Thursday Music

As a wee lad my sister and I would read the fine literature that was Archie comics. Yes I followed the adventures of the ginger kid and how he maintained dating two girls who were crazy about him. His friend Jughead would eat a lot, but never gain a pound all the while wearing a funky paper crown for whatever reason.

Yes the adventures of teenagers consuming treats at Pop Tate's was high entertainment for my sister and me, but now that I grow older I wonder sometimes what the hell the writers were thinking when they wrote some of this stuff.

It's been long speculated that Archie is gay and his queen is Jughead. Why the redhead wouldn't be into Reggie or Moose may baffle some. I agree with Kevin Smith in that Archie couldn't decide on Betty or Veronica not because of his closet homosexuality, but because he was holding out for a threesome.

Then again I see issues such as the one below and wonder:

In news that is interesting to no one over the age of 9 the writers of Archie comics have decided to have Archie propose marriage to either Betty or Veronica. Everyone may have their opinion on who he should engage in matrimony with, but since my opinion matters more I say he chooses Betty. Sure Veronica is rich and hot (I like brunettes), but she's a bitch and will divorce him in five years. Her daddy will hire all sorts of high powered lawyers to ensure Riverdale's favorite son be stuck working a middle management job at Wal-Mart for eternity. Betty's a sweet gal and can cook. I say personality and culinary skills goes a long way.

Why wasn't he into Sabrina or one of the Pussycats?

Well that was pointless. Anyways here's a song you probably won't enjoy.

"You will see him make the decision." - Archie Comics' editor-in-chief Victor Gorelick