Sep 13, 2007

Manliness brought to you by Popular Mechanics.

The magazine that brings you news about interesting gadgets that'll a) never be released or b) you'll never be able to afford seems to be frustrated with the younger generation of men who can't seem to change a tire. They've compiled a list of 25 things all men should be able to do, which is listed below with my commentary of course.

1. Patch a radiator hose - Simple enough. Duck tape works well for this.
2. Protect your computer - If it involved fighting off ninjas whose mission it was to steal said computer, then yes this would be manly.
3. Rescue a boater who as capsized - I think this should apply to pulling crash victims from a flaming car as well.
4. Frame a wall - Only done it once so I doubt this counts in my case.
5. Retouch digital photos - Really is it so manly to click a mouse?
6. Back up a trailer - And without causing thousands of dollars in insurance claims.
7. Build a campfire - I've dated a girl who knew how to build a campfire like the best of them. True story.
8. Fix a dead outlet - Without getting third degree electrical burns?
9. Navigate with a map and compass - Every boy scout has done this.
10. Use a torque wrench - Very simple, yet sadly most don't even know what a torque wrench is.
11. Sharpen a knife - Again pretty simple. Now sharpening an axe, well that's just cool.
12. Perform CPR - Thankfully I've never had to test this.
13. Fillet a fish - Can honestly say this is a skill I've never learned.
14. Maneuver a car out of a skid - Done this so many times it's ridiculous. Yes traffic around here is that bad.
15. Get a car unstuck - Yes this is manly, especially when it's a truck. If you could lift the car with your bare hands then you've gone beyond pleasing the masculine gods to becoming one.
16. Back up data - Again I don't get what's so masculine about computers. I mean seriously what guy calls themselves a man when making a living in front of a PC....oh wait...
17. Paint a room - My mother can paint a room better than you. Seriously.
18. Mix concrete - By hand? Yeah that's pretty tough work.
19. Clean a bolt-action rifle - I think I'll lower the standards a bit here, cause I'd be surprised if most guys I know can handle a gun period, much less clean one.
20. Change oil and filter - This is a given. If you can't change your own oil check your balls at the door.
21. Hook up an HDTV - Not entirely difficult, unless the HDTV is heavy.
22. Bleed brakes - I imagine most guys don't even know what this is or why someone would do it.
23. Paddle a canoe - Bonus for going down rapids.
24. Fix a bike flat - Something that can be done by a 12 year old is hardly that cool.
25. Extend your wireless network - Again with the hi-tech nonsense.

Well there you have it. Popular Mechanics has now defined your masculinity. I should make my own list again sometime. How's it feel to be such a nancy boy?

"Tequila. Straight. There's a real polite drink. You keep drinking until you finally take one more and it just won't go down. Then you know you've reached your limit." - Lee Marvin

25 Skills Every Man Should Know: The List, Ready for Your Debate


whatigotsofar said...

Some non-mechanical things all men need to know:
- How to answer "Do I look fat in this?"
- How to answer "Is she prettier than me?"
- How to buy flowers when those two questions are answered incorrectly.

Miss Ash said...

WIGSF hahahaha cute.

I've done 2, 7, 12, 16 and 23

I suck at number 9

I've attempted number 20. Good thing I'm not a man.

TracieLacy said...

I can only do one thing on your list..and that is sharpen a knife. Isn't that pathetic? Dangit, I'm such a pansy!

Anonymous said...

Wow I can do over half of those things... I can feel my testicles sprouting now!