Dec 30, 2011

Traveling to North Korea.

As I've written about before, I'm largely ignorant of North Korea. Granted this is largely due to the fact that they're isolationists of the highest order and rarely is western media allowed into the country, but still outside of the revolution and the Korean War (Police Action) I have a hard time even remembering the name for the country's founder. Most communist revolutionaries come to mind rather quickly (Pol-Pot, Castro, Lenin, and Mao), but the glorious founder of North (Best) Korea is largely absent from the Western collective concious.

Now that Kim Jon Il's is dead, and most of the world is happy to be rid of him, nations are anxious to see how their foreign policy will change, if any. After watching the below documentary, I have my doubts that the country is even interested in becoming a better neighbor in the world community, much less South Korea. I highly recommend viewing it:

"All of North Korea is a jail." - Kim Y. Sam

Dec 28, 2011

Wiwille's best and worst films of 2011

Now that I'm married and have a kid I rarely go to the cinema, which is a shame. I love films (you knew that), but I wait until they come to a format I can watch at my leisure. Still it's time for my annual best and worst list of the films I made time to sit through.
1. X-Men: First Class: After watching the abomination that was X-Men Orgins: Wolverine I was less than estatic about this, but I was pleasantly surprised with the story and the above average acting from most of the cast. I think the writers made a good choice in it's historical setting, and really brought a sense of wonder back to superhero films.
2. The Tree of Life: Another film I was expecting to not like, but enjoyed immensely. Some may call it pretentious Malik being all pretenciousy, but I found it to be a beautifuly shot film about the nature of life. It worked for me, which is surprising since I'm not one to worship at the feet of all thinks Malik.
3. Thor: Another film I expected to hate, but again it struck me how much attention to detail the filmmakers gave it. With a script littered with Shakesperean themes and a great performance by Anthony Hopkins I found this to be a refreshing change from comic book films that have little if nothing to say (I'm looking at you Iron Man).
4. Bridesmaids: Unlike the often compared to film that is The Hangover, this has an actual story and characters you can either relate to or actually know in real life. Plus it's amusing and the script let's the talent of the actors really shine. I haven't laughed harder with a film this year.
5. Captain America: The First Avenger: I know you're probably thinking enough with superhero movies, but this has to be included for the atmosphere alone. Not exactly a gripping story, but a decent orgin story was created for this iconic superhero that is just plain fun.
6. Limitless: Not exactly high-brow cinema, but it has style and an intriguing enough plot that kept me hooked.
Ok so the list is less than arty, but I haven't had time to see things I really wanted yet.
And now for the worst:
1. Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon: Big, loud, stupid. The plot is so silly even twelve year olds would have to roll their eyes at it, plus there's not a single moment in the film where you're asked to connect with any character what so ever.
2. The Hangover Part II: Same as the first with a different setting, except it wasn't funny at all. It was like hearing the same joke over and over again.
3. Green Lantern: Even the worst comic book films often times give you a sense of wonder at the majesty of a hero's power (Superman Returns), but this had nothing. The main character was horribly uninteresting as well the ridiculous and confusing plot was just draining. It possibly could've worked if it had a sense of humor about itself, which the screenwriters tried to go for, and failed.
"We all love a good creation myth. That's partly why X-Men: First Class is such fanboy fun." - Rick Groen

Dec 27, 2011

A day in the life of Wiwille

As you probably gathered, my life has changed completely since the baby arrived. Longtime readers will remember the days where I woke up, worked, came home, drank more than was safe or reasonable, involved myself in drama I never wanted nor needed, and repeated the process over and over again. Now I'll give you a tasted of what's it's like to be Wiwille today:

6:30am: Wife wakes me up and announces the baby is up. Groggily go into the kitchen, make a bottle, and get other items ready for the wife to do her motherly duties. Go back to sleep. Wake up again fifteen minutes later to let the dogs out.

7am: Wash used bottle. Get up and get ready for the gym. Go to gym and workout while watching bad morning news shows.

7:45am: Go home and shower.

8:30am: Sit down and log into work. Let the dogs out. Make breakfast and coffee.

9:30am: Wife announces baby needs attending to. Make bottle and gather items for the wife to do her motherly duties. Feed and change baby if wife needs a break.

10am: Wash used bottle. Log back into work. Attend a meeting and pray the baby will sleep through it.

10:30am: Let the dogs out.

11:45am: Log back into work. Try to complete a task.

12pm: Go grab lunch for you and the wife.

12:15pm: Start to eat lunch, but baby needs another bottle. Make bottle and gather items for the wife to do her motherly duties. Feed and change baby if wife needs a break. Spend the rest of the hour with baby, because it's kind of awesome to do so.

1pm: Wash used bottle. Log back into work. Try to complete a task. Have television playing in the background.

2p: Make snack. Let dogs out. Throw in a load of laundry.

2:15p: Log back into work. Try to complete a task.

3p: Wife announces baby needs to eat. Make bottle and gather items for the wife to do her motherly duties. Feed and change baby if wife needs a break.

3:30p: Wash used bottle. Log back into work. Try to complete a task.

4p: Blog. Fold laundry.

4:30p: Ask wife about dinner. Cook or go out and get said dinner.

5p: Sit down to eat said dinner. Wife announces baby needs to eat. Make bottle and gather items for the wife to do her motherly duties. Feed and change baby if wife needs a break. Watch dinner get cold.

5:30p Eat remaining dinner. Log back into work to see if any last minute items need attending to. Watch television with the wife.

7:p: Let dogs out.

7:30p: Wife announces baby needs to eat. Make bottle and gather items for the wife to do her motherly duties. Feed and change baby if wife needs a break.

8p: Wash used bottle. Do dishes. Go back to watching television with wife.

9:30p: Wife and baby go to sleep. Go play video games.

10p: Let the dogs out.

10:15p: Go back to playing video games.

10:30p: Wife announces baby needs to eat. Make bottle and gather items for the wife to do her motherly duties. Feed and change baby if wife needs a break.

11p: Wash used bottle. Turn off Xbox. Go to sleep.

1a: Wife announces baby needs to eat. Make bottle and gather items for the wife to do her motherly duties. Thankfully the wife lets you go back to sleep while doing said motherly duties.

3:30a: Wife announces baby needs to eat. Make bottle and gather items for the wife to do her motherly duties. Thankfully the wife lets you go back to sleep while doing said motherly duties.

6:30a: Wife get the idea.

I wouldn't change my new found life for anything.

"Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other." - Edgar Watson Howe

Dec 26, 2011

Wiwille's movie reviews part 85

You young readers may not be aware of the 80s, but to those growing up in it recall it mostly consisted of fear of everything. Parents in the 80s were glued to talk shows and the like, trying to learn about the latest trend that would turn their precious little snowflake into a coke snorting, satan worshipping, goat rapist.

The satanic panic is one I remember with not so fond memories. Thanks to the journalists with a less than stellar moral code and the neurosis of many, those with children were frightened of harmless things such as heavy metal music and role playing games, one of which was the popular Dungeons and Dragons.

I only played Dungeons and Dragons once, but I ended up getting in a fist fight with the game master and that ended my role playing career. I did enjoy the game, but even as a kid I lost interest quick realizing how much of a money pit it was, and how I couldn't afford it as there was no way my folks would ever buy that stuff for me. They were told by their church and friends that D&D would lead to things such as pagan worship and suicide, and of course believed all of it, because Satan was lurking at every corner after their children.

A cautionary tale was made to warn parents of the dangers of role playing games in the format of a made for TV movie called "Mazes and Monsters." Starring a young Tom Hanks as Robbie, the film starts with three college students convincing Robbie to play a role playing game. Robbie at first relents as he just promised his folks he wouldn't, but of course there's an attractive woman in the group so he has to go.

Robbie then becomes obsessed with the game and his character. He abandons his love life and cares less about his studies. He starts dreaming of the game and a mysterious man who tells him how to live. Why this happens is anyone's guess, but it's assumed he's mentally ill. He leaves school and becomes a missing person as he wanders around New York looking for the "Great Hall" he's been dreaming about, and ends up stabbing a thug in the process. A man hunt ensues for Robbie by his three friends who are certain he may hurt himself as he can't distinguish reality from the game.

My god this movie is horrible. Not only is it satanic panic propaganda, but it's so horribly dated and incompetent that instead of warning viewers of the so called dangers of role playing it ended up being a laughable piece of work. Propaganda should be anything but dull, and this is a great cure for insomnia.

I've had this sitting in my queue for almost a year as WIGSF requested it a long time ago. Why it's even out on DVD is a mystery as there's no reason to watch this outside of a morbid curiosity. Put any interest aside as it sucks. I should add a rule that anyone who submits films this bad will be kicked in the crotch repeatedly.

Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see
it soon on One Bad Apple. Rules are posted here.

"Although intended as a cautionary tale, it's far more likely to inspire snickers than shudders." - James Sanford

Dec 23, 2011


Now that I'm a parent, sleep is something that is foreign to me. It's not that bad really as I got enough practice at giving up slumber when the wife was pregnant. Still sleep is something I kind of miss, as I get very little.

Whenever I express my newborn duties, the childless of my friends express their sympathy; however those with children seem to laugh at my exhaustion. It's sort of like how people watch a guy get kicked in the nuts, and laughter ensues. Pain is comedy for most, for whatever reason.

My parents, naturally, seem to enjoy the misery that is my lack of REM sleep. I guess becoming a parent means you have to take pleasure in the pain of others.

It's all worth it though.

"Babies control and bring up their families as much as they are controlled by them; in fact the family brings up baby by being brought up by him." - Erik H. Erikson

Dec 19, 2011

Homefront may not be just a video game...

Kim Jong Il (not pictured here) is no longer ronery. Ok that was a cheap joke, but I'm kind of surprised about the mix feelings from the world community about his passing. China still considers the barbaric country a close friend, which I guess shouldn't be shocking. Russia seems to want to stay friendly with the regime that doesn't seem to mind seeing it's citizens starve or have basic human rights.

The west is less than kind to North Korea, or Kim Jong's memory. I'm kind of indifferent to his death. Sure he was a horrible leader and a terrible human being, but he was just incompetent enough to not be a threat to anyone, but his own countrymen. Now that he's gone, little will change probably. If I had any hope that North Korea could progress into a country seriously interested in peace for the region, then I might care, but there is none. The North Korean people seem to be under massive discipline and even through the oppression the government is their savior.

My friend Tad, aka Kim Yoon Sup, pictured above, should take his rightful place amongst his people.

"Overall relations between the North and the South have developed in favor of national reconciliation, unity and reunification." - Kim Jong Il

Dec 16, 2011

Nigeria sucks.

I spoke with my parents the other day when mom informed me she had an "evil" phone call the other night. An office from the Department of Homeland Security phone them and informed my mother she had won a Reader's Digest sweepstakes totalling $490,000. All she had to do was send the Department of Homeland Security $2,000 to claim her prize.

Thankfully she didn't fall for the scam and informed the FBI. The office she dealt with looked up the number that appeared on the called ID originated from somewhere outside the US, and as such there was nothing they could do.

So the pig fucking scammer not only called my folks, which boils my blood, but is so stupid as to identify himself from the Department of Homeland Security. Why they didn't say they were from Reader's Digest is anyone's guess, but since these people have as much talent at scamming as a Colt's receiver does at catching footballs I wouldn't expect sound judgement from them.

The Nigerian scam has been with us for many years, well before the internet, but it's growing with frequency as people, few as they may be, are still falling for it.

"I don't think I'll ever escape the fact that I don't belong anywhere in particular. I've often dreamed about going back to Nigeria, but that's a very romantic notion. It's a hideous country to go to in reality." - Hugo Weaving

Dec 14, 2011

Trust him, he's a "doctor"

My wife hasn't been feeling well since labor. Due to a painful experience of the anesthesiologist taking up to an hour to apply the epidural, and sitting in a hunched over position while waiting for it, she started having back spasms and the like. Headaches have ensued while she's also suffered various aches in her neck and back.
Frustrated that time hasn't alleviated her symptoms, we got desperate and made an appointment for a chiropractor. Now I'm no fan of the practice. I understand some people swear by it; however my experience with them have been less than positive. Granted the adjustments feel good, but I found that I could just replicate the results by constantly stretching and exercising.
We went largely to see if we could rule out the possibility of the epidural causing the pain or if it was the result of her back being in a largely unnatural state for a prolonged period. I was skeptical if chiropractic care was the answer, but was again a bit desperate to learn more about my wife's illness.
We go into the clinic and instantly there was a red flag. I saw a brochure about a weight loss program the Dr endorses, and in huge letters it talks about the homeopathic weight loss medication called HCG, which has just been ordered under a massive recall by the FDA for...wait for it...having no proven effectiveness. Plus it's homeopathy, which is bullshit of the highest order, but I kept my mouth shut hoping that we would learn something.
The doctor introduced himself and the wife explained her symptoms. The doctor then went on a rant about epidurals and how women should just be taught to 'tough it out'. I wanted to punch the fucktard in the fact, not only for being a hawker of snake oil, but for being an insensitive prick. Luckily he caught himself by telling the wife he wasn't suggesting she wasn't tough, but that it is his opinion that women should do things natural, and that's why his last two children were all home birthed. I didn't feel like debating the fact that most of nature would like to kill you, as there's no changing the mind of a respected physician, but it crossed my mind.
Anyways he gave the wife an adjustment, which didn't help at all, and asked her to follow up with him later, which we'll never do. Hiring a witch doctor would've had the same effectiveness, and would've at least been entertaining.

Dec 13, 2011

Wiwille creates life.

"Jumping Jesus," I shouted. "I got to go. I'm going to be a daddy."

I was running a meeting at work when I received the text message from my wife that her water broke. Everyone told me to get off the call and get to the hospital. At home I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to pack last minute items. I drove to the hospital, sent texts and made phone calls to appropriate folks, and went to the room to see how Kelly was doing.

Labor is kind of like combat, it can be hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror. For most of it I sat around and greeted people who stopped by, tried to keep my wife as comfortable as possible, and tried to keep my mind occupied. Then, after over 17 hours the nurse decided it was time to push.

Now I expected to be in the room and coach my wife through the process, but I had no idea how much of an active participant I would be. In the old days fathers just chain smoked in the waiting rooms, cigars and whiskey ready to be passed out. The nurse ordered me and my mother in-law to grab the wife's legs and press them up against her as she made each push. The nurse then took out a sheet and tied a knot on each end and asked me to do a tug of war with Kelly as she pushed. The wife was getting exhausted as pushing took over an hour and a half, but finally the doctor showed and it was time to meet our daughter.

The wife pushed the head out and the doctor grabbed the baby's head and twisted it, making me think she may be crushing it. I wanted to punch the physician, but of course I trusted the fact that she knew what she was doing. For those who've never seen their wife in labor, I was shocked at how much adrenaline was running through me. Actually, I've never had a bigger rush, and this coming from someone who used to jump out of planes.

They finally let me hold my new baby girl, and I never felt more happy nor proud.

"I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper." - Emo Phillips

Dec 7, 2011

Wiwille's movie reviews part 84

Sometimes it's great to fantasize about being able to altar the course of history. You've been in those conversations about if it's moral to kill Hitler before he became the Furher, or whether you could stop the career of Nickleback.

"The Final Countdown" plays with this idea. It's the story of the aircraft carrier Nimitz, which sounds like a schoolyard bully's taunt. Regardless this 80s carrier has aboard a civilian observer, played by Martin Sheen, and an old fashioned captain played by Kirk Douglas. The carrier leaves Pearl Harbor for a routine voyage, but is then transported back in time to Dec 6th 1941, the day before the Japanese attack Hawaii.

After some initial confusion the captain finally accepts that the impossible has happened. He picks up two boaters who have come under attack of Japanese Zeros, as well as one of the pilots who was shot down by the American jets. One of the boaters is a senator who when he learns of the plot tries to warn the naval base, but is laughed at.

The captain has a decision to make, attack the Japanese fleet with all the might of his overwhelming superior weapons and save thousands of lives, or not altar the course of history. After much debate he finally makes his decision...

"The Final Countdown" is extremely dated, with awful special effects and horrific music, but it's not without merits. The acting by the leads is far better than expected and the plot is interesting, even if the dialogue is not. There are some impressive flight scenes that would even rival "Top Gun", but largely the military readiness shots are straight out of a recruiting video.

I would recommend it based upon said strengths, but the ending is a cop out of the highest order and really made the viewing experience not a worth while one.
Thanks to Greg for submitting this. Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see it soon on One Bad Apple. Rules are posted here.

"A solid movie with a lousy ending." - Walter Chaw.

Dec 5, 2011

Bad Movies I Love part 31

Some bad movies are best remembered when you're young. I recall watching "The Warriors" for the first time when I was in my late twenties, based on numerous recommendations. I didn't care for it, but others who do seem to do so based on their memories from when they were twelve years old. We all have those films that are best preserved in the databanks of our youth, such as my love for movies such as "Rad" and "Red Dawn".

I recently watched "They Live", directed by John Carpenter, on Turner Classic Movies, of all channels. I've heard it quoted endlessly in my younger years, but never took the time to view it in it's entirety. After watching it I was dissapointed I waited so long to see this classic, dark comedy/sci-fi film.

"They Live" tells the story of a transient referred to as Nada. He meets Frank at his newfound place of employment, who takes him to a homeless dwelling for food and shelter. The church across the street has some strange doings, so naturally our hero decides to investigate. He finds it's a front for some weird sciencey devices. Confused, he leaves.

The next day police raid the shantytown and bust it up. The church goers leave in a hurry, so afterwards Nada looks through the church and finds a pair of sunglasses. He puts them on and sees that all media contains subliminal messages, like "Obey" and "Marry and Reproduce" and "Consume". He also sees some of the citizens as aliens, who control said media, which freaks him the hell out. He then aquires weapons and decides to fight the alien menace, as only a John Carpenter hero can.

"They Live" is a b movie in almost every fashion, but the story and the one liners are very entertaining. It does make fun of consumer culture, which is often an easy target, but surprisingly it's really funny and subersive. The movie has charm, even though the acting ranges from bad to unwatchable. The plot has holes, but I'd watch the movie again just to see Roddy Piper deliver such awesome lines such as "I have come here to kick ass and chew bubble gum. I'm all out of bubble gum", which is delivered at random.

I could only recommend maybe a handful of B-sci/fi films, but this is definitley one of them, maybe even at the top of my list.

"Carpenter's ability to fuse the bawdy humor and action with an intelligent script make for a genre film that is both thoughtful and entertaining." - Derek Smith

Dec 1, 2011

Wiwille is not a good leftie.

I feel like a terrible liberal when I admit that I don't find Jon Stewart nor Stephen Colbert that funny. It's almost hard to come out with it, as if I should hold my head down in shame as I don't worship at the altar of comedians who aren't as humorous as they and their audience think they are. The Daily Show and the Colbert Report are similar to watching modern SNL, you might get one chuckle in a half hour viewing. The rest of the jokes makes me scratch my head and wonder how the audience didn't see the punch line coming 20 seconds before it was delivered.

One of the reasons I was so happy to see Bush leave office is I didn't have to hear Stewart do that lame impression of him anymore. I could only stand watching him raise his fist in the air and damn something unrelated to whatever he was talking about so many times where even in my most bored moments I couldn't struggle a smile.

Granted Stewart has his moments, as does Colbert, and when they're on they're hilarious and insightful. Problem is that lasts maybe 12 seconds. I remember seeing Stewart take on the host of Mad Money and give him the what for and expected the poor bastard to answer for all of CNBC lack of journalistic excellence in the wake of the then new recession. We learned absolutely nothing from that interview, yet somehow Stewart was proclaimed a hero on the left, someone who took someone to task for all our sorrows. As if the host of an afternoon television show was responsible for poor mortgage lending.

Now I like it when Stewart verbally spars with people that actually matter in the public discourse, but what really bothers me is why he hasn't taken Adam Sandler to task for making unwatchable films and marketing them as funny. If he really cared about his audience he'd make sure to never have Sandler on the show to promote his mediocre films ever again.

Colbert's act is just getting old and the jokes are pretty stale. His writers only have to replace a few nouns here and there for each show and they're done. It just feels lazy each and every time.

Being fresh with material on a daily basis can't be easy, but at least be somewhat funny when you're being insightful or pretentious. Audiences are very forgiving, even when the host is being an arrogant ass. Bourdain's made a career of it, and he says nothing even remotely interesting.

Maybe I'm just missing the party, or I'm not as good a liberal as I think I am.

"I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president... and I just wanted to stop him and say, 'Dude.'" - Jon Stewart

Nov 29, 2011


Sadly, all of us have been touched by cancer in one way or another. We all know someone who has suffered from it, or at least the threat of it. The plague of the twentieth century has taken many lives, so it's no surprise that those diagnosed with the horrific disease can be desperate to find a cure.

Of course there are many who'll promise a cure, or at least a simple remedy, for a hefty fee of course. Not surprisingly, none if any of these miracle cures have actually been proven to work, but many in the "alternative medicine" business will defend the unscrupulous practice of selling snake oil to the sick and dying with the zeal of a religious fundamentalist.

This brings me to Dr. Stanislaw Burzynski, who operates a cancer treatment clinic out of Houston, Texas. He makes strong claims for something he calls antineoplaston therapy, which is found in urine and supposedly replaces missing peptides in the bloodstreams of cancer patients. It sounds like a reasonable way of tackling cancer, but as most things in medicine and life, if it sounds too good to be true, it often is. As I'm aware there have been no randomized clinical trials that prove this therapy to be effective at all. The FDA tried to bring down the hammer on Dr Burzynski, but an appeals court decided he could continue with the quack treatment, so long as he calls them trials instead of therapy.

So patients shell out hundreds to thousands of dollars to Dr Burzynski for a method that hasn't passed the test of science, of whom I can't really fault. If I or a loved one had cancer I can't say I wouldn't try anything to save them, even if it meant abandoning all sense or reason.

This brings me to Rhys Morgan, a seventeen year old blogger from the UK. He saw some of his fellow countrymen take donations from people in order to be flown to Houston for Dr Burzynski's trials. He wrote a factual blog about how it's a load of horseshit, so as alternative medicine practitioners do, Burzynski had his lawyer threaten a teenager with a libel suit. Morgan decided not to take this lying down and posted the exchange with the mentally challenged attorney online. I suggest reading about it here.

The lawyer, some fool with serious ethical issue named Marc Stephens, has also threatened other bloggers who have wrote about the quakassery of Burzynski, even going so far as to include his subjects' families in the correspondence. His incompetence has created the Streisand effect for Burzynski, and more people are being educated about what a fraud his claims are.

So why am I blogging about this? Well personally I have a special kind of hatred for 'alternative medicine' practitioners and their supporters, as they prey upon the sick and dying while selling snake oil. Homeopathy, anti-vaccine, and other nonsense have endangered public health with their bullshit. Even well meaning, intelligent folks subscribe to this, but they're just as guilty as those who know full well they're peddling crap to the weak and needy.

Also Rhys asked other bloggers to tell the story of Mr Stephens, attorney extraordinaire, and quack Burzynski, in hopes people actually take science seriously and maybe spend their money on finding a real cure for cancer. In Rhys' words:

"So in order to spread the word, I need your help. I would really appreciate
it if you could do the following two things:
Tweet about the Burzynski clinic. You could either write your own tweet or
you could retweet my suggested tweet: RT @rhysmorgan Patients need to know the
whole truth about Burzynski’s cancer treatment claims:
OR you could retweet this: RT @rhysmorgan Dr Burzynski does not want you to
know the whole truth about his cancer treatments, which is why he tried to sue
Add a link to this blog from your website so that it will increase the
PageRank for this blog so that when patients search for Burzynski, they discover
this blog as well as Dr Burzynski’s propaganda. This way, they can discover the
whole truth and determine for themselves whether it’s worth investing in his

Bravo to you Rhys and others who have been bullied by these jerks.

"I posted the blog so that patients, their friends and families would be aware of the whole story about Burzynski and his unproven therapy. I want them to be aware that the treatment seems to be in a constant cycle of trials generating unpublished results. As Dr Howard Ozer, director of the Allegheny Cancer Center in Philadelphia, said – it is scientific nonsense." - Rhys Morgan

Nov 28, 2011

We're all doomed.

The politics behind global warming has intrigued me for the past few years. America seems to stand alone in the global community with it's stubborn insistence that climate change isn't real, much less caused my pollution at the hands of it's own citizenry. I'm not exactly sure why the US is so opposed to it. Well I can speculate.

Of course Republican politicians don't want to buy into the science as they would have to admit the EPA is a good thing, causing their largest donors to have a coronary. The Christians hate the idea of the world choking on it's own excesses as that would mean Armageddon came from something other than a battle between Christ and Satan on some field in Palestine. Americans' fear science as they love conspiracies and are really uneducated about the scientific process, but can recite each character from Jersey Shore on cue.

Our president promised that we'd cut carbon emissions in half by 2025, but that was ambitious at best. To pass any serious climate change bill through Congress would be laughable if it weren't pathetic. The Tea Party Republicans would filibuster it at all costs, because freedom to pollute is paramount to a strong Republic.

The Kyoto protocols are up for renewal, and our country, along with China, won't be signing it again. Strange company we keep.

"Kyoto was a flawed process. There isn't one industrialized country around the world that has ratified that treaty, and so that is a non-starter." - Andrew Card

Ahead Of Climate Talks, U.S. Leadership In Question

Nov 21, 2011

Why I hate Black Friday, and so should you.

There are two kinds of American consumers, those who love Black Friday and those who can't stand the thought of being around a retail outlet on the wretched day. When I was young I was blissfully unaware that this god forsaken tradition existed, until I worked at a photo lab in a department store. They informed me of the holiday sales event, and I was to report for work at 5 in the morning.

I arrived at work to find a line of people at the door, salivating at the mouth at the laundry list of great savings on items no one needs. People were jumping in place, trying to stay warm in the wet Northwest winter, because hypothermia was worth the risk of a big screen television. These weren't just middle class folks living paycheck to paycheck, there were upper class folks selling their souls for a bargain, insuring that they stay in the tax bracket they felt was allotted to them.

Polaroid once decided to make 35mm film, which it quickly abandoned. As part of our Black Friday deal, we sold the stock at one dollar per role. (See kids, back in my youth there was a thing called light sensitive emulsion, which made photographs.) The doors opened and people ran to the electronics department, hoping to grab the best television and VCR. (Now kids, in the olden days we watched movies on a device called a Video Cassette Recorder. The movies were stored on a thing called tape, and we called them video tapes.) One man approached the photo counter and asked about how much polaroid film we had in stock. I answered and he decided to buy our entire supply, over two hundred dollars worth.

A while later a man came in with his wife and young son. He asked about the polaroid film, after I watched him read the sign I wrote up saying we were sold out. I answered while pointing to the sign that he just read. He was unhappy with my response and vocalized how unfair it was he wasn't going to partake in the super savings on 35mm film. I apologized that we were sold out and asked if there was anything else I could help with. He went on a rant about how much of an asshole I was for "false advertising" and he was "going to sue", which was dabbled with some mono-syllabic swearing.

So here I was, waking my ass up to be at work at 5am, but happy to do so as I had a great time with my family and was thankful for them and the many things I had in my life, including the shitty job I was underpaid for. This jackass who was lucky enough to have at least four days off in a row was yelling at me over the price of some film, which was of questionable quality. I attempted to be empathetic to him, but finally my patience ended when he decided to threaten me to a fight.

Yes the guy said he would be waiting outside of the store to "beat my ass". I have no idea what I said or did that said him off, probably nothing, but he seemed serious about going fisticuffs. I told him when I got off work and which row of cars I was parked in. He seemed taken aback by this and not surprisingly was nowhere to be seen when my shift was over.

We live in America, and to 80%+ of the world, our living standards are seen as luxurious. Yes including yours. So often to people forget how good they have it, and this jackass is no different, displaying his entitled whiny ass in front of his family no less, but he's not completely at fault. He's just a man following the commandment of good consumerism, a bill of consumer rights that's been fed to him since the day he received his first allowance. He feels he has a right to products at an affordable price, and anyone who stood in the way of his pollutant mentality is as tolerable as a Bolshevik. I was that enemy of the czar, and I was paid to take the abuse of this mindless idiot who had more time than he should've been granted.

That day a couple got into an actual fight, over a breadmaker. A fucking breadmaker was worth hurting another human being and going to jail for.

A lot of people don't have that Friday off, and end up serving the masses who are fortunate to have vacation time. They would like nothing better than to be home with their families and friends, eating leftovers and enjoying quality time with loved ones. Think of that when you shop for that shitty product you don't need, that will break right after the warranty expires.

"Thanksgiving is nothing but a toast to genocide." - Stephen Jones

Nov 18, 2011

Why I support the OWS movement.

Yesterday a friend of mine asked me if I support the OWS movement. I paused, thinking that really I have done nothing to give the protestors any kind of assistance. I haven't driven down to downtown Dallas to join their ranks, nor have I passed out food or anything of value. I would probably be unwelcome at any of their events anyways as drum circles make me violent.

Still I support the idea of protestors excersizing their rights to battle corporate corruption infiltrating our republic. In many ways they're like the Tea Party, except I haven't seen the rampant racism and general ignorance that their conservative bretheren have displayed with misspelled signs that spread mis-information and nutty conspiracies. Both have a lot of the same goals while their methods of acheiving it vary greatly.

People claim to be confused about the OWS message, but I can't understand why anyone with internet connection who spends maybe an hour consuming news can claim this. Sure there may not be one unifing message, which is fine considering the movement seems diverse. The tea party are a bunch of pissed off white people who think Obama is a socialist, Kenyan, and practicing muslim, so it's no surprise the partiers have a coherent thought process, insane as it may be.

Still I hear a lot of people bitching about OWS and I'm not sure why. I mean should we hold so much resement for folks so willing to excersize their constitutional right?

"Adversity makes men, and prosperity makes monsters." - Victor Hugo

Nov 16, 2011

Wiwille goes to Chuck E Cheese, ends well.

Sunday I was invited to go to a three year old's birthday party at Chuck E Cheese. When I told people about this they grinned and warned me about the outing. I didn't understand why, but I haven't been to one of their establishments in years.

I walk in their in the afternoon, beating the birthday folks by a few minutes. I sit down and soak in the atmosphere, which was an assault on the senses. Kids were screaming and games were blaring at a decibel that creatures on four legs could hear, the smells of pizza and wings fumigated the place. Merriment was being had by many a tyke, but the parents looked exhausted as they opened their wallets and seeing their checking account deplete as kids begged for tokens. I sat nervously as I know I'll be one of them soon enough.

The stage didn't contain the animatronic Pizza Time Players band anymore, which didn't please me. It was my goal to play it over and over again and watch the adults' blood pressure skyrocket, but alas. Instead it had some activities for birthday kids, which was just as well.

Hudson, the birthday boy in question, was having a grand old time playing the games and getting all sorts of attention. As he opened his gifts with his mom, he found mine, which contained some kiddie Star Wars action figures and a Darth Vader lightsaber. I soon drew the ire of his parents as he was excited about the plastic weapon, beating balloons and his grandpa was the way of the sith, and he was then crowned Darth Hudson. Yes I'm not a favorite amongst his parents anymore, but I assume they thought the display was cute and he was having fun.

After I left I thought about all the times I'll be dealing with screaming kids at birthday parties, and after this experience I'm actually looking forward to it, shocking as that may be. There's quite nothing like seeing a child's face light up when in a place they deem as cool, and I can't wait to see Kenadie's smile.

Nov 14, 2011

Another politician that sucks (shocking I know).

Some politicians would rather see the country be destroyed than admit the opposition was correct, and this can't be better illustrated than the recent behavior of the GOP. With their championing the insurance industry during the health care debate, even hinting that granny may face a death panel, and their opposition to any sort of financial bill that may have any success and help Americans keep their jobs, the Republicans cannot conceed defeat to an uppity Democrat.

Now this is nothing new. It's been the politics as usual since voting was made available to the public so long ago. The other day on member of the party of Lincoln sank to a new low, he denied businesses tax credits for hiring a veteran, because it's a trick of the Democrats. Senator Jim DeMint of South Carolina was really oposed to seeing Democrats use a tax break to appeal to business and veterans, so he thought maybe swinging their votes his way was to deny them a better chance at employment.

So while this stupid Congress reminds us of things we already know, such as the fact that 'Under God' exists in the pledge of allegiance, they actually do something useful for once. Yes instead of spending three days debating the name of a federal building they wanted to do something nobel and help veterans find employment that they may deserve. Not such luck with Senator DeMint, who stood alone. Why South Carolina residents haven't demanded a recall of that jackass yet is anyone's guess.

"I know what I'm about to discuss won't be very popular. I'll probably be accused of not supporting veterans by the politicians pandering for their votes, but I'm not going to be intimidated to vote for something that may make sense politically but is inherently unfair." - Jim DeMint.

Jim DeMint: Veterans Hiring Bill Is A Democratic 'Trick'

Nov 10, 2011


For those who have never lived nor traveled to the Northwest I have some breaking news for you, there are people so full of their redneck self in Washington they'd make your average rural Texan seem like an Ivy League educated individual. Yes it's true for I've lived among them, befriended them, learned their ways, and since I've moved to Texas I've known more northwesterners that are more stereotypical Texan than most Texans I know.

Yes my small town upbringing in Oregon and Southwest Washington has made me wonder why Texas is the butt of all jokes, when redneck ire can just be directed to Wenatchee, Longview, and the hell hole that is Yakima. Then again, Washington has never given the nation one of the worst Presidents in history, or any President for that matter. And Texas has a huge ego, so it deserves some scorn for it's fat head. Given the size and diverse population you'll always find some nut job who'll make the news doing something racist, and it can be on a daily basis.

Still Texas does have it's redeeming members, and today the Department of Motor Vehicles has done the state a favor by rejecting a license plate with the Sons of Confederate Veterans symboly, which contains the Battle Flag of Northern Virginia. Why they didn't use the Texas state Confederate flag is anyone's guess. The moron behind the idea of putting the flag on state property swears it's about commemorating soldiers and not politicians. Uh-huh. So why should Texans commemorate the soldiers of Virginia? Granted I get the Army of Northern Virginia was diverse when it came to which state each soldier hailed from, but I don't get what the point of putting this on a license plate is, instead of harming Texas' already fragile public image. I guess the DMV decided against putting the flag that was flown by traitors to the Constitution and who fought and killed for the right to own people was the right thing to do, because to adopt and honor those who held such values just doesn't make sense to any reasonable human being.

If you want to honor the fallen Confederate soldiers, there are many ways to do so instead of public funds. We have enough people trying to romanticise the antebellum south, which only existed in pulp-fiction and for the one percenters if you will, and if they want to have their revisionist history while celebrating those with twisted values, they can do it on their own damn dime. Why the Texas division of the Sons of Confederate Veterans hasn't adopted the actual

Bravo Texas DMV. Bravo to you.

BTW I've seen far more instances of Truck Nutz in the northwest than here in Texas. I'm not kidding.

"Our new government is founded upon exactly the opposite idea; its foundations are laid, its corner- stone rests, upon the great truth that the negro is not equal to the white man; that slavery subordination to the superior race is his natural and normal condition. This, our new government, is the first, in the history of the world, based upon this great physical, philosophical, and moral truth." - Alexander Stephens

DMV rejects Confederate license plates

Nov 8, 2011

Love makes you fat, being skinny makes you cheat.

They say loves makes you fat, and in my case it's true. Well love, and a big fat slab of BBQ and fast food. People often get comfortable in their relationships and slack off on having a keen diet and exercise. Pounds pack on for most couples.

This is not newsworthy, but the Daily Mail contends that people in a relationship who suddenly decided to lean up are secretly planning on upgrading their current significant others for someone else. Now this shouldn't be too surprising as losing weight builds confidence and those who are not secure in the idea of leaving their loveless relationship feel the need to start competing in the dating world.

But seriously, do all people just do this to look good? Whatever happened to the idea of wanting to see your grandchildren, or to just not waddle around and eat like Jabba the Hutt? Are we such a superficial society that only peer pressure to lose weight matters above all? The correct answer is yes, yes we are.

"In a happy partnership, people tend to get fat. With less competition, the weight difference is low." - Professor Thomas Klein

Nov 3, 2011

Conversations with Corey, which include inspiring words from Wiwille

In the few years I've blogged I've seen many others come and go. The statistic is most blogs last only a few months, and then people just either a) get bored, b) lack the creative juices to find a muse, c) try other artistic pursuits, such as learning how to play the spoons. My friend Corey is one such blogger, who decided to dive into the world of online publishing, but suddenly the posts stopped coming.

Listed below is a conversation him and I had about blogging:

Corey: I'm thinking of starting another blog...but one without my name in it...I wouldn't want anyone to know it's me...I just bought the domain...thinking about it...
Me: you bought the domain before you decided to write in it?
Corey: was 10 bucks year...I can swing that either way...figured I would buy it just in case..I suspect I will...I just need to write about something other then myself...or I will get bored.
Me: You can write about whatever you want, or whatever's inspiring you at the time.
Corey:'s just figuring out what I want to write about that is key...I will keep you posted...
Me: You can write about what it's like being sexually harassed by a black man running for president
Corey: hahaha...I'm not really an expert on the subject...but that never stops people from talking about things.
Me: You can write about how Michelle Bachmann has a penis that sings Disney showtunes.
Corey: yes...that is in fact an option.
Me: I would love to read about the adventures of Michelle Bachmann's penis trying to star in off Broadway plays.
Corey: I think you would love to write about it and you should my's your calling.
Me: It may just be

Blog about what you know I guess....

"All of the problems we're facing with debt are manmade problems. We created them. It's called fantasy economics. Fantasy economics only works in a fantasy world. It doesn't work in reality." - Michele Bachmann

Nov 2, 2011

I know there's a joke about not understanding this, but I refuse to say it

I sometimes fancy myself well versed in current events, but I'll humbly admit as awesome as I am at everything, I have no friggin clue what the hell is wrong with Greece. I remember the day when the Euro first came upon us, and a new enlightened economic age was sweeping the small continent, but as Europe does, they find a way to screw it all up. I would've expected such behavior from the Germans, as they're German, or the friggin Irish, but not Greece. Alas the country's economic inequality and deficit spending finally caught up with them and they're ready to take down the Euro and the rest of the continent with them.

So here we are, with a small country holding the world markets hostage, and today they're trying to pass their own spending referendum in spite of what the rest of the global leaders want. The region that invented democracy will use it to kill all of us while they sit around in togas and drink meade and take part as extras in a play laced with boy loving themes.

Bush would've invaded them long before this ever happened, pre-emptive economic strike or some shit. The Guns of Navarone were weapons of mass destruction after all. And we all know what happens when a European power goes into econmic turmoil and nationalism becomes the rallying cry for the populace.

"In Greece wise men speak and fools decide." - George Santayana

Nov 1, 2011

Wiwille on the mount

We're all aware of Mt Rushmore, the amazing sculpture that honors four Presidents. Today is it's 70th birthday, and some conservatives don't feel it's finished. While that's partially correct as the sculptor died before finishing Washington's waistcoat and Lincoln's arms, some are calling for Reagan to be included there was well.

I've written before how I don't understand the Republican love for a President who hasn't stood the test of history, but alas. We could just leave well enough alone as we already desecreated the Lakota's sacred mountain, but really, why put Reagan of all people? Why not Eisenhower or FDR? Or hell Polk?

I think they should put my likeness on their, but they didn't ask me, but if they put Reagan up there, I'll blast it so help me. How about saving the tax dollars it would take to put that simpleton up there and use it to teach children who these people actually were. And you know what using tax dollars to promote art is? That's right, socialism. And you know who else uses government money to support ideolgical propoganda for their country's founders? That's right, The Soviet Union! Supporting Reagan on Mount Rushmore is supporting communism.

“Reagan was the most successful president of the 20th century. He took a country that was in economic collapse and military in retreat round the globe and turned it completely around.” - Grover Norquist, Reagan Legacy Project Chairman

Room for Another Bust at 70-Year-Old Mt. Rushmore?

Oct 31, 2011

Wiwille's movie reviews part 83

Can't believe it's been over eighty films that has appeared on this list of movie reviews. It all started years ago with a simple idea of watching movies and writing about them, at the reader's request, so here goes with latest film, "When Worlds Collide".

"When Worlds Collide" is about an astronomer who discovers that a star is on a collision course with Earth, and is laughed at by the scientific and political community for his doomsday predictions. He has a few believers who fund his idea of building a spaceship to colonize a new planet around the new star. The construction of the ship doesn't go smoothly as people fight for a right to have a seat on it. A lottery is done to choose who gets to survive or not.

As expected the star comes closer and closer to Earth and wreaks havoc. Violence ensues when people start to riot for a place on the spaceship. Others countries build their own ships and have the same results. Finally the new astronauts take off into the cosmos to rebuild the human race at their new home.

"When Worlds Collide" is shot and set in the early fifties and the production shows. It's look is horribly dated. Like a lot of the sci-fi films at that time, it's plot is an allegory to cold war paranoia. Even with cheesy special effects and art design, it's a good story and far more believable than most current disaster films, and not as cynical. For an old sci-fi film it holds up rather well.

"Dated but enjoyable end of the world flick." - Ken Hanke

Oct 28, 2011

Overrated films part 30

Teens don't have discriminating tastes like most adults, who've grown to refine their aesthetics. Film executives know this, so when they're not using the heads of Philippine children as a soccer ball they're green lighting any crap that comes across their desk to exploit the hormonally challenged. Such has never been more apparent than the pop culture phenomenon, Twilight.

Set in rural Washington, the story is about a girl named Bella, who goes to high school and generally acts aloof and distance with people who want to be her friend for reasons we can't comprehend. She is intrigued with Edward, the mysterious boy who stares at her in a creepy fashion. After some supernatural events occur, Bella can only come to the logical conclusion that Edward is a 100 year old vampire who lusts after her blood, but is too taken with her to do any sucking. Bella spends the rest of the film biting her lip and being swoon by a man four times her age, all the while ignoring her less than fantastic friends.

I really don't get the appeal of the film as I'm obviously not the target audience, but beyond the creepiness of an old guy wanting a young girl I'm hard pressed to find anything aesthetically appealing. The acting really bad and the script won't allot the players to do much with the roles they've been given. Bella is far from interesting or like able, but mildly attractive so I guess that's all females should look to in a heroine. Edward speaks in Hallmark cliches that would be laughable anywhere else, but in this film the lines somehow strike a chord with tweens.

Kids have an excuse to like this wildly popular film, but adults don't. Parents don't seem to care that their kids like garbage, which is paramount to child abuse. Films like Twlight bother me in the lessons they give young girls, like it's great to like the dangerous guy who swoons all over you, age be damned. Go ahead and ignore your friends or academic life, because being in love is the most important thing in the whole wide world.

“Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend.” - Stephen King

Oct 27, 2011

Dave Ramsey is not a moron, but he plays one on the internet.

Sometimes you read something by an intelligent individual and wonder how they can come to such idiotic conclusions. Such is the case with Dave Ramsey, noted financial guru and master of self promotion. Dave Ramsey tries to pick apart the Occupy Wall Street movement in a manner so moronic you think no one had proofread it before he decided to share such lunacy with the public. Here are a few examples of this ridiculous essay:

"The only problem is that I have no idea what their (OWS) demands and goals are. And neither does anyone else." So let me get this straight, you claim to not know what OWS stands for, but then you continue this dribble by picking apart a lot of what they stand for. Huh.

“No Government Bailouts!”
Banks and big companies should not receive taxpayer money for a bailout while their CEOs are making hundreds of millions of dollars. If that’s your gripe, then you’re protesting in the wrong location. Pack up and head to Washington, D.C., to deliver your message to the current administration.
Why not protest at the source of the problem, such as the corporations who lobby for such ridiculous legislation? So all blame should lay at the feet of Obama, oh. Don’t get me wrong—I totally support a company’s freedom to pay their leaders well. I just don’t believe that I, as a taxpayer, should subsidize those huge salaries in the form of taxpayer bailouts. I pay my own team members; I don’t need to pay everyone else’s too.

By the way, you may be shocked to learn that the Tea Party agrees with you on this one—and so do I. No one is shocked to learn one. I know it must make you feel better to educate us on things we already know, so take your bath filled with Reeses Peanut Butter cups after you're done riding your high horse.

“Down With Corporate Greed!”
Gordon Gekko was wrong. Greed is not good. Greed is bad—very bad. It’s a spiritual disease, and it is a disease that sadly affects a lot of companies across the country. If you believe a specific company is acting purely out of greed, then don’t just get mad—do something.
They are doing something, bringing attention to the issue, or as you put it, spiritual disease. It may be too hippie-ish for your sensibilities, but they're taking action, such as unions did over a hundred years ago. Since you mention this, why not use the same point against your beloved Tea Party?
“Wall Street Is Evil!”
If you have this painted on a sign, well, now you just look ignorant. Wall Street is a street that people drive on. The New York Stock Exchange is a building where people exchange stocks in New York. This is the flea market of the financial world. Don’t turn Wall Street into some terrible monster attacking American citizens. It’s just a road with some buildings on it.
You know exactly what they mean you condescending ass clown. Unless you read a sign denouncing Wall Street and suddenly were confused that the street itself was in need of construction, then that says more about you than the protesters. When someone says Washington D.C. is corrupt do you think they're talking about the foundation issues of the buildings? They don't look ignorant as they expect the American public to use common sense when it comes to common terminology, especially one used for over one hundred years, unlike your moronic writing.
Ramsey goes on to denounce wealth distribution and asks protesters to get work and love this land of opportunity. I'm not sure why he cares enough to write such dribble that basically says "when life hands you lemons...." and denounce a grass roots movement that doesn't spend their time holding racist images of our President and misspelled signs about socialism and the like. He understand populism and it's effects on the economy. He knows the OWS movement can be taken far more seriously than the Glenn Beck led Tea Party. Instead Ramsey and his ilk would like to belittle it by grasping at straws. Sure he makes some good points about wealth distribution and I do recommend reading it, but the thesis is weak. Yes of course I came across this nonsense because some of my Facebook friends decided to share such lunacy, because protesters who don't march against abortion scare them, and they tried, in vane, to seem smarter than they really are.
"But if you take all of that energy and excitement and pour it into something new and creative, you’ll get the chance to serve a whole lot of people really well, and over a decade or two, you’ll get to become the very thing you’re now protesting: rich people who actually earned their money." - Dave Ramsey

Oct 26, 2011

Wiwille plays with the young.

Last night I decided to play Call of Duty: Black Ops, a game I haven't played in months, while killing time before "Sons Of Anarchy" aired. I got an invite to play along with my friend Mattbear, so I naturally accepted.

I was playing along, but couldn't hear anyone through my headset. I saw Mattbear in my sights and he wouldn't shoot me for some reason. I ran up and knifed him. I saw him shortly thereafter and did the same. Wow, Mattbear is really sucking it up I thought. This went on for quite some time till the game finally ended.

Finally my headset worked and I said hi to him, only to find a child's voice on the other end. Ye gods I was beating the crap out of his son. The ass kicking was so ruthless it showed Mattbear as my nemesis. I killed him a total of twelve times, as opposed to him killing me for four.

My mic kept cutting in and out, but another game commenced and I decided to play. Mattbear's son was on my team and he kept talking about the game, along with his other friends who were in the party, who were the same age as he is it seems. Listed below are some the highlights of their conversation:

Him: Kill him. Kill him till he dies!
Him: He's got the death machine. He knows what he's doing, not like us ten year olds.
Him: He keeps killing that one guy. I think that guy is going to tell his dad on him.
Him: My dad can beat wy-willy.
Him: I think that guy said the 'f' word. I'm going to kill him again.
Him: You're just stupid. Don't point that at me or I'm going to stab you until you bleed.

I felt bad as I was schooling these kids, so after the match I decided to leave. I put in Kinect sports to do some boxing. I played the mini-game where you're required to knock out as many opponents in a specific time. I saw Mattbear's score of 10 on the screen, beating my personal best of 9. This couldn't stand, so I played and made sure I scored 11 opponents, just because I'm competitive like that. I didn't cheat doing the Popeye punches either. It's the little things I guess. Now that I think about it, it was probably his son who got that score. I need to apologize to him.

"I just moved into the world of Xbox Live. And I've discovered that everyone on the Internet is a lot better than me. I spent half an hour the other day designing a boxer, and I got knocked out twice in the first round." - Daniel Radcliffe

Oct 24, 2011

Wiwille gives advice no one wanted nor needed.

Tonight I'll do something I haven't done on this blog. I'll answer a question featured in an advice column. Of course, said questioner will never see the answer I give, but I thought it would be fun giving unsolicited advice. Let's start with this dating gem from Dear Mrs. Web.
Q: Dear Mrs. Web,

I am 18 and a student. I recently slept with a guy at work and he has not paid attention to me since. I have totally fallen for him.

We have known each other since primary school and he always was shy. Why won't he speak to me, let alone date me?
A: Dear slutty student,
You've fallen for a guy who stops talking to you after sex? First off, what exactly did you expect? I never understood why women believe that after sleeping with a guy they're automatically owed a relationship, never mind simple attention. I'm going to break it to all women out there, a guy wants sex and if you give it up easily they're likely to claim mission accomplished and move on to the next girl who'll get naked with them. Your vagina isn't special and doesn't work like the Death Star tractor beam in reeling in boyfriends. Your co-worker got what he wanted and has moved on, or he's embarrassed about something. Maybe it's his performance. But that doesn't matter. The fact that you have fallen for him is the most troubling aspect of this, when he obviously hasn't even given you a relationship. You really need to set your sights higher and have some self worth to nab a man willing to give you what you would like, like companionship and maybe even a commitment. Your only 18, so I'll cut you some slack, but few men will give you any more than what it takes to get your pants off. In this case it sounds like your pants came off pretty easily for your co-worker. I hope you at least got an orgasm from this, because that's about all you'll be receiving from boys who can see you naked at the drop of a hat.
"Being somebody's tissue is not a good foundation to develop a relationship with any a second date." - Mrs Web

Wiwille's movie reviews part 82

Sci-fi can be a tough sell to audiences and Solaris is a perfect example of why. When you see movies such as Norbit and a Fast and Furious sequel top the box office you'll see little demand for slow moving story set in outer space.

Solaris is the story of Chris, a psychiatrist hired to investigate a recent suicide on a space mission around the planet of the same name. He arrives to find a two person crew who are somewhat desperate to get off the ship after strange disappearances of the rest. After a night's rest he dreams of his deceased wife, who suddenly materializes next to him. After the shocking rendezvous he confides in the crew about her, who relate as they've seen a lot of their loved ones as well, all due to the energy they're trying to harvest from the planet.

Solaris is slowly paced, but the photography is brilliant. Sometimes romantic, and often haunting, Solaris is a prodding story about humanity, love, and the possibilities of the hereafter. Some may find it pretentious, and may be bored as the story isn't original at all. I've never seen the source material, nor have any desire, but this is a remake I enjoyed; however audiences and critics weren't as kind to it as I am. Maybe after a few decades people will see it as the masterpiece it truly is.

Thanks to Tad for submitting this. Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see it soon on One Bad Apple. Rules are posted here.

"Many will justifiably find [it] a heady experience akin to 90 minutes of watching paint dry. Others will see that paint forming something close to a masterpiece." - Andrew Wright

Oct 21, 2011

Wiwille's movie reviews part 81

It's hard to imagine with how plugged in our society is that a big budget modern movie would fly beneath my radar. Such is the case with "Sunshine", which I never heard of, or forgot existed, until Tad demanded reviews of every film on this list.
I turned on the film yesterday not knowing what to expect. "Sunshine" tells the story of eight astronauts on a mission to save the dying sun, and ultimatley give humanity a chance to survive. The crew come across a ship that was long thought destroyed, but had the same mission. In their attempt to reconnect with the other crew everything goes wrong and the mission is jeopardized.
The film works as intellignet sci-fi for the first two acts. The dialogue feels genuine and the visuals are a treat. The third act descends into a cheap horror thriller and how the screenwriters thought they could blend the two is a mystery. The suspense for most of the film works though as the characters are shocking real and never take me out of the story. Danny Boyle creates a few gems in his career and this particular one is largely overlooked. At times it's a thinking person's sci-fi film, which I loved, and at others it's an action piece that drags the story. Stillm the visuals are compelling and it really puts the viewer into the world of space travel, and for that I would recommend it. If the film just centered it's third act around the natural elements being the real antagonist, I would've like it better.
Thanks to Tad for submitting this. Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see it soon on One Bad Apple. Rules are posted here.

"So, anyway, younger girls won't like this movie, unless they know what happens under an automobile hood. Younger boys won't like it because the only thing that's possibly going to blow up real good is the sun. But science-fiction fans will like it, and also brainiacs, and those who sometimes look at the sky and think, man, there's a lot going on up there, and we can't even define precisely what a soliton is." - Roger Ebert

Oct 19, 2011

Overrated books part 4

It's been a long time since I've written about books, but last night for reasons I can't really explain I watched the new Christian film called "WWJD?" It was not a good movie (shocking I know) but it hearkened me back to the time I decided to sit down and read "In His Steps, WWJD." This was many years ago, but the memories still linger.

Christian entertainment is frustrating to consume as the producers put message above art, making it a chore to sit through. Maybe that's due to budget constraints or sheer lack of talent, but if biblical epics prove one thing is that art can come first and make a compelling story. Movies like "Ben-Hur" and the "Passion of the Christ" are a good example.

Much like the Bible, many Christians claim to follow the tenants of "WWJD?", but have never read the thing. "In His Steps" is the tale of a small community church and it's pastor, who's sermon writing is interrupted by a man looking for work. He's brushed off by the man of the cloth and the community as a whole. The man returns during a church service and interrupts the sermon to proclaim how he's been an object that's been ignored by the town and asks them what Jesus would do, before he collapses.

The pastor has a revelation and asks his congregation to ask the same question in their daily lives. The stories of the few main characters parallel social ills at the time, which is no surprise considering it was written during the Temperance movement. The book then gives the reader the them that if you do as Jesus did, you would experience prosperity in the worldly life, which is something I don't get.

The book is not exactly known for it's literary prowess. The author didn't care about overuse of phrases, and some of the scenes are so ridiculous it's laughable. But "In His Steps" is rarely read for it's aesthetics as it's a teaching tool that was really embraced by the evangelical community in the 90s. It's heavy handed preaching of Christian socialism can be seen as contrary to the gospels oddly enough, but for those seeking the meek and mild teachings of Jesus rather than the violent beater of money lenders and supporter of gathering arms, this is the book for them. What really surprised me about the book is that the pastor character really promoted the idea of thinking as Jesus, but never really told his congregation what exactly Jesus did. The evangelicals would like you to think as Christ as the prince of peace and not the one that blessed those who suffer, for embracing wordly pain doesn't fill pews. I guess that's why this book is such a hit.

"This brings me to the issues that have given me pause and not just a little concern. First, a few minor points. The writing style is very poor. Superlatives abound in the descriptions of the effects of various decisions. "For the first time ever..." or "he had never..." or "Nothing had ever..." or "Such a thing had never..." - these overused phrases become old and trite in their use. Additionally, the plot becomes rather predictable. However, that being said, this book is perhaps rarely read for its fictional and linguistic prowess." - Stephen Escalera

Oct 18, 2011

Wiwille learns about birth

On Saturday the misses and I went to our childbirth class. We were the first ones there and got our choice of sitting on the comfy couch. The instructor greeted us and gave us a stack of reading materials to go over. Other couples filed in, who were further along then we are, and the class began.

The instructor introduced herself and the women in the class did as well. The men were mostly quiet, not knowing what to expect. The instructor was a grandmother who worked as a nurse practitioner for the OBGYN's office and started things off with showing us a video of a live birth.

I did not jump up and scream "OH MY GOD KILL IT WITH FIRE", as I warned the wife I may do, but I held it together. We watched some more videos about breastfeeding and no one laughed like Bevis, but it was interesting none the less.

And let me tell you, there's nothing less sexy than hearing a senior citizen announce they're currently doing Kegel exercises. Nothing.

So we're taking a tour of the maternity ward with the other couples and one of them had hair like Betty Boop and it smelled weird. She was a friendly gal, but her partner said little to nothing. A few questions were asked and I learned a few things, mainly never have any expectations during childbirth as anything can happen. I was daydreaming that my daughter would fly out of the womb and we were in the presence of Supergirl, but I kept that to myself. I don't think I have any Kryptonian blood in my family.
See my generation is the first of men that are expected to go through the entire experience of childbirth, where as our fathers just paced a hole in the floor smoking an entire pack of non-filtered Lucky Strikes. I'm actually glad I'll get to be there for the whole thing.

"On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars." - Bruce Willis

Oct 17, 2011

Wiwille's movie reviews part 80

Foreign films are a hard sell to most American audiences. Subtitles are not embraced in this country nor are themes that make people actually think. Generally America has a monopoly on Michael Bay crap and thankfully movie goers can opt out of seeing such mindless drek. While I'd love to think that America produces the best and the brightest in film, that is not the case as audiences won't allot.

Timecrimes is a film hailing from Spain. It's starts simply with a man and his wife arriving at a home they're remodeling. He sees a woman in the distance taking off her shirt and unsurprisingly goes to investigate. When he finds her he's attacked by a man whose head is wrapped in bandages and he flees to a scientists home, who hides him in a water tank. When the man goes out of the home he realizes he's just time traveled a few hours and in doing so investigates the events some more.

I can't give much more away as to do so would spoil the whole thing. Timecrimes is a thoughtful piece of sci-fi time travel genre as it follows the idea of man being beholden to their destiny. Logical implications of jumping the time line aside, this is an enjoyable film. The acting is very good, but the copy I had was dubbed, but it wasn't terrible voice overs. Hopefully I lost nothing of the dialogue. It's one people will want to watch a second and maybe third time to fully grasp the events of the non-linear story. The conclusion is up to the viewer and that in and of itself makes it a topic of conversation amongst film buffs.

Thanks to Tad for submitting this. Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see it soon on One Bad Apple. Rules are posted here.

"That rarest of rare things: an intelligent time-travel movie that actually holds together on closer examination." - Ken Hanke

Oct 14, 2011

I need beer

As a married man you are entitled to see places you've never thought existed. One of these places I ventured to last night was Bath and Body Works, the most emasculating place known to mankind.

Someone in the cosmetics industry decided to make women believe that humans smell like rotting corpses, so they must use products that in testing were applied directly to the eyes of kittens in order to smell nice. This has worked for many decades and considering the amount of products this store had it doesn't that's going to change soon.

The wife was doing some early Christmas shopping for the ladies in her life and asked me about each product, holding it under my nose and making sure I consumed enough scent, and if the recepient would like it. I felt as useless as Bill O'Reilly at a NOW convention. I assumed they would like the lotions as they smelled nice, but I'm clueless as to what women want when it comes to cosmetics, let alone a specific one. I shrugged often and nodded in approval, but I was of little assistance to her.

The clerk looked like she was in high school and had a cheery diposition. I'm sure it's hard for a girl to be grumpy in a place so fragrant. Maybe the lotions and such are filled with anti-depressants?

"I love to put on lotion. Sometimes I'll watch TV and go into a lotion trance for an hour. I try to find brands that don't taste bad in case anyone wants to taste me." - Angelina Jolie