Feb 23, 2009


"I never make your blog," he said. "My Craigslist post has made it all over the internet. I'm an internet sensation."

"You've got your 15 minutes," I replied. "I've never gotten that."

"Yeah," he replied. "But your blog made Time magazine."

"True," I said. "I think only four people read that though."

"It sucks, cause I'm being plagiarized. People are posting that Craigslist ad as their own. You need to put it on your blog."

"Okay. I'll set the record straight with my four readers."

My friend Tad, aka The Jiggaman (pic above), went on a date that did not end well. When I say it didn't hit the romantic note most would expect when the ritual of boy meets girl is over I mean it ended in ways that was a tragedy of almost biblical proportions. After the outing Tad tried to contact the girl many times, but to no avail. She wouldn't answer his requests to speak with her. Feeling desperate to see this woman again he decided to turn to what everyone uses to seek one out. He posted his request on Craigslist. Below is said ad:

"We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don’t feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said “First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me” was meant to be funny, not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle’s lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don’t think anyone wins 100% of the time. That’s why they call it “gambling”. I’m the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better…like when you’re not sitting on a heated leather seat…

What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

I await your call,Tad

P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early…Touché…"

Indeed this post has circulated the internet faster than a case genital warts on a Saturday night in Capitol Hill. The post became so famous he even made the local news. (Scroll down till you see the bald, heavy set Asian guy kissing a pint of beer.)

Indeed this Craigslist post has been reposted and plagiarized to a great extent. Many are claiming authorship of said ad and this amuses and somewhat frustrates the Jiggaman. This fine crafted work of penmanship has been ripped off numerous times by those less clever. This will not do. I declare this day that the infamous work by my friend Tad will not be credited by those who are too lazy to put their wits to paper, or the internet in this case. The good fight will indeed be fought by the staff at Erik's Ramblings.

I'm shocked, shocked I tell you to report that after Tad finally made contact with the subject of his Craigslist ad that she declined to meet for a second date.

Stay tuned for the application to date Tad posted here on Erik's Ramblings. I know the suspense is killing you ladies.

"Two weeks ago, the woman finally contacted Keppler. She told him to “move on.” And he is—Keppler moved to Seattle last week in the hopes of finding a new job. But WW still salutes him—either for his ability to make up a damn funny Internet joke or his determination to pursue a whiff of true love, no matter how crappy the situation." - Kelly Clarke, Samantha Herman, Casey Jarman, John Minervini & James Pitkin of Willamette Week


mungsprout said...

these things always happen to tad

Mattbear said...

As normal when it comes to things Tad, I am at a loss for words.

Kelli said...

As with the others ... I'm at a loss for words, other than ICK and I don't blame her for not wanting the 2nd date.

Miss Ash said...

That just made me laugh out loud!! Brillant, just brilliant!

JLee said...

That is hysterical and even more funny that I'm sure people think it's made up. And congrats to you on your "Time" mention!

wv: "cowpur"

Pablo G said...

Great, now I'm so constipated only a strawberry milkshake from jack in the box will do