Sarah PAC needs your money

Sarah Palin has a Super PAC, but I'm puzzled as to why this could possibly be. Sure the former half term governor and failed VP candidate is currently unemployed as Fox News decided her paycheck demands weren't worth it, and her constant need for the limelight is in jeopardy, but she's made it very clear she's no longer going to run for office. So what has the former reality television "star" done lately to keep the attention on herself? Well she's been speaking at events, most notably CPAC, where she's often paid a lot of money to show off her folksy wisdom and rally her base of the few fans she has.

So she's been trotting around the US trying to get others elected, and now her Super PAC has released a video showcasing her stellar skills at owning an audience. To be fair, she does own a stage. No that is not sarcasm. The video in question:



The video you just watched wants you to conclude that Palin is effective at rallying the voters to choose the GOP at the polls. Well crafted as it is, it can make even the most ardent liberal thank that. So I looked up the numbers for her 2012 picks, people she tried to help win their campaign. The results:

• Paul Gosar - Arizona: Winner. Not shocking considering the state.
• Representative Allen West - Florida: Loser, and we're all thankful for this.
• Mia Love - Utah: Loser.
• Representative Jeff Flake - Arizona: Winner. Again it's Arizona.
• Martha Zoller - Georgia: Loser. Yes she couldn't get this person elected in Georgia.
• Kirk Adams - Arizona: Loser, surprisingly given the state.
• Governor Scott Walker: Winner. What's weird about this one is that he thought he needed Palin's help.
• Dan Bongino - Maryland: Loser.
• Ted Yoho - Florida: Winner. I had a teacher named Mr. Yoho. Hell I'd vote for him just on his name alone.
• Senator Orrin Hatch - Utah: Winner. Yeah, being a solid Senator for years, and a Republican Mormon in the State of Utah, I doubt Palin's help was warranted.
• Ted Cruz - Texas: Winner. A Republican being elected in Texas? I'm shocked! Of course Cruz has come out and stated how he wouldn't be elected if weren't for her. Yeah.
• Deb Fischer - Nebraska: Winner.
• Richard Mourdock - Indiana: Loser. Not shocking as this is the same guy who claimed pregnancies as the result of rape are God's will.
• Lieutenant Governor Rebecca Kleefisch - Wisconsin: Winner.
• Representative Sandy Adams - Florida: Loser.
• Sarah Steelman - Missouri: Loser. She even lost the primary election, which is a spectacular fail when you consider she had one of the most visible Republicans at her side.

For those not keeping score, Palin has a record of 7-8, which I guess is better than the Dallas Cowboys, but not enough to be impressed with. In fact, it's pretty damn awful and anyone who's graded on wins and losses with this as their accomplishment for the year could either be a) fired b) forced to resign with a small severance c) a five year contract with the Cleveland Browns d) found unconscious in the restroom of a transsexual bar in Oklahoma City.

So Palin, who laughingly had a documentary about her called Undefeated, is still a loser and her Super PAC, called Sarah PAC, wants you to donate to help a failure continue to be such. That is the logic of today's GOP, and it's pathetic. If the GOP is to ever turn itself around it needs to produce winners, and Palin is clearly not the one to do that. Republicans shouldn't be known as the party of bad investments.

"Buck up or stay in the truck." - Sarah Palin