Feb 12, 2009

Thursday Music (Dating edition)

While I think I posted about music enough times in yesterday's blurb I thought I'd do something different today. With Valentine's Day just around the corner I thought I'd bring you a story involving my dating life. While I normally don't get too personal on this blog I thought this tale will entertain. So sit back with your coffee, avoid your work, stop beating your children with random objects, and journey down the river of Wiwille's dating life.

For purposes of this post will call this girl Trina.

I was at a board game party in Seattle where I met Trina. I was paired up with her best friend for a game of Trivial Pursuit. Her friend and I were kicking all sorts of ass and declared ourselves champions of all useless information. Trina was unhappy about her loss so I got her a drink. She said she had a Wii and was proficient at Mario Kart. I explained to her that I would school her in that game as I'm the greatest player to ever live. She doubted my skills.

Oh it's on.

We walk to her place trash talking and placing bets on who would be the winner. Trina takes me into her apartment and starts making drinks while I sit on the couch. I heard some weird noises at the door so I decided to open it. A girl ends up falling at me feet and moving around in a barely conscious manner.

This is how I met Trina's roommate.

I pick the girl up as Trina led me to her room. I set her down on the bed. She mumbles that she needs to use the bathroom. Great.

Trina asked me to get her in there and she'll take care of the rest. I cradle her roommate and carry her down the hall. I was rewarded by her throwing up all over me. I place the girl on the bathroom floor and Tina brought me some clothes to wear.

So there I am in the kitchen wearing some college sweatshirt and sweatpants, clothes are in the laundry, Trina is taking care of her drunk roommate, and I'm thinking this couldn't get any worse. I was clearly wrong.

The door flies open and in walks the best friend from the party. She crying and yells for Trina then sees me standing there in her clothes. She stops her sobbing and stares at me blankly. I suddenly realize what I sight I must've been and try to explain as best I could.

"No..no...it's uhh," I stammer. "There was puke...her roommate...I got these on...uhh...."

Trina appears and explains the situation. I go and gather the roommate from the bathroom and place her back on the bed. She was so bad off I thought calling an ambulance, but no one else agreed that would be a good idea.

The best friend was upset cause her boyfriend, who wasn't at the party, sent her a naughty text message. Problem was it was intended for someone else. Poor thing. After some conversation she makes her leave.

Oh and Trina kicked my ass at Mario Kart. It was embarrassing.

Although the night was pretty much a disaster she insisted that she would indeed like to see me again. I take her out to dinner and we're having a good time until some really handsome guy walks up to our table with his girlfriend. He introduces himself and says hi to Trina. We chat for a few and then he makes his way to his table.

Trina tells me that's her ex-boyfriend. Looking a little down we scarfed down our dinner and decided to get out of there. There was a bookstore across the street and Trina and I were killing time in there before our movie started. We were having fun going through books and laughing in the humor section, till her ex, along with his current gal, decided it would be a great idea to appear.

He walks up to us and decides to engage in small talk. The tension in the air was thick as I considered making him bleed, but Trina grabbed my hand and told him we were late for our Friday threesome.

When I heard that line I almost proposed marriage.

She drug me out of there as me and the ex stared each other down. Her and I decided to skip the movie and we got drinks where she explained that the guy cheated on her with his current girlfriend. Still the ex kept calling her begging Trina to take her back. It got so bad she was considering a restraining order.

Given all this she still wanted to see me again. I decided I would give it a go. Her ex still made things hard as having a phone conversation with her was a chore. He would call her over and over again as she kept sending him to voice mail.

I took Trina out again, but she had a spill and sprained her ankle so fierce I took her to the hospital fearing it may be broken. After a few hours there I took her home and assumed the role as nursemaid for the weekend. I was wondering if we would have any time together that wouldn't end in disaster.

The following Tuesday Trina IMs me in the morning stating she's running out of food. Since she couldn't drive I tell her I'd be by after the gym and pick up some groceries for her. Still I felt bad that she doesn't have anything to eat so that morning I make my way to her favorite deli. I pick up some food and drive to her place. Her roommate was just leaving for work and let me in the building, but not before she placed her hand on mine and declared me the sweetest guy I ever met. I thanked her, but found the interaction to be a bit strange.

I knock on Trina's door. The door swings open and I find myself standing there looking at her ex. It looked like he just stepped out of the shower. I see Trina there sitting on her couch with a horrified look on her face. We all looked at each other in silence. I finally threw the bag of food in the room.

"I brought you something," I told her and then immediately walked away.

I made my way back to the office. She IMd me numerous times and I explained that I didn't want to discuss this while I was at work and we would talk later. She ignored that and kept declaring how sorry she was and wanted to discuss it. I blocked her.

Trina then sent me so many text messages my inbox was full.

I just ignored all of them. I let a week go by as she insisted on calling and/or texting every day. Finally I pick up the phone and decided to talk to her. She was crying, explaining that she IMd me cause she felt terrible and wanted to talk, and basically preyed upon my sympathies to get me to come over later that day. Trina explained that she doesn't want to get back together with her ex and still wants to see me. I tell her I'd rather have my cock shoved in a paper shredder.

I wished her well and finally ended the conversation. She still texts me about once a week with messages saying she hopes I'm ok and asking for forgiveness. I don't respond.

As I told her I would have no problems with her having Romanesque orgies. We weren't exclusive and she could see whoever she wants. The fact that it was him though bothered me to no end. If it was someone else I'd still continue to see her, but seeing her ex standing there on a Tuesday morning changed everything. Yeah Trina's smoking hot and very cool, but I'm too old for this nonsense. I graduated high school years ago.

It may have been reckless to surprise her like that, but I thought it would be a nice thing to do. I would've never guessed I'd run into him, or anyone for that matter, on a weekday morning, but I guess I'll be more careful next time. Then again I'm really glad I encountered that. I feel like I dodged a bullet Matrix style.

So today for you good folks I bring you a song, a silly tune sure, but it's rather appropriate:

"Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion." - Scott Adams


Anonymous said...

Bitches, man.

ShaunFromWork said...

Dude. Jebus. Things like this are why my wife doesn't scold me for snorting when someone makes noise about not being able to find a 'nice guy'.

Mattbear said...

Man. I thought I was going to be getting some humorous dating-gone-wrong story there, but it turned out to just be soul-crushing.

You deserve a medal or something.

Anonymous said...

There seems to be a theme when it comes to the girls you date.. hmmm wonder what that means?