Jan 27, 2010


I constantly hear comments from women about how much of a good guy I am and how they're amazed I haven't found the one yet. While I appreciate hearing such words the truth is I'm not all that pure. Yes my halo slips from time to time and I have done things that I'm not proud of by any means. Yes I'm a flawed human being as much as I hate to say.

I recently read an article in CNN about why men cheat, which concluded that they do so because they're unhappy in their relationship. While that's true, it only tells part of the story. Since I know many who cheat, and more importantly I have strayed once from a girlfriend, I'll give my list of why we boys do the things we do:

1. They're no longer attracted to the woman. - As most should know beauty is relative and guys get bored easily. Scarlett Johannson, Anne Hathaway, and Tyra Banks have all more than likely been cheated on. Yes I know that's difficult to believe, but someone looked at them naked at some point and said to themselves 'wow I really need to stick it elsewhere.' Men don't really mature, they just grow old.

When I hear women say 'no wonder they cheated, she/I got fat' I want to slap them. If a guy truly was a good person and loved his spouse then it wouldn't matter if they resembled Jabba the Hutt.

2. They like the excitement. - I know I joke about women being all addicted to drama, but most guys I know are the same way. They love the thrill of the hunt and the adrenaline really starts pumping when some tart makes herself available.

3. They're afraid. - This is the only explanation I can think of as to why I once cheated many years ago. I was a coward, afraid of falling in love and being vulnerable, so I acted in manners unbecoming of me. Thankfully years later she forgave me for being an ass clown, but I digress. Boys get scared and do some nutty things.

4. The sex is boring. - While this is a lame excuse it's one guys use all the time. As stated previously men get bored easily even if the girl does fuck like a porn star. Strange I know. Still it's kind of pathetic.

I once dated a girl for over a couple years and I never cheated. While this is not unusual in and of itself the catch was I never slept with her.


She was saving herself for marriage. When people found out about it they would often ask me why I put up with it. The best answer I could give was that I loved her. It was that simple.

Still it was hard, not just because of waiting till the wedding night, which obviously never came to be, but other women made it that much more difficult to stay faithful. Many a female found out about my celibacy and consequently a lot of them threw themselves at me. For some reason the fact that I vowed to respect my then girlfriend's decision to be a virgin until marriage made me hot in their eyes and I was continually offered a night of good loving from girls way out of my league. I never took them up on that, although I have to admit turning some of them down was harder than quitting smoking.

I should've kept their phone numbers as they would've come in handy after the girl broke up with me. I'm kind of dumb.

Women can be cruel, as are men of course, and they'll betray each other at the drop of a hat for selfish reasons. I guess the idea of stealing a man away from their beloved was exciting for them. While I don't condone cheating by any means, I can somewhat understand how a man can become weak willed when the temptation is all around.

Point is sex or no, a man who really is in love with their spouse will remain true to them. When a guy says the intimacy is lacking what they really mean is they're no longer into the one they're with. Sure great sex helps keeps a guy around and interested, but it's not the only element.

5. They're assholes - Look relationships should contain an element of respect and that includes not dipping your penis into random women to only do the same with your lady later. Spreading STDs is not a nice thing to do.

6. They don't like women. - You'll find many a guy who simply doesn't like nor respect girls. It should be obvious to women if the man they're involved with do or not. If they don't treat their mother well chances are they won't be good to you. Yes a lot of you should see the infidelity coming.

7. You were cheating. - If a guy finds out you've been slutting it up he'll knock up your best friend/family member almost immediately. Surprised? Most girls will do the same.

8. You won't shut your whore mouth while the men are talking. - Ok I'm kidding.

I hope this helps the female readership of One Bad Apple.

"Physical infidelity is the signal, the notice given, that all fidelities are undermined." - Katherine Anne Porter


JLee said...

Very interesting list. I read an article, well E-book really, about why women cheat and it really surprised me how much more alike men and women are than they think. I think #3 really says a lot. In many cases, cheating is due to lack of intimacy, or fear of being hurt. If you never really dig in deep, you won't feel the pain if it goes wrong. This is also the root cause of sex addiction.

wigsf said...

"I constantly hear comments from women about how much of a good guy I am and how they're amazed I haven't found the one yet."

I get that too. I always retort with "Then fucking go out with me or shut the hell up."
They opt for neither and continue talking.

Dumb bitches.

Miss Ash said...

I honestly can't figure out why people do it....I mean how hard is it to call your significant other and say "it's over" and then you're free to do what you want...even if I was in the arms of another I would be like hold on, gotta make a phone call.

Anonymous said...

Great points one and all, but um… if a person loved his/her spouse they wouldn’t allow themselves to morph into Jabba the Hutt. I think the point about if you loved them it wouldn’t matter is uh… crap . It matters. You fall in love with the whole person not just the inside. To a certain extent, if a person changes – physically or otherwise – beyond a reasonable margin then they become someone *other than* the person you fell in love with and/or married. In this instance you have really only two choices:
do nothing or…
do something

I would consider cheating on said morphed individual in the ‘do nothing’ category. I believe getting married is having the balls to say… I love you enough to come clean with you if I ever start to feel otherwise. *That* is love. And when you have *that* kind of love the margin of tolerable change gets wider, more forgiving. The likelihood is better that your changes are more congruent. You grow together – cliché I know.

Ultimately however if any of your list items (no attraction, no excitement, fear, bad sex, ass-hole, misogynist, or revenge) begin to appear, talk about it or end it… cheating is just a symptom of ball-less-ness.

"By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and signing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying--
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying."

Anonymous said...

Thank you for writing this..

Ps, I think number 8 is the reason I was cheated on.. lol