Oct 18, 2011

Wiwille learns about birth

On Saturday the misses and I went to our childbirth class. We were the first ones there and got our choice of sitting on the comfy couch. The instructor greeted us and gave us a stack of reading materials to go over. Other couples filed in, who were further along then we are, and the class began.

The instructor introduced herself and the women in the class did as well. The men were mostly quiet, not knowing what to expect. The instructor was a grandmother who worked as a nurse practitioner for the OBGYN's office and started things off with showing us a video of a live birth.

I did not jump up and scream "OH MY GOD KILL IT WITH FIRE", as I warned the wife I may do, but I held it together. We watched some more videos about breastfeeding and no one laughed like Bevis, but it was interesting none the less.

And let me tell you, there's nothing less sexy than hearing a senior citizen announce they're currently doing Kegel exercises. Nothing.

So we're taking a tour of the maternity ward with the other couples and one of them had hair like Betty Boop and it smelled weird. She was a friendly gal, but her partner said little to nothing. A few questions were asked and I learned a few things, mainly never have any expectations during childbirth as anything can happen. I was daydreaming that my daughter would fly out of the womb and we were in the presence of Supergirl, but I kept that to myself. I don't think I have any Kryptonian blood in my family.
See my generation is the first of men that are expected to go through the entire experience of childbirth, where as our fathers just paced a hole in the floor smoking an entire pack of non-filtered Lucky Strikes. I'm actually glad I'll get to be there for the whole thing.

"On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars." - Bruce Willis

2 comments:

wigsf3 said...

Was recently watching some Bill Cosby standup. He had this routine about his wife giving birth.
"My wife, in the delivery room, decided to tell the doctor and the nurse that my parents were never married."

Harvey1701 said...

Someone's a viewer of Man Men. ;)