Sydney

I arrive at the Manly Wharf ready to take a ferry into Sydney. Yes the town I'm staying in is named Manly, which is all kinds of awesome. I order some coffee and hop on the boat.

The boat ride was largely uneventful, but as we turned a corner in the harbor we saw the Harbor Bridge and the Sydney Opera House appear on the horizon and it was one of the most breathtaking views I've ever seen. A local gal noticed I was captivated with the scenery and asked if I was Canadian or American. I was honest about my citizenship.

She asked what all I had on the agenda for that day and I pulled out my touristy map. She said her and her friend were going to meet her husband at the first stop and offered to walk me there.

We arrive in Sydney and I took some photos. We then walked down the waterfront to the Museum of Contemporary Art and I hear blaring techno music. Upon further research I find a native playing a didgeridoo to some electronic tracks with a mildly amused girlfriend clapping along. She was mostly there to sell CDs. He would pause and raise his hand signaling the crowd about some notes to come. It was actually kind of pleasant.

I put many miles on my feet as I visited museums, art galleries, parks, and the Botanical Gardens where I encountered a freakish amount of bats. I did my best Rauol Duke impression and got the hell out of there.

After all that walking around downtown I decided to visit St Mary's Cathedral, but I started feeling queasy. I had no idea what was wrong with me. I figured it may be the almighty punishing me for past, present, and future sins, but the superstition quickly subsided when I realized I hadn't eaten anything since that early morning croissant.

What am I twelve? I was having so much fun I forgot to eat. I was like a kid in Disneyland.

I was beat tired, sweaty, and probably was the least sexy I've ever been. I sit at an outdoor eatery where a waiter brought me a sandwich and some water. It was very tasty, but that's probably due to the fact I was so hungry. As I left he thanked me for my patronage, but I learned later that I shouldn't tip. No wonder the guy was so friendly.

I make my way to the Sydney Opera House and approach the box office to buy tickets.

"Hot out there mate," asked the employee?

"Yeah," I said. "I'm not used to this kind of heat."

"Yes," he agreed. "I just got a gust of wind." Yeah I was that ripe. I apologized for my smell and promised myself to carry around deodorant for the rest of the trip as reapplying would be wise and just good manners.

When I got back on the ferry home I found the gal and her husband. I told them all the places I went and they both were shocked at all I had done especially given the heat. I told them I would take it easy the rest of my holiday. Yes I said holiday.

They stood upwind from me. I don't blame them.

"I want to give my compliments to Australia. Ever since your government paid a few million dollars for a Jackson Pollack painting, I figure that it must be a marvellous country." - Morton Feldman