Wiwille wants to be skinny

They say the hardest part about weight loss is keeping it off, and I've become living proof. A few years ago I decided I no longer wanted to weigh 250 lbs, so I dieted and went to the gym almost every day. Well after a while I slacked on the dieting and the exercise, only to end up gaining it all back. Yes I went all Oprah like with the weight fluctuation, and it started to affect my health, physical and mental.

So my wife decided to purchase weight loss shakes and sent me to the grocery store for some healthy food. Many vegetables, fruits, and other foods that are largely considered good for you were purchased, all with various flavorable results. Some taste really good, while others might as well be cardboard. The shake, when added with water, is a foul chalky creation designed to make you poop the size of a small child. I've ate so many tasteless vegetables and low fat cottage cheese that I never really quite feel full, which is the point. I remember the first couple of weeks being the hardest as your stomach adjusts to eating like a bird, and that hasn't changed at all.

Together the wife and I are attempting a healthy lifestyle, and so far it's going good, well except for the fact that I would kill any one of you with my bare hands for a peanut butter burger and a pint of stout. The catch is though, considering I obviously have a metabolism as slow as Rick Santorum's mind I don't think I should resume my normal way of eating after I do reach my goals. I may have to destine myself to eat veggies and stuff forever. I'm not getting any younger and I have a desire to at least play with my grandchildren.

"I'm gaining weight the right way: I'm drinking beer." - Johnny Damon