Apr 13, 2010

Wiwille's road trip

With car loaded to the brim with each and every single item I own I head on out to cross the Cascade Mountains. On I-90 on my way over Snoqualmie Pass I was pulled over by a cop.

"Are you moving," he asked?

"Yes sir," I responded.

"Where you moving to?"


"Texas," he exclaimed with a bit of a shock. "You're driving all the way to Texas?"

"I am."

"Are you nuts?"

"I've been called worse."

He pulled me over to ask if I had All Wheel Drive. Apparently Snoqualmie Pass was closed to traffic that didn't have chains. He politely told me I'll have to find another route.

I turn around and call Kelly and ask her to look up weather conditions for the other passes. She said Chinook Pass opened a few days ago and I should try it. I drove through Enumclaw, a town made famous for horse love, and journeyed through Green River. I start up the mountain and find a decent bit of snow which was a beautiful drive, until I found that the information given was incorrect. Sure there was a sign that said the pass is closed from Nov 1st - April 1st, but they meant it would be closed even longer I guess.

I start to drive back to Enumclaw, but my bladder wouldn't hold out on the long trip to civilization. I pull over and mark my territory out in the new fallen snow. The night sky illuminated the atmosphere as there wasn't any light pollution for miles. The stars were brighter than I've ever seen.

I decide to try White Pass, which in retrospect was a horrible idea. I arrive in Packwood, which had one gas station open. It had the old rotary dials on the pumps and a bathroom so tiny I swear it was built for a child. They served biscuits and gravy, sleeping bags, and various other items you wouldn't find at your local AMPM. The cashier looked at my car.

"You moving honey?" she asked.

"Yes mam," I answered. "I'm moving to Dallas."

"Texas," she exclaimed! "You're driving to Texas? Are you nuts?"

"So I've been told," I said.

I asked her if there was a place I could get coffee. She pointed me down the road to an all night stand.

I pulled up to the drive through and make my order. The barista looks at me quizzically.

"Are you moving," she asked?

"Yep," I answered. "I'm moving to Dallas."

"Texas," she asked? "You're moving to...."

"....yes I'm driving all the way to Texas. Yes I'm completely out of my tree."

She smiled as she finished my order. She then asked why I would be heading south. I told her and she called me a big sweetie and gave me my coffee for free. I thanked her and headed to White Pass, a drive I'll never forget.

To be continued....

"All new states are invested, more or less, by a class of noisy, second-rate men who are always in favor of rash and extreme measures, but Texas was absolutely overrun by such men." - Sam Houston


wigsf said...

All this effort, it better be worth it. There better be some Texas-sized vagina waiting for you in Dallas.

Anonymous said...

Do you honestly think he would trek across country for a vagina the size of Texas..? I know guys will go out of their way to laid, but common..
Did you loose your virginity yet wigsf?!