Dec 29, 2006

Wiwille's call to arms.

Car decorations, such as bumper stickers, can annoy me to the point where I consider violence justifiable. While we live in a world where original ideas are becoming scarce, some would argue extinct, people scramble for the next big idea for car decor. Lately I have seen one trend that I believe requires open revolt.

That new fad is a fake scrodum hanging from the rear bumpers of trucks. Seriously some jack asses, who happen to drive trucks, think it's very clever or manly to place a nut sack on their trucks for all to see. To all of you who do feel it necessary to display fake testicles on automobiles I have this to say:

You are not cool, tough, or funny. You are simply a dipshit who got beat up a lot in high school and are trying, make that failing, to mask your true sexual identity. Especially you the one I saw on I-5 with testes dangling from the back of a Mazda pickup. Yeah you.

I'm not one to condone vandalism, but I encourage all to carry a hammer in your cars and when you come across one of these displays in your mall parking lot, well smash it into a million pieces. You women out there need to stop sleeping with men who have these on their autos. If you're man shows any desire to place this accessory on their vehicle simply stop getting naked. They'll soon comply. Please, it's for the good of mankind that these be stopped at all costs.

Ahh I feel better now knowing that each and every one of you will fight the good fight against testicle performance art.

"A day of crusin around on your motorcycle is just not complete unless you have a pair of hawg nuts hanging off the back for everyone to see. Nuts on your motorcycle hitch. Chrome Balls. Women love a man with a nice big one pound solid set of nuts slapped on the back of their Harley!" -


Mattbear said...

The missus saw one of these for the first time about a month ago, hanging off a truck in good ol' Duvall. She said it may be the most tacky thing she's ever seen, and I tend to agree. The worst ones are the stretchy ones that bounce up and down as you drive.

rawbean said...

wow I havent seen these yet but GROSS! seriously...who's sleeping with these guys?

Big Ben said...

I saw an old lady with pancake tits hanging from her Lincoln, much more distrurbing.

Scott said...

Wow, that is something. Can't believe that there are people who somehow think that this is a good idea.


Chandra said...

I guess it hasn't become a fad yet in my neck of the woods... thankfully, although somewhat shocking as Alberta is known for it's individuals that own these motor vehicles for the sole purpose to show everyone they've got balls...
Makes you just want to close your eyes while you're driving I imagine.