On the flip side do we as Seatllites really have true compassion for those who may be hurt by words, even though our minority population is slimmer than most urban areas?
I sat with my roommate later and we discussed the issue. It was refreshing, if not as fun, to talk with an actual minority about language without alcohol clouding my brain. He understands that when I tell him he's a traitor to his race when he displays a trait that breaks all stereotypes of Mexicans that I do it in good humor. I'm really making fun of the white trash culture I grew up in where many harbored such ridiculous thoughts. The banter is fun and he is comfortable enough in his heritage to understand context is key.
I recognize that not all are like my roommate, but sometimes I'm prone to forget and put my foot in my mouth. I think I'll always be that way for reasons that may include stubbornness.
"I've always thought that the stereotype of the dirty old man is really the creation of a dirty young man who wants the field to himself." - Hugh Downs
Oct 8, 2009
Years ago I spent about a week and a half in Germany and every time I got the opportunity to talk to an english speaking German I would ask them why David Hasselhoff was so huge in Duetschland. They would claim it's Baywatch, but after further inquiry they would just shake their head and resign the fact that their country men really enjoyed that amount of suckage.
Still I was grateful to hear some response even if it didn't get me any closer to solving the mystery of the Knight Rider star's appeal. I thanked them for KMFDM, but oddly no one knew what I was talking about. Apparently that German band is only big here. Makes sense considering that the record label that brought us the angry Euro-trash industrial band is based in Chicago.
Are Australians similar? Do they latch on to a phenomenon created by a talentless Yank which largely eluded us? I mean Benny Hill was reportedly a flop in Great Britain, which astounds me. Is Carrot Top huge over there? Do they love their local bands like AC/DC or are they more popular off shore?
I know one thing though. I will thank each and every Australian, drunk or no, for the pleasure that has been bestowed upon us with the greatness that is Icehouse's 'Electric Blue'.
"God bless America. God save the Queen. God defend New Zealand and thank Christ for Australia." - Russell Crowe
Oct 7, 2009
Depending on who you ask this resolution, which was a comprise between Canada and Egypt, is of little consequence other than sending nations a message that their citizens and media outlets should respect race and religion. All countries are asked to have private entities censor themselves when it comes to speech that may stereotype someone based on skin color and ideology. In addition it is expected that they assign what they feel is appropriate checks and balances on news and entertainment that may offend someone.
Again this is fairly harmless as it's the UN and enforcement of their own resolutions is all but nill, but the precedence it sets can be cause for alarm. While I'm all for people using free speech responsibly I'm wary of any kind of enforcement of protecting the sensibilities of the delicate, especially when it comes to religion. While I'm sure a lot of this is due to people who can't live in civilized society and choose to respond violently when their precious God has been mocked, there's still no excusing any idea of censorship. If I want to berate L. Ron Hubbard, Joseph Smith, or even the church of the Aryan nation I should and will do so without fear of reprisal.
Yes in a perfect world we should respect religion, but I'll be damned if I give mine if the ideology doesn't earn it. My God, or lack thereof, is fair game. That's the price of free expression and one I'm willing to pay.
My high horse. I ride it.
"The United States is very pleased to present this joint project with Egypt. This initiative is a manifestation of the Obama administration's commitment to multilateral engagement throughout the United Nations and of our genuine desire to seek and build cooperation based upon mutual interest and mutual respect in pursuit of our shared common principles of tolerance and the dignity of all human beings." - Douglas Griffiths
Oct 6, 2009
5. Do you play Sudoku? A friend tried to teach me how to play the other night. It didn't go well.
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive? Sure. How long would I survive? Well depends. I was a boy scout and I know how to properly crap in the woods.
10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew she was married, would you go for it? If it was Scarlett I say hell yes.
12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you? Depends on the belief and if she demanded that I partake in hers. I don't see myself converting to Scientology.
13. Do you like to pursue or be pursued? I like the thrill of the hunt.
17. Do you know how to shoot a gun? I do.
18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed? Wallet, phone, keys.
19. How often do you read books? I read when I poop, so every day.
20. Do you think more about the past, present or future? The future and the upcoming apocalypse.
21. What is your favorite children’s book? The Lorax.
22. What color are your eyes? Brown.
23. How tall are you? 5'10
24. Where is your dream house located? Italy.
25. Do you have a secret fetish? It's a secret.
26. Have you tried sushi? Many times.
28. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?About a month ago.
30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today? Work.
31. What was your favorite job? Studio photographer.
33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat? Sleep.
34. Do you look like your mom or dad? I look a lot like my Dad, but it's funny that I share no blood with him.
35. How long does it take you in the shower? Depends on what exactly I'm doing in there.
37. What movie do you want to see right now? Once.
39. What did you do for New Year’s? Sat at a dive bar and was annoyed with some random old drunk who called himself the pillar of the community.
45. What’s the last letter of your middle name? S
46. Do you like your middle name? Sure.
47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night? Anywhere from 5-8
48. Do you like care bears? Not a fan.
49. What do you buy at the movies? Reese's Pieces and Sprite.
50. Do you know how to play poker? Not well.
52. What do you wear to sleep? Boxers and tshirt.
53. Anything big ever happen in your hometown? Quiet Riot once played there. That's how exciting that bustling metropolis got.
55. Is your tongue pierced? Never even considered it.
56. Ever meet anyone you met on myspace? I've met bloggers, but never anyone random on MySpace. I have with some Facebook folks though.
57. Do you read myspace bulletins? Why would anyone want to read another meme...oh wait..
59. Ever been to L.A.? A few times.
60. Did you eat a cookie today? I should.
61. Do you use cuss words in other languages? Sometimes.
63. Do you hate chocolate? Don't hate it, but not much of a fan. Actually I love white chocolate.
66. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy? No, but you do if you want to see your bank account disappear.
69. What is your favorite time of day? Miller time.
Oct 4, 2009
A friend, who asks that she doesn't be named on this blog, asked Corey and I what annoys us most about women. Corey shot his hand up and started mimicking a motor mouth.
"Talking," he said. "Girls that won't shut up."
The girls then looked at me and asked what mine was. I paused for a bit unsure of how to word what I was thinking. The list was so long it was hard to come up with just one, but it finally came to me.
"Drama," I proclaimed. "Girls that seem to have an almost instinctive need for drama. I'm talking those who will look for it when it doesn't exist. Maybe it's me and I just bring out the worst in females, but that and women who believe that they deserve everything and nothing will be good enough for them drive me nuts."
Corey then went on about a girl he once dated and how she fit that exact description. I know exactly what he's talking about as I've had a few. The women in the room looked at each other and nodded their heads. What they were thinking is anyone's guess. Perhaps we guys are the batty ones for not accepting our fate and learning to just try and deal. We're guys though. We don't change.
"No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree." - W. C. Fields
Oct 1, 2009
There are those guilty pleasures which skirt the line of quality. We can't help but listen to some bands and wonder if they'll become the new Limp Biskit or Creed. Actually for those of you who still insist on listening to Nickleback, for whatever reason, you can be sure that someday you'll be just as ashamed of subjecting yourself to their bag of suck as you were when you cleaned out your closet and found your C&C Music Factory album.
Still I'm surprised that some bands are considered by many to be tools. I missed the memo that said you must hate the already mentioned Creed. Not that I was ever a big fan, but damn there was far worse music out there. I can't wrap my head around the fact that the masses haven't risen up and cried no to the world's loudest boy band Lynkin Park yet, but I digress....
I'll probably hate myself for listening to this at some point:
"I think everything worked out the way it was supposed to. Mark's happier. I'm sober. There are still phone calls to be made, people I need to say something to. But everyone from Creed who I've offended or hurt, I ask for their forgiveness." - Scott Stapp