Mar 31, 2008

Shopping with Wiwille

In keeping with my New Years resolution I went shopping yesterday for some clothes. After some online clothes browsing with Rawbean I decided that Target would be where it's at.

I enter the store and grab a basket thinking I'm only going to buy two items. The men's section was littered with sales and I was happy with the selection, but had a difficult time picking out the right shirt. I sent a pic text to Rawbean, but sadly it didn't send and I didn't notice it till later. I load the basket with four shirts and a couple pairs of jeans and approach the fitting room gal.

Wow she's way cute.

Employee: How many items?

Me: Six.

She hands me a card with the number six on them. She pauses and gives me a look of confusion.

Employee: Are you here by yourself?

Me: I am.

Employee: Wow. A guy who shops for himself. That's rare.

Me: Well it's part of my New Years resolution to change my wardrobe out.

Employee: How's that going?

Me: So far so good.

Employee: Can I help you out with that?

Me: How so?

Employee: I can help pick out an outfit.

Me: That would be great actually.

I change into the various shirts and model them for her. She actually picked out my first choice which was cool. I guess I'm getting good at this whole consumer fashion thing. It was nice of her to take time out to help a man shopping alone. Too bad she doesn't make commission. Next time I should bring somebody to help out as not all low paid retail clerks are that helpful.

One thing I don't understand is why pink seems to be coming back in style. I remember during a brief period of the early nineties where that color was in, but thankfully that fad left us as quickly as Max Headroom. As God as my witness pink shall not be worn by me.

Oh and I bought some black Con One Stars. I feel like I'm back in high school again.

I feel girly posting about my shopping experience.

"Fashion is a tool... to compete in life outside the home. People like you better, without knowing why, because people always react well to a person they like the looks of." - Mary Quant

Mar 30, 2008

Wrong number

I was driving up to Bellingham in miserably slow traffic on Friday watching the snow hit the windshield and listening to the radio. I was incredibly bored and frustrated with the other drivers lack of calm caused by a few snow flakes in the air. The radio show had a call in segment that I thought was interesting so I thought what the hell I'll call in.

I dialed the toll free number and rehearsed in my head what I would say to the DJs. The phone rings and then a guy's voice picked up.

"Want to feel my tight hole with your big throbbing...go ahead and put it in....if you want more, please have your credit card ready...."

Ye Gods I just dialed a gay porn line. I was mortified and couldn't do anything. The recording stopped after announcing they'd connect me to someone. I almost tossed my phone out the car window, but I calmly closed the phone, checked the number and realized that I dialed 800 instead of 877.

I called back with the right number and got a busy signal. My time on the radio was not to be.

It's been three showers since that incident. I still need another one.

"Look, I'm 40, I'm single, and I work in musical theater - you do the math!" - Nathan Lane

Mar 27, 2008

As promised

The baby picture I posted about earlier was a big hit at the meeting. Everyone seemed to enjoy the posing done by my parents. So as promised I'll post the pic here for your amusement. Enjoy:

Here's one of me after the meeting:
Yeah I still refuse to grow up.
"RUM, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers." - Ambrose Bierce

Mar 25, 2008

Birthdays and butt rock

Yes it's still my birthday. Corey and I went out for drinks and food. We talked politics, our recent heartaches, and then as always we discussed music. We first started with Bob Dylan. Granted I'm a bigger fan of Dylan than he is, but we discussed the differences between the folk and electric Bob with much passion. For whatever reason the conversation descended into butt rock and we talked about how Winger's "She's Only Seventeen" could not be released today without a huge amount of outcry.

I'm not sure why we got onto Winger, but we went further and discussed all the butt rock bands that come and play at the Emerald Queen Casino and how we should catch a show sometime. Corey said he wouldn't pay more then $25 and a can of soup for their food drive to see said bands, but I know he'll pay more to see Kix.

We leave the bar and get into his car. He asks me if see a CD on my side that says 'butt rock'. Sure enough he did. On the way home we listened to Winger, Skid Row, and Cinderella. Yes two thirty somethings rocking out to 80s rock in an Acura. Yes we may seem pathetic, but we had fun so screw you hippie. Yeah you only wish you were as cool as us. We made Andrea proud.

Yes I'm drunk. Why do you ask?

I got some Reeses Pieces and am eating them now. They're good.

After all the phone calls, emails, blog comments, and text messages from numbers I don't recognize I was overwhelmed today with the birthday wishes. Even got a store bought cake from my roommate and his girlfriend which ruled. My nephews got on the phone to wish me a happy birthday which was soooo cute. Yes as usual my folks called and sang Happy Birthday to me. They just can't let go.

It sounds simple, but really with all the friends and family I have wishing me a good day made this a great birthday after all.

"We were lumped into the Lite Metal radio bands." - Kip Winger

On this day...

Tis a great day in history. Robert the Bruce became King of Scotland this day and Martin Luther King finished his march on Montgomery. The slave trade in the British Empire was abolished. The Treaty of Amiens was signed to bring about peace.

Not to be forgotten was the birth of someone that would bring about his awesomeness upon this world. Someone that brought about everything that is good and holy. In some remote regions of the Earth this person is regarded as a gentleman and a scholar. Yes rejoice and be glad for this great day this man came upon us. For it is I, Wiwille, who was born 33 years ago today.

I'm old.

"To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent that is to triumph over old age." - Amos Bronson Alcott

Mar 20, 2008

Wiwille is a shallow voter.

I'll admit my passion for the current presidential front runners is minimal at best. The cluster fuck that is the Democratic race is mind boggling and a little bit depressing watching a major party implode.

McCain has been less then impressive. Some would argue he's the most qualified to hold the job of President; however he's about as inspiring as your average nutjob with a sandwich board. Sometimes his Straight Talk Express TM has been less than stellar.

It's sad that the candidates can't come up with better campaigns considering they're following a President who's mildly retarded, but McCain has one weapon in his arsenal that has grabbed my attention and that's a hot daughter.

Yes Meghan McCain has joined the campaign trail blogging about the behind the scenes aspects of her father's run for president. She and a couple of friends give a more human side of her parents and the press by posting videos of the events on the trail. Oh and she's hot. I mean really hot. I mean a girl into politics is very attractive to me.

I won't vote for McCain just because he's got a hot daughter, but since I'm going to marry her it's only polite. Then again she doesn't know I exist so matrimony maybe out of the question.

"Once, this guy at Columbia was talking to his friends. He was like, ‘Meghan McCain this’ and ‘Meghan McCain that,’ going on, saying that he’d slept with me and that it was great. I just happened to be walking by at the time. I was like, ‘Hi, I’m Meghan McCain. I didn’t realize that we’d met.’ He turned ghost white, so I showed him my ID, and I was like, ‘I’m glad you were sharing our passionate love story.’ ” - Meghan McCain

Mar 19, 2008

Four wheeling.

Years ago a couple of friends and I spent a rainy Saturday at the beach driving around a four wheeler. Trampling through the mud and getting it stuck a few times, fun was had by all involved. There was no one else at the beach to be seen as the weather was off putting for most beach goers so we had the place to ourselves.

Brandon, Craig, and I were getting ready to load the four wheeler in the truck. Someone came up with a dare to ride the machine naked. Everyone refused to do it and I took the four wheeler for one last spin. As I rode into the trees I thought about the dare and decided for whatever reason it may be funny. So I sat in the trees and stripped down. I threw open the throttle and rode as fast as I could past the truck containing my friends.

They both doubled over with laughter. I continued to ride to a sandy hill and drove the four wheeler up it. I got stuck at the top of the hill standing up to get some traction. There I was standing on the pegs of the machine trying to make it up, but finally I gave up. I threw it into neutral and turned to cost back down the hill when what to my horror did appear but a family on horseback staring at me.

There was a family of four riding their horses minding their own business when they had to come across a muddy naked guy on a four wheeler. The poor people. I don't think I rode the thing faster trying to get back to the truck. My friends thankfully were still there awaiting my arrival. I threw my clothes on and loaded the thing as quickly as possible. We made it out of there before someone could call the cops.

"Streaking is a sign of decreasing self-esteem and increasing moral turpitude" - Wes Hall

Mar 18, 2008

Babies and Bacardi

Today at work we were asked to bring in baby photos for a group meeting. I browsed through my photo album last night trying to find one of me in front of a computer, but to no avail. Instead I found one that I thought may be appropriate. It's one of me crawling towards a bottle of Bacardi Rum. My father, who fancies himself a card, believed setting a bottle of alcohol in front of me was a Kodak moment. And my folks wonder why I took such a liking to booze.

Once I get it scanned I'll post it. I was a cute baby after all.

"Making a television show is not like making Coca-Cola or Bacardi rum. The human element in our business prevents us from finding a successful formula every time." - Desi Arnaz

Mar 17, 2008

Wiwille's movie reviews part 39

I've never been much of a fan of martial arts films. There have been a few that have some charm, but most are cheesy and rather simple. Circle of Iron attempts to raise the bar in terms of quality in the genre, but fails mostly.

The film starts with a lone wanderer named Cord who participates in a martial arts tournament to win the right to go on a quest for a book that supposes to have all knowledge. After being disqualified from the event Cord seeks it out anyways. After the winner of the matches dies Cord takes his place and faces the trials set upon him to find the book.

Along the way Cord meets various eccentric characters including a blind, flute playing David Carradine who seems to have a cryptic answer for everything. There's an old guy who submits to sitting in a tub of hot oil to punish himself for having lustful thoughts. Oh and there's death and some rich eccentric baron of sorts.

Playing numerous characters Carradine is the highlight of this movie as his acting is above and beyond the rest of the cast. Not that that's saying much though, but his part in playing dual roles makes him seem like he's having fun with it. The work of the main character is phenomenally bad. The fight scenes are poorly shot and the plot is often disjointed. Slow moving and with an ending that's hardly satisfying, Circle of Iron's attempt to entertain is disappointing considering the story was created by the legend Bruce Lee. I guess Bruce wanted to bring about his Zen philosophy to the big screen before he died, but too bad he this was all they could muster. The only bright spot is seeing some of the references made in Kill Bill 2.

Thanks to Jeff for submitting this. Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see it soon on Erik's Ramblings. Rules are posted here.

"Without Lee's charisma or guidance, the movie never sparks to life." - Jeff Anderson

Mar 16, 2008

Wiwille's movie reviews part 38

What a night to celebrate the life of St Patrick. Oh what a night indeed, but I'm getting off topic.

Donnie Darko is a film most are familiar with as it spawned a massive cult following a few years ago. Set in the mid 80s Donnie is a disturbed teenager who constantly sees visions of a guy dressed in a dark bunny rabbit costume. The spawn haunts Donnie and has him do various arts of vandalism including arson.

Fascinated by the images in his head, Donnie starts his own theories of why he's compelled to do such deeds and looks into time travel as a possibility which worries his teacher. His parents and therapist are equally baffled by the delusions and are concerned for his well being.

Donnie Darko is refreshingly original as well as entertaining. The acting is superb, the script is enjoyable, and it's dark humor and themes are engaging. It's no wonder why this movie became such a huge hit on video. This satisfying mystery is a must for any collection. Thanks to WIGSF for submitting this.

Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see it soon on Erik's Ramblings. Rules are posted here.

"An engaging, time-tripping Holden Caulfield." - Lou Lumenick

Mar 14, 2008

My heart

I wonder sometimes when it's going to be my time. Will I ever find the one? Will my heart be good enough for somebody?

I watched in horror last night as who I thought was the one walked away from me, again. The crushing pain in my stomach, the sudden angst of all the emotions surrounding my heart, and the agony of knowing that this time I was a fool.

Maybe the idea that I can make someone happy is a delusion. Maybe I just don't have what it takes to bring a good life to someone. Whatever the reason I can't give up hope. One day I might meet that person who will cherish what I have to offer. Today though I sit and look out at the rain while applying bandages to a part of my soul that is now broken.

But for last night I wished a good life for the girl I wanted to give everything. A girl I used to call the Pretty Girl. I hope her existence on the this planet is extraordinary.

"If you have love in your life, you have life." - Bernhard Goetz

Mar 13, 2008


Privacy, it's what Americans cherish most. It's the reason we have search warrants, Roe v Wade, and various other ordinances designed to protect one's right to freely dance about it in a Rainbow Brite costume to the funky beats of Abba in the comforts of our own dwellings.

Not that anyone should do that, but most expect privacy in areas outside of their domain. Note one guy at work, who feels it's necessary to attach a long yard of toilet paper to the door hinge inside the bathroom stall to ensure no one peeks in. Yes he's afraid of people looking at him squat on the porcelain chair.

The child in me wants to reach over the stall and grab the makeshift curtain, rip it out, and point my finger and scream "YOU'RE GOING POOP. YOU'RE GOING POOP."

I guess that wouldn't be polite, but dude you're in a public bathroom. Do you really think people are trying to look in at you? I mean they do when I'm in there, but only to check out what an Adonis I am. Everyone wants to take a look at perfection. Oh and I poop gold. True story.

"I urge calm and sensitivity to the fundamental civil liberties of our country." - Larry Craig

Mar 12, 2008

The principle's office

My mother loves to tell embarrassing stories to every girl I bring home. If I happen to take a female across the threshold of my parent's house they get to hear all sorts of tales regarding me and my antics as a youth. Some of them get more sensational as the years go by, but one sticks out in my mind today.

I was in the first grade at the local Catholic school. I was sitting at my desk doing my work when conversation ensued with my classmate Steve. For whatever reason he called me a 'shithead'. Yeah Steve was a jokester. Instead of telling on him I decided to counter, but understanding the rule that you can't actually speak a swear word I thought I could get away with the next best thing, writing it down.

I wrote the word 'asshole' in crayon on my Superman pencil box and showed it to Steve. He pauses in shock, but then displays a devious grin. He grabs the pencil box out of my hands and starts running up to the teacher screaming 'Erik's writing naughty words on his pencil box' in a nasally proud tone of voice. He reaches the front of her desk chanting that phrase as he was holding the item in view. As he was in mid sentence of another announcement to the teacher and the rest of North America about my obscene pencil box graffiti I tackled him from behind. The contents of my pencil box flew across the desk as Steve and I wrestled for control of it.

The teacher broke us up and examined my writing. I told her I thought it was okay to write it, just not say it. She didn't buy it although I swear I truly believed that. She sent me to the principle's office to see the nun.

Sister Barbara didn't fit the stereotype of a stern nun who whacked kids with rulers. She was a sweet lady with a real love for children and her Lord. Sister Barbara didn't put up with shenanigans though. She took a look at my pencil box and asked me questions about the language I used. I said I heard it from my parents, a claim my mother till this day denies (I stick to this claim). The good nun calls my folks at work and explains to them the situation and reminded them that I've heard them using such language like that 'all the time'.

I was sent back to class, but was counting the hours down till my ass would later be met by my father's belt. After my mom went off forever about how embarrassed she was over the idea that someone else knew she swore at home I took quite a licking for my profanity.

When I was a kid foul language was just used on pencil boxes and school desks, but now it's on my blog. I learned nothing I guess.

"I have terrible handwriting. I now say it's a learning disability... but a nun who was a very troubled woman hit me over the fingers with a ruler because my writing was so bad." - Andrew Greeley

Mar 11, 2008

The Music Post

I normally don't write about music as my passion is more towards film, but I do love me some tunes and today I'll bring you a trip down memory lane set to song.

It was the late eighties and I was spending the night at a friends house. We were in his room when he handed me a stack of Playboy and Easyrider magazines. He put in a tape of AC/DC's Back in Black album and we indulged in bluesy rock and tried to make sense of the periodical's jokes as the night strolled on.

Fast forward a couple of years. I had my first date in front of the TV watching a movie on VHS. This was big time. It was then I learned how effective viewing a horror film with a girl can be. For yes this girl sure enough got spooked and as all guys can relate to she clamped both hands on my biceps and dug her nails into them. I kind of liked the idea of her being so willing to touch me, but I could've done without the pain.

Oh and the movie was 'The Lost Boys'. One song from the soundtrack always makes me think of that early date and how much I learned from it.

Lets put the wheels in reverse and go to a time when Ghostbusters ruled the box office, Zips were the cool shoes, and the local skating rink was where it was at. My time at Skate World usually consisted of me falling on my ass a lot, but there were those few tender moments during couples skate. Yes we boys had to brave up and ask a girl to hold hands with us through a slow song and thankfully the girls took pity on us and said yes. My first couples skate was to Cindy Lauper.

That was fun. I'll do this again sometime.

"Humour is a great vehicle for getting a message across. If you get too serious, you could die of starch." - Cyndi Lauper

Mar 9, 2008

Wiwille feels like ass

I learned a valuable lesson this weekend. Corey came over on Friday and stated he was sick, but not contagious. This was sadly not the case as he was coughing up a lung and later in the evening I started to as well.

Saturday was Andrea's yearly move to which I went over and helped, again. Her brother thought it was hilarious as the only time he sees me is once a year when I help haul furniture. The move was pretty easy though and went quickly.

I got home that afternoon and laid down. I started coughing again and my sinuses were killing me. I fell asleep rather quickly, but awoke early this morning feeling like hell. I'm at work right now eating chicken noodle soup and lots of orange juice. Oh and I forgot to spring forward. Today is not a good day.

"The President has once again failed us. Millions of Americans are at risk of going without the flu vaccine this year because the administration failed to act proactively to ensure an adequate supply. There is simply no excuse for this." - Jon Corzine

Mar 6, 2008

Wiwille's movie reviews part 37

Since I started doing this movie review thing I'm amazed at how many foreign films have been submitted. Not that this is a bad thing, but most people I know aren't into overseas films, cause they either a) hate reading subtitles, b) are perplexed by the often times different techniques and plots, or c) they're huge fans of Michael Bay.

Amelie is a movie I've heard of many times as you can find it in the DVD collection of most females. I've seen the cover many times, but never actually took the time to sit and view it.

Laced with amazing visuals Amelie tells the story of a cute meek girl who's normally prone to somewhat eccentric behavior, but filled with a good heart if not a great brain. After a moment of clarity while thinking about her own mortality Amelie decides to do have adventures with the people in her life. Her various deeds include matchmaking, standing up for the underdog, and helping her father realize his dream. All acts are deceptive, but brave and good natured and often times funny.

Soon Amelie takes such clever antics and applies them to her love life. Trying to meet her soul mate, who's an eccentric man who collects discarded photo booth pictures, she crafts devious ways for him to follow clues to find out who she is. The man is a strange one, but a romantic at heart and follows the map to find the mystery woman.

Sure the plot is simple and the devices may seem far fetched, but Amelie is a touching story of a young woman's search for happiness given her sheltered soul. The subplots are well done as every character no matter how minor is interesting if not highly amusing. This film is one of the few foreign films to really become a huge hit in North America. Entertaining and visually impressive I highly recommend this to anyone who may still believe that joy is still possible in a world of anger and bitterness.

Thanks to WIGSF for submitting this.

Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see it soon on Erik's Ramblings. Rules are posted here.

"Fairly irresistible if you can keep your cynicism in check for a couple of hours." - Lou Lumenick

Mar 5, 2008

Wiwille is disturbed

Since the glorious creation of tubes that serve the online world my eyes have come across many things. Yes from typical news browsing to the viewing of the ladies who don't wear clothes the Internet has been a great source of information for laughing at people and viewing of poorly written blogs such as this one.

Today I've seen the most disturbing thing I've ever seen. No I'm not talking about those two girls and their glass. As alluded to before I've watched many things such as beheadings, a person's head getting stuck in an elephant's behind, and harsh war footage. All of that pales in comparison to what I saw earlier today.

I saw a clip of a solider holding a little puppy. It looked like the soldier was overseas, probably Iraq or Afghanistan (I'm not familiar with the landscapes of either as I've never been there). The soldier was holding him and smiling into the camera when for some reason he decided it would be a great idea to throw the puppy off the cliff. The little pooch yelped as he fell towards his demise.

Some say I shouldn't judge the soldier too harshly as they live in a world I can never imagine, but I say to hell with that. I've never in my life been so disgusted with such a cruel, foul act. I've bared witness to many, many disturbing images from my time as a photo lab tech till now, but I've never been more angry at...well that's a lie actually. I have seen something far more sick then what I just witnessed when I worked in a photo lab, something I promise I'll never blog about.

To the soldier I thank you for your service, but here's hoping you get sodomized by diseased Yaks.

No I won't post the video ever.

Isn't it strange that I'm more disturbed by the death of a dog than by peoples' limbs being chopped off? No?

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." - Bern Williams

Mar 4, 2008

Blogger Smurfs

Quite a while back I wrote a post where I created GI Joe characters for the people listed in my blogroll. I detailed characteristics I attribute to them based on what they chose to share with the blogsphere, but it was fun to write. I may have been completely off base considering most of my readers have never met me face to face. Most that do know me believe that my blog is not an accurate representation of myself (I tend to agree) and the same may be said for those I haven't encountered, but I'm still arrogant enough to believe I'm on the mark.

Given the recent release of one of my favorite cartoons from my childhood on DVD I decided to do a similar post involving the Smurfs. Much thought went into this as hours were spent haggling over the details listed so you better be appreciative of the hard work the staff at Erik's Ramblings put in to bring you quality blogging.

Okay I have nothing to write about and am not above repeating material. Sue me.

The Muzzy Blog (Alec's Blog) - Nerdy Smurf: On a steady diet of video games, financial wizardry, and tech knowledge Nerdy Smurf spends most of his day preaching the gospel of proper computer usage.
Blog.As.You.Are (Pablo's Blog) - Mexi Smurf: As this Smurf ages he believes it's good to write everything in verse. Constantly referencing his youth in Latin America is his forte, but most of his rhythms fly over the head of his forced audience.
The Inexcusable (Matt's Blog) - Badass Smurf: The only Smurf who refuses to wear a ridiculous hat despite the lack of hair, but finds nothing silly about wearing a white kilt. Badass Smurf is the muscle in the fight against Gargamel, who he compares to Hitler and ever worse Bush.
Caliban's Journal (Jeff's Live Journal) - Geeky Smurf: Having a sound mind that commands a litany of useless information Geeky Smurf spends his time being a consultant to various Smurfs that are behind the scenes in comic book and sci-fi film production. Often times when writers stray from previous story canon Geeky Smurf becomes violent.
Foster Communications - Nanny Smurf: As childcare can become an issue in the Smurf Village Nanny Smurf ensures the kids play safe around each other and don't stab each other in prison yard fashion.
Pog - Bestest Smurf: Bestest Smurf is the only Smurf who had the honor of naming himself, yet he chose this one. He is constantly brawling with Vanity Smurf over who's the best looking and for the eye of Smurfette.
Grace - Study Smurf: A professional student Study Smurf spends most of her time finding ways to not hit the books, but come crunch time no one hears from her.
Claire - Travel Smurf: Traversing the landscapes outside the Smurf village Travel Smurf spends her time absorbing the culture of other Smurfs as well as dropping infrequent notes wishing her hometown friends well wishes.
Miss Ash - Chesty Smurf: Often complaining about the lack of eye contact from the male Smurfs, Chesty Smurf can be found watching bad television and playing sports in revealing outfits.
Big Ben - Horny Smurf: As a rule Horny Smurf is a decent Smurf, but was once disciplined by Badass Smurf for wearing his hat on questionable parts of his anatomy.
WIGSF - Angry Smurf: Angry Smurf is constantly seen at the Smurf town square denouncing the socialist economy currently employed by the village and calling for an end to the totalitarian rule of Papa Smurf.
Scott - Indie-rock Smurf: A mostly good natured Smurf who's really into modern music Indie-rock Smurf currently awaits trail for his assault on Harmony Smurf, who played Nickleback on his trumpet.

I think that's enough for now.

"Nature Smurf, this time your love of animals has gone too far." - Papa Smurf

Mar 3, 2008

Give generously

I was reading important news when I came upon this story. Also the good Miss Ash made sure I was fully aware of this as well. My Blogger buddies are always looking out for me.

When someone thinks of good works you should think of only one person and that's Scarlett Johansson. Sure there's that whole nun in India and that guy who had a dream, but the actress is offering her dating services for charity. Yes you can win a date with the lovely starlet via Ebay auction. The details include a rendezvous with her at the premier of her new film 'He's Just Not That Into You', which is ironic when you think about it. According to the news item she'll hand you a hand written note.

I wonder what that note will say. Is it going to be one of those 'do you like me check the box' kind of notes? Will it say 'this is as far as you're going to get with me tonight' or 'come any closer and my security guards will make sure you piss blood tomorrow'?

Since this is for a good cause I call upon everyone to submit large amounts of cash to me to win this auction. Yes I know I'm busy solving the world's problems, but I think I can take the time from saving orphans from rebel fighters in Africa and curing hemorrhoids to help Scarlett give to charity. It's for the greater good. Yes a good well rounded, big beautiful cause. I for one am about embracing such charitable acts with my ever loving being. Sometimes I can handle two at a time as long as they're worthy of such attention.

Why I'm not a Nobel lauret I'll never understand.

"I hope they make a video game of me. At least I wouldn't have any cellulite then." - Scarlett Johansson

Meet Scarlett Johansson! 2 Red Carpet Premiere Tickets

Mar 2, 2008

Moving day with Wiwille

Friday was moving day for me. While this is not interesting in and of itself the company I kept was entertaining to say the least.

My new roommate Pablo threw out his back so he recruited some friends of his girlfriend to help out. I show up at his place to help move his stuff and I come across two young burly looking guys Mitch and Brennan. Both had a rural demeanor, but seemed like pleasant folk. We loaded the truck pretty quickly and as I stepped up onto the Uhaul to shut the door I hear a noise. The sound that almost echoed the neighborhood was my jeans ripping right up my crotch. Brennan looks at me and states that he heard a rip. I told him that it was indeed the case. Considering my pants were all packed up I couldn't change them. Sigh.

We drive the Uhaul to my place and quickly pack the truck till it's full and start to head out. I ride with Mitch and Brennan in the Uhaul as we make our way down Martin Luther King Jr Blvd. We start to drive by the memorial park dedicated to the civil rights leader.

"Look Mitch," Brennan says. "It's Martin Luther King Park."

"Hey," Mitch exclaims. "Is that where they shot the nigger? Hahahahaha"

I shoot him a look as we sit in silence.

"Oh," he says with a bit of embarrassment. "I'm sorry. We're from Buckley."

"Well," I said. "I'm from Longview."

"Same thing then," he said with a laugh.

"Not in this case," I said.


"Never mind."

We travel down MLK to Rainier Ave. As we travel to Renton the boys were making all sorts of black jokes making fun of spinning rims, jeans that are worn around the mid thigh, and various other items associated with young black culture. We drove at a slow pace through the neighborhood. We pass all sorts of graffiti soaked buildings, bars in windows of various homes, cars that look and sound ridiculous. The boys kept making fun of everything they saw. I want to say something, but I don't. I just sit and keep quite as they tuned the radio station to modern country and bragged about their big diesel trucks. Sigh.

We arrive as the new place and get ready to unload the truck. Next to us is a cute girl in short pigtails. Dressed in tight jeans and even tighter shirt she was bent over under the hood of her car filling it with oil. Mitch makes comments about how he'd fuck that until he dies, then goes over to offer assistance. Him and Brennan help the girl up and chat her up a bit as they deduce the issue with her car. I keep hauling items up to the place as they both try and charm the girl.

As luck would have it her boyfriend shows up. He gets out of the car and introduces himself as I'm still unloading the truck with an exposed crotch. The girl calls a tow truck and her and her mate cuddle up against the car. Mitch makes comments to me about how she's been looking at him while touching her guy.

"Yeah," I say. "She's all about you."

"You know it," he says. "That guy doesn't know how close he is from losing his girl to me."

I could tell he wasn't kidding. Considering Mitch believes he's the funniest guy on the planet and laughs at all his jokes you know he's serious when he says something without chuckling.

Truth is this girl's boyfriend was really good looking. He's far more attractive then any of us, especially me with week old scruff, tattered tshirt, and jeans with a huge hole that shows off my boxers. Still one can always dream.

The boys did remind me of people I grew up with which is sad when you think about it. I probably should've lectured them about the benefits of not making racial jokes, but like my hometown friends they had to experience life outside their bubble to really have that hit home. I guess I can admire someone for speaking their mind no matter how disgusting their speech can be, but these guys just happen to be less educated than most and are really a product of their environment, just like the people they ridicule.

All this being said we couldn't have moved so quickly and efficiently without their help. I gave them some cash for helping us out as they did say they were unemployed. I'm grateful for their help if not their company.

"A man who won't die for something is not fit to live." - Martin Luther King, Jr.