Abbatis

As I watch my nephews grow older they constantly ask me to take them to events that they haven't had the opportunity to witness. I usually take them to comic book films that are age appropriate, minor league sports, and places such as the zoo and the Pacific Science Center.

Now they want to go to professional sports, such as watching the Mariners. I'm not a fan of baseball, but I'll be happy to show the two a good time. The oldest nephew wants to see the G.I. Joe movie to which my father demanded I take them as he didn't want to sit through it.

I started journeying down memory lane and recalling all the things my own father took me to, such as movies, sports, etc. Granted he had fun watching me enjoy myself, but he would never be caught dead attending most of them.

My mother had a lot to do with it. She'd see a commercial on TV and look at my dad and suggest he take me to whatever they were advertising. She appreciated father/son bonding and encouraged our activities together. On top of all that I'm sure she was excited just to get us out of the house. Without us wrestling around and breaking stuff she got some peace.

Dad would often take me to movies. Some of them we both enjoyed (National Lampoons Christmas Vacation, The Hunt for Red October), but there were many he absolutely hated. Below are some of the movies my father struggled through in the theatre for my benefit:

Leonard Part 6: I think this is one of the few films that both he and I equally hated. Even it's star Bill Cosby went on the talk show circuit and recommended that people not see this. I don't even recall the plot anymore and that's probably for the best.

No Holds Barred: I was a huge fan of pro-wrestling. My dad was not. Still he took my friend Shawn and I to this. Really this was awful. It was so bad that even Hulk Hogan had a difficult time with acting even though he was playing a wrestler. Films don't get much more white trash than this.

To make matters worse there was some redneck couple in the audience who were clearly drunk and hooting and hollering through out the movie.

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure: He fell asleep during this one. Seriously.

The Dirt Bike Kid: It's a cute kid's movie, but has no appeal to adults whatsoever. Starring Peter Billingsley it's the story of a child who buys himself a motorcycle that's magic and somehow it helps him save his beloved baseball field. Yeah....

Better Off Dead: Quite possibly my favorite 80s comedy; however the humor was lost on my father. The only thing he said about it when we walked out of the theatre was regarding how weird he thought it was. Till this day it's the movie I quote the most.

If I ever find anyone dumb enough to marry me and conceive children I may have to suffer through equally banal entertainment, but if my kid enjoys those memories as much as I do it'll be worth it.

"It is a wise father that knows his own child." - William Shakespeare