Apr 30, 2008

My reincarnation

My grandmother believes in reincarnation. Even though she has little to no evidence she will swear to you that it's as real as the monitor you're now staring at instead of doing work. She tried to convince me that I was once a gladiator, probably because I took an avid interest in ancient Roman history when I was young.

Still she meant well and tried to instill a value system in me that if one leads a good life today they'll be rewarded in the next. Simpleton philosophy is attractive to the naive and sometimes insecure and there's no convincing her to think otherwise. Her unhappiness in this existence makes her cling to the belief that after she passes on she'll someday enjoy life. I guess it's easier than changing your circumstances.

I want to come back as a cat and would do the below as much as humanly possible.

"Whether or not we believe in survival of consciousness after death, reincarnation, and karma, it has very serious implications for our behavior." - Stanislav Grof

Wiwille's movie reviews part 46

Romantic comedies have a difficult time being original and the reasons are obvious. Boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, boy messes up, boy wins back her affection, wash, rinse, repeat. Our affection for the genre is unmistakable though as looking at romance from a third party perspective can be quite comical.

'Down with Love' pays tribute to the films of yester year, namely the goofy comedies starring Rock Hudson and Doris Day. Set it in the mid 60s the movie stars Renee Zellwegger as an author with a feminist itch. She writes a book about sexual politics, titled after the film, and how women should abandon the concepts of love for the sake of advancing the gender.

Ewan McGregor plays a famous reporter who's not only known for his writing ability, but his sexual exploits as well. He's assigned to do a story on Zellwegger's new hit novel, but keeps rescheduling the interview because of he's too busy cavorting with women.

After he's caught by the newly famous author McGregor goes undercover to win her affection and attempt to expose her as a fraud. A comedy of errors ensue and minus a small twist the plot moves along with the same formula you're comfortable with.

While this spoof makes tributes to films that my generation never saw I love this movie. It's over the top set designs and costumes, cute story, and charming performances by reliable actors made me go and buy it. It helps that I'm familiar with the in jokes made about stories created over forty years ago, but still for those who aren't versed in classic comedies may find this enjoyable. I'd recommend it to most, well cept for Mattbear.

Thanks to Foster Communications for submitting this. Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see it soon on Erik's Ramblings. Rules are posted here.

"No better or worse than the movies that inspired it, but that is a compliment, I think." - Roger Ebert

Apr 29, 2008

Wiwille's movie reviews part 45

The stoner comedy genre is one packed with films that either hit or miss. Sadly the joke of the slacker stoner with a hidden talent who falls in love with the beautiful, but usually miscast sweet natured woman gets old really quick. While there are those stories that somehow rise above the formula such as Dazed and Confused usually the audience is subject to the same tired old humour.

Grandma's Boy has an interesting premise though. Alex is mid thirties game tester who's been kicked out of his apartment and takes residence with his grandma and her two roommates. When he's not testing a video game that was designed by an eccentric, but incredibly weird developer he's creating his own game that he hopes will one day see the market.

Enter the love interest Samantha who's a program manager hired to ensure the latest video game gets released on time. Pretty and with a sharp wit, Samantha easily fits in with the slacker crowd of video game enthusiasts. Instead of her being put off by their antics and lack of social graces she finds them sweet and somewhat charming.

Grandma's Boy does little to enhance the genre, but doesn't really bring it to any new lows. The plot is as thin as one can write and the jokes can be funny, but too much of them fall flat. The one liners may give you a chuckle, but a lot of the staged gags feel too American Pie-ish. Still the characters are sweet natured and highly like able, especially the old folk. Critics have not been kind to this film, but it's not as terrible as one makes out. It's just not as funny as a comedy should be. If you smoke a lot of pot or are involved in the gaming industry in any way I can recommend this, but otherwise I think you're better off watching Half Baked.

Thanks to Mizzle for submitting this. Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see it soon on Erik's Ramblings. Rules are posted here.

"The kind of laid-back goofball comedy custom-designed to chase away any self-respecting respectable person and play to the good-natured slackers out there in the dark. If you're among the latter, you've found a home. If you're not, you have been warned." - Gene Seymour

Apr 28, 2008

Illing meme.

I'm not feeling all that well today so I'll do a meme that's been floating around my blogroll.

My roommate and I once: Worked at the same place. Still do actually.

Never in my life have I: had sex with a man.

High school was: when I learned to drink.

When I am nervous I: I get quiet.

My hair is: pretty messy right now.

When I was 5: I wanted to be Superman and fight with the armies of Michael the Arc Angel. I was a strange child. I also danced to Fiddler on the Roof.

By this time next year: I'll be touring the country on a motorcycle.

I have a hard time understanding: Hillary supporters.

You know I like you if: I actually tell you how I'm feeling.

My ideal breakfast is: Eggs Benedict.

If you visit my hometown: you will hate the smell from the mills.

If you spend the night at my house: you'll drink good beer and you'll play a board game.

My favorite blonde is: Scarlette, oh you knew that.

My favorite brunette is: Salma Hayek

The animal I would like to see flying is: a dog of any breed. It would be funny to see them chase their tail in mid-air.

I shouldn’t: fart in public.

Last night I: cried myself sick.

If I could have any car it would be: .....to hell with a car. I'd have a Harley Fatboy.

I’ve been told I look like: Shane West, Ewan McGregor, and even Tobey Maguire. None of which I get.

"Sexy, to me, doesn't have anything to do with beautiful." - Shane West

Apr 27, 2008

They're probably drinking coffee and smoking big cigars

"You ready to get drunk tonight?" Ron asked in a giddy fashion.

"I believe so," I answered.

"You want to do some karaoke?"

"Do I have a choice?"

".......No," he answered while laughing.

I appreciated his honesty.

I've written about Ron before, a guy I don't see often. I attended his wedding months ago and got all silly drunk and found myself singing dirty songs on karaoke. He was in town this weekend on business and wanted to hang out. I told him I'd be happy to partake in some drinking, but karaoke?

On the way to the bar Ron told me it was an Irish Pub and that I would like the beer. Fair compromise I thought. After I walked into O' Flannigans, or something to that effect, I realize this place was about as Irish as the Olive Garden is authentic Italian cuisine. A trashy dive with darts and pool the bar had every sort of character you would expect. Old men were sitting up at the bar in jean jackets and trucker hats, chunky women dressed with a massive amounts of cleavage, and various white trash sorts decorated the bar as they washed down their broken dreams with some whiskey.

This is Ron's kind of place.

Ron, Brian, and I sit down and I start drinking, heavily. Massive amounts of Guinness was consumed and I started feeling a good buzz going. Ron and Brian got up and sang before the crowd and seemed to be enjoying themselves. Shortly after I hear words that I didn't want to hear.

"Erik step on up to the mic."

'Hmm there's another Erik here,' I thought to myself. I glanced over at Ron and Brian who were both clapping and gesturing me to go up there.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked. "I didn't give him a slip."

Ron laughed. Oh shit he filled one out for me. I sat for a second and pondered how I'd make my escape, but the alcohol in me said to hell with it. I'm never going to see any of these people again so I'll go up and sing whatever.

I walk up and grab the mic waiting to find out which tune I would be serenading the crowd with. I heard the first chord and instantly recognize it. Yes folks it was encore time as 'The Ballad of Chasey Lain" was sung again by Wiwille.

Some people in the crowd recognized the tune actually and started hollering and gesturing. In front of me was a crowd of 40 somethings celebrating a birthday. They were obviously not familiar with the song, but they laughed as I belted out each lyric.

The song ended with much applause and laughter. I made my way to the bathroom when a girl stopped me.

"That was really funny," she said. "I can't believe you sang that."

"Well it was that or some awful rendition of Summer Nights," I said.

We started talking and she introduced me to a friend of hers. She asked what I do for a living. I told her I work for a software company.

"What do you do when you're not hanging around karaoke bars?" I asked.

"I'm a dancer," she said.

"Oh yeah? Like ballet or ballroom?"

"Yeah," she said with a sarcastic look. "Not that kind of dancing."

"Ohhhhh. I see. Well how's the medical benefits in that profession?"

She shot me a look that told me how unfunny I was being.

"So," she said. "I suppose you're gonna try and sleep with me now?" She had a tone that was sarcastic and bitter. Behind those eyes of hers was a soul torn with Daddy issues and a mess of men who'll do and say anything to get with her only to later discard her like a full ashtray.

"What makes you think I want to sleep with you?" I asked.

Her face almost hit the floor. That wasn't the response she was expecting. The 'dancer' excused herself to the restroom in a hurried fashion. I turned and looked at her friend who was holding back her laughter. When the dancer was out of sight she took my hand and shook it.

"She uses that line all the time," Kelly said. "You're the first guy to ever say that to her."

"I hope her feelings aren't hurt," I said. "But then again she shouldn't be so presumptuous. She's not that hot."

Kelly laughed and thanked me for saying that to her. I excused myself and finally made my way back to the table. More songs were butchered by the patrons including myself as I decided to spread a little Johnny Cash. It was awful, but it was fun. I met a lot of people in that bar and found that most were good folk. As the night went on the crowd got younger and more entertaining and I understood finally why people like this karaoke thing, but even then I doubt I could make a habit of it.

This weekend was even more packed with Whirlyball, a Mariners game, a couple of parties, and various other antics. Much alcohol was consumed, a lot was regurgitated, bad food was eaten, great conversation was had, and I forgot what a good night's sleep is. Maybe I'm getting to old for this.....

I think I've written enough for today.

"How well I have learned that there is no fence to sit on between heaven and hell. There is a deep, wide gulf, a chasm, and in that chasm is no place for any man." - Johnny Cash

Apr 24, 2008

More Wiwille dreams. This time with horrifying results.

I haven't been sleeping well lately. Yesterday I decided to take a nap and woke up from a dream so out there I had trouble getting back to bed later that evening.

The dream started with me browsing in a department store. I get a phone call from my friend Elli who asked me to come over to her place. I said I needed a shower cause I was about to go on a trip. She said that was fine and that she would meet me there.

I was then showering at Elli's when her fiance Friend (yes that's his given name) walks in with a family of four. I asked them to leave as I was naked in the shower, but Friend insisted that they all say hi. I ask him to hand me my clothes and he complies stating that I'll need them for my trip to Germany. He mentioned that I was in the army and my platoon would need me. I put my clothes on and I get a call from Elli. She asks if I want to meet her at a bar. I ask her if Friend is coming along and she says no and that I'll understand why when I get there.

Suddenly I'm in Germany standing with a bunch of soldiers going over plans to rescue a captured platoon of Americans. Our group was to sneak up on the Germans, kill them if necessary, and escort our soldiers back to the base. We make our way to our intended target and start belly crawling. We stand up and a firefight with the Germans ensue. The Americans were huddled in a circle staying put. I grab my machine gun and start firing, but I lost control of it and not only did I take down each and every one of the enemy I also shoot up the Americans as well.

I run up to the Americans to see if there are any survivors, but sadly there were none. My platoon leader looks at me and shrugs his shoulders and starts complaining about how that was a complete waste of time. I start yelling at him telling him I committed the most atrocious incident, but the rest of the platoon seemed nonchalant about the whole thing and just wanted to return to base.

A German soldier appears and starts pointing a pistol at us and screaming. I run up to him and disarm him. He starts to back off and I talk him out of doing anything rash. He keeps walking backwards mumbling something in his native tongue. I drop the clip of the pistol and check the chamber only to find a bunch of small sticks covered in red paint instead of bullets. I look up and the German is gone.

Our platoon is back at base and some commander wanted to give me a medal, but I refused telling him what exactly happened out there. He didn't seem to care and wanted to give me the medal anyways. I start to sob and demand I go home.

I'm suddenly in a small town near my childhood home with a couple guys from the platoon. One of them says we were going to meet his girlfriend at a place called Bundy's, a fifties style drive up burger joint. We arrive at the diner and the guys said they'd be sitting in the restaurant. The girlfriend asked me to order food with her.

On a side note she looked like Meghan McCain.

We order our food and wait and make small talk. She asked me about serving in Germany, but I started to tear up telling her about my horrific experience. She smiled and said it would be all right and then explained that her and her boyfriend would be heading up to Seattle by bus. She then told me that Greyhound has great deals as you can take a bag of weed on there for $35 as opposed to booze which was $45.


I told her that I was from the area, but she fell silent. I told her this is usually when someone says where they are from to keep the conversation going, but she ignored that and asked if I could take a drive with her and show her around.

We hop into her SUV and she drives me around the town while I reminisce about stories from my youth. She stops the car at a shopping area and we walk around these western style stores. We enter one store that had a sign saying they were closed, but we could go in as far as a small waist high fence separating us from the merchandise.

I was standing by the fence looking at trinkets and tea sets. She dares me to hop the fence, which I did before the girl finished her sentence. Suddenly I hear sirens and I turned and hurdled it again.

We quickly exit the store and go into a candy shop where her boyfriend and his buddy happened to be. A woman approaches me and asks me what I was doing. I told her I was shopping. She asks for ID, but I refuse. The lady flashes a badge stating she's a cop. I give her my drivers license and she pulls out some machine and walks away.

After some conversation with the McCain look alike and her boyfriend the cop comes back with a ticket typed out on the back of an envelope. I started reading it and find out I am being fined $8 for entering a store with a dog that doesn't have a leash. I argue with the cop as it was obvious to everyone that I don't own a canine, but she says if I don't pay it I'll never be allowed in the town again.

The guy and girl then leave to get on a bus and the other guy asks me to go to a football field. I go there and most of the platoon I was with in Germany was there. They greet me warmly and congratulate me on being a hero, but I start to cry again thinking about killing the fellow soldiers. Suddenly another squad shows up wearing all white shirts and trash talking us.

We agree to a friendly scrimmage. We line up on the 50 yard line and I looked and saw an old childhood friend lined up near me, but he doesn't acknowledge me. I drop back to play linebacker, but the dream ended.

That image of shooting up everyone is still haunting me.

"Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed." - Dwight D. Eisenhower

Apr 23, 2008

Wiwille watches television

I went to a friend's house last night and watched television. She has a DVR so we watched 'How I Met Your Mother' and the latest 'South Park', which was hilarious. J'Sizzle (her term, not mine) is not a movie buff like me so I had to point out some of the references, but at least she realized that they were ripping off a film.

J'Sizzle then tunes to "Shot of Love 2 with Tila Tequila", cause apparently enough wasn't said with the first season. If you haven't seen this show I recommend you thank each and every God real or man made.

For those not well versed in reality television the shows premise is about a group of guys and girls that compete for the affection of the shows star, a bi-sexual dwarf who found fame through the online meat market and pedophile tool we know as MySpace. The audience is introduced to the contestants and Tila comes out in a skimpy outfit to meet them all.

Tila then demands that the guys get in one cage and the girls get in another. She states that they all have to dance and get her hot. The group that wins gets to spend time with Tila in the house while the losers sit in the cage for a while.

Cue the music. The girls started disrobing each other and dancing all hot. The men just hopped around like apes and showed off their newly shaved chests. One guy went so far as to completely disrobe and show off his wee wee. Not surprisingly the women won.

Tila starts meeting the girls who are not as hot as they think they are. Kind of disappointing considering I wanted to at least get to see hot bi-curious women make out, but sadly I saw mildly attractive women fight for the affection of a cartoon character. Not exactly my type.

Finally the men got into the house and things got even more sideways. Two guys wanted to go fisticuffs and got into each others' faces and did a bunch of posturing. No fighting ensued which was unfortunate, cause they were both jackasses and deserved to get their ass beat. The rest of the metro looking guys were about what you'd expect from reality television contestants. All had well coiffed hair, not a follicle to be seen from the neck down, and were as whiny and attention starved as your average pre-schooler.

There was some elimination ceremony where Tila chooses some people to leave the house saying the oh so clever line "your shot at love is over". I don't understand what happened to her shot at love in the first season, but I'm too lazy and suffering from a lack of giving a shit to look it up.

The show ended and I tried to calculate how much my intellect suffered as a result, but sadly I realized any intelligence I may have had before viewing it has been destroyed. I now mourn the days where my brain was a useful tool, because now it might as well be a garden ornament.

"You just have to have faith that it is there........you don’t have to search for love when love has always been searching for you all this time." - Tila Tequila

Apr 22, 2008

Strange dreams with Wiwille

Last night as I got little sleep I had an experience in dream land that must be shared. No the dream did not involve me being a member of the GI Joe team whooping ass on Cobra only to be greeted by my love Scarlette Johanson when I return home from battle.

I like the way you think though.

I was in a mall and for whatever reason I knew I had to find a particular item, but wasn't sure what it was. A random girl approached me and told me that I look lost and she'll assist with my shopping needs. I asked her how she could help since I didn't even know what I was looking for, but she claimed she knew exactly what I needed and that I should trust her.

I followed her to a particular store without question, cause she was hot. I'm kinda dumb that way.

We started browsing through the items which were displayed in a haphazard fashion and she came across a board game. She opened the game and it had playing pieces straight out Sorry and a board that was unique to say the least. On it was your typical standard board game, cept it had video images on it which had stills from Saved by the Bell.

Yes I said Saved by the Bell.

The girl explained to me that I must get this board game, that it had that unintentionally funny workout video the female cast members did, because that was supposed to mean something to me. She then went on to explain how this show was the cultural equivalent of Dante's Inferno. I argued that the idea of me buying a Saved by the Bell board game was about as useful to me as Scientology e-meter, but she would hear none of it.

Growing with frustration the girl demanded that I buy it. I took it from her and watched videos play on the board game. What's sad is that I didn't recognize the mall, the store, nor the girl, but I remembered the videos playing on the game. I watched too much television as a kid.

I look up at her and agreed to buy it, but as long as she would teach me how to play it. She said she would and then asked me about green shoes. The dream ended.

Many professionals in the field of dream study believe you should always try to find meaning in the surreal period of sleep. While I'm sure some of you may have your theories I believe the girl in question was an angel sent to tell me that Tiffani Thiessen is my soul mate. Yes I believe she's hotter now that she's gained weight. I like my girls curvy.

"There are too many rotten things in this world, and if I can put a smile on one little girl's face, one little boy's face, then I've done my job." - Tiffani Thiessen

Apr 20, 2008

Wiwille's movie reviews part 44

Pain. Some say it may be relative and I find myself in agreement. Great lengths are taken to numb it, but mostly without strength our cures can be worse than the disease.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind explores these themes in a surreal fashion. Joel is an ordinary boring guy who ditches work one day and for reasons he can't explain travels to the beach. On the train he meets Clementine, a vibrant fun loving gal who attempts to get to know the quiet passenger. Instant chemistry arises between the two and Joel finds himself smitten with the fun Clementine.

Rewind a day earlier. Joel is broken hearted to find his love has moved on and ignored him. He finds out she has opted for a medical procedure to erase all memories of him and their tumultuous relationship. In his anger he decides to do the same and let go all thoughts of her.

The film then has the doctor and technicians erasing all memories Joel has of his love while he sleeps. The images he has of his past love are interspersed with the voices of the technicians working on him. He soon realizes what's going on and tries to convince the dream version of his ex that they must fight to hold on to the visuals he keeps in his heart.

If you haven't figured it out by now the ex in question is indeed Clementine. I won't give away any more.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is a visual masterpiece full of eye candy that'll keep any film buff glued to the screen. While this may sound like a Gilliam film this movie holds true timeless themes of romance and how the heart works. I think a lot of us would like to bury our emotions and start over completely, but even if you can't you love the person that you choose to, even if you don't understand it.

It's amazing how I watched this film at this time in my life. I know most of you won't understand why I just typed that. Just trust me on this.

Given it's great cast, the spectacle for the cerebral, and the heart of this story I would highly recommend it. Thanks to WIGSF for submitting this. Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see it soon on Erik's Ramblings. Rules are posted here.

"Despite jumping through the deliberately disorienting hoops of its story, Eternal Sunshine has an emotional center, and that's what makes it work." - Roger Ebert

Apr 16, 2008

Wiwille has a creepy coworker

I pulled an all nighter at work, but around 2am I decided to catch a few hours of sleep in the break room. I lay down on the couch and tune into the news and shortly I was in deep slumber.

I awoke at 5a to find an older gent dressed in a poorly tailored black polo shirt and khakis. A bad comb over and little regard for appropriate footwear this mid 40s man was standing there looking at me. I looked back at him while he took the remote from the stool and changed the channel from MSNBC to Nickelodeon. He goes to the refrigerator with the remote in hand and pulls a popsicle out of the freezer. He sits on the other couch and starts to watch Nickelodeon cartoons.

I was waiting for Chris Hansen to pop out or nowhere and ask him to have a seat over there. Maybe it's the lack of sleep or the fact I watch too many movies, but a guy dressed like that eating frozen treats in the early morning while watching children's programming just sent red flags at full mast. I got up and gave him a look, but he wouldn't make eye contact with me. It's just as well.

Now I do like cartoons. You'll catch me watching Looney Tunes on occasion and yes I enjoy a lot of classic Disney animation as well as their new Pixar movies, but this incident really bothered me for reasons I can't explain.

I rarely see the guy, but I know now to avoid him at all costs.

Maybe I should stop posting with such little sleep.

“The challenge for us is also to make it journalistically solid.” - Chris Hansen

Apr 15, 2008

Finally one I want to see, or do I?

Everyone knows who Marilyn Monroe was, but many of her fans adore her for different reasons. While she's not my favorite starlet from that era (I'll reserve my heart for Grace Kelly till the end of my days) there's no denying that I'm fascinated with her work. Always beautiful she walked the thin line of portraying herself as a naive simpleton but still maintaining a classy demeanor which few actresses have achieved since. Although many have tried to emulate her no one captured the minds and hearts of the movie going public such as she.

It has come to light that there is a sex tape involving her servicing some unknown man. According to the story the film was made before she became a star and fell into the hands of a mob informant. In the mid 60s the FBI became aware of the film and confiscated the 16mm negatives so Hoover could try and prove that the man in question was one of the Kennedy brothers. The cross dressing cop found no evidence and the footage seemed to be unavailable to all who don't work in the justice department.

However the informant made a copy and gave it to his son. His son in turn sold it to a wealthy collector recently for 1.5 million. The buyer claims he'll keep the film buried out of respect.

Now when I first read that I almost danced a happy jig at the thought of getting to see that. After much thought though I decided I'll actually make no effort to view said footage.

Yes that may shock you, but I thought about all the sex tapes I've seen including Pamela, Paris, and Kim and was really kind of bored by them. While yes Marilyn is way hotter than the other women my image of her is quite different. I don't know much about her personal life and I've kept it that way, cause I enjoy the fantasy I created about her based on her work. Granted I know it's all a delusion, but it's my way of romanticising yester year and really watching her give oral on camera may shatter my dreams. I mean what if she's bad at it? I could just not see it and let my ignorance of her cock sucking be in fact bliss.

I'm kinda a weird guy when I think about it.

"Dogs never bite me. Just humans." - Marilyn Monroe


UPDATE: This may be a hoax.

Apr 14, 2008

Wiwille asks critical questions

All right this post is kinda gross so if you have a sensitive constitution I suggest you stop reading now.

Lately I've asked a few friends a question that I think is of utmost importance. I learn a lot by quizzing my acquaintances on various topics such as ethics, politics, relationships, etc. I'm sure we all do this to some degree, but some of my inquiries surprise them.

So when you're engaged in carnal acts with or without a partner and you break wind is it appropriate to go ahead and finish? All men said stick it out till the end. Women seem divided though. Although most agree that when having conventional sex that they would go ahead and finish a strong majority feels that when having quality time alone it's appropriate to stop and leave the room. I ask them if they ever lit a candle and just continued, but after much laughter they all denied doing that.

Not that this has ever happened to me. Nope. Never.....ehhh.....

Wiwille: bridging the gender gap online since 2005.

"My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away." - Jenny McCarthy

Apr 13, 2008

The reasons.

I've been tagged by Jlee. I'm supposed to write ten reasons why I blog.

1. The reason I started this blog was because I was facing a layoff by my company and I thought I'd chronicle my search for a new job. I got a new position with this company in less than a month so the theme changed.

2. Writing gives me a daily creative outlet. Sure instead of broadcasting my thoughts to the scrutiny of the internet I could keep them to myself, but what's the fun in that?

3. I enjoy reading other blogs and seeing the small slice of life they decided to share with others. It's interesting to try and get to know what someone's like even though I believe that auto-biography is more fiction than fact often times. Still I'm fascinated with everyones' perception on life.

4. It's fun to entertain others with my posts regardless of the topic or mood. All the world's a stage and this is just my attempt at being a storyteller.

5. Twenty, maybe thirty years from now (if I live that long god willing) I want to read this blog from the beginning to end and get to know the man I once was. I want to remember how I felt about various issues whether they be political or personal.

6. I get to post pictures of Scarlette. Nuff said.

7. When I do post about politics or film I'd like to believe that I made all two of my readers actually think about the world they inhabit.

8. I'm somewhat arrogant enough to believe that these often times mindless posts are worth being read by someone other than myself.

9. I find by the social interaction displayed amongst amateur bloggers to be highly amusing and sometimes even perplexing. I've really enjoyed watching how others interact in the comment field of my and various other blogs.

10. Blogging gives me the chance to write in a 'gonzo' fashion. My writing in almost every other line has to be formal and precise, but here I get to write a post in record time with little to no editing. It's the opportunity to have thoughts flow straight from my brain (which sometimes is under the influence of alcohol I'll admit) through my fingertips and onto this application. Here I make my own voice for good or for ill.

I could go on with many other reasons I still blog, which I've seriously considered ending, but I'll save them for another time. I won't tag anyone specifically, but if you want to do this have fun. I enjoyed it.

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson

Apr 10, 2008

Wiwille's movie reviews part 43

Westerns is a genre I'm torn about. While many great films have been born out of them (High Noon, The Searchers) there's so much crap that's produced I can't handle. Whether it be overrated pulp (Tombstone, anything starring Clint Eastwood) or just corn (most John Wayne films) Hollywood hardly goes for originality in these period pieces as most audiences have come to love the formula of shoot em ups and seem to despise anything that doesn't involve a lot of action.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford is an intimate biopic of both the infamous outlaw and the man who killed him. Set in the later years of the James-Younger gang, Ford, a admirer of Jesse, joins up in hopes to go on many adventures robbing various 'union' banks and trains. Almost obsessed with Jesse's fame, Ford tries to become his closest companion. He's always studying his moves and motives and going over his collection of James memorabilia he collected as a child. Soon Ford sees who the real James is and is upset to see his delusions of the media image crumble before him.

For those unfamiliar with the old west and if you haven't figured out how it's going to end I suggest you read the title a little more closely.

While Pitt does a good job portraying the younger James as a paranoid loose cannon Casey Affleck's performance is amazing. The rest of the cast is great as well. The dialogue has an authentic feel to it and the photography is absolutely incredible. With sometimes haunting music almost all the elements are outstanding.

That's not to say it's not without flaws. The second act is slowly paced and if it wasn't for the visuals I would find the lack of editing frustrating. The theme of celebrity culture is apparent within the first ten minutes and is repeated over and over again to the point you just want to yell at the scream "look I get it".

The movie is hard to recommend, because I doubt a lot of you will like it. Like it's overlong title the movie has a lengthy run time of over 2 hours and has little action. You will not see much gunplay as you would expect from a western and to most viewers that's a serious setback. Talky and slow it almost feels similar to a Malick film.

All that being said I really enjoyed it for the reasons already mentioned. If you prefer to leave your brain at the door and just be dazzled by special effects and/or if you still think Will Smith is entertaining this movie is not for you. Enjoy the next episode of your favorite reality show instead.

Thanks to Sarebeth and Scituate for submitting this. Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see it soon on Erik's Ramblings. Rules are posted here.

"This is the kind of picture that isn't afraid to put its characters under a microscope, and it knows that studying their psychology is far more rewarding than studying their gun-slinging skills," - Mike McGranaghan

Apr 9, 2008

It kept me alive, barely

For those who've ever spent any amount of time in their lives being poor this post is for you. Others might as well read a Scarlette post or gym story from the archives.

I came home to my apartment on a Friday night. The taste of various kinds of alcohol still permeating my tongue. I fumble with the keys marking up the door as I try to accomplish the simple task of inserting it into the lock. Finally after much hassle the door opens and I stumble into the living room.

I should go straight to bed, but my stomach is begging me for substance other than liquid. I throw open the kitchen cupboards and refrigerator only to find nothing more than stale crackers, a jar with a single pickle, and various condiments.

But wait I have the food of the gods sitting on the counter. Sure I may have had the same thing for lunch and dinner today, as well as the last six months, but it was cheap and available. I grab a pot, clean it up, and boil some water on the stove. I throw in the package of shrimp flavored Maruchan Ramen in the water and wait in anticipation of the tasty noodles.

Being young, poor, and terrible with prioritizing my money Ramen became a staple of my diet. They sold ten of them for a dollar so it gave me the opportunity to spend my cash on other things, such as booze, concerts, women, etc. Sure it's not the healthiest of diets, but I won't regret consuming it on a regular basis, cause without it I may not have had as much fun.

The noodles are finally done. I place a plate on top of the pot and use it as a makeshift strainer. I open the shrimp flavored packet, which in retrospect didn't taste all that much different than the other flavors, and mix it with the noodles. I sit up on the counter and take my first bite. My roommate wakes up and asks if I'm drunk. I keep quiet as he already knows the answer.

Why write this post? Well in honor of the World Ramen Summit or course. I find this awesome. My eating habits have changed dramatically since then, and for the better I'd like to think, but sometimes I miss those glorious days of ending a fun night on simple sustenance.

"Ramen is not just for Japan, but it is also for the world and the universe," - Junichiro Koizumi

Apr 8, 2008

So wrong. So very very wrong.

I think I should have omnipotent powers. Seriously. The world would be way cool if I did. There would be a Disneyland in every town, booze would be served 24x7, and many women would find me the equivalent of George Clooney for reasons they can't understand.

The main reason I need ultimate control of the universe and all it's complexity is population control. There would be so many people that wouldn't exist such as Hitler, Pol-Pot, and Paris Hilton. With a snap of my fingers the world would never know the career of Pauly Shore, Robert McNamara, or Color Me Badd. It would be glorious.

If I had such powers right now the first two people on my list that would leave this blessed Earth would be John and Jennifer Deaves. John Deaves fathered Jennifer 31 years ago and decided to be a deadbeat dad by leaving her and her mother. After three decades of never seeing his child they reunited recently and made amends. They hit it off so well that John left his wife, who's the same age as Jennifer, and a relationship ensued.

No not the conventional father/daughter relationship. They started to date and now have children. Yes they have children. Let that idea sink in folks. She gave birth to her half sister and Jennifer is now her aunt/mother/fucking asshat.

When I heard this on the radio tears of anger started to well up. I tightened my grip on the steering wheel, teeth clenched, muscles pulsing, and I started to shake. This couple must be stopped and I would gladly be the man to do it.

Incest. It's just wrong.

"After I had been there quite a few days I started to notice my feelings were changing and I was seeing him as a man, as a person, who was loving (and) caring," - Jennifer Deaves

Ex-wife slams incest couple

Apr 7, 2008

Wiwille's movie reviews part 42.

I'm fascinated with the career of John Hughes. Normally when folks of our generation think of the writer/director they think of funny teenage melodrama accompanied by pop soundtracks (Breakfast Club, Ferris Buellers Day Off). While his films may be as subtle as a sledgehammer people seem to forget that he also was the brains behind the kick-in-the-crotch comedy Home Alone, the forgettable Curly Sue, and the cinematic masterpiece with a Saint Bernhard who's named after a famous composer.

Molly Ringwald plays a middle class teen who's feeling neglected by the fact that everyone in her family has forgotten about her sixteenth birthday as they prepare for her sister's wedding. Lonely and insecure she pines for Jake, the handsome unobtainable rich senior. Jake is a sweet natured guy who actually puts his hormones aside as he notices her affection and struggles with the idea of leaving his hot shallow girlfriend.

I've never seen Sixteen Candles before, nor did I have any real desire. While I enjoy a good comedy once in a while I figured this would just be another formulaic film. While there are elements that seem stale I laughed my ass off in this movie. Long Duk Dong was quite possibly the most politically incorrect character since Mickey Rooney's portrayal of the landlord in Breakfast at Tiffany's, but damn it every time I heard that gong I chuckled. I was genuinely moved by how the kids were flawed, but still good natured. Then there's Anthony Michael Hall who often steals the show with his antics and nerdy demeanor.

Oh the movie has boobies. Yes a PG movie showing the naked ladies. I for one am all for it.

I recommend this as the laughs I had were sincere and I was somewhat touched by the romantic element. A lesser director would have been more cynical portraying the teen years, but Hughes made a nice Cinderella story that both genders can appreciate.

Thanks to Miss Ash for submitting this as I never would've watched it otherwise. Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see it soon on Erik's Ramblings. Rules are posted here.

"A sweet and funny movie about two of the worst things that can happen to a girl on her sixteenth birthday." - Roger Ebert

Apr 6, 2008

I wonder if she did.

A day after my birthday I was talking to a friend on the phone. She said something that has been stuck with me for a while.

"I bet your birth mother thought of you."

Most parents go though a vigorous process to have a baby. Nine months of labor the mother goes through hellish mood swings, hemorrhoids, bizarre eating habits, and what I imagine to be a painful delivery. My parents had to go through a screening process, then wait until the day they got a phone call from the adoption agency telling them they have a baby to come pick up.

I don't remember how old I was when I my folks informed me of the fact I'm adopted, but I was very young and didn't give it much thought. I was an infant when they brought me home for the first time so I only knew them as my parents. The extended family till this day always treated me as if I was blood so my life seemed like any other child's. It wasn't till I got older that it became an issue for me.

I was seventeen at the time and dating a girl for about a year. She finally asks me about being adopted and if I had questions about my birth family. I told her I didn't as it's a foreign concept to call anyone else 'family'. She then asked me if I ever thought about us possibly being family.

I went silent for a couple minutes. While the likelihood of us being related was slim, the fact that it could be a possibility was a horrifying thought.

Fast forward to over three years ago. I'm on a date with a girl who I've seen a couple times before. We were in my car and talking it up getting to know each other. I ask her about her family and after some time she states that she has a long lost brother that her mother gave up for adoption.

I quickly pull the car over.

"What's the matter," she said.

"You were born and raised in Portland," I say. "Right?"

"Yeah," she said seeming nervous at my strange behavior.

"I'm adopted," I said. "I was born and adopted out by an agency in Portland."

She stares at me with a horrifying look. I'm sure mine couldn't have been much better. You could tell the wheels in her head were spinning, but then she figured it out that he's a few years older than me.

We both breathed a sigh of relief. I get back onto the road and after a few moments of silence we laugh about the incident.

Now that I'm getting older I'd like to know my medical history. It's annoying seeing the doctor and filling out the forms and leaving blank any family history of heart trouble, cancer, etc. I really don't know what issues I'll face as I get older and that bothers me. If I ever find someone willing to have children with me I think I owe that information to them.

I don't fault my adopted family for this mind you as back then agencies weren't open about giving the birth families information, possibly by request.

I still think of what my friend told me and why it's stuck with me still. Does my birth mother think of me and the circumstances that brought her to place me up for adoption? What does she imagine my life to be? Is she even alive?

I never made an active search to locate my birth parents as I've accepted the fact that I may be the product of something bad. Whether it be a bad relationship or God forbid something worse I never wanted to contact her and reopen old wounds. I always felt it would be strange considering the people who share the same blood as 'family' for reasons I can't explain.

As I get older though the desire to know more about my physical history and to know if I have any sibilings groes stronger. For the sake of my own health I may have to track down my birth mother if she's even still alive. She may have died in childbirth for all I know, but I do need to figure out what issues I may face in my "golden years".

Regardless if my birth mother is alive or not or has no wish to even remember me at all I will remain forever grateful that she made a choice to give me a chance at this thing called life. I'm not a parent, but I can't imagine how difficult her decision must have been.

"I was an adopted child of my grandparents, and I don't know how I can ever express my gratitude for that, because my parents would have been a mess, you know." - James E. Jones

Apr 4, 2008

Update for movie reviews.

My friend and fellow blogger Mattbear has decided to have his own movie review submissions so I decided to make a change to the rules of Wiwille's movie reviews to make this blog more interactive. If you submit a film for me to watch and write about I'll forward the flick to Mattbear and in turn he'll take a stab at it as well if he wants.

He doesn't have any specific rules to his submissions so I'm guessing he'll be open to watching anything that I may not. So if you're dying to see a review of really bad porn Mattbear is your guy.

This movie review submission has been a lot of fun thus far. I have four movies up for review at this point: The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Down with Love, and Sixteen Candles. If anyone has anything to add leave a comment or email me.

"I'm also going to steal a page from Erik's playbook and offer to review any* movies suggested by my reader(s). Post it as a reply, or e-mail me " - Mattbear

Apr 3, 2008

Wiwille's movie reviews part 41

I can't believe it's been over 40 reviews since I started this movie submission idea. It's been a blast so far as I've seen many great films, even though some of them have been less than stellar (I'm looking at you Greg).

Requiem for a Dream is one of the most fascinating and horrifying films I've ever seen. The film centers around the lives of four individuals caught up in a world of their addictions. Harry, his girlfriend, and his best friend are hooked on heroin and hold little regard for who they hurt to get their fix. After stealing his mother's television, which she ends up buying back from the pawn shop, Harry tries to score a deal with a large shipment of smack heading into town. The delivery goes awry and the three of them take desperate measures to score a fix. Harry has his girlfriend sleep with a dealer for a small bag for example.

His mother goes to the doctor to try and find a solution to her weight problem only to be prescribed an appetite suppressive which is basically speed. Naive to drugs she pops them on a routine basis and can't come to grips with her withdrawals. Struggling with what's happening to her the doctor keeps upping her dosage and sending her further down a spiral of pain.

I won't give away the ending, but I can tell you this is quite possibly the most depressing film I've ever seen. It's a visual masterpiece that really sucks you in to the world of addicts mind. I was impressed by the acting and the pacing is done really well considering the story is nothing more than a look in life of people who commit themselves to the world of drugs. I firmly believe that they should show this film in high school substance abuses classes rather than those stupid funky films of people hacking up their spouses after smoking a joint.

I highly recommend this film, though I doubt anyone will have the courage to see it more than once.

Thanks to WIGSF for submitting this. Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see it soon on Erik's Ramblings. Rules are posted here.

"Conveys, visually, sonically and dramatically, the siren call of addiction like no other movie has." - Terry Lawson

Apr 2, 2008


Since Bejing was elected to host this years Olympics much controversy has ensued over a country with a deplorable human rights record making insane amount of profits over the event. The world's attention has been turned to suedo-communist regime with some in the west calling for boycotts due to the abuses in Tibet and their policies with Taiwan.

Now I can see both sides of the argument, so I'm torn. On one hand I don't want our country contributing to the profits of China. Then again most of the products I buy are hand crafted with the blood of the nation's young so I'd really be a hypocrite in taking a firm stand on this.

On the other hand I believe I the Olympics should stop being political and be about sport. Ban any and all athletes who are professional and keep the venues in Greece and Switzerland. If we really want to send a statement to the Maoist government we should just have our amateur athletes go to their turf and kick a bunch of ass like we did in Berlin in '36.

Yeah I'm quite the intellect today. Feel the brainpower resonating through Erik's Ramblings.

Seriously folks lets not punish the athletes who've trained for years, even decades, to compete in their beloved sport. If we are to combat tyranny we must do it in ways that are often more noble such as stop buying their products, pressure Congressman into revoking favored nation status, etc.

Then again we have enough trouble with our own policies that maybe we should fix us before anyone else.

Man I sound like a dumb American....oh wait...

"Seen from the changes in the world situation and the United States' hegemonic strategy for creating monopolarity, war is inevitable," - Chinese Defense Minister Chi Haotian

Apr 1, 2008

Wiwille's movie reviews part 40

Religion is often a divisive issue especially when it gets mixed with politics. It's not hard to understand why. Many cry foul at conservative Christians for trying to implement their version of scripture into law. Dutch politician Geert Wilders has recently produced Fitna, a propaganda film which attempts to explain how specific verses in the Koran (yes I spelled it like that. Sue me) help justify the actions of Muslim extremists.

First off the art of the film is simple at best. Given a fifteen minute run time there wasn't a lot of work done with the editing. The music is easily recognizable, but sometimes feels out of place. That being said some of the images are quite striking if you haven't seen them already. Mostly it's comprised of actions at 9/11, the Madrid bombings, clerics preaching destruction for the Jews and various other infidels, and violent actions brought upon homosexuals, children, and women.

I know it's all politically correct to sit and say 'now now the poor Muslims are just happy people who want to practice a religion. Most are peaceful.' That may be, but like most faiths Islam is not the religion of peace that they claim to be. The fundamentalist community which has arisen from regions of the Earth that are either oppressed or war torn have wreaked havoc on the political landscape that still values democracy and free speech. Wilders' film is what he thinks should be a wake up call to the citizens of Holland claiming that followers of Islam are incompatible with modern society and we should resist any and all attempts by radical clerics to perverse their way of life.

While I'm obviously not a European I somewhat find myself on the side of Wilders. Granted not all people of faith are trying to subvert modern humanism, but religion is political at it's core. Some of Allah's teachings in the Koran, which are followed daily all over the world, are completely incompatible with democracy and decent human behavior. It's Wilders fear that such rules will become legislated in his country, because his fellow members of Parliament are too afraid to stand up to threats of violence.

Yes yes I know you're sitting there saying to yourself 'but...but...the Bible says this.' Yes I know all about it. Difference is I've read the Bible and the Koran. You haven't. This little arrogant high horse rant is about the film and it's contents, not to compare and contrast two world religions. That's for another post.

The short film was released online, however it's site host has taken down the film for now due to threats upon their safety. Given the content is not telling you anything you don't already know I can't recommend it as it's just preaching to the choir. Plus it may be difficult to find. If the art of it were better I'd say give it a look, but otherwise it's just a serious of extremists committing horrifying acts of violence and anti-Semitic preaching.

So they're angry about a film that depicts themselves as violent so they decide to react with violence?

Thanks to my friend Pablog for submitting this. Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see it soon on Erik's Ramblings. Rules are posted here.

"What are the fundamentalists really after? Simply taking over Islam and then turning its back on modernity." - Alexander Haig