Sep 25, 2007

MSNBC helps you get it on better.

The good folks at MSNBC believes hard hitting journalism equates to telling you the differences between men and womens' view on sex, because you had no idea there was any. Thankfully we have them to rely upon to tell us such things, cause we all know the key to having a better sex life is major news sources. Below are the mind blowing results, with my commentary of course:

1. Women don’t understand why men don’t like to cuddle: This I believe is a myth. I like to cuddle myself, well it depends on who it's with I guess. Usually I have to go somewhere and fart.

2. Women don’t understand the extent to which performance anxieties, self-esteem issues and body-image issues all affect male sex drive: While performance anxiety is an issue for most men, especially low performing men like myself, I think my ego is already at it's highest when a woman simply acts like seeing me naked is a privelege.

3. Women think that men are always ready and willing to have sex any time, any place: You're not a man unless you can get good and ready in the middle of a crowded subway.

4. Women don’t understand how men can differentiate so easily between love and sex: I've said it before and I'll say it again you can have great sex with someone you care nothing about and have terrible sex with someone you love with all your heart. It's that simple ladies.

5. Men assume that women have lower desire than men: Well if women would stop turning me down all the time this wouldn't happen.

6. Men assume that all women want romance, not raunch: This is true and yes us men are morons for thinking this. Women like to have their hair pulled. You don't always have to put 'Chicago' on the stereo and pretend you like it.

7. Men assume that women want guys to look and perform like porn stars: They don't?

8. Men assume that if they’re ready for sex, she’s ready for sex: I've never met a guy who assumed that. Actually we assume they never want to look at a penis, well at least mine.

Well there you have it folks. You can now have better sex thanks to MSNBC.

"The male and female sexual systems are different: men get aroused much quicker; women take time." - Tracey, MSNBC contributor.

3 comments:

Miss Ash said...

Yeah I don't understand #2, just get it up and get on with it already haha,

And I believe #3 is totally true. You're all just a bunch of horndogs...we want romance damn it!!

whatigotsofar said...

You think that somebody thinks Peter Cetera's falsetto is romance??? That's kinda sad.

And Miss Ash, he's some romance for ya. How about some strawberrys dipped in chocolate, a bottle of sparkling white wine and a Groucho Marx mask on my jimmy.

Miss Ash said...

WIGSF....haha that's a start :)