Jun 25, 2008

Coloring with Wiwille

The Lord and Savior Jesus has been portrayed in many respects. Most westerners know his image from renaissance paintings and biblical epics, but there are many who have fashioned him in other respects. Yes your author here once took liberties in Christ's choice of style.

I was in the third grade attending Catholic school. The teacher was educating us about Palm Sunday, a religious holiday celebrating the Messiah's return to Jerusalem to preach his word. According to the gospels Jesus rode into the city on a donkey while his followers laid down palm branches in front of him celebrating the son of God. This is not only significant because Jerusalem was the epicenter of Judea at the time, but Christ had many enemies in the town who wanted him dead and the act is known throughout the Christian community as a great example of his courage.

The teacher then passed out coloring papers with a picture of the Lord on a donkey. It was our assignment to color our savior and answer some comprehension questions. I took out my crayons and added some hue. As my teacher walked past my desk she stopped and looked at my paper.

"Erik," she asked. "Why do you believe Jesus wore a camouflage robe?"

"Uhh, cause he wanted to hide from his enemies?" She held back her laughter and explained to me that it was not appropriate to make Christ look like a member of the special forces, never mind that the style of camouflage wouldn't work in the desert city.

She shook her head after she got done giving me a lesson in Jesus' wardrobe. She told my folks about the incident later. Mom was not happy at the time, but now uses this incident to my embarrassment telling it to every girl I ever brought home. I think they reduced the time I got to spend watching G.I. Joe for a while. I just liked my deities being able to whoop ass.

Catholic school is the reason why I'm such an upstanding citizen today.

"And they brought the colt to Jesus and cast their garments on him, and He sat upon him. And many spread their garments upon the way, and others cut down branches off the trees and strewed them upon the way. And those who went before, and those who followed, cried, saying, 'Hosanna! Blessed is He that cometh in the name of the Lord! Blessed be the kingdom of our father David, that cometh in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest!'" - Mark 11:7-10

7 comments:

SareBeth said...

That's actually kinda cute.
Colonel Christ

Mizzle said...

Repent...or get the M16. As my dad says, Catholic School is reason why he is not Catholic.

Mang said...

PORK CHOP SANDWICHES ? GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4OPr_QxoFg

GEEE EYEE JOOOOE!

JLee said...

Catholic school, eh? So that's what happened to you. ha
I don't know...G.I. Joe had the beard and sort of looks Jewish. (at least the figurine did) Don't ask me why I had a G.I. Joe doll as a child. All I know is he got a lot of Barbie action. I think I'm off topic now...

Mattbear said...

Well, at a least you didn't draw him as a ninja. That's probably what I would have done at that age.

whatigotsofar said...

I would actually like to hear more from JLee and the Barbie meets GI Joe story.

Whatever...

Chances are, Jesus wore old ratty clothing. He wasn't exactly wealthy.

I'm trying to remember if I ever coloured Jesus when I was in Catholic school. If I did, it was probably a simple one colour robe with lots of colouring outside the lines. Crayola and I didn't get along back in the day.

Miss Ash said...

They should have encouraged your creative imagination to flourish!! He can wear whatever colour you want him to wear.