Sep 1, 2013

Wiwille can't see.

So for a couple of months now I've noticed I can't read fine print anymore. Seeing has never been a problem for me, well at least sober, but as old age creeps up and staring at a computer for more than half of my proletariat life my eyesight isn't functioning as well as it has. Reading labels, instructions (yes, sometimes I do indulge them) or anything that's written in a font that's smaller than your average reality show star's self esteem became a huge issue for the family. I was constantly calling upon my wife to assist with the simple task of literacy, and it grew tiresome right quick.

So I was in need of eye wear, but had no earthly idea where to begin. I've never shopped for eye wear before outside of sunglasses, and was in need of a good pair of glasses that will help me read, because without I might as well be trying to decipher brail. So I went to the only place I thought could service my eye needs, the dollar store.

Yes the dollar store, where you can get merchandise that will maybe last the trip home for low prices. The dollar store, because Wal-Mart is just to darn hard on the pocketbook. The dollar store, because nothing says savings like the self loathing you feel when you plop down a cheap card to get for dear old ma, because you forgot it was Mother's Day, and a bag of pretzels with a questionable expiration date and even more questionable quality control. The dollar store, where you can save money on soap and other hygienic goods that'll make you feel as clean as if you've dug your way out of a POW camp with your teeth.

So yeah, I do at times shop at the dollar store, because not all my friends and family deserve more than a 99 cent card, and they have good cheese puffs and other stuff that's not worth spending more than a dollar for. To my surprise they did have reading glasses, and not bad ones at that. So I got my eye wear, previously mentioned cheese puffs, and something else I can't recall and checked out.

I haven't even hit forty yet.

"My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle." - Henny Youngman

Aug 4, 2013

Long time no post

So yeah, it's been an age since I've last posted. Given now I have a job that requires my full attention as well as a family that requires it as well it's tough to take some time out to actually put pen to parchment. My narcissistic journey in the blogsphere has taken a backseat to any and all activities in my seemingly busy world of fatherhood, being a husband, worker, and homeowner.

Speaking of home ownership the wife and I purchased a new home, cheaper and bigger than the last one, but it hasn't been without hiccups. The miserable, pig fucking sprinkler system decided to not work after the initial inspection, and given I know fuck all about them as I've never owned nor operated one in all my years in the northwest, I had to call a person out. The repairs weren't cheap, but they weren't expensive either, and it works thankfully. In Texas, foundation issues are a plenty and it's critical to water regularly as the climate won't do it for you, unlike Washington state.

After the inspection of the home we found a few little problems and we asked the previous owners to fix it, which they decided wasn't worth their time and just lowered the price, which we though was reasonable. It was upon me to replace the toilet innards for all three porcelain units. I purchased new hardware at The Home Depot, only to find the damn flush valve cracked at the base when I installed it. So I take all three back to replace, and find the new set of hardware didn't come with a flush valve, so I go back to The Home Depot to purchase new flush valves, which were the wrong size, so I went back, returned, came home, swore a lot, and finally after I don't know how many days of this nonsense the toilets are in working order. Oh one had a leaky seal under one of the toilets, so needed a plumber, which thankfully was covered by the warranty.

And there's more, so much more home improvement crap I've done and still need to do it makes my head swim just thinking about it. But still it's a good home and it affords us a good community so I'll take the pain of every now and then breaking out the tools to try and perform simple maintenance, only to have it turn into a week long project.

In really sad news, we had to put down our dog Toby, who the wife's had for over a decade, due to a kidney disease. I haven't had a pet in many years so I took this pretty hard, but nothing compared to the wife, and we'll miss him incredibly, as well as our other dog Emma, who's shown signs of being bummed her little buddy isn't around any more.

That's all for now...

Jun 27, 2013

Conspiracy theorist responds!

A while back I wrote about Mike Adams and his lunatic theory thatthe massacre at the Aurora theater was orchestrated by the US government. It was a simple, direct post and my point was clear, there was no evidence in Mike's hypothesis of any wrongdoing by the US, or any government. With the knowledge we have at this time, it appears to be the work of one lone shooter, a madman who destroyed many lives with his evil act.

Of course, this theory isn't just shared by Adams alone, but I used him as an example of how batshit and tasteless it is to drag public employees', or anyone's', names and reputation through the mud in order to try and feel smart, or "having your eyes open" as conspiracy theorists would call it. What is not shocking though about the post is someone decided to respond with an absolute nuttiness. So here's the comment left by reader realeyesre​alizerealli​es, with my comments to such stupidity in red:

"yeah hahaha like there's no such thing as "False Flag Events" nor "State Sponsored Terrorism" I never claimed there are no such things as false flags or state sponsored terrorism, so why you brought that up is a mystery indeed as well as your unnecessary use of quotes. And it’s pretty despicable to think of them as laughing matters. hahaha Why do you type “hahaha" when nothing even remotely funny has occurred? yeah what a dope anyone is for KNOWING THOSE FACTS OF AMERICAN (ROMAN EMPIRE) HISTORY.. I'm not sure exactly what facts you're referring to, or why American and Roman history apply to this post criticizing Mike Adams' lack of evidence, since you conveniently left any and all analogies out, but if your knowledge of history is on par with composing messages in the English language, I'm willing to bet a thousand dollars that your history education is akin to a third graders, and that's being generous. As for former Scientologist Mike Adams' knowledge on matters historical, it's right on par with his knowledge of basic science, which is pitiful at best.
As for Adams..too bad he sold us all out. How? And who’s this “us” you are referring to?

P.S. Get A Real Life, The End. 
Ow wow. You told me to get a real life. That really stings. What life do you think I should be leading oh sagely one? I find it sad that I can't live in the awesome world you inhabit on a daily basis, so please let us know your secret to having a successful existence."

Realeyesre​alizerealli​es then took a pause in his barely literate message to compose another, which is just as on topic as the previous one. I guess when he said “The End” it meant only the beginning:

"seriously though, check this out:
"...the world’s dominant geopolitical powers were on the brink of engaging the last and most dangerous stage of their geopolitical agenda. In the world of chess the Endgame refers to the moves that end the game. 
Still haven't a clue what this has to do with Mike Adams and his lack of evidence to support his inane, tasteless theory, and neither do you. It's interesting how conspiracy theorists never seem to be able to comprehend even the simplest things, nor can stay on topic for more than 30 seconds in any discussion. When they know they're argument is collapsing, they simply move on to baffle people even further.

And what is the game that the world’s dominant powers are playing? We live in a world where civilization as we’ve known it for the last 5000 years has been defined by the quest for empire. It’s a ruthless and savage quest played by the world’s most powerful economic and political entities to acquire ever greater levels of economic and political power. So you mean governments have largely created economic and political empires for most of human history?
Wow, what a shocking revelation to anyone in fifth grade social studies! You're so smart to quote this site, as it saves you the trouble of having to think for yourself. Really you're quite efficient at spreading nonsense.

The imperial process can only work by conning the subject class, those outside the ruling class, into supporting its military adventures. The ruling class gains support for their military agendas by manufacturing adversaries who are accused of posing an existential threat. Adversaries that must be dealt with pre-emptively according to the doctrine of World’s dominant emperium also known as the European-American-Israeli alliance. I’ll refer to this alliance as the TRIAD. 
And this is supposed to roll into the Aurora tragedy how? Have you, or the writers of this ridiculous site, kept up with European - Israeli relations in the past, oh I don't know, 27+ years? Israel and Europe aren't exactly on good terms, so this Triad, as the ill person who coined it, is not going so swimmingly, probably because it doesn't exist. Hell why don't they throw in Australia in this made up alliance?
Readers, don't go to this link, it sucks.

while there is truth in many of mike adams articles, it is not. 
What is not? And by the way, there is little to no truth in Mike Adams articles. He's so incompetent and so dedicated to promoting misinformation that if he wrote a post about how he believed the world is round I'd immediately be skeptical."

Realeyesre​alizerealli​es, who I'm betting thinks they're very clever in coming up with that dumb username, goes on to say:

"oh..gotta finish my thought on Adams No you really don’t. I mean you did type "The End", which one would logically assume this tripe isn't necessary nor warranted...while there is some truth in his articles As stated before, there isn't, and any rational human being who reads his stuff will confirm, he's also imo a sensationalist We agree there, although that can be said for any and all conspiracy theorists; and i am not the only person who believes he is a part of the faction "poking the american people with a stick" hoping to get a violent reaction all the while "warning" everyone to protest in a non-violent way, that is obvious...especially after teaming up with the likes of Alex Jones who is a fear mongerer and sensationalist. If you're all down on Mike Adams, then what exactly is your point? Actually don't answer that, as you've spent too much time already trying to make a point that doesn't exist. Aren't all conspiracy theorists posing as smarter than thou preachers of what they nonsensically refer to as truth, fear mongers? They keep saying they’re in the business of waking people up, but really it’s to incite fear of something, real or imagined (government, vaccines, GMOs, lizard people, Illuminati, etc.) Thank you for entertaining us with your nonsense."

"How much you wanna bet this guy hates Kinder Eggs too?" - WIGSF

Jun 26, 2013

My own theme song

The wife and I are currently residing with my mother in-law while our new house is still being occupied by the former owners. I get to watch a lot of bad television, but I'm happy to do it to spend time with them. When I view horrible shows I try to make the experience fun, like laughing at the douchebags or creating my own theme songs. Since they're fans of the high brow show The Bachelorette, last night, while watching it, I created my own theme song (sung to the tune of the Muppet Show theme):

It's time to view the douchebags,
It's time to watch them fight.
It's time for attention whoring on The Bachlorette tonight.

It's time for eating disorders.
It's time for not being right.
It's time for attention whoring on The Bachlorette tonight.

Why do they always audition?
And sell the souls for scrap?
It's like some kind of torture.
To watch this kind of crap.

It's time to exploit emotions.
It's time to dumb down right.
It's time for attention whoring.
Why are you attention whoring?

It's time for attention whoring on the least sensational, inexcusable, inexplicable, whorentational.
This is what we call The Bachlorette!

"I'm probably the only member of the 'Bachelor' cast without an agent!" - Jake Pavelka

Jun 17, 2013

Stuff Texans like part 4

Now there's hardly an individual you'll find who doesn't care for fried chicken, or any kind of chicken for that matter, but in Texas, the hen dipped in a fryer is not just a food, it's a religion. In the Northwest, we had maybe a few chicken fast food restaurants, such as KFC, one Popeyes, and I'm sure countless small mom and pop places, such as the highly overrated, and favorite of Oprah (yes that Oprah) Ezell's.

In Texas, we have all kinds of restaurants that specialize in cooking the fat bird, such as Chick-fil-A, Church's Chicken, Chicken Express, the previously mentioned KFC and Popeye's, Raisin Cane's (which has delicious sauce), Babe's (my favorite), and many others. Now everyone has their favorite restaurant, but honestly, besides the sauce, I don't find much difference in the frying. It's all artery clogging nightmare of fowl, but it's so tasty many will gladly put their health on hold to grab a seasoned bite.

What differentiates the chains is the spices and sauce, and while some are more appealing than others, the brand loyalty some of their customers have is akin to European nationalism. Now some, such as Babe's, offers a great atmosphere and other delicious food to those who grow tired of taking years off their heart (and they serve RC cola instead of Coke or Pepsi interestingly enough). Still there's little substitute for fried chicken, something Texas takes regional pride in, and no yankee establishment can live up to.

"The food in Europe is pretty disappointing. I like fried chicken. But other than that Europe is great." - Donnie Wahlberg

Jun 10, 2013

This post is watching you

When Bush was in office, he was easy to criticize as the office of the Presidency hadn't yet seen anyone so ignorant, so lacking in charisma, and such an easy target. The corruption was so rampant after a while nary an eyebrow was raised when he did something of extreme incompetence. It was just how the office of the Presidency ran for eight years, and we all just took it in mournful stride.

Then Obama comes, offering change and wisdom and ponies. While he in my opinion hasn't been a particularly bad President, he hasn't been all that effective in my opinion. Wall Street regulations remains the same as it did before the horrible crash of 08, Guantanamo Bay is still open for business, and Obama is having a hell of a time responding to the numerous accusations thrown at him by the GOP. Still, with all the good things he's done, such as health care, DPRK, and other things too numerous to mention here, I'm sort of happy with how he's managed the country.

And then comes the phone tracking data, which no one is happy with. I understand the need to fight terrorism as much as anyone, but never at the expense of our values. As Americans we were outraged to find out torture was used against suspects, and we should feel the same outrage when the government collects our information without a warrant or our consent.

Not only did he come out and try to defend the indefensible, but much like Bush, he seemed to try and talk down to his critics, which is just insane.

Sadly though, nothing will be done about this as the opposition party is still trying to stick him to Benghazi after failing numerous times, and they still have a hard on for Fast and Furious.

When someone criticizes Obama, the knee jerk reaction at this point is to think them a conspiracy theory freak, but soon more people from the left will have to accept that this behavior is not acceptable, and will have to put the blame exactly where it belongs, at the White House.

I'm kind of sad about this as I had high hopes for Obama, but not shockingly he disappointed me/us. Yes I know, you should contain your shock that a politician can be anything but excellent at his job.

“Is it just me, or is secret blanket surveillance obscenely outrageous?” - Al Gore

Jun 5, 2013

There is no Monsanto Protection Act

A few years back a group of Muslims decided to plan a community center in lower Manhattan. For whatever reason (bigotry) people were upset about this as it brought up painful memories of the 9/11 attacks, and felt that followers of Islam shouldn't have a community center in New York. Mislabeling it as "The Ground Zero Mosque", people wrongly believed a Muslim place of worship was being built across the street from where the World Trade Center once stood, and took offense to that for reasons unclear (bigotry). Most people had no idea the planned community center is about two blocks away, nor really cared because big scary brown people are infiltrating Merica and implementing Sharia Law so severe I can't walk down main street without a guy named Mohammad trying to cut off my wiener, because I don't require a foot washing station at my place of work. Controversy arose, and still does, because of this issue that should've never been one.
Years before that, a landmark study showed that domestic violence was highest during the Super Bowl. Yes women and children were at greater risk of being beaten by some lite beer guzzling jackass who gets their frustrations out by beating up his family over a game. Since all football fans are nothing but wife beating slack-jawed louses, it only made sense, and people the country over believed it.
Problem was, the study never existed, and women and children are at no greater risk for domestic violence during the Super Bowl than any other day of the year. Actually if they're going to get their asses beat, Christmas and Thanksgiving is the most likely day for a whooping. Yes the day we honor the birth of Lord and Savior is one of the highest days for domestic violence.
The truth was told, football fans are no more harmful than anyone else, including hockey, UFC, and even soccer fans, but no one wanted to hear the truth. The fraudulent non-existent study was called out for what it was, and the country collectively said "yeah, but I still think women are more at risk, because I saw a guy get mad at a game once, and he looked like he was going to hit somebody, but he didn't, but people who get mad always smack others around," or something equally as insipid. People wanted to believe that men are nothing but oafish brutes who want nothing more than to hurt females, and those who happen to enjoy the sport of football are the worst of the lot, so everyone remembers this bullshit, while the truth was widely ignored.
Lately I've been hearing a lot about the Monsanto Protection Act, which according to the illiterate sources, is all about protecting Monsanto from being prosecuted for being all evil. Yes Monsanto, the company that makes genetically modified foods that cause cancer, creates toxic chemicals that cause autism, and the company that sues small farmers out of business and takes over their land to grow franken berries that don't taste as good as the ones out of the farmers' market you claim you shop at, but you don't. But I digress...
So what is the Monsanto protection bill according to those who coined the phrase? Well according to groups like Food Democracy Now, the bill protects the biotech agricultural giant from litigation while they continue to grow foods that'll make us all sterile and the human race will die off, because that's what they think Monsanto wants, and killing off the world's population would be such a stellar business model.
So what does the bill actually say? Well pretend you just read the following:
Sec. 735. In the event that a determination of non-regulated status made pursuant to section 411 of the Plant Protection Act is or has been invalidated or vacated, the Secretary of Agriculture shall, notwithstanding any other provision of law, upon request by a farmer, grower, farm operator, or producer, immediately grant temporary permit(s) or temporary deregulation in part, subject to necessary and appropriate conditions consistent with section 411(a) or 412(c) of the Plant Protection Act, which interim conditions shall authorize the movement, introduction, continued cultivation, commercialization and other specifically enumerated activities and requirements, including measures designed to mitigate or minimize potential adverse environmental effects, if any, relevant to the Secretary’s evaluation of the petition for non-regulated status, while ensuring that growers or other users are able to move, plant, cultivate, introduce into commerce and carry out other authorized activities in a timely manner: Provided, That all such conditions shall be applicable only for the interim period necessary for the Secretary to complete any required analyses or consultations related to the petition for non-regulated status: Provided further, That nothing in this section shall be construed as limiting the Secretary’s authority under section 411, 412 and 414 of the Plant Protection Act.
That's a lot of legal mumbo jumbo. Well since I'm sure you've read and comprehended everything that was just copied and pasted, I shouldn't have to explain what it means, but I will anyways.
It means that if someone planted a crop with a seed that went through years of approvals and red tape to be able to be put unto the soil, and somehow someone notices the paperwork was poor or that their was some oversight on the government's part, the farmer, whether thay be some big giant monolithic destroy the world corporation, or a simple resident of Hooterville, can petition a judge to allow their once legal crop to not be destroyed until it's deemed legal again.
So let me try to put it another way. You're building a home, and after the nightmare of getting the proper permits together and hassling with all the fees and ridiculous red tap, you start construction. Suddenly someone at the office of "Make Home Builders Die of Combustible Hemmroids" (MHBDCH) sees they missed something on the paperwork, and decided your yet to be completed abode was in violation of the law and God almighty and must be torn down in ceremonious fashion. This bill will allow you to go and front of a judge and explain why you shouldn't suffer because of gross incompetence of underpaid civil servants and get to keep building your home until sufficient evidence arises that should do otherwise. The same would apply if someone is suing you for building your home for whatever reason, and you can plea to the court to not have your place destroyed until the case is settled.
So that's it. Monsanto may be an evil corporation with their ridiculous patent lawsuits and what not, but seriously do you expect a corporation not to wield their muscle in order to make money? I mean it's in their very nature to turn a profit, for obvious reasons. Those entities exist for that reason alone, and if they can use the law to their advantage, well the public (YOU) allow it.
Still this Monsanto Protection Act is nonsense. It's a made up term by anti-Monsanto activists who know nothing about science, who are misguided about their GMO phobias, and who should be safely ignored. For whatever reason, anti-GMO fucktards have entered themselves uninvited into the progressive movement, and need to be removed, forcibly if needed.
Yes Monsanto may be crooked and is out to make a profit, just like every other corporation. No there's no evidence that GMOs are harmful, despite what one fraudulent study may say, and it's still wrong to brand this act as some sort of conspiracy with Obama being in bed with them, especially when it protects everyone. If someone is against the so called Monsanto Protection Act, then they're against all farmers, large and small.
You know what? The GMO Truthers have won, for no one will remember what the Monsanto Protection Act actually does, for instead they'll think big bad Barrack Hussein Obama is in bed with Satan's corporation, and they're out to poison your children. The truth will be swept under the rug, while the misinformation is widely spread thanks to your moronic Facebook friends and misguided and uneducated activists.
"Since 1997, we have only filed suit against farmers 145 times in the United States. This may sound like a lot, but when you consider that we sell seed to more than 250,000 American farmers a year, it’s really a small number. Of these, we’ve proceeded through trial with only eleven farmers. All eleven cases were found in Monsanto’s favor.

A very small number of farmers involved in patent infringement cases with Monsanto have sought publicity around their cases, and have characterized the company’s actions in a negative light. In some other situations, outside parties have portrayed particular cases negatively. We take exception to any misleading allegation of wrong-doing. Our employees and contractors respect our customers and their property" - Monsanto

Jun 4, 2013

Set phasers to geek

Well it's been what is quite possibly the longest abscence I've given this blog since it's inception. So the obvious choice for a post would be a stack ranking of the Star Trek films.

Yes I saw Star Trek: Into Darkness, and since I had a lot of fun drafting the James Bond films after watching Skyfall I figured I'd tackle another long running movie franchise. So yeah, ranking the Star Trek movies from worst to best.

Star Trek: Insurrection: The crew of the Enterprise rebel against their superiors to save a race of people who don't get old or sick after somehow halting the aging process somewhere around 43. I've only seen this movie once, and there's a reason for that. I hated this movie. Hated every goddamn second of the miserable creation. The plot was completely nonsensical and would rank as one of the worst TNG episodes, but for reasons I can't fathom (cocaine), this was given the big screen treatment, and was so terrible I vowed never to see a TNG movie in the theater again.

Star Trek: Generations: Fans were ready to see Kirk and Piccard team together to save a planet who's inhabitants were never seen nor cared about by the audience. It's so easy to not like this movie as the villain's plan to destroy a star to somehow change the trajectory of some happiness space cloud so that he could whisk himself to play time land is absurd enough, but to use this nonsensical plot device to get Kirk and Piccard together in the least climatic way possible was a letdown for even the most forgiving of Star Trek fans. Everything failed in this movie, the attempts at comedy, the misfires when it tried to be tender, and the dissapointment everyone felt when the two greatest captains in the fictional universe joining forces to go fisticuffs with some unmemorable villain was too much to bear.

Star Trek: Nemisis: Piccard and the crew face an adversary so diabolical you won't recall a single thing about him once the credits roll. Now some would say this is the worst Star Trek film, and it's difficult to argue with them, but I don't think it's the worst of the TNG films. It happens to be the only Star Trek film I've never seen in the theatre, which is a dubious honor I know, and I've only seen it once, and if good fortune permits I'll never see it again. After the dismal release of this drek production on another Star Trek film wouldn't happen for many years.

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier: The original crew of the starship Enterprise take their geriatric asses on a search for the Lord almighty. Oh and Spock's brother appears as a tour guide on the quest. If anyone tells you they like this film, then it's a good sign they're wrong about everything related to cinema. It's not only the worst film featuring all of the original cast, it's one of the worst Star Trek films ever. A failure both critically and commercially, this William Shatner directed bomb would do well to be forgotten as it adds nothing to the series. I've heard many a fan try to make apologies for this miserable drek, but there are none. It is crap, pure unadulterated horse shit.

Star Trek: First Contact: The Enterprise goes back in time to fight the Borg, who are hell bent on taking over pre-24th century Earth. It's not so much that it's a bad film, but it's just disappointing considering that the Borg is a great villain, but didn't have much to do besides emote themselves through a hive queen, which is sillier than it sounds if you can believe it. The humor is so damn corny it just falls flat. The Piccard channeling Ahab subplot almost worked, but if they just toned it down a bit and made it more subtle it could've been compelling. It's the best out of the TNG films for sure, but that's saying very little.

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home: Admiral Kirk leads his crew to San Fransisco circa the 80s to bring some whales back to the 23rd century to communicate with an alien probe that only speaks humpback and fuck I don't care. Sure, the plot is preposterous, and often times silly, but damn it it if I don't kind of like this film. It has a lot of charm and it's clear the actors are having a lot of fun with the script. Many fans hate this film, and it's not a conventional Star Trek film by any means, but it's fun and never takes itself too seriously.

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country: The Federation and the Klingons try to make a peace accord, and obviously there has to conspiratorial forces trying to make that not happen. Nicholas Meyer's return to directing a Star Trek film after the crowd pleasing Wrath of Kahn was less than triumphant, but certainly not terrible. Sure this movie wasn't stellar by any means, but it's fun watching Christopher Plummer be a Klingon, and the acting is far superior than the script should've allotted for.

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock: Admiral Kirk and his associates risk everything to find and resurrect their friend Captain Spock. While I like this movie, it can be a real downer. The cast really started to show their age, and it seemed like it would be the end of the series when I first watched it. With the Enterprise blowing up, Kirk's son getting killed before he could establish a relationship with his father, and the grim locales this movie doesn't really uplift the spirits, but it has some real tension and Christopher Lloyd made a good Klingon.

Star Trek: The Motion Picture: The crew of the Enterprise go in search of a big scary space cloud that threatens Earth. I don't think fans really were screaming for this kind of adventure for Kirk and company in their first big screen outing, but I enjoyed it for a lot of reasons. It's ambitious, interesting, and very thoughtful; however slow and prodding it may be. Sure it could've used a few more action beats, and less long sweeping shots of a space entity and even the Enterprise herself, but it's still a wonder after all these years, and I still find myself enjoying it.

Star Trek: Into Darkness: Kirk goes after an evil man who does evil things, and finds all sorts of evilness lurking about. JJ Abrahms second outing as director for the newly rebooted franchise has been a successful one, and it kept the right balance of action and character development. Sure the third act had more than it's share of lame cop outs, but still it's entertaining as all get out. With a memorable villian and familiar characters that are likable as well as interesting, Star Trek: Into Darkness makes a great addition to this long running series.

Star Trek: After a many years absence from the cinemas, JJ Abrahms rebooted the franchise. Originally met with skepticism, his creation became a solid hit for fans and non alike. Combining elements that made Star Trek so endearing, such as relatable and fun characters, with non-stop action, this movie is fun and engaging. Sure some of the plot elements don't rival Shakespeare, but it does everything it sets out to do incredibly well. The cast and crew did the almost impossible task of pleasing geeks, something I hope they continue to do for years to come.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn: Kahn and his crew seek revenge on Captain Kirk for deserting them many years ago on an almost inhabitable planet. Kahn is one of the greatest villains in not just Star Trek lore, but all of sci-fi, so his return from the original series' episode "Space Seed" was indeed a welcome one. Ricardo Mantoban plays a great villain, and it's one of his finest performances ever. Throwing such themes as the crew accepting their age and giving a tear jerking ending, The Wrath of Kahn will be a tough film to top.

"A man either lives life as it happens to him, meets it head-on and licks it, or he turns his back on it and starts to wither away." - Gene Roddenberry

Apr 26, 2013


Today is my last day with the company I've been with for the last twelve years.

When I started here, I was but a directionless failure at life. Had no real marketable skills outside of taking pictures and wrestling wild boar, and was unsure of how I would support myself. I was hired on, much to my surprise, with little knowledge of technology and the various products this corporation sold. Still they took a chance on me, and after a few months of contract work they hired me on full time, and finally I had what seemed like a career.

I had great benefits and a good working environment. I made many friends, and procured a few enemies along the way I'm sure, but my experience here as been a great one. I've learned many things in my time here that proved invaluable to me, even things not directly related to my daily duties. I'm a better person for having known a lot of the people I've worked with and they've all helped me grow professional and personally as well.

I'm truly grateful for my time here, but this new job offered me better benefits, pay, and the chance to expand my knowledge even further. So I sit here, bittersweet about leaving as I do like my job, but it was time to move on.

To new adventures....

"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." - Confucius

Apr 19, 2013

You're not helping

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." - Fred Rogers

I believe the often missed children's' television host's quote will ring true as long as humanity still exists. When terrible tragedies occur, such as 9-11, Katrina, etc, there are many willing to give aid to the victims, sometimes making difficult sacrifices to see them get back on their feet and rebuild their torn lives. It's comforting to know that the work of evil is often outmatched by those willing to do good for no reward other than it's the right thing to do.

So in the wake of the terrible bombings in Boston many runners, public servants, and spectators ran into harms way to assist those wounded in the senseless act, and once again we saw humanity at its best. It's easy to dismiss the goodness of humans when you witness such naked and hateful aggression, but to see those who'll gladly risk life and limb to save others gives me the warm fuzzies. I can't help it, but it does, and it makes me proud again to be part of the human race, for there are more good people than not.

Still after an attack of this nature, we also see the worst in humans. After 9-11 and Katrina, many opportunists set up fake charities and sold merchandise to exploit the horrific events for personal and financial gain. Not to be outdone, conspiracy theorists and their nut job, mindless followers decreed almost immediately that this was the work of the government in some sort of false flag attack designed to rob us of our personal liberties and to make money for the corporations that have them in their pocket.

Now I hate giving the likes of Alex Jones and Mike Adams the attention they don't deserve, but they're doing a disservice and must be held accountable for their despicable "reporting" on the Boston Marathon bombings. Not content with recent media reports about the manhunt for the suspects, and the equally insipid, as well as countless others, have drawn conclusions, based on little to no evidence, that the government was behind the bombings. Everyone from police to the Obama administration apparently wanted to kill these people to do any number of scary things to the American public, but yet were so incompetent at covering up their involvement that somehow these theorists are on top of this.

It's amazing to me the ego of these people, and not just the morally reprehensible Adams and Jones, but their followers as well. They all feel they're smarter than us about everything, calling those who look to actual evidence to draw a conclusion as the none so clever title of "sheeple". Instead they want the public to draw a conclusion first, and then search for clues that are easily debunked to pad their warped thinking.

This kind of bullshit is doing a great disservice to the victims. The real perpetrators need to be brought to justice and soon, and no public servant should have their good names dragged through the mud to bolster someone's ego, nor to sell quack products and advertising space. Not only are conspiracy theories such as this a complete and total waste of time, but try to imagine actually being hurt in the blast or losing a loved one, only to have some moron with a grudge to pick with his elected government exploit it for financial gain. It's despicable and should not be tolerated.

So when you see someone talk or post about how they believe this story is not adding up to the conclusions they want, please feel free to remind them of how wrong they are. It's ok to ask questions of any investigation, but in this day and age where misinformation is easily debunked the truth should be told. The victims deserve as much.

Let's take one example of a FB conversation I'm having. One friend decided to post about a serviceman, Lt Nick Vogt, who lost his legs in service to this country. Conspiracy theorists have quickly determined that a man who lost both lower limbs in the Boston blast was in fact Lt Vogt, who for whatever reason decided to be an actor in the so called staged bombing. Of course this is a lie and a slap in the face to the injured soldier who gave more to this country than most. Lt Vogt sacrificed the use of his feet to serve us, and now his name is being dragged through the mud by sick people. When I pointed this out, no one responded, because they couldn't, and changed the subject swiftly, which was again easily pointed out as stupid.

The real man who lost his legs, Jeff Bauman, was instrumental in helping identify the current suspects, and we're thankful for that.

As for Lt Vogt, I apologize on behalf of all rational people, and this nation is grateful for your service. You deserve better than to be accused of being part of a heinous act, and I hope one day any and all people who claimed you were a willing participant in the Boston bombings at least apologize, or better yet, have their own legs amputated as repentance.

"I think the most and possibly only relevant question when it comes to whether or not a conspiracy theory will spread is, "Does this fill people's emotional needs?"" - Amanda Marcotte of Slate

Apr 9, 2013

We've come for the children

When you become a parent, you become really boring, or even a minor nuisance, to those without children. So often when I was single and childless I would hear complaints about breeders and how they were terrible parents and any little inconvenience they experienced at the hand of kids was paramount to being forced to endure a drug free root canal.

And yes, there were a few occasions I would witness the behavior of parents and shake my head, hoping that I would never become like them, but of course, as soon as my child entered the world I instantly became like all those that once annoyed me. I flood my Facebook friends' News Feeds with so many pics and videos of my daughter that I'm certain most have me on "hide". Instead of dining out on good local cuisine I meet friends, who are parents as well, at chain restaurants that cater to families and serving food that is neither interesting nor all that good. I eat dinner at 5p, so anyone that accompanies me to dinner has to be on the same schedule as that of a retired person. I make a poor drinking companion as I can't recall what it's like to sleep in past 8a and have to retire to bed by at least midnight.

But when I read complaints about parents online I have to wonder about a few of them:

  1. I was at restaurant/plane/theatre/etc and there was this screaming brat and the parents couldn't shut them up. Call CPS, for they're obviously failures at child rearing: If the parents made absolutely no attempt to calm their child, I can understand the annoyance and admit you have a right to complain about them, especially if they encourage the behavior, but if they do attempt to shut their noisy kid up and all their attempts are in vain, suck it up. If you are hearing this, chances are you're at a place targeted towards families, and there are many other venues or means of travel that'll lower the odds of you hearing a loud noise emitting from a wee one. It won't ruin the ambiance of fucking Olive Garden, so grow up and be glad you live a lifestyle that's consider lavish to 80% of the world's population. Getting a kid to quiet down can be as simple as asking Rick Santorum to donate money to GLAD. You can't reason with the unreasonable.
  2. Those parents didn't discipline their children according to my standards. Clearly they aren't suited to breed: This is something parents and non do alike, and I can understand it, but I've got a secret for you, kids are different and react to modes of discipline differently. Parents now live in fear of spanking, because godless communists will lock us up and take away our crotch fruit, so an immediate solution has been made more difficult. Sure there is time out and taking privileges away and all that, but to paraphrase Alfred, some kids just want to see the world burn.
  3. Parents are selfish because they're adding to the burden of the planet with an already non-sustainable population: That sound you hear is the breath taken from me upon hearing such eco-friendly wisdom. While this can be a decent point, it's made by douches who really like to sound like they're eco-warriors, but in reality they give two shits about the environment, and they know it. Now if the point was made about adopting a child who needs a home, well I can't argue that, especially being adopted myself, but really engaging in a biological act that'll help carry the species hardly seems selfish. If you really feel for those poor neglected children, adopt one, until then, don't make any judgments on my non adopting ass.
  4. I hate seeing all those photos of people's kids in my Facebook feed: You know what, I hate seeing those numerous posts of your political analysis, which is almost always stupid and pointless and it bothers me how you think you're smarter and edgier than you really are. I hate seeing those stupid quotes with accompanying drawings of people dressed from decades ago that are neither funny, clever, or insightful. I hate seeing those posts that tell your friends "This is why I (insert action that's supposed to make people be impressed with how much of an educated person you are of whatever the fuck subject you linked to). I grow tired quickly of hearing how your significant other is the best in the whole wide world. They're not, not matter how many times they put their dishes in the dishwasher or buy you a video game, or do any other task that anyone else could do just as well if not better. I'm sick of seeing all your damn pictures of dogs, cats, or any other animal doing things that every miserable beast of the same species does. I don't care what you purchased, eat, or visited. But you know what? I click like, because if any one of those behaviors make you happy, it does me joy to see that, because I'm your friend, and that's what friends do.
  5. Parents think they know everything: There's some truth to this, and it's made apparent with stupid mommy bloggers who hate vaccines and love alternative medicine and other associate nonsense, but these people are easy to ignore. And really they should be looked upon with pity rather than angst, as they're dumb people and haven't received the upstanding education you have. Sure there are the people who project some sort of smug superiority about being parents, but when I think about that, I've never met anyone like that in real life. Seriously, sometimes I wonder if those types only exist on the internet. Really, if you don't want to listen to a holier or smart than thou parent, it's easy not to, well unless you're their unfortunate offspring. Then it sucks to be you.
  6. Parents are responsible for everything that sucks in pop culture as they keep buying crap for their kids, like Justin Bieber tickets: Yes, I'm so glad your parents denied you the privilege of watching He-Man or Jem, and instead forced you to read Dante throughout your childhood, because that's exactly what you wanted to do. Since as a child you had such a refined sense of aesthetics, it only makes sense that the rest of the population follows your folks' lead. Oh and fuck off. Seriously fuck you for trying to take away a simple joy from a kid. You sucked as a kid, and you suck now. If your life is so centered around pop culture, then it's empty and hollow and meaningless. You really need to start examining what it is you bring to humanity, if anything.
  7. Parents who say "you have to be a parent to understand" as the end statement to their illogical behavior need to be punched in the face: OK I kind of agree, but I think violence may be going a bit far. Saying something to the effect of "by you stating that means your argument is groundless and has no basis in reality; therefore I win and you lose. Neener, neener, neener."
So yeah, non-breeders, kids run amongst you, deal with it. If you hate them, move to a retirement home and shut the fuck up.

"Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them." - P. J. O'Rourke

Apr 5, 2013

Another crazy encounter at work, as usual

I do like my job. I like how it always helps me broaden my skill set and gives me daily challenges to overcome, which can be enjoyable. But the people in this office worry me. Longtime readers will understand that I have strange encounters because a) God hates me b) I'm a freak magnet c) crazy folk love to get attention from Wiwille. Today was no different.

I was washing a dish in the work kitchen space, when I hear a man whisper softly into my ear that he liked my intensity. This conversation ensued.

Me: Uhhhh...great?
Him: I like how you wash that dish.
Me: As God as my witness no one has ever told me that, and you're really freaking me out dude.
Him: Yeah, I do that sometimes.
Me: What's it like being a weirdo?
Him: .....(walks off to gather his things from the printer).....

He went to the printer and solved his printing needs I assume. I sized him up, as I do most freaks I meet, wondering how this situation would go if things were to go all Hunter S Thompson style, but he didn't look at me and continued about his way.

I'm still a bit unsettled about the matter.

"A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?" - Albert Einstein

Apr 2, 2013

Wiwille goes hunting, ends as you would expect

I've been hunting before with results that were less than stellar. When I say less than stellar I mean I failed worse than Yahoo Serious' film career. I've never succeed at killing an animal, and maybe that's a good thing. I've never enjoyed deer, because it's not good. Spare me the whole "you just haven't had deer prepared or cooked properly." Yes I have what many have called properly prepared and cooked deer meat, and it's not good. No matter how many times you tell yourself it's tasty, it's not.

So a few weeks ago the family packed up and headed to Tyler Texas to visit some relatives on a spot of land they own which is about the size of Delaware. After some touring of the property, eating of a fine lunch, feeding cows, and shooting firearms, it was decided that some of us were off to hunt feral hogs.

Yes feral hogs. Currently estimated to be over 2 million in population in the state of Texas, the swine is considered a nuisance animal as it breeds rapidly and destroys livestock, farmland, various structures such as fences, and humans. The state of Texas is dedicated to reducing the population of the pigs to a reasonable level that they pretty much will allow anyone to kill the miserable creatures. You can even hunt them without a license, so long as you have permission from the land's owner, which we obviously had. You can use pretty much any weapon you choose, from knife to any legally purchased and owned firearm. Some farmers and ranchers will even pay you to roam their property and bid good riddance to the animals, and thus a cottage industry was born.

So my brother in-law handed me an Bushmaster AR-15 (yes the very same model used in the Sandy Hook tragedy) and told me that would be the weapon I would use should we come across any hogs. He loaded up a .45 caliber piston, and he and his young cousin piled in the back of a sport utility vehicle with me, similar to that pictured below:

Because nothing says getting closer to nature than being escorted around in an internal combustion vehicle.
The youngest didn't pack heat as she was just more curious about the affair. Her uncle loaded up his firearm and sat in the passenger seat while Al, the relative we were visiting, drove us into what seemed miles from civilization. We kept our eyes fixed on the wilderness before us, ready to take aim and fire upon creatures that wouldn't hesitate to feast upon human genitalia.
We saw some deer, which weren't worth shooting, but it was cool seeing those majestic creatures do deery things, such as run, jump, and repeat the process over and over again. We saw ducks and all kinds of fowl take flight onto the horizon, and we saw huge tracts of land. What we didn't see is a single hog. I never even took aim with my rifle at any point, which I guess is just as well. I'm not that good of a shot, so I can't speak with 100% confidence that I could hit a charging hog, but I can say that I would of, because I'm awesome and have many moments of awesomeness.
So again, I have failed to do the one task asked of someone hunting. There was no bacon for us that day, which is really depressing when you think about.
"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it." - George Bernard Shaw

Mar 29, 2013

Sarah PAC needs your money

Sarah Palin has a Super PAC, but I'm puzzled as to why this could possibly be. Sure the former half term governor and failed VP candidate is currently unemployed as Fox News decided her paycheck demands weren't worth it, and her constant need for the limelight is in jeopardy, but she's made it very clear she's no longer going to run for office. So what has the former reality television "star" done lately to keep the attention on herself? Well she's been speaking at events, most notably CPAC, where she's often paid a lot of money to show off her folksy wisdom and rally her base of the few fans she has.

So she's been trotting around the US trying to get others elected, and now her Super PAC has released a video showcasing her stellar skills at owning an audience. To be fair, she does own a stage. No that is not sarcasm. The video in question:

The video you just watched wants you to conclude that Palin is effective at rallying the voters to choose the GOP at the polls. Well crafted as it is, it can make even the most ardent liberal thank that. So I looked up the numbers for her 2012 picks, people she tried to help win their campaign. The results:

  • Paul Gosar - Arizona: Winner. Not shocking considering the state.
  • Representative Allen West - Florida: Loser, and we're all thankful for this.
  • Mia Love - Utah: Loser.
  • Representative Jeff Flake - Arizona: Winner. Again it's Arizona.
  • Martha Zoller - Georgia: Loser. Yes she couldn't get this person elected in Georgia.
  • Kirk Adams - Arizona: Loser, surprisingly given the state.
  • Governor Scott Walker: Winner. What's weird about this one is that he thought he needed Palin's help.
  • Dan Bongino - Maryland: Loser.
  • Ted Yoho - Florida: Winner. I had a teacher named Mr. Yoho. Hell I'd vote for him just on his name alone.
  • Senator Orrin Hatch - Utah: Winner. Yeah, being a solid Senator for years, and a Republican Mormon in the State of Utah, I doubt Palin's help was warranted.
  • Ted Cruz - Texas: Winner. A Republican being elected in Texas? I'm shocked! Of course Cruz has come out and stated how he wouldn't be elected if weren't for her. Yeah.
  • Deb Fischer - Nebraska: Winner.
  • Richard Mourdock - Indiana: Loser. Not shocking as this is the same guy who claimed pregnancies as the result of rape are God's will.
  • Lieutenant Governor Rebecca Kleefisch - Wisconsin: Winner.
  • Representative Sandy Adams - Florida: Loser.
  • Sarah Steelman - Missouri: Loser. She even lost the primary election, which is a spectacular fail when you consider she had one of the most visible Republicans at her side.
For those not keeping score, Palin has a record of 7-8, which I guess is better than the Dallas Cowboys, but not enough to be impressed with. In fact, it's pretty damn awful and anyone who's graded on wins and losses with this as their accomplishment for the year could either be a) fired b) forced to resign with a small severance c) a five year contract with the Cleveland Browns d) found unconscious in the restroom of a transsexual bar in Oklahoma City.

So Palin, who laughingly had a documentary about her called Undefeated, is still a loser and her Super PAC, called Sarah PAC, wants you to donate to help a failure continue to be such. That is the logic of today's GOP, and it's pathetic. If the GOP is to ever turn itself around it needs to produce winners, and Palin is clearly not the one to do that. Republicans shouldn't be known as the party of bad investments.

"Buck up or stay in the truck." - Sarah Palin

Mar 27, 2013


I've written about my thoughts on gay marriage already, so I won't bore you with why I think those that aren't in favor of marriage equality are thinly veiled bigots. No this won't be a well thought out point by point argument for same sex weddings. It'll just be a gentle reminder for anyone who opposes people getting married, for they are wrong.

Yes you're wrong, and history will remember you as bigots. Remember when you saw those students being denied access to a public education because they were black, or how people look back at those who vehemently protested interracial marriage? You looked down on those people, and rightly so, but people years from now will see you just as you did those racists who rallied to the defense of Jim Crow. Well that's assuming you disagree with segregation, and your stance on gay marriage seems to indicate you're all for it.

You've failed. You've failed to create a compelling argument against gay marriage in every respect. To be fair, there is no reasonable point to make regarding barring adults from getting married, so it was a lost cause anyone. Yet, oddly enough, you still continue to make these dumb arguments even though you have to know you're wrong. I mean seriously, when has denying adults rights gone well in our country's history?

The Supreme Court may not rule in favor of gays being married in all states, but they will at some point, and you will go down in history for your wrongness. How does that feel? You'll be in the same company as racists, Sarah Palin supporters, and people who think baseball is a game that should be enjoyed. Eventually your time will come, and you will be defeated in every conceivable way. You know it, so give it up now and allow people the right to marry and to enjoy the many benefits therein. Be on the right side of history for a change.

"Those who condemn gay marriage, yet are silent or indifferent to the breakdown of marriage and divorce, are, in my view, missing the real issue." - Malcolm Turnbull

Mar 20, 2013


They say it takes a village to raise a child, and they're right, but what happens when that community fails on every level imaginable. That's what's happening with the story from Steubenville. Yes I know most of you are sick of hearing about it, but really, we should always remember events like these and continually engage in discussion about it. The only way we can possibly, well humanely, prevent rape is to take a stand, speak out, and list those complicit in it for the worthless scum they are.

Now the events of the Steubenville case, while shockingly barbaric, are none too surprising. The town seemed to try to harbor the rapists for whatever reason, probably because they were athletes, maybe because they were popular, or maybe because people don't want to accept that rape happens. It could be all of those reasons, but I'll never know, nor care, because it's baffling to me that anyone would defend someone who sexually assaults another person. An vocal group in the community rallied in support of the two boys pictured above. The same two boys who stripped naked and sexually assaulted an intoxicated girl in the middle of a party. A party where no one defended the girl, nor even went so far to tell those two boys to stop. The same two boys who were filmed doing such an act, and then even going further as to mock and ridicule the girl online and off. Yes these are the town's heroes.

The reason why I say it's none too shocking is the fact that in some small ways a lot of us have indirectly condoned rape. Many Catholics still go to mass and tithe even after they are fully aware that the church was complacent in harboring child rapists. Many called, and are still calling for whatever reason, to the defense of Joe Paterno when he didn't do enough to stop a subordinate from molesting small boys, which is fucking unbelievable. Seriously if you're a Paterno supporter, go to hell. I'm not kidding. Go to hell. There are countless other sexual assaulters who've gotten free passes for whatever reason and still remain largely in the public eye, such as Mike Tyson, Roman Polanski, and many others. Politicians (and when I say politicians, I mean Republicans) have brought the issue of rape into the public discourse in ways so stupid it's disturbing.

But to say these two men are the only ones who destroyed this young girls life is naive, if not ridiculous. All the citizens of Steubenville, and even the ones who live outside of the borders of that shit hole, who have defended these two, mocked this girl, or made light of the crime in any way do not deserve to breath oxygen. Harsh I know, but it's true and you know it. They have made her life that much more miserable, if you can imagine it. They posted nasty things about her, the victim, online and as we all know, the internet is forever. Pictured below are just a few of the online threats and taunts the victim received from people who apparently think men having their way with women is not a big deal:
Yes even girls are defending these guys. I mean, what the hell?

Then there are the adults in the community and much like many archdioceses across the nation, if not world, they attempted to shield these two boys from prosecution. Seriously, they didn't want them to face a trial for committing such a heinous act. Even their coach tried to sweep it under the rug, going so far as threatening a reporter who was working on the story.

Look at this face, for this is the face of a pig fucker who deserves to die of cancer of the ass.

I have a daughter now, and to think I have to have a conversation about rape with her saddens me to no end. Things I should never have to say to my daughter, but feel compelled to:
  1. Do not get drunk at a party - She should be able to drink more than a member of the Kennedy family and not have to worry about a man, or woman, attacking her.
  2. If you know you're going to be around guys, watch your behavior or dress - She should be able to walk naked through Hooters and not have to worry about groped, or worse.
  3. You should carry mace, or a gun - Daughters around the world should not have to feel more comfortable brandishing a weapon just for simply going on a date, or to a party, or anywhere for that matter.
  4. If something happens, report it immediately - I can't think for the life of me what other crime exists where people are hesitant to go to the authorities and rape should be no different.
It's truly up to us to stop this nonsense, and I wish everyone and anyone who threatened or harassed this girl will serve a massive amount of jail time. Those who witnessed and cheered, or did absolutely nothing to stop this, deserve worse. Yes I'll go all medieval and say they need to live in Oklahoma for the rest of their lives.

We all need to step up and be the village that raises the next generation to look and treat rape appropriately, and it's amazing that that needs to be typed, but it does, and this makes me sad. So seriously, talk to your kids about rape, be aware of it, and be vigilant about ending it. My mother, sister, wife, daughter, and all of my loved ones should live in a world free of sexual violence.
It's so simple not to rape someone, and I can't imagine why someone would even want to do it, or why someone wouldn't want to condemn it, but here we are.
"Rape, mutilation, abuse, and theft are the natural outcome of a world in which force rules, in which human beings are objects." - Chris Hedges

Mar 19, 2013

Ten years

March 19th, 2003: Then President George W Bush announced US forces would thumb its nose at the UN and launch a ground invasion of Iraq, with the goal of toppling the Bath regime and its notorious leader, Saddam Hussein. I watched in some agony as I couldn't imagine what it would mean to be a citizen of Iraq. Sure during the first Gulf War in the late nineties they probably saw war coming as almost every UN member state saw the occupation of Kuwait as ridiculous and needed to end immediately, and most Americans thought the action was necessary even though few of them could point the country out on a map. But there we were, watching an ignorant Republican declare war against a country that has never attacked us, based on the idea that they may or may not have wanted to, with weapons they may or may not have possessed.
I tried to rationalize what the administration was thinking, even going so far as to try to give them the benefit of the doubt, but was for naught, as there was no logical reason for this to happen. Many people would perish while we were busy taking a two bit dictator who could barely feed his country out of the world community. The faulty, and possibly falsified intelligence laid bare to the world wasn't enough to convince most rational thinking Americans that this was necessary, nor did it sway the Security Council.
Still we went in and toppled a mostly defenseless country, and in turn their citizens decided to strike back. Few hearts and minds were won and our forces ended up fighting non-uniformed insurgents who were none to happy to have their country occupied by a foreign power. Months went on and bodies piled up, and we wondered if this would ever end.
Sure no one misses Sadam, but in the war on terror he was hardly a player, much less a formidable enemy. Al-Queda grew in their solidarity against us, and their leaders kept popping as we claimed we killed the number two man in power over and over again. Do we feel any safer now that the Bath party doesn't exist?
Saddam was a lot of things, a horrible murderous tyrant who inflicted much pain and suffering on his people, but he was also the monster we created. We helped him stay in power for so many years, even going so far as giving him weapons of mass destruction to wage war with Iran. America became the irresponsible parent, and rather than try and reign in the spoiled brat we raised, we ended up killing him for the transgressions we helped him achieve. At the end, we saw images of him in his tightey whiteys and breathed a sigh of relief when he was put to death.
So what now for Iraq? We no longer hear about the nation we devastated, and now that they have democracy we may pay an ugly price for what we did there. I hope the country can forgive us, but I'm not optimistic. Hopefully they're enjoying their freedoms, liberty that they never had under Hussein, and maybe one day they'll be prosperous and we can look back and think something good came out of this expensive conflict, but I'm not optimistic.
"Politics is when you say you are going to do one thing while intending to do another. Then you do neither what you said nor what you intended." - Saddam Hussein

Mar 15, 2013

Wiwille's writing a book

When I'm not sparring ninjas or live underwear modeling I've been writing a book. Yes a book. It's got words. It even may have pictures.

But it's a book, and it'll be worth a read. Well granted it's written for a select audience and it may be only available online, but it's got like sentences and punctuation, punct-punct-punctuation.

It's ended up with me staying up late and writing, and it has kind of taken its toll. I just close the laptop feeling exhausted and finally rolling my ass to bed at a time that's not exactly reasonable. But oh well, it's a book and it should be written.

More details to come.

"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done." - Stephen Wright

Mar 8, 2013

Wiwille plays North Korean video game, with results as you would expect

I've played a great many video games in my life, and consequently I've suffered through many a sup par experience with digital gaming. Yes I've attempted to conquer notoriously terrible games such as Superman for the N64 and the infamous and barely playable E.T. for the Atari 2600, but today I've come across a relatively new game made by the friendly folks that make up the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Yes when those wacky North Koreans aren't starving or being tortured in gulags, they make video games for the glory of Juche. Actually its made by a German company that outsources its IT development to North Korea (how the hell they got investors on that business model is anyone's guess). Thanks to a partnership with Koryo Tours, a Beijing based company that provides what I can only imagine as being a wonderful vacation in Pyongyang, the world can be exposed to communist video gaming.
Now I have a weird obsession about North Korea and spend more time following the news of the hermit kingdom than is reasonable or healthy. The fact that it's still a country fascinates me, and I can only imagine visiting there to be a trip back in time, given their limited technology and infrastructure. To me it would seem like stepping into 1947 USSR, and I'm really curious what that travel experience would be like.
Often I'm told that the DPRK is nothing like what we see or hear of it, but if this game is any indication of how backwards Pyongyang is, I'm skeptical of such opinions. The game is laughably bad. I've found and played better games in the bargain gaming bin of Target for $3 in 1997 than this drek. The game is called Pyongyang Racer, which the title alone makes me chuckle at the idea since there's reportedly very few cars in the country. To the game's credit, it reinforces such stereotypes as you rarely encounter another vehicle. You race around Pyongyang, an area most visitors are restricted to visit anyways, but you don't actually race any opponents. With controls that are actually worse than any game I've ever played, you drive around the DPRK capital with no indication of how fast you're actually going. The goal is to drive into barrels of oil, which convert to fuel, so I'm guessing the car's a diesel, but who the hell knows. You start with a horribly animated traffic girl telling you to drive straight and not to stare at her, as she's on duty. I would imagine a better reason would be that you're driving an automobile and staring at women while in operation of one can be dangerous, but since there's little to run into I guess that makes sense. Staring is rude even in the land of people who believe in unicorns.
Funny how she doesn't want you to look at her when she's larger than the actual car you're driving and takes up a quarter of your screen.
You keep driving and continually fumble with frustratingly horrible controls and sometimes you come across some weird black thing hovering in the road, which gives you information about the site you're coming up on. Sure you can stare at where the Mass Games are held, but looking at a woman is frowned upon. I started to get bored, so I decided that I wanted an off road experience, but the game reset my car back into the horribly pixelated road. Yes the graphics are so terrible they can't even make a street convincing.
There's only two ways you can lose Pyongyang Racer, you can run out of fuel or you can hit a car three times. 
It tells you that you can't hit three vehicles, but as I painfully learned you can't even hit one vehicle three times. Thanks Dear Leader for not clearing that up.
There are three things I can positively say about the game:
  1. It's free.
  2. It was better than I expected, and is still better than some games the US produces.
  3. The sites you see are well crafted, compared to the rest of the game.
While you're on your journey you are being constantly being fed a loop of music that is so awful I can only imagine the state police use it to torture people in their gulag prison system. Not surprisingly I got bored, closed the browser, and reflected on what the hell it was I just played.
While I do believe the only humane way to free the North Korean people from their ruthless oppressors is to open up communication with them and the rest of the world, this game is a poor start. It reinforces the idea that the DPRK is backwards, totalitarian, and behind the times in everything imaginable. If this was supposed to be an example of how glorious Juche is, then as a marketing venture it failed more miserably than New Coke. I do hope Kim Jong-Un can motivate his people to make something a bit better next time. Perhaps a RTS game with famous battles from the Korean conflict? Maybe a bit tasteless, but at least it would be more interesting. Then again it would probably be filled with scenes of Americans throwing babies into a well and South Koreans raping farm animals. How about Kim Jong-Il golf? Since he was far better than Tiger Woods, one can only think a game honoring his epic acheivements in the sport would make sense.

"This game was developed in 2012 and is not intended to be a high-end techological wonder hit game of the 21st century, but more a fun race game (arcade style) where you drive around in Pyongyang and learn more about the sites and get a glimpse of Pyongyang." - Pyongyang Racer's about page

Mar 7, 2013

I hate it when this happens

There are politicians that I despise, and those I find amusingly stupid, but there are times when even I have to break down and agree with them, well at least once in their miserable careers. Enter Rand Paul, son of the civil libertarian, cartoon character Ron Paul, who for whatever reason named his kin after a philandering self indulgent atheist hack writer, who has now taken his father's place as a self described white knight of the precious Constitution. Railing against the TSA, IRS, and any other easy target, Paul Jr came off as atypical of libertarian leaning Republicans, quick to hate on the government and proclaim themselves the last line of defense of liberty.

So enter President Obama and his National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA) of 2012, which affirms the Executive branch the power to detain someone indefinitely without trial, which flies in the face of our Bill of Rights and is not shockingly something I'm highly against. Granted, the President has claimed he would not abuse said privilege and will not allow the military to do such a thing, but allotting that power is scary and should've never been done. Thankfully the Supreme Court agreed and all is well, but of course the Pauls take full credit for this.

But now we face an even stranger and more disturbing Executive power, the privilege to kill an American citizen with a drone strike on or off US soil, without Constitutional due process. Granted Eric Holder's office claim that it could only be used in extreme circumstances, and really I'm not entirely concerned that Obama will just go off and kill anyone indiscriminately with unmanned aircraft, but to have that ability in the hands of lesser men seems terrifying to me, and I can't see why the White House wouldn't just let go of this.

As Rand Paul got a letter from Holder describing the right to kill an American citizen, and the highly unlikely scenario that would trigger that order, he decided that the Justice Department has gone too far and filibustered the nomination of Brennan to head the CIA. Paul tried to get the Senate to pass a resolution that would restrict the use of drone attacks on non-combatants, but it seems that has gone nowhere.

The thing that sucks is I agree with Paul, and his cohort Sen Ted Cruz. Yes normally I find their rhetoric stupid, such as Cruz's conspiracy theories and Paul's belief that the Tea Party is a legitimate grass roots movement and that abortion is somehow the only social issue that shouldn't be left up to the states, but today I hate to say that I stand with Rand. Fuck I can't believe I just typed that.

American politics has never been black & white, nor ever will be.

"You must surely be making Jimmy Stewart smile," - Ted Cruz to Rand Paul

After almost 13 hours, Paul ends filibuster that thrust drones into spotlight

Mar 1, 2013

Where Oscar went wrong

I don't watch the Oscars, which sometimes puzzles those that know me as I love movies, but I haven't sat and watched the award show in years. It really makes little sense to me why it's so popular as it really is useless. I really have little desire to see celebrities vote for themselves and have the largest circle jerk of the year. While I don't watch them, I do see the results later in the news, shrug my shoulders, and carry on my business as if they never existed. Granted some of the winners baffled me and still do, and shows how much of a wide disconnect the viewing public (including paid critics) and industry insiders have. So I'll list the most baffling Oscar wins and nominations according to me. You may think this is an opinion, but oh no, this is fact, because I said it. So there.
  1. 2006 Best Picture Winner "Crash" - A lot of hate was tossed around for this film after it took Hollywood's most coveted award, but I can't bring myself to completely dislike it. It wasn't a bad ensemble film, but it was far inferior to the rest of the movies in the category, including "Brokeback Mountain", "Capote", "Good Night and Good Luck", and "Munich". Since Crash had such a star studded cast they may account for the amount of votes it got, but I still can't fathom a universe where it ranks as the top, when it's nomination was questionable.
  2. 2004 Best Picture Winner "The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King": I love the LOTR trilogy and it's probably the best adaptation of Tolkien's masterpiece that anyone could've hoped for, but I'm hard pressed to rank it higher amongst other superior films nominated that year, namely "Mystic River" and "Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World". I can understand the academy giving Peter Jackson the Oscar though, given the great achievements of the three films, but I still think a film should stand on its own merits, especially when judged amongst others.
  3. 2003 Best Picture Winner "Chicago": This is quite possibly one of the most plotless Best Picture winners that I can think of. While visually impressive with good musical numbers, there's very little story here and when the actors are clearly better suited to the song and dance rather than reading lines. I doubt anyone can say this movie is better than "The Pianist" with a straight face.
  4. 2002 Best Picture Nominee "Moulin Rouge!": Why the hell was this nominated? I mean I get how some people were excited to see a resurgence of musicals, but instead they got this annoying dreck. There's nothing subtle about this heavily edited nonsense and the visuals jump from being beautifully striking to murky and horrific. The covers of various pop songs are highly inappropriate considering the film's setting, and the love story just falls flat. Somehow Academy voters thought this should get a shot above far more engaging films such as "Memento" and "Monster's Ball".
  5. 2001 Best Picture Winner "Gladiator": A not terrible film that has a thin plot and only two memorable characters, but in no way should be honored higher than "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" or "Traffic".
  6. 1999 Best Picture Winner "Shakespeare in Love": The best achievement of this film is how it masks itself as cinematic wonder when really it's just corny and not as funny as it, or audiences, think it is. It's a remarkable take on the marketing of a film that this is held in such high regard, when in reality the jokes fall flat and are about as humorous as a Family Circle comic. Given all its flaws, I kind of enjoyed it, but what's even more remarkable is how this ranked higher than the four highly superior films in its category that year. Yes even "Life is Beautiful" is better, and you know it.
  7. 1998 Best Picture Winner "Titanic": I think the fact that this film won so many Oscars over the vastly superior "L.A. Confidential" is enough evidence to lay claim as 1998 being the lowest the Academy has ever sunk.
  8. 1995 Best Picture Winner "Forrest Gump": This was the award that solidified my already held belief that watching the Oscars were a complete waste of time. This syrupy, melodramatic, and devoid of humor film takes an overly nostalgic look through modern American history, but fails to entertain in any way. Sure it has its merits, such as acting and cinematography, but its too damn silly to be taken seriously. Stupid is as stupid does, and this movie is indeed stupid. This is another film that was the least of the pack, but still got the highest honor for reasons I can't explain.
  9. 1994 Notably absent film from the nominees "Malcom X": Sure Spike Lee may be a self righteous prick that nobody likes, but its hard to overlook Malcom X as a great film, and it should've at least taken a nomination. The performance from Denzel Washington alone made it worth watching, but that's no the only element in this movie that makes it remarkable. The photography and editing are almost flawless.
  10. 1991 Best Picture Winner "Dances With Wolves": Dances with Wolves is a stunning acheivement and a sweeping epic that will be remembered for generations. It's a great story that was marvelously directed by Kevin Costner, shockingly enough. With all its greatness, it's not better than Goodfellas. It's just not.
  11. 1982 Best Picture Winner "Chariots of Fire": There are few best picture winners more dull than this, and why this beat out the far superior in every way "Reds" will remain a mystery.
  12. 1981 Best Picture Winner "Ordinary People": I like this movie. I really do. It has some great acting and really is worth a look. But to think this movie is superior to "Raging Bull" is committing a film blasphemy so sinful one should be forced to spend the after life watching "She-Devil" and "Leonard Part 6".
  13. 1976 Best Picture Nominee "Barry Lyndon": While I love Kubrik's body of work, this is quite possibly my least favorite movie he did, and really I can't bring myself to watch it again. As dreary as it is dull and lifeless, Barry Lyndon serves no purpose and I can't imagine why it got nominated other than the fact it's the closest to an epic that year.
  14. 1974 Notably absent film from the nominees "Save the Tiger": In what is quite possibly is Jack Lemmon's greatest performance, and that's saying a lot, Save the Tiger is a great film about an aging Korean vet trying to cope with an ever changing society that doesn't need him anymore. Yet somehow this didn't get nominated while American Graffiti did. Yeah...
  15. 1967 Best Picture nominee "The Russians are Coming. The Russians are Coming": While this movie is charming and a funny indictment on cold war paranoia, it's not that good. When you consider such superior films weren't nominated, such as "Alfie", "The Professionals", and "The Naked Prey", one is left to wonder why this was even considered.
  16. 1964 Best Picture nominee "Cleopatra": There are very few huge spectacles like this that have equated to being such a bore, but Cleopatra accomplishes just that. Even Elizabeth Taylor went on record to denounce how dull this movie was, and I can't imagine anyone ever enjoying this, much less wanting it to be nominated.
  17. 1959 Best Picture Winner "Gigi": When it's not creepy (a guy singing about how he thanks God for little girls should've never happened) it's a dull tale of a girl who doesn't want to live in amongst the upper crust and abide by their rules as her genetics have paved for her. Yeah, it's just that gripping as it sounds. "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" should've taken the award home, and that is an indisputable fact.
  18. 1957 Best Picture Winner "Around the World in Eighty Days": The fact that this film, which is more of a travelogue than a well fleshed story, got to be best picture is proof enough of how meaningless the Oscars should be considered. Again you have the least of the bunch get the highest award. Stupid.
  19. 1953 Best Picture Winner "The Greatest Show on Earth": Out of all the Best Picture winners, this is my least favorite. It claims to have a story about a traveling circus that is neither engaging nor entertaining. As a spectacle it works ok, but to think it beat "Ivanhoe" and "High Noon" leaves me speechless.
And I'll leave it there, with this indisputable list of where the Academy got it wrong, so wrong.