Oct 21, 2008

Leave him alone

So a man takes a walk in Canada, possibly sporting a tuque, with his dogs. His mission was to spot moose. Along the way he finds himself being rushed and attacked by a black bear. Fearful that he might...you know...die the man takes the best course of action and picks up a stick and bludgeoned the animal to death saving the life of himself and the canines.

Now that he's in recovery for numerous wounds the man from the north, who has more balls than any of you, is now under fire from animal rights activists for fatally injuring the bear. Many people have taken it upon themselves to call into radio shows and write local papers purporting to be the guy and change the story.

What even gets me more is that people are calling him harassing the guy about his method of self defense. One woman asked why he had to put down the bear and not simply run away from it.

Folks it's a friggin bear. Look I like animals that are cute as much as the next person, but if one attacks me I would defend myself from it. Guess what? So would you. Oh and you don't out run a full grown bear. They're fast. They have claws. They do not engage in the Care Bear stare. Sure they're skittish, but at times they'll kill you. I repeat they will kill you. If you were being attacked by a flesh eating predator you would not yell to someone nearby 'don't kill it. It has rights'.

I know all this cause I'm a scientist. This lab coat I'm wearing with the name tag Dr Wiwille proves it. Now back to my important research on boobies and the effect they have on mildly literate bloggers.

"There's what we expect bears to do and then there's what they do. Sometimes the two don't match." - Joe Clark



Bear-attack survivor faces new onslaught

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've heard that if you run zig zag patterns down a steep hill, a bear will not follow you or not be able to keep up with you. Otherwise, in the forest, it's kill or be killed.

Scott said...

That is insane. you gotta take that bear out any way you can. Gotta love the good folks at PETA or from wherever.

Mattbear said...

Had some bear "traces" in my yard a couple times this week. If it attacks me, I'll do anything I can to kill the mofo. I could use a bearskin rug.

Unknown said...

The guy did what he had to do ... kill or be killed. PETA (People Eating Tasty Animals) needs to be quiet or get fed to the bears they are trying to protect. It makes me want to ask them ... if those dogs would have been children would they have the same response?

As for the zig-zag down a hill thing ... that's to outrun an alligator (those buggers are fast!)