Oct 3, 2012

Questions I wish were asked.

The Presidential debates will be held tonight, and the general public seems largely uninterested by the whole affair. It kind of makes sense, because after months of campaigning I would imagine most people are already certain of who they're voting for and no amount of debating will change that. Unless one of the candidates rips open their shirt to reveal a swastika tattoo on their chest they'll just be preaching to the choir.

Still there are some questions I'd love to see answered at the debates. Below are a few:

  1. Mr Romney: What is the price of a gallon of milk?
  2. Mr President: Why haven't you proven to the American people that you aren't a militant Muslim from Kenya?
  3. Mr Romney: Will you campaign for Todd Akin if asked?
  4. Mr President: Why do you hate Israel?
  5. Mr Romney: Since you have a running mate that has pledged to cut all sorts of government assistance from the Congressional budget, will you pledge to slash Medicare, Social Security, military pay and benefits?
  6. Mr President: At what point in your life did you accept Marxist socialism?
  7. Mr Romney: Have you ever balanced a checkbook?
  8. Mr President: Why does our Vice President seem to act like the fictional character Gomer Pyle?
  9. Mr Romney: Will you nominate former Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin to your cabinet, and if not why do you hate women?
  10. Mr President: Why the hell did it take so long for you to change your stance on gay marriage?
  11. Mr Romney: The LDS church seems to believe that Native Americans are the descendants of the Lamanites, and those of them who accept the Book of Mormon teachings will hail a new Jerusalem in the US. Under your leadership, will the BIA help construct such a city and where?
  12. Mr President: When our ambassador was being attacked and since you're such a coward you decided to appear on the insipid "The View", why didn't you storm out into the streets instead screaming "Take me! Take me!"?
  13. Mr Romney: Detail why the state of the economy is all the President's fault?
  14. Mr President: Detail why the state of the economy is all your predecessor's fault?
  15. Mr Romney: You're a smart guy, so why do you insist on being wrong when blaming the President for the state of the economy?
  16. Mr President: How is it that you secretly love terrorists, yet happen to have so many killed?
  17. Mr Romney: Does the other 47% really need to bother watching this? Isn't Honey Boo Boo on?
  18. Mr President: Guantanmo Bay...really?
  19. Mr Romney: Which of your sons would you be willing to sacrifice to engage in a ground war with Iran?
  20. Mr President: Why do you insist on being uppitidy with you enjoying craft beers?
  21. Mr Romney: William Claude Dukenfield warned against trusting those who don't drink. Why should the American public trust you?
  22. Mr President: Since you're obviously fond of selling arms to Mexico in order to help kill US border guards, why stop there? Can you help our neighbor to the south invade and take back Arizona?
  23. Mr Romney: Have you and your running mate sat through Atlast Shrugged Part 1 in its entirety, and if so, why do you hate yourselves?
  24. Mr President: At first pundits thought you may have a quite an election brawl on your hands, but now that it seems your opponent is incompetent as all fuck, what do you do with in your spare time as he's watching his poll numbers tank?
"Over the objections, where they sound like squealing pigs, over the objections of Romney and all his allies, we passed some of the toughest Wall Street regulations in history, turning Wall Street back into the allocator of capital it always has been and no longer a casino. And they want to repeal it." - Joe Biden

1 comment:

Miss Ash said...

I realized it was on when there were about 10 minutes left of the debate so I didn't bother to watch. But as you said I'm sure most people already know who they're voting for, I always do!