Nov 28, 2007

They hate the football.

A few days ago a blogger from 7 Babes a Blogging wrote a critique on the sport of football. Apparently the female hates the sport most things associated with it, including Fantasy Football. Employing a writing prowess that resembled anything but wit the rant listed a few reasons for her hatred of the pigskin pastime.

While the list is hardly interesting the response to her post was overwhelming. The comments ranged from general agreement to massive amounts of misogynistic bile. Most of it seemed to be just tasteless stabs at humour, but one can never tell. Shortly after receiving such responses the blogger shut down comments on the post and another fellow blogger on the site wrote a response of her own insulting anyone who left remarks that offended her delicate sensibilities.

Loyal readers of mine know I'm not above voicing my opinion on anything, no matter how superficial the subject may be. Some of these subjects are beloved by many and critiquing them may offend those who cherish such things as Perez Hilton, Harry Potter, or any other pop culture item. That being said I understand that broadcasting such juvenile rants will open myself up to people who think my opinion is worthless or allow me to face the firing line of ridicule.

Writing a list of why you hate a popular subject and then feigning shock when all of a sudden your blog is inundated with "neanderthal" like personalities is ridiculous at best. The author posted another article on sensible, nice blogging etiquette. Yes I do wish the blogger community was full of nice people with only love and good boobies to share, but this is a weird sense of reality we write in and no amount of burying your heads from critique will help.

As most of my loyal readers know I'm a huge fan of football. I know it's not everyones' bag. Most people I know watch it for different reasons. Hell most people are more interested in the spectacle rather than the sport itself, but it's something they feel passionate about. If you wrote a blog about how Mohammad once had a homosexual orgy while eating pigs in a blanket you may get some responses that are less than kind. People who troll the internet can sometimes store strong hatred for opinions contrary to their own. If you're not happy with what they have to say then don't give them a forum to say it.

Plus I wonder if they're all that upset by all the attention the blog is getting, including a story in the Seattle Times.

Like how I wrote all that without saying "get your whore ass off the internet and back in the kitchen?"

"..and it’s filled with pigskin lovin’ Neanderthals who are undersexed, overweight, balding, piss ants who haven’t seen their own penises in years. When not watching football, they’re likely to be found sitting around with their buds, drinking beer and contemplating world peace whether or not Budweiser makes enough beer to provoke a woman into engaging in three minutes of wild fornication before she realizes what who she is doing." - 7 Babes a Blogging

Nov 27, 2007

Metal Health

Growing up in the sticks made a youngster inventive in ways of entertainment and I was no different. One evening proved to be frightfully dull as my friend Shawn and I were struggling to come up with something to do. We had exhausted all other options of playing football, video games, and shining a flashlight on our bare asses as cars drove by.

Mischief wasn't on the menu that evening so Shawn decided we needed to become rock stars. We pulled out some cardboard and made guitars and a mic. Shawn draped sheets over the lamps and instantly we formed our own concert hall. His little brother Bryan put Metallica's 'Ride the Lightning' into the stereo. Instantly we were rock stars.

Yes I was James Hetfield and Shawn transformed himself into Kirk Hammett. We rocked the living room jumping off of couches and and twirling our makeshift instruments. That evening we were gods pretending a packed crowd of stoned concert goers were cheering us on.

The evening went on and the bands varied from Guns n Roses to AC/DC. Fun was had by all as the three of us were strumming the night away until I saw Shawn suddenly freeze. I looked over at the window that his eyeballs were fixated on and saw his parents staring at us. Oh hell they came home early. Their eyes were wide open and half grins were clenched to control mass hysterical laughter. Shawn, Bryan, and I couldn't move a muscle.

That ended our night of pretend stardom. Oh and there may or may not be a video of the incident.

"Metallica is going to be one of those bands you look back on in the year 2008, that people will still listen to the way I still listen to Zeppelin and Sabbath albums." - Jason Newsted

Yes we were actually at this show:

Nov 25, 2007

Dangerous driving with Wiwille.

Last night was a harrowing experience involving driving. Yes the simple task of operating a vehicle was daunting as well as embarrassing.

I'm getting ahead of myself.

After working 8 hours on Friday, then having a nice dinner, some sleep, then six more hours from midnight to 6a I went home and went to sleep. The alarm woke me from my slumber at 10a and I got ready for the trip down to Longview. It takes about 2+ hours to make the journey, but I promised I'd be there for a belated Thanksgiving meal.

After a scrumptious meal I hung out for a couple of hours and the lack of sleep really started to catch up with me. I made my leave and started the trip north back to Seattle mindful of my self induced sleep deprivation. I pull over at a rest area and get some bad coffee from the Masonic volunteers, but it wasn't enough.

After driving for about an hour I started to make a concerted effort to never hit the lane dividers again. I decided to call some people to get some company, however no one picked up. It was Saturday night after all, or everyone has decided that they hate me. Either option is reasonable.

I put Ministry's Greatest Fits into the stereo and started blaring the screamings of Al. Thinking loud industrial music may be the ticket I rolled down the windows and started singing along.

It wasn't enough.

I roll down the windows and open the sunroof all the while screaming out the lyrics of Stigmata. Still wasn't working. I need to get colder. Must stay concious. Sleep is for the weak and I for one am a tough guy. Yeah I can do this. I can get to Seattle in one piece, but something needs to be done.

So with a mind racing on little sleep I did what any rational human being would do. I took off my shirt. So here I am driving down the I-5 shirtless, windows rolled down, and blaring Ministry while singing aloud. I must've been a sight.

Not just a few moments later I found out how ridiculous I looked. I turned my head and saw the people occupying the car next to me pointing and laughing. I quickly pulled off the freeway, slipped back on my t-shirt, and got more coffee.

Thankfully I made it home safe.

"Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank." - Alphonse Allais

Nov 23, 2007

Black Friday.

Last year I wrote about an experience on Black Friday where I sold camera equipment at a department store, but this particular consumer holiday made me think about something else.

Yesterday as many were eating their own body weight in delicacies I was here at work trying to earn. Afterwards I took a salad and mashed potatoes to a low income family downtown. The mother opened the door and looked at me. Her face was weathered and I sensed she was a lot younger than she looked. Her premature wrinkles showed signs of a hard life and the constant struggle of simply existing was eating at her soul. Still the matriarch greeted me warmly as I brought in the side dishes. The daughter was placing the turkey they were given on a large plate and the little boy was busy playing with a beat up Spider Man car. They were grateful I showed up and the mother took the food to prepare for serving.

They were thrilled at the sight of such simple edible objects. The little boy was so happy he gave me a sugar cookie. Sure they were poor, but on this day they were happier then most families. The simple meal they would eat made their hardship seem less painful and I can guarantee that to them the meal tasted better than any I've ever eaten.

Not surprisingly there was no father to be seen as the mother indicated his permanent absence a.k.a. abandonment. Another pair of children living off one income of an overworked mother. Our generation has a strange sense of masculinity. We try and spread our seed whenever possible deeming it natural, human, a sense of manliness. Responsibility never enters the equation when we think of what is truly macho. Any bound of chivalry or generosity has been tossed aside to pursue simple pleasures that feed our boyhood instincts. We are no longer men, but overgrown children who think practicing what we hear on Tom Leykis makes us somehow a better gender.

Fighting our own evolutionary instincts is a daunting task I know, but few think it's worth the struggle. Women are discarded, spirituality is replaced with rampant consumption of bad beer and porn, and any idea of being a Renaissance man is a foreign concept. Masculinity nowadays is nothing more then an idea sold by advertisers hawking cars and television shows. The phrase 'nothing good comes easy' has fallen to the wayside and it's our children who will suffer because of it.

"Masculinity is not something given to you, but something you gain. And you gain it by winning small battles with honor." - Norman Mailer

Nov 22, 2007

Give us thanks...

"STOP IT," my mother screamed. "STOP IT YOU TWO."

She came running out of the kitchen whipping my dad and I with a dish towel.

"You'll break everything in the house," she added. "I said stop it"

Dad and I were on the ground. He was attempting to pin my shoulders to the ground as I was fighting him off. It was a fun little wrestling match we engaged in, as we did often, but it drove my mother's ulcer a little wider each time. Fearful that we would break furniture, or worse each other, she would act as policeman and attempt to break us up.

This day she was especially stressed for it was Thanksgiving. Spending hours in the kitchen cooking ham, yams, apple and pumpkin pies, and various other side dishes she took great care to make a it a great meal for us. Fearful that the meal would not be to our liking my mother's nerves were that of a meth junkie looking for a fix.

Dad and I broke up our play fight and we got to work. My sister and I set the table while Dad was being ordered out of the kitchen. The meal was served, grace was spoken in good Catholic fashion, and food was passed. My mother reminded my sister and I constantly of good table manners including why we shouldn't kick the hell out of each other under the table. Dad ate like he was going to be executed soon. Classical music played on the record player while candles provided more ambiance. After the meal I watched some football, then mom would put in one of her favorite movies.

Thanksgiving was a good day at our household. If I ever have a family I hope to give such an environment for my children.

No I won't add strippers to the feast, but I like the way you think.

"Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence." - Erma Bombeck

Nov 21, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving!

Us Americans have a favorite tradition amongst us. Years ago Pilgrims from Great Britain sailed a perilous voyage to the New World in hopes of freedom from religious oppression. Bearing the fruits of hard work they celebrated a harvest with American Indians and gave them such gifts as plentiful food, sharing of cultures and faiths, and blankets knitted with fine wool and smallpox.

Tomorrow many of us will sit with loved ones, or people you can barely stand, for a few hours and stuff their face with food after a brief thought of what they should be thankful for. After a fine meal football will be watched, gossip will ensue, and the token drunk relative will make an ass of themselves. Gluttony will be present amongst us all as we show how grateful we are for being a good American consumer.

Seriously though I do wish everyone a safe and happy Thanksgiving. May all of you be surrounded by your loved ones and give thanks for the comfortable lives you lead. I have so much to be grateful for this year I don't know where to begin. Usual stuff comes to mind though. I'll be again grateful for the fact that I wasn't crushed as a fetus and was instead adopted into a good home. I am very lucky for each and every person who has touched my life. Thanks be to God, family, and friends for the amazing life I've had so far.

This year I'll think of my dear friend Kevin. May his soul continue to rest in peace.

Tomorrow will be an unusual holiday as I'll actually be working early in the day, then I get to go downtown to deliver the salad and mashed potatoes I'm making for a charity delivering food to low income tenants. I hope the people who eat whatever I cook won't be too upset that I'm not exactly Julia Child, but it's really hard to screw up those dishes.

Happy Thanksgiving from the folks...err Erik's Ramblings.

"Dear Lord; we beg but one boon more: Peace in the hearts of all men living, peace in the whole world this Thanksgiving." - Joseph Auslander

Nov 20, 2007

It's all fun and games...

I'm a huge proponent of women learning the art of self defense. Call me a throwback to a generation that really never existed, but I sincerely believe females are at a disadvantage when it comes to attacks from men and with some training the odds can be evened out.

I'm not asking all women to be black belts in a certain martial arts discipline, but that they at least understand the concepts and applications when defending themselves and their loved ones. Some women as well as men scoff at my philosophy for reasons they can't really explain well, but anyone who disagrees with my wisdom is an idiot anyways.

Recently a fourteen year old girl fought off two potential kidnappers by stabbing one in the arm with a pencil. I raise a toast to the teenager for having the sound mind and will to do such an act. Not only did this girl defend herself, but she may have given such an impression to the fucktards to never do it again hopefully.

My point is you're not only defending yourself, but other women as well when you refuse to lay down and be taken by such violence.

My only wish is that the attackers would've taken the writing utensil to the genitals.

"I'm glad that she just didn't become a victim and let them take her. She is a very strong strong baby." - Allicia Brown, the girl's mother.

Girl Stabs Would-Be Kidnapper With Pencil

Nov 18, 2007

Chef Wiwille

Loyal readers will understand I love Thanksgiving, but as the years go on I find the holiday to be more difficult to plan. As my sister spends more time with her family and with the folks getting older I may have to one day break down and create my own Thanksgiving meal. I've never made a turkey before, cause as a child we usually had a ham.

Actually I'm not much of a chef really. If it doesn't involve a microwave and a George Foreman grill I'm pretty useless in the kitchen. I guess I can make a mean grilled cheese sandwich though. My attempt at cooking an amazing meal for a nameless celebrity debutant stunningly went awry when her bodyguards maced me and threw me out of the place. I guess they didn't like the idea of a stranger showing up uninvited preparing food wearing nothing but an apron. I kept explaining I do that cause she loves it, but they weren't buying it. The judge sadly sided with the nazi thugs. Don't come within 500 yards from my love my ass. You can't stop the feelings you commie oppressor!

As I prepare for the day that I might one day be chef Wiwille for the good holiday of thanks I found a recipe for bacon wrapped turkey. Yes you read that right. Turkey covered in bacon. That's a cardiovascular dream come true ladies and gentlemen. Oh and the recipe calls for jalapenos which I like, but they make me fart. Fart a lot.

Culinary tips from Wiwille are worth their weight in gold.

It’s…. BACON! (and a bunch of other stuff)

Nov 15, 2007

Wiwille's movie reviews part 26

I used to hate Danny Kaye and I'm not sure why. Sure the man was enormously talented, but for whatever reason every time he danced across the screen I wanted to trip him. Yet for all my misguided loathing there was still one film that holds a warm place in my infantile heart and that's 'The Court Jester'.

Films produced in the 40s and 50s that were set in medieval times showed a luster to the era of how the time period arguably should've been. Clean shaven men, women with perfect skin, and clothes finely tailored are all apparent while depicting an age where people died of hemorrhoids and dentistry was all but non existent.

Like many of those films what 'The Court Jester' lacks in realism it makes up for it in charm. It is a comedy and looking for historical accuracy in such a form of entertainment is like hearing a lecture on abstinence from an NBA player.

The movie stars the already mentioned Kaye as a buffoon of sorts hired by a Robin Hood like rebel (The Black Fox) to infiltrate the evil monarchy by posing as a jester, gathering information, and help ascend the rightful heir, an infant, to the throne. A comedy of errors doth ensues and hijinks are abound as Kaye bumbles his way as a lackluster spy.

The cast does an excellent job from the villains on up and really this fun film succeeds by never taking itself too seriously. What you find is a mostly clever little comedy with quotable dialogue. While most films that take place in that era are hardly the brutal realism of Flesh and Blood sometimes it's good to have an escapist spoof such as this, cause after all it is entertainment.

Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see it soon on Erik's Ramblings. Rules are posted here.

"See Errol Flynn in Robin Hood — and then see Kaye in Court Jester. The former is the ultimate swashbuckler; the latter the ultimate swashbuckler spoof." - Steven D. Greydanus

Nov 14, 2007

Yes you can accessorize.

You ever have one of those days where you feel like doing ridiculous things on a regular basis? I want to answer the phone just rambling gibberish.

"This is Erik tomahawk bofflehangler hang glider spinster dodo. Kindly wrap your arms around Santa's toilet and give homage to kings of yore. Lotta bees and bifocals attempting crepe dancing in Russian polka halls..."

Yeah I'm in a strange mood.

I used to work at a photo lab in a department store and sometimes when walking to the break room I would browse the aisles and look in awe at some of the most inane products people would consume. Yeah I was bored, but I couldn't help but wonder what kind of people purchased such nonsense.

Then one day I came across a video in ladies wear. Scarf Trends was a short instructional aid that claimed to teach you "perfect scarf accessorizing". Oh and Kathie Lee was the host. So imagine if you will someone who's really into scarfs purchasing a video and taking it home for the family to watch. "Kids see how Kathie Lee tells you how to take her sweatshop produced products and insures you look proper with neck wear? This may save your life one day."

Anyone who's ever purchases this crap deserves the shame of a scarlett letter.

"Why do I pray? Because I never know what's going to pop out of my mouth." - Kathie Lee Gifford

Nov 13, 2007

The most trusted name in news

News viewing can be a frustrating experience for me. While some of it can be informative at times I watch a lot of programs that leave me feeling with a big sense of 'duh'. A large part of television news is mostly commentary anyways telling viewers what they should already be keenly aware of.

Fox News gets a lot of criticism for it's fictional "Fair and Balanced" slogan and rightfully so. Problem is due to the obvious propaganda slant the Rupert Murdoch owned station can be the rest of the networks try to convince it's viewers that they're truly a trustworthy resource for information.

CNN calls itself the most trusted name in news; however a new video came to light that would suggest otherwise. Now I like some of their special reports, such as the recent "God's Warriors", but others can range from misleading to downright nonsense. A program dedicated to substance abuse in pro-wrestling had an interview with some "athlete" named John Cena. When asked if he ever took steroids he answered that he never did, but went on to explain his frustration with the cynical press attacking every sports star assuming their performance is partially credited with the result of drug use.

The unedited footage below is followed by what CNN actually aired. It shouldn't come as a surprise to you that the edited footage makes the pro-wrestler seem like he's a juice monkey.

"We'll have to wait the old-fashioned way." - Wolf Blitzer

Nov 12, 2007

Wiwille's movie revies part 25.

Everyone has an opinion on justice and each one of them believes they are the moral equivalent of the lord and savior when it comes to dishing out punishment regarding various crimes. While most people won't discuss tariffs and how the WTO should regulate them all seem of have an idea of the best way to deal with Osama Bin Laden if the administration seemed to give a damn about capturing him. Vigilance is a virtue amongst most and revenge films touch our just hearts.

'Sleepers' is the story of four childhood friends growing up in the colorful, dangerous, yet somewhat noble Hell's Kitchen. Growing up with the violence that perpetuates their neighborhood the boys find solace in simple things as most children will do. As the ugliness of their home lives get too unbearable the boys turn to the moral center of the film, their priest for guidance and even protection.

The young lads aren't angels as one would expect and a simple petty crime act goes sideways when they lose control of a stolen hot dog cart which in turn crushes a man. The boys are then sentenced to spend a year in a juvenile detention center where they experience sexual abuse at the hands of their sadistic guards.

The film then fast forwards to the boys adult years where we find two of the boys decided to become hardened killers. Both find one of their abusers in a diner and deal with him about how you would expect. Luckily one of the other friends happens to be a lawyer with the DA's office and decides to prosecute the case while the last friend becomes a super sleuth of sorts extracting revenge on all involved in their harrowing ordeal.

While 'Sleepers' is more than a simple 'take the law into your own hands' film, it's not high art by any means. Some of the scenes are simple and lazy yet there are others that are strikingly powerful. The film is incredibly long for having so little to say, but the acting alone is worth sitting through this. While again it's not great, but it's better than most mediocre courtroom dramas.

"Engrosses if it doesn't fully convince." - USA Today

Nov 9, 2007

Taggedy tag tag.

Well I've been tagged by Miss Ash. Here goes:

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night?

2. What were you doing at 0800?

3. What happened to you in 2006?
I forget. I'll check my blog and get back to you.

4. How many beverages did you have today?
Cup of coffee.

5. What color is your hairbrush?
I don't use a brush.

6. Where were you last night?
Lowes, Corey's, home.

7.What color is your front door?
I honestly don't know.

8. Where do you keep your change?
In my pocket.

9. What’s the weather like today?

10. What’s the best ice cream flavor?
Peanut butter.

11. What excites you?
The idea of buying a motorcycle, boobs.

12. Do you want to cut your hair?
Not right now.

13.Are you over the age of 25?
Yes damnit.

14.Do you talk a lot?
Depends if I'm drunk or not.

15. Do you watch the OC?
Never seen an episode. I'm pretty proud of that.

16. Do you make up your own words?
I still claim 'jackassery' as a Wiwille original.

17. Are you a jealous person?
There's no need to be jealous when you're so strikingly gorgeous as me.

18. Name a friend whose name starts with an ‘A’?

19. Name a friend whose name starts with a ‘K’?

20. Who’s the first person on your received call list?

21. What does the last text msg you received say?
'I played Dungeons and Dragons tonight'.

22. Do you chew on a straw?
I do.

23. Where’s the next place you are going?

24. Who’s the rudest person in your life?

25. What was the last thing you ate?
Special K with red berries.

26. Will you get married in the future?
I'm 32 and still haven't convinced anyone that marrying me is a good idea. Doubt it's gonna happen.

27. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the last 2 weeks?

28. When was the last time you did dishes?
The other day.

29. Are you currently depressed?

30. Did you cry today?
I'm a man. You can take a chainsaw to my testicles and I still wouldn't cry. Yeah....

31. What was the last thing you said aloud?
"Well that's cool."

32. What car do you drive and what Bumpersticker(s) do you have on it?
VW GTI. No bumperstickers.

33. Why did you answer this and post it?
Cause I'm Miss Ash's bitch.

"Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There's nothing to do but to stand there and take it." - Lyndon B. Johnson

Nov 8, 2007


Armed thugs shot up a pro-democracy rally in Venezuela, war is still waging in Iraq, Darfur is still Darfurish, and Dog the Bounty Hunter cries a lot, but the real tragedy unfolded itself today.

Beer prices might escalate. Yes folks while you're feeling the pinch at the gas pump, grocery store, and strip club (not that I would know anything about that) you may have to dish out more dough for the brewed goodness. Due to low supply of ingredients prices will rise making it less affordable to consume a tasty stout.

I for one will not stand for it. Isn't there a country we could bomb to take care of this? Fine go ahead and raise the price of oil, but for the love of god don't touch my beer. I should form an OPEC of brewers. Controlling all supply we will rule the world.

If lap dances are next for a price increase I believe open revolt will be the only logical solution to our economic ills.

"I've only been in love with a beer bottle and a mirror." - Sid Vicious

Forget gas prices: Beer is going up

Nov 7, 2007

The results are in.

Democracy rules here on Erik's Ramblings as election officials stayed up late into the night to tally all ballots. Exhausted by the flood of ballots the pollsters kept themselves up by drinking large quantities of Red Bull and eating Lemonheads. Wiwille has an exclusive first look into the results.

Proposition 1: Erik's Ramblings needs more Scarlett Johannson. 4 yes, 2 no, 1 abstaining. This will be a difficult challenge for the creative body behind Erik's Ramblings as the lovely Scarlett is hardly in the news and really what more can be said about her that hasn't already? Then again I love posting pics of her regardless if it has anything to do with the post or not.

Proposition 2: Wiwille is an ego-centric asshole who needs to stop convincing his two readers that he can write. 0 yes, 7 no, 1 abstaining.

Proposition 3: Wiwille's taste in movies are a big bag of ass and as such a disclaimer should be written before each review. 1 yes, 7 no. No disclaimer will be posted.

Proposition 4: Wiwille needs to spend less time on Erik's Ramblings and more on the group effort that is Billy Ocean: Student Council Treasurer. 0 yes, 7 no, 1 abstaining. BOSCT seems to be struggling. Even the founding father Will is hardly contributing anymore, but I will still post from time to time.

Proposition 5: Wiwille needs to write more posts while drunk, possibly naked. Amendment: Wiwille needs to drink more beer. 8 yes, 0 no. Finally a consensus. Readers do believe I must consume more alcohol and write about my inebriated state. There was a split amongst two readers though. One requested I don't post any pictures of any possible nudity of myself, the other thought otherwise.

Proposition 6: More politics, less youtube video. 1 yes, 6 no, 1 ballot seems to be torn. I guess people are tired of hearing about my rants concerning foreign affairs.

Proposition 7: Wiwille needs to respond to comments made. 5 yes, 2 no, 1 ballot is indifferent. I used to respond to comments, but after a lot of thought (okay two minutes worth) I decided it may be best to have readers give the last word. Apparently my commenters think differently so look for some responses in the future.

Proposition 8: More boobies. 4 yes, 2 no, 1 undecided. Pretty much split down gender lines, readers of Erik's Ramblings seem to want some boobage in this blog. I should start posting pics of my own man boobs.

"I have always strived to vote in a way that is in the best interest of all Americans." - Joe Baca

Nov 6, 2007

Vote Wiwille!

Yes folks it's that time of year again. Important state ballots are awaiting you at your local polling station so please take some time out today to help decided the direction our state will be going. Yes this may require you to miss some Friends reruns and/or time spent abusing your children, but the fiscal future of your beloved state is in your hands. Vote and vote wisely.

If you're unsure of how exactly you want to cast your ballots feel free to call Wiwille, cause since I know everything I'll be happy to assist you in your polling needs.

Given it's that wonderful time of the year of civic service I do believe some polling on Erik's Ramblings is due. Your votes on my blog will help determine the future of my useless rants as well as my mental stability.

(All votes are subject to veto and possible violent retribution. Wiwille assumes no responsibility for any promise broken. All ballots that are deemed dumb by the author of this blog will be mocked for online amusement. All complaints should be directed to my campaign spokesperson/bodyguard Mattbear. Recounts and election procedures will be reviewed and ruled by Wiwille's Supreme Court consisting of judges Alyssa, Rawbean, Miss Ash, Scott, and WIGSF. Communications director Big Ben will field all press inquiries and requests for big breasted strippers.)

Proposition 1: Erik's Ramblings needs more Scarlett Johannson. Yes/No
Proposition 2: Wiwille is an ego-centric asshole who needs to stop convincing his two readers that he can write. Yes/No
Proposition 3: Wiwille's taste in movies are a big bag of ass and as such a disclaimer should be written before each review. Yes/No
Proposition 4: Wiwille needs to spend less time on Erik's Ramblings and more on the group effort that is Billy Ocean: Student Council Treasurer. Yes/No
Proposition 5: Wiwille needs to write more posts while drunk, possibly naked. Amendment: Wiwille needs to drink more beer. Yes/No
Proposition 6: More politics, less youtube video. Yes/No
Proposition 7: Wiwille needs to respond to comments made. Yes/No
Proposition 8: More boobies. Yes/No

I think that's enough for this election cycle. Remember to do your civic duty this Tuesday.

"Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost." - John Quincy Adams

Nov 4, 2007

Home improvement with Wiwille.

Corey declared this weekend to be one filled with destruction. He's remodeling his condo and solicited my help to tear apart stuff.

When Corey and I get together for a project usually things go completely awry till the job's done. Hours are spent trying to complete a simple task as many obstacles appear. In this case nothing needed repair so thankfully the task went well.

It was actually pretty fun. I got to break stuff. I like breaking stuff. I got to tear out a shower, pull carpet, and destroy a bathroom counter and sink. Yes I enjoyed every minute of it.

I learned a lot in my home destruction. I now know you can accomplish a lot by hitting things really hard with a crowbar. I hope to apply that to other areas of my life, such as work. I'm now keenfully aware that yelling the phrase "worthless pig fucker" at an inanimate object really doesn't do much in the way of making it function as you like. I should also mention that fiberglass splinters don't feel good.

Football was watched, drinks and pizza were consumed, and I got to destroy things. Yes I feel manly. The only thing that could complete this weekend's testosterone filled activities is if bi-curious swimsuit models would feed me grapes. Actually I could use that every weekend.

"My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance." - Tim Allen

Nov 2, 2007

You know who also farted?

In dark times as these it's easy to use a Hitler comparison when judging current dictators, or alleged dictators to be. While some of the similarities may seem shocking I find the remarks simple if not misguided. Comparing anyone to the leader of the Third Reich provides some sort of shock value, but we should judge our leaders on their own actions and not try and devalue the debate by bringing one of the world's ugliest tyrants into the discord.

Still we can compare a certain blogger to him, which makes me depressed. Yes one of the masters of genocide and noted vegetarian farted a lot. Apparently the Führer had a problem with being gassy just like the author of this blog. Does this mean Wiwille may grow up to be like him? Is this a call to all readers to stop Erik's Ramblings before it takes over Europe? Or at least Poland? Okay Bothell?

Okay I got kind of silly there. I know we shouldn't joke about Hitler, but I find stories about him farting a lot really funny. Yeah I'm pretty juvenile.

"Colossal flatulence occurred on a scale I have seldom encountered before,” - Theo Morell, private doctor to Hitler.

Scent of a Führer

Nov 1, 2007

Wiwille's movie reviews part 24.

End opening credits. Film opens with some older Frenchman describing his great life as a bachelor and telling the audience about various types of women. Then as if he were going through a mental breakdown he starts singing about how we should be thankful for little girls.

Yes my friends this is how the writers behind Gigi would like you to think about how turn of the 20th century Parisians thought. Well they may not have been that far off.

Gigi is a young woman who is struggling to cope with the superficial lifestyle in her upper class environment. While her family members are trying to groom her into proper etiquette Gigi is reluctant to embrace the education. Enter longtime family friend Gaston, a pampered playboy of sorts who finds everything in life dull and meaningless. Always in the public eye due to his extreme wealth, Gaston comes to the realization that Gigi may be something more than a good friend.

There really isn't much more to this story as it is simple as it is shallow. The music is equally forgettable; however there is a charm to this film I can't explain. Maybe it's the slight pokes at tabloid culture, the beautiful sets, or the funny supporting cast, but there was a part of this that didn't make me completely bored.

While I do enjoy some musicals I can't believe this is such a highly praised Oscar winner. Fiddler on the Roof this is not, but if you're looking for your fluff piece that requires no thought whatsoever then this film is for you.

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"Gigi is all style, and zilch in the way of substance." - Christopher Null