Imbibo

As some of you are fully aware I'll be traveling to Australia in a couple weeks. I've been doing some research as to what activities I'd like to partake in, because two weeks of straight drinking and doing my best to look at foreign boobies shouldn't be the only thing on my agenda.

I came across an article that claims that one in five Aussie drinkers would give up sex for drinking. Seriously. The report doesn't state if each one of them were women or not which shows a severe lack of journalistic integrity. I for one will not stand for it.

The article goes on to claim that some would even give up driving, their friends, and there are those who, wait for it, would toss their cell phones before they give up the drink. I could give up my friends easily, cause that would mean I wouldn't have to help anyone move ever again in my entire life. I could sit back and drink a cold Guinness while throwing peanuts at former acquaintances as they load their Uhauls. Then again I don't like to drink alone...hmm...this is tougher than I thought.

I've given a lot up for drinking as it takes up a good chunk of my bank account. I've lost personal items when under the influence, girlfriends, clothing, and my dignity. So yes I've sacrificed much in the name of the tasty beverages I love. If I tithed as much as I spend making the makers of Guinness rich I'd be as holy as the Pope.

"I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow." - Kinky Friedman

Sex, cars and mates play second-fiddle to Australians' love of booze