Nov 12, 2008

For the ladies

I was recently reading an article about what kinds of women to avoid dating. While it was very funny it got me to thinking about how many lists were written for women about what guys not to date. Most of them were composed by females which makes some sense, but since I'm a giver I have a list of types of men all girls should not consider getting involved with. A male's perspective should do wonders.

1. Avoid men who own more shoes than you. I shouldn't have to explain why.
2. Avoid a guy who says he's not ready for a relationship. They're not lying and no you're not going to change their minds. They're guys. They don't change.
3. Avoid a guy who browses Craigslist, Match.com, etc looking for hookups. You'll never be his girlfriend.
4. Avoid men who still talk to their ex on a regular basis. They hate themselves.
5. Take heed against those who don't open doors for you, won't walk street side of the sidewalk, or get upset at you for changing the music on the car stereo. They're pansies.
6. When a man displays a foul temper run like hell.
7. Avoid Wiwille. This goes without saying.
8. Do not date a man who doesn't read. They're dead inside.
9. Check the pics on his cell phone. If something sends a red flag waving then bolt. You know what I'm talking about.
10. Avoid a guy who cups his cell with his hand while sending text messages with you present. You should know what's going on.
11. If any of my friends decide to date a guy who has those fake nuts hanging from his pickup violence will ensue.
12. Steer clear of bloggers who feel self important and write meaningless lists when they could be doing something productive with their lives.
13. Lite beer drinkers should be handled with caution.
14. Men who think Toby Keith is an American hero must be avoided.
15. If a guy sprouts an erection at a viewing of Rocky IV I would suggest not seeing them again.

I think that's enough for now.

"Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion." - Scott Adams

7 comments:

whatigotsofar said...

Dude, carballs are the best!

Mang said...

lmfao i agree 1000% Toby Keith should die, don't forget any guy that repeats " what did i do wrong, are you mad, is everything OK?" obsessively needs a confidence check.

Kelli said...

Thanks for the list ... since I have been thrust back onto the dating scene (and not doing so well, I might add). I'll use this as a reference guide ... minus #7. I think any girl would be lucky to have you.

Pablo G said...

Damage Kontrol ?

Miss Ash said...

Nice pic on the Prince song!!

May I add men that live at home after the age of 30 to the list ;)

JLee said...

Good list. Especially the fake balls thing. ha

Princess Kitten said...

"Steer clear of bloggers who feel self important and write meaningless lists when they could be doing something productive with their lives...." hmmmm