Nov 29, 2012

The UN creates a better world once again!

After decades of occupation and strife, Palestine has finally achieved statehood, so now they can live in perfect harmony side by side with Israel, with both having mutual respect for one another's right to exist, and they can continue ongoing trade and cultural exchanges that will mutually benefit each other in reaching a standard that the world will follow, one that'll show the citizens of Earth that even though people who feel they've been given land by divine right, they can resolve their differences with a UN vote and everyone will be as blissfully happy as they were when they heard the news that Charles in Charge would be renewed for a second season, and as it will serve as a model for generations as humans will look back at the dark, hideous time when Arabs and Jews were slaughtering each other for the sake of governing the land God gave them, our great-great-grandchildren will drop their jaws in wonder at how humans could've committed such horrible acts against each other, but they'll be able to see how powerful and great the UN is, or was maybe, for they have given the Palestinians exactly what they wanted, non-member observer statehood, which is all anyone really wishes and prays for, hell it's what I've asked Santa to bring me this year as I've been a good boy and prayed for the health and welfare of all the people in the whole wide world, and I'm sure that was the number one goal of Hamas, Hezbollah, and all the other Palestinians who teach their children about rocket technology by installing a launcher in the middle of a school, because they believe, as do I, hands on education is the best way to learn, and Israeli settlement dwellers was to see the Palestinians get their sort-of membership into the world community which is the highest of honors, and Jews would be very happy to pack up from the homes and wave goodbye as they move across the British Accord border and wish their former Palestinian brothers, who they left a bag of Baked Lays and a 2 liter bottle of Mountain Dew: Code Red as a parting gift, a good life filled with joy and an everlasting supply of pink unicorns, and I'm sure they'll greatly miss watching the flowering democracy Palestine has grown to be, and will continue to be, as they now have no need to send suicide bombers into crowded coffee shops, nor does Israel have to open fire on a crowd of civilians as multiple armed bad guys hide out and take pop shots at troops, for those days are over and a new golden age of....

...sigh, I have no idea what exactly the UN members thought they would accomplish with this. One thing is for certain, there are only three road maps for peace. Either a) the long and drawn out process of both sides continuing negotiation, and educating themselves out of iron age myths, b) the Security Council members jointly invade the region and enact peace through an iron fist, or c) turn the whole place into glass. I'm not really sure how effective the last option is. Yes I'm that cynical about Israel/Palestinian peacehood.

"Progress towards a just and lasting two-state solution cannot be made by pressing a green voting button here in this hall," Rice said in a speech to the assembly. "Nor does passing any resolution create a state, where none indeed exits, or change the reality on the ground. This resolution does not establish that Palestine is a state." - Susan Rice

The United Nations General Assembly has voted to recognize Palestine as a non-member observer state


One Bad Apple said...

...or we heavily arm the Israelis and then turn a blind eye as they "get to work." Just a thought, since Israel is the only real ally we have in the region.

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