Jun 15, 2008

Booze, boobs, and box office.

I'm sitting here typing instead of sleeping. I should be in bed now, which technically I am, but again the insomnia fairy has struck. I might as well write myself to sleep.

I took Friday off to be a tour guide for the lovely Miss Ash and her friends Howard and Jason. What was interesting about them is they brought a long a doll they won in a claw machine, which was a black baby dressed in a chicken costume. Keeping with the theme of their own chicken costumes they were going to wear at a party the next day, they lugged that doll all around Seattle taking pictures of it with various landmarks and in very creative fashion.

Miles were walked as we strolled through downtown hitting the sites. Jason and Howard seemed opposed to spending much money so we did as many free things a humanly possible including visiting the library. Still I had fun as we walked around looking at stuff I normally wouldn't with a local. Howard was pretty set on visiting Olympic Sculpture Park, which I never even heard of. Turns out there was a reason for that. Miss Ash was kinda pissed we walked that far to see a bunch of large cones.

The day progressed and I started to crash. Sleep deprivation started to rear it's ugly head and I feeling a bit ill. I had to make my leave at around midnight as I had a seminar the next day and really didn't need to be practicing the martial arts hungover, so I made my leave without any heavy drinking sadly. I had a good time though and hope they did.

After the seminar the next day I headed up to Bellingham for an evening with Elli and Friend. We went to an Irish Pub and the drinking ensued. Elli introduced me to one of her employees to which she explained that she's heard all about me. She then whispered something in Elli's ear. Laughter took place as Elli explained I was not the guy who passed out in a bathroom at Target.

The employee leaned over and whispered something else in Elli's ear. Elli laughed again and said yes I am the one she wants as her maid of honor for her upcoming nuptials.

Yes you read that correctly.

She went on to announce I was to wear a gawdy dress, to which I agreed. When given a role you might as well take it all the way.

The night went on and the spirits went down my throat rather quickly. Car bombs. Oh you devil car bombs.

At some point I was talking to a hot Asian gal who is the girlfriend of one of Elli's employees. Her dress was a little revealing and her boobs seemed desperate for liberation. I kept informing her of the exposure, but she seemed unphased. I tried to maintain a gentlemanly appearance by looking away, but since the conversation was somewhat deep to people that are inebriated she insisted I look at her.

Okay so I did catch a peek. I like boobs. Sue me.

I had a great time though hanging around the hot folks at a bar, drinking like I was 20 again, and having many laughs. I'm enjoying visiting Bellingham again, although each time I leave a bar I still wish my friend Kevin could've been with us. God rest his soul.

The next day I took my folks and nephews out for a Father's Day breakfast. I wanted to spend some time with dad today, but really both mom and him looked tired from running around with their grandchildren. I did the best thing I could for them and told my parents that I will take the boys off their hands for a few hours.

All involved were delighted.

Gabe and Corban pile into my car and were excited to go to the park to play. I asked them about sports and both insisted that baseball was a better game than football.

Oh this will not do. Nope not at all.

I immediately go and buy a nerf football and take them to a field. There I tried to teach them the basics of the sport, but mass confusion arose. Simply catching the ball was a chore for them, but when they did the boys would often start running the wrong way. I told them to head for the end zone, but as Corban scored his first touchdown he kept running till he got off the field. Call him an overachiever. I then had to explain where the field stars and ends to which they reminded me of the proper school yard terminology called "not playable".

We then played on the playground and later took them to see Ironman, which they loved. I took them back to mom and dad's for dinner and made my goodbye. I traveled home back to my life, back to the weekly ritual of work, gym, martial arts, etc. Wash, rinse, repeat.

I need a vacation.

"Football is a game of errors. The team that makes the fewest errors in a game usually wins." - Paul Brown


whatigotsofar said...

Black baby in a chicken costume... there's a fried chicken joke in there somewhere...

JLee said...

Wow, what a busy weekend! You need to go to work to rest ;)

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you had a good time. Good to read :)YOU were trying to be a gentleman about Boobs? I didnt know it was possible!

Miss Ash said...

We did have a good time and both Howie and Jason kept commenting on how gracious it was of you to show our sorry asses around all day long!

I am EXAMINING your comments.....EXAMINING! You probably have no idea what I'm referring to do you haha!

grace said...

Woah, that's more than I do in a year. Sad huh? Well anyways, sounds like a great weekend.