Jan 25, 2007

Please stop reading it.

I normally despise celebrity culture blogs, but I do admit I find some amusing. What Would Tyler Durden Do and The Superficial are a couple that spring to mind that sprinkle their ridiculous gossip with witty writing. Wonkette, which by their own admittance is more about gossip than politics, does take a similar approach; however they do it far better and concentrate about a subject more dear to my heart.

PerezHilton.com is the lowest of the low. I really don't get the rampant success of a man who changed his name in order to sound like the most vacuous celebrity in the history of our democratically selected royalty, but apparently there are many who see things otherwise and continue to make this blog huge.

After reading the first page I'm beside myself at how someone can view it without at least one thought of suicide. Not that I'm a literary genius, but just take this blogpost for example:

"Looking like a Grecian goddess, Jennifer Lopez is all smiles at a listening party for her new Spanish language CD, Como Ama Una Mujer, Tuesday night in Miami.
The Bronx girl will be back in our hometown real soon.
Ocean Drive magazine just announced that Lopez and Marc Anthony will be performing at a special concert on February 3rd, the night before the Super Bowl.
We're soooo there!"

Kind of hurts the head doesn't it?

Accompanying the rest of the equally literate posts are pictures of various celebrities with strange MS Paint style additions which may be graffiti style writings, such as 'fucktard' for a pic of Eddie Murphy, or objects that try to indicate these celebrities are gay or just happen to walk around with semen hanging from their lip.

It doesn't stop there. Apparenlty this Perez fellow really loves celebrities, or at least loves being in pictures with them. He spends quite some time talking about the parties that he has been invited to and in most cases disregarding how relelvant the celebrities he buddies up to are. It's like he used to be a dork in high school, but suddenly got with the 'in' crowd if only because the elite are secretly, or even overtly, mocking his social ambitions. They must find his writing so harmless and fluffy that they'll embrace him for his lack of scathing satire on how superfulous their work and lifestyles really are.

Perez will not let his readers forget that he's on almost every fluff VH1 special, from Which Celebrity has the Greatest Ass to Celebrity Couples and What Went Wrong. No matter how hard he may try to be cool he somehow eludes the status and of course I'm the perfect judge for this kind of thing.

His blog is a sad example of how quality is not required to become a success on the world wide web. If you do read it, please for the love of all that is good and holy in the world stop.

"My position is that if you are a politician or a celebrity, you're making a choice to live your life in the public arena. And when you're a public figure, you need to be prepared for the public's talking about you. … In my own subservient way, whether people agree with me or not, I'm trying to make the world a better place.” - Perez Hilton


Scott said...

I have never been to Perez Hilton's blog and now I have no reason to do so!! Thanks.

Mattbear said...

I have on a few occassions indulged in the guilty pleasure that is "What Would Tyler Durden Do", but other than that I try to avoid all celebrity gossip. Most of the people who write this crap are like leeches.