Monkee boy

When news struck of Davy Jones' passing, I have to admit I didn't feel much at all as I wasn't a fan of the Monkees, never saw their show, nor did I know anything really relevant about them. My first thought was actually, "I wonder how Monkee boy is handling this?"

Years ago I worked in a camera store in Factoria, Washington. On my first day I was cleaning up the photo lab (yeah it was that long ago) and I heard some faint yelling. A co-worker told me to come to the window and check out some guy on the street. The store was located on a hill above the road, and I first feasted eyes upon the man we knew as Monkee boy (pictured, credit to Weird US.com).

Monkee boy was a different sort of man, as he was dancing and yelling while sporting what appeared to be a CD walkman. With wild hair and a huge backpack, the man danced about the street while showing he had a black belt in the ancient art of not giving a shit. I asked my co-worker what the guy's story is, and she said according to legend this man would appear often in the area singing to the Monkees and showing off his moves for no apparent reason.

I admired his energy, as he would do this for hours on end, dancing up and down the street and belting out the lyrics to this silly band. This went on for months, until one fateful day I stepped out of the back room of the store to see him engaged in conversation with a co-worker. My eyes lit up, here I was in the same vicinity with what was known as the village weirdo. He then turned his attention towards me.

Ye gods the dancing maniac was going to engage in conversation with me.

He asked if I knew him. I said I didn't know him personally, but I saw him on a daily basis. He remarked that it was awesome I was aware of his existence. I asked him what he listened to while dancing, and he confirmed it was the Monkees and the Beattles, even going so far as to pull a toy Monkee car from his backpack and displaying it for me.

His name is Kenny and he talked about his search for employment, which wasn't going well. He asked for an application, which I gave him. He started filling it out, but seemed to be struggling as he didn't understand some of the questions. A customer came in and dropped off some film and he turned to her and asked if she knew him. She responded in the positive, which gave him excitment that he was so popular, dubious reasons be damned.

I asked if he was aware what people think of him as he danced about at all hours of the day and night. He said he didn't care, but I didn't buy it. He really loved the attention he was receiving, which struck me as odd. He had to know people thought of him as a freak, but he didn't seem to mind, as long as he stuck in their memory.

Kenny was your anything but average attention whore. While meeting him then, and the frequent visits he made later, solved some of the mysteries surrounding his antics, I still wondered why someone like him would do such a thing. What compells someone to wake up and say, "You know how I want to spend my day? Dancing around in the street to classic boy bands."

As he got more familiar with the staff the conversations got a bit weirder and more perverse as he would talk about things ranging from politics to soliciting the services of Vegas hookers (an activity he engaged in. No I've never done that, nor ever will.) The female staff members were a bit taken aback by him as he seemed to get a bit flirty, so I walked down to the gas station across the street to talk with the employee who I've seen talk to Kenny at great lengths. I asked the obvious questions, if he was harmless or not, to which the guy, in a thick Indian accent, told me Kenny was a very nice person, just had a really rough childhood and this is his vice to escape his homelife.

I pitied Kenny from then on. He was a sad character who just wanted to be loved and paid attention to, but in all my conversations with him, he seemed so happy in what he was doing, and he did it with energy few even have. I envied him in a way, as at the time I wished there was something I could get that excited about, even if it was silly music.

I left the job after about a year and saw Kenny from time to time. Last I saw him he had gainful employment holding signs for Dominoes Pizza and the like, dancing on the sidewalk and promoting their food. He finally landed something that fits his marketable skills, and I smiled a bit, thinking good ole Monkee boy has found his calling. Godspeed Kenny, godspeed.

"So in short: he’s got the look, the moves, the recognition and steady work doing what he loves best. By any standard, he’s good to go! Rock on, Kenny!" - Weird Washington

Wiwille's movie reviews part 88

There used to be a time when someone would email me stating how they recently came across a great film and would like my take on it. Usually I would end up loving it and in some cases adding it to my collection. Gone are those days as now it seems readers seem to enjoy sending me crap films to watch, who I imagine were wringing their hands and belting out an evil cackle as they made their submission.

I'm a sucker for sports films, whether they be criminally underrated (Cinderella Man, Friday Night Lights), or crowd pleasing, if not saccahrine, romps (Miracle, Rocky, Victory, The Karate Kid). Even at their worst, sports films can be enjoyable as they highlight how dedication to a game can bring out the best in us. To see someone over come obstacles is always a good way to sell tickets, and the formula has worked for so many years the genre won't seem to die soon.

Enter "Shaolin Soccer" which takes an interesting twist on the genre. Set in some city in China, "Shaolin Soccer" tells the story of a disgraced former soccer player who meets a Kung Fu expert and is impressed with how can kick objects that destroy anything in it's path. Inspired by this, he decides to create his own soccer team to compete against his rival, a cigar chomping rich guy who soley exists to do evil to all.

High flying stunts ensue, CGI is implemented, and mildly amusing antics on and off the field are plentiful. The ragged looking team, who seem to have a talent for the martial arts, defy all odds as they work their way through the tournament and become crowd pleasers.

There's really no plot to this film, and it may be the richer for it. A stronger, less ridiculous story in this may have been distracting to the visual treat this film delivers. All of the characters are pretty one dimensional, especially the villian, and I'm hard pressed to recall the name of any of them. There's a few martial arts film references in here, most notably Bruce Lee's "Game of Death", or whichever one it was. I'm sure there giving praise to a lot of other films that I have no idea even exist, so that didn't help my enjoyment of the film. There's a love interest that adds very little, if anything.

"Shaolin Soccer" does have its moments; however few they may be. The Kung Fu soccer is impressive looking and you'll like the matches, if only for about ten minutes. Soccer fans, and martial arts fans alike, may enjoy this, but to anyone else I can't reccomend this.

Thanks to Karin for submitting this. Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see it soon on One Bad Apple. Rules are posted here.

"Not the classic it claims to be" - Joe Utichi

The Party

A friend of mine asked me why I thought Rick Santorum is a possible front runner in the GOP race for the nomination. He doesn't seem like a viable candidate, he opined, as Santorum is a big government conservative, says a bunch of crazy things, and is comfortable with lying about facts. The question gave me some pause, but I truly think while all he said about Santorum was true, he's an accurate reflection of the Republican base sadly.

Now that's a sweeping generalization I know, but take a look at the Tea Party movement, one that has vilified the current President as a Kenyan socialist Muslim who wants to put granny in front of a death panel while he steals your money and gives it to crack addicted minority mothers. Sure they say at their core they only want limited government and less taxes, but that's laughably false. Take a look at the stupid, grammatically deficient signs they carry at their rallies comparing Obama to Hitler and other assorted nonsense. They only see the President as the moral equivalent of Pol-Pot, and they'll smudge any facts to make you believe as they do. They're like the Alex Jones of politics.

This brings me back to Santorum, who backed all of Bush's radical spending, thinks of himself as a Churchill fighting the Third Reich, distorts all kinds of facts when it comes to social issues, and since unemployment is down and the market is up, can only talk about issues such as abortion, gay marriage, and many other issues the majority of Americans disagree with him on.

Whether he believes in such silly things such as Satan taking over American politics remains to be seen, but I truly think Santorum knows what he's doing in this primary. He's gathering a base who thinks of themselves as the oppressed masses, who should go to Liberia and really experience true oppression, and this might win him the nomination. It won't, thankfully, win him the Presidency.

I would gladly wave the flag of the GOP if they took similar politics to that of Teddy Roosevelt, but now, they're modeling themselves after a version of Reagan that never existed. So anyone, like myself, who's disappointed in the Obama administration has nowhere to go. Thank you, you bunch of Larry the Cable Guy loving fucktards.

"Ronald Reagan did that. He called the Soviet Union an evil empire and the media went wild. How dare you describe terms like good and evil to regimes? Because Ronald Reagan told the truth, he didn’t sugarcoat it,” - Rick Santorum

Outrage

ESPN, the leader in broadcast sports news, loves a good controversy. In their NFL page, they constantly write an article daily about the overrated Tim Tebow. Whether he's preaching the word of the Lord, or buying a ham sandwich, Tebow gets tons of press, and their comment section shows the fans can't get enough. Since Tebow is the moral equivalent of Billy Graham, the Evangelical community loves to white knight him. If you say Tebow isn't a good quarterback (he's not)m you're suddenly vilified as a hater of the mother of Jesus and want to see Christians thrown to the lions. If you say he's a good quarterback (he's not), you're called a dumbass who knows nothing about the sport, which may be accurate.

Now the NBA has their own divisive figure in the form of Jeremy Lin; mediocre basketball player, Asian-American, and Evangelical Christian. He really does nothing special on the court, yet everyone talks about him as if he was the second coming of Jordan. Fans with a religious bent so badly want him to be like Kobe, and others are just annoyed someone so average is getting such attention.

Then ESPN came up with a headline about Jeremy's play with the words "chink in the armor", a phrase used for years in sports reporting and numerous other ways, and in this case, Lin's terrible playing. Of course, ESPN freaked out when they realized that their readers, who they think would suddenly spasm at seeing it, fired the headline writer and suspended the broadcaster who repeated the phrase. No one gave two shits about it, not even Lin himself, who doesn't believe it was intentional.

Now yes, the word "chink" can be used as a racist slur, but this headline was not doing that, and everyone knows it. So a guy got fired for doing his job, a good one at that, all because ESPN, the same organization that thought it would be a great idea to hire Rush Limbaugh, has assumed it's readers aren't smart enough to decipher what is racist or not.

"Have to learn to forgive, and I don't even think that was intentional. Or hopefully not.” - Jeremy Lin

Tip one back this hallowed day

Most of our holidays involve heavy drinking for adults. Holidays such as Halloween, St Patrick's Day, and New Year's Eve usually involve copious amounts of alcohol for many, which your author may or may not have partaken in. Even holidays we know nothing about seem to be designed for a triple digit bar tab, such as Cinco De Mayo.

I move that President's Day be the same. No one gives any amount of honor to the nation's highest office, other than maybe watching a PBS or History Channel special, so why not do what our former President's would do, drink.

I learned today that three of our Presidents love the greatness that is whiskey. Yes they partook in the bourboness goodness, and so shall we all. If the leaders of the free world do it, so shall we. Then again I don't condone snorting coke and drunk driving, so maybe we shouldn't emulate all of our Presidents' behaviors.

I want a drink...

"At 140 proof, it’s a ridiculously powerful sipper that absolutely requires water to tame the fires." - Richard Goldsmith

Wiwille's movie reviews part 87

There are many forms of entertainment that are best left in your past, never to be seen or heard from again. I once had fond memories of watching the television sci-fi show "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century", and would swear it's one of the best programs in its genre. Upon watching that abortion of a show years later I came upon the realization that our aesthetic sensibilities do actually mature, while the rest of my psyche may not.

Hudson Hawk never really got better or worse with age. I saw it in the theatre many years ago with my then girlfriend. We both didn't care for it, but almost twenty years later I thought I may not have given it a chance, or perhaps I didn't appreciate it for whatever reason. I was wrong, so very wrong.

The movie starts Bruce Willis, who plays a cat burglar, conveniently named Hudson Hawk, who was recently released from prison. He gets blackmailed into stealing a statue made by Leonardo DaVinci, but what the incompetent crime bosses, let by none other than Frank Stallone, has on him makes really no sense, but that's ok. The idea is to get a few crystal looking items to fuel a lead-to-gold machine designed by no other than Leonardo himself. We are also introduced to Hawk's partner in crime, Danny Aiello, who sings and dances along with Bruce as do what they do.

Andie McDowell plays a Vatican agent who wants to keep the secret of Leonardo's gold machine out of the hands of corrupt humans, and has the acting chops of all the films you've seen her in before. Oh and Sandra Bernhard and some guy (I lost all interest in knowing his name) conspire to get the machine and the crystal looking things, flood the market with gold, crash worldwide exchanges, and have the world will then bow to them and their vast resources. Oh and to help them get these crystals, they hire a bunch of ex-CIA agents with candy bars as code names, let by none other than James Coburn.

This plot makes no sense, but tries to have a sense of humor about itself, while only telling one mildly funny joke. The rest of their attempts at comedy falls horribly flat, and are just as dull and incompetent as the rest of the script. The plot transitions are as equally confusing, are supposed to be amusing, but will leave on scratching their head.

If they made this funny they would've had a great parody on their hands, but sadly none of this works. It's just lazy, stupid, and has little redeeming value. Hudson Hawk didn't age well in all these years, actually it didn't age at all. It's still as horrifyingly bad as the last time I saw it, so many years ago. At least it's consistent in it's awfulness.

Thanks to Shaun for submitting this. Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see it soon on One Bad Apple. Rules are posted here.

"To say this megamillion Bruce Willis vehicle doesn't fly is understatement in the extreme." - Joe Brown

The vote for themselves

Award shows are quite possibly the most useless hours of television all year. To see celebrities voting for themselves in a vanity project is annoying at best. Still sometimes they can be amusing, the rare times I've seen them.

My wife was watching the opening of the Grammy's last night, and I watched with her. Here are some of my thoughts on the few minutes we viewed:

• Why is the entertainment industry so forgiving of Chris Brown? The lesson here is you beat your girlfriend into the hospital and you're rewarded with a Grammy for your mildly talented songs. Good to see the industry is churning out great role models. I guess we can look forward to a song and dance routine from Mel Gibson at the Oscars.
• I wonder if Adele will be one of those artists who does really well at one Grammy event, only to never be heard from again.
• I have no idea who most of these people are, and kept having to ask my wife what their signifigance is.
• Bruce Springsteen does not have a good voice. Sure he can write a catchy song at times, but the song they opened with was grating.
• There is no reason for someone to dress in a robe that would cover a Toyota at any time.
• I kind of wanted to see Kanye West rush the stage, only to be punched in the face by LL Cool J.
• While I can understand her fans being upset by her demise at such an early age, I wonder when was the last time any of them purchased a Whitney Houston album, or actually gave her much of a thought in the 21st century.
• "Take me down just like a domino" makes no sense what so ever. You don't actually take a domino down, unless there are people who like to tackle them.
• When a microphone malfunctions, the director decides to make the screw up seem worse by not cutting away from the singer attempting to fix the problem. I'm in the wrong business. Seriously, they couldn't say "Camera 2?"

The wife decided to get some sleep, and I watched the season premier of The Walking Dead. I love music, but I feel so disconnected with modern songs it's ridiculous.

"The interviews have been a little tough due to the fact that we're interviewing dogs. We see a lot of contestants licking themselves, but we're used to that from covering the Grammys." - Melissa Rivers

Through the looking glass

I've posted about Bill O'Reilly numerous times, but got bored with it as the stories were getting redundant. O'Reilly says something ridiculous that deserves ridicule, wash, rinse, repeat. I just stopped as there was little more to say about the intellectual midget posing as a conservative hero.

Today though I stumbled across something I found surprising. In recent news, JC Penny hired Ellen DeGeneres to hock their goods and unsurprisingly some are taking issue with it. A conservative group called Million Moms are asking JC Penny to fire the talk show host, because she doesn't seek pleasure from hairy men.

Bill actually took issue with this, which shocked the living hell out of me. This from a man who's called for numerous boycotts for companies that hire celebrities he deems to not have the strong moral fiber of his Irish-Catholic background, or share his love for falafel. Still he stood up for JC Penny and called out the Million Moms for being wrong for wanting someone fired for their sexuality, even going so far as calling them un-American.

So this is the guy who once openly stated he hates the idea of gays having any public displays of affection, and now is calling out the Million Moms for being scared their children will catch a case of the homos because of an ad. Has he really changed his stance on homosexuality? Maybe, but I think he originally gave two shits about gay causes, and just changes his views based on polls, which show Americans, left and right, are growing tired of seeing people oppressed based on their sexuality. He needs ratings after all.

"That's my advice to all homosexuals, whether they're in the Boy Scouts, or in the Army or in high school: Shut up, don't tell anybody what you do, your life will be a lot easier." - Bill O'Reilly

Thoughts on the Super Bowl

As most people, I sat and watched the Super Bowl this Sunday. Here are a few thoughts about the most watched television event of the year:

- Why does the NFL think their fans really care about Kelly Clarkson and Madonna? I know they're trying to broaden appeal, but how many football fans do you know who are just delighted to see these two perform?

- I couldn't muster up any excitement to see either team win. I didn't want Eli to have more rings than Peyton, and I'm opposed to seeing Belichick win any game, much less the biggest game of the year.

- The game would've been exciting if I hadn't already seen it before.

- The Patriots receivers catch like they're playing for the Seahawks.

- Madonna still can't sing, but I was impressed by the show. She's not known for having talent, other than her ability to manipulate the media to bow to her will, but she did well for her age. Still after watching last year's train wreck of a halftime show Mel Gibson could've grabbed an accordian and played Hitler's favorite polkas and we'd all thought it would've been an improvement.

- Here are the typical FB posts you'll see after any super bowl:

• The halftime show sucked! They should never be allowed to sing in public again!
• The halftime show ruled! OMG so amazing I cried!
• They flubbed the words to the National Anthem! Moron!
• They did such an amazing job at singing the National Anthem! OMG so amazing I cried!
• My team won!
• My team lost!
• I won money!
• I had to run naked through uptown!
• I said at the beginning of the year that this team would win!
• (Comments on previous) 1. You say that every year Nostradamus! 2. Liar! 3. You still suck!
• (_____) sucks!
• (_____) rules!
• Sarcastic post about not caring about the Super Bowl, while they took the time to acknowledge it exists.
• Post stating how they're going to watch anything but the Super Bowl, because everyone gave a shit.
• Obligatory post from person who knows little about football questioning a referee's call, the ability of any particular player, or the wisdom behind a coaches play calling.
• Soccer fan stating the only sport that should be known as football is soccer, while forgetting what the 'S' in MLS stands for.
• Sarcastic post claiming they didn't know the Super Bowl was on, when they fully well knew when it would air.
• OMG the Super Bowl commercials are funny!
• OMG the Super Bowl commercials are lame!
• I can't believe that happened! I'm shocked!
• I know it would happen all along, because while I can't tell you what a 4-3 defense is, I can see the outcome of a play before it happens.

"I have always said that I want to finish my career with the Dolphins and this put me closer to that goal. I have been fortunate to break many personal records, but my overiding goal is to win a Super Bowl here in Miami." - Dan Marino

Pink outrage

People piss me off, because they suck. I don't like things that suck.

All over Twitter and Facebook, we've been bombarded with news about the Susan G Komen foundation to rid the world of breast cancer, and how many are upset with it that it temporarily pulled it's financial support to Planned Parenthood. Of course many people are trying to seem edgy by showing their vocal (read useless) support for PP above SGK. So why are you supposed to hate SGK now, when you should've all along?

Well I haven't been a fan of the Susan G Komen charity for a while. Any charity that sues other philanthropic organizations for vague trademarks such as "for the cure" can kiss my country ass. Plus, it's been no secret that the founder of SGK has been a major contributor to the GOP, which should come as a surprise to no one in light of recent events.

So why has the Susan G Komen organization pulled their support for Planned Parenthood? Are they inherintly evil wenches who Well apparently they have a policy they any money they donate to a medical provider must only be used for breast cancer screenings and the like. If any accusation of donated funds are being appropriated to other procedures, such as in this case abortions, come to light, they pull funding until an investigation is complete. Also they pull all funding for organizations that are under federal investigation until the investigation is complete, and act accordingly on the results.

And guess what, I don't care. If SGK wants to enact a policy to ensure the money they donate to medical providers only go to certain procedures, well that's their right. Actually, I would probably do the same if I ran a charity. I would only want the hard earned cash donated by the public go to a cause that I advertise, and I would have to put precautions to ensure that happens. And if for some reason that organization came under federal investigation, I'd pull my support until the investigation is complete. Is it fair? Maybe not, but I wouldn't want to risk giving money to organizations that may misuse it. Sure what the Susan G Komen organization seems at the surface extreme if only you read the headlines, but if they were caught giving money to fund controversial procedures that in no way fit with their mission statement, they would lose a lot of support, or be accused of fraud.

However in this case, the public is freaking out that SGK is pulling temporary support for Planned Parenthood, because they like littering their friends' Facebook wall. If you believe in a conspiracy that this was all politically motivated, well godspeed. There are many reasons to not support the Susan G Komen foundation, such as a) they sue other charities, b) the founder loves giving money to the GOP, and c) there are deadlier cancers out there that also deserve our attention. To make this your point of outrage seems a bit silly in spite of the history of this charity.

"We regret that these new policies have impacted some longstanding grantees, such as Planned Parenthood, but want to be absolutely clear that our grant-making decisions are not about politics," - Susan G. Komen Foundation

Slowly we progress

I was traveling to work the other day, fighting gridlock as I normally do, and it occurred to me that this is the same thing my parents did as well as theirs. For three generations we've traveled the same way, gas guzzling cars, loud planes, annoying bicycles, and inefficient trains. In all our technological advancements, we haven't made travel more efficient.

We've progressed in many ways, but all technology has given us in the past 40 years has mostly been to spread celebrity gossip and distribute inexpensive porn. Where's my Jetsons car? I want a people mover, or to beam myself, or any object, to anywhere I choose within seconds. I want all citizens to walk on the moon and wars to be fought with lightsabers.

But no, we're so focused on dumb communication devices and ways to stream entertainment that we can't be bothered to make our commutes any easier. Thanks tech industry. You're quite on the leading edge of helping people get free time wasters.

On another note, doing an image search of the Jetsons brings up some fucked up, horrifying pictures. You've been warned.

"Beyond highways and roads, we need more money for mass transit, intercity passenger rail and freight rail. We have a long way to go to bridge the funding gaps." - Bill Lipinski

Meme tagged

I was meme tagged by Clair, author of The Country Mouse Tales. I haven't done one of these in a long time, it kind of makes me want to do the interview thing again.

1. Which is your favourite holiday or celebration? St Patrick's Day was my favorite for a long time, mostly because of the heavy drinking and silly music. Even as a child I liked it as it was just plain silly.

2. What's your favourite song to rock out at a karaoke party? Or, if you're not a karaoke person, what's your favourite song to sing in the shower? Well my favorite karaoke song was The Ballad of Chasey Lane, which I may or may not have sang in inappropriate situations.

3. Do you wear pyjamas? If so, do you have a favourite pair? No.

4. Which of the cities you have visited is your favourite? Rome.

5. What do you think of the Kardashians? I try not to. I think Daniel Craig's thoughts on them sum it up nicely.

6. Do you have any tattoos? No.

7. Who was your favourite teacher? Jim LeMonds, my old Shakespeare teacher and now author. Not only was he a great teacher, but he's one of the most genuine people I've ever met.

8. How much sleep do you need each night? Do you sleep well? I'm lucky to get six hours, and no I don't sleep well.

9. If you were a Star Wars character, which one would you be? A few friends and I were sitting around a table talking about what Star Wars character we would all be. It was unanimous that I would be Han Solo. It was one of my proudest moments. The guy who got stuck with C3PO was none too happy.

10. What is your favourite kind of candy? Reese's Pieces, hell anything made by Reese's.

11. The Simpsons was recently voted the greatest TV show of all time - what's your take on this? I'm OK with it. I like the Simpsons, but wouldn't say it's my favorite show of all time. It's influence can't be denied, so I'll accept it. There have been better shows produced, such as M*A*S*H, The Shield, and Mr Belvedere.

"You see that and you think 'what, you mean all I have to do is behave like a f------ idiot on television and then you'll pay me millions?" - Daniel Craig

It's important for the economy.

Since the Tea Party entered the scene we haven't seen such jackassery in our national politics than since the Dixiecrat nonsense. Every two weeks or so a new story comes out about a Tea Party member being all Tea Partiery and one is left to scratch their head thinking why anyone gives them any attention, support, or credit for being a functional literate citizen.

 Tea Parties the country over have made a concerted effort to try and change the history books to make our nation's forefathers and Confederate traitors look like the moral equivalent of Pa Ingalls. Today a mental midget from the Tennessee Tea Party explained why they are promoting revisionist history in favor of glamorizing long dead people. Here is a direct quote from Tea Party activist Brian Rieck: "Slavery is of course portrayed in the textbooks nowadays I'm sure as a totally negative thing. Had there not been slavery in the south, the economy would've fallen."

This happened. This is how the Tea Party thinks. And for those who say Mr Rieck doesn't speak for the entire Tea Party, well that may be true, but I'll be damn to think this quote isn't shared by the majority of people who took to activism the minute Obama was elected in an effort to "take their country back." It's funny how so many Tea Parties keep saying they're only about smaller government and less taxes, yet they're trying to use government entities to fictionalize textbooks. The Tea Party care nothing for smaller government, hell they would welcome a dictator if that person promised to rule by the laws of Deuteronomy.

Yeah, so fuck the Tea Party. Seriously, anyone who thinks that slavery shouldn't be portrayed in a negative light can go to hell, or Yakima, WA.

"Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ; Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart; With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men: Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free. And, ye masters, do the same things unto them, forbearing threatening: knowing that your Master also is in heaven; neither is there respect of persons with him." - Ephesians 6:5-9

Wiwille's movie reviews part 86

I have little recollection of the original The Blob. I know I've seen it, and Steve McQueen was in it, and he ran from a theatre which I can only assume contained the mysterious antagonist, but that's about it. When I was asked to review the remake I was thinking about revisiting the original first, but decided against it and let this film speak for itself.

The Blog is hardly original, which being a remake is no shock at all, but it's a safe formula. A small town gets exposed to a threat of fantastic origins and it's up to teenagers to save the day. In this film, the teenagers are a young Kevin Dillon and no one else you've heard of. They fit every cliche, Dillon plays the misunderstood loner who has a the look of someone you want to punch in the face for reasons you can't understand. There's a mildly attractive cheerleader, and jocks with questionable motives. Also present are evil scientists who are in the pocket of the military industrial complex. Combine this with a script that even borrows a line from Star Wars: A New Hope and you have a sci-fi horror film that serviceable.

What makes the film stand out above others is that even though the blob concept seems ridiculous, it actually has suspense. You don't see the creature have any emotion, but you can tell it's cunning. The special effects are really well done in a pre-CGI world, and actually look real instead of the cartoonish images you see today. It did what a sci-fi horror should do, keep you a bit on the edge of your seat.

As a remake I imagine it's no worse than the original, but I'm hard pressed to recommend it. Even though it was far better than I expected, I doubt many would enjoy it above superior sci-fi horror remakes of the time, such as The Thing.

Thanks to Tad for submitting this. Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see it soon on One Bad Apple. Rules are posted here.

"Surprisingly worthy remake." - Widgett Walls

It's only a game.

Kyle Williams seemed to have a great season. He was playing for a playoff team, in one of the biggest games of his career. All was going well for the 49ers last Sunday, until the Giants punted to him. He set back to received the punt, grabbed it, and ran as punt returners are want to do. Sadly, he was tackled, but before he was brought down, he fumbled the ball, ensuring a Giants victory.

This wasn't the only fowl up he committed that day, but it may be the one he's remembered for, forever. And now San Fransisco fans aren't letting him forget it, by sending him death threats.

I find the whole thing sad. Sure I'm a fan of the 49ers, but never will I wish harm on someone who doesn't play well. Football is a team sport, and one play does not make or break a victory. Had the team played better, forced a turnover as they did so many times before, converted on third downs, and held the Giants from making a field goal, the bay area team may have been headed to Indianapolis. Sadly one man is shouldering the blame for a poor performance, and he may be rested in the hallowed halls of major sports blunders with the likes of Trey Junkin.

To all that wish Williams harm I have this to say, if there's anyone that knows anything about ball handling, it's San Fransisco fans.

"Cause there's only one reason for doing anything that you set out to do. if you don't want to be the best, then there's no reason going out and trying to accomplish anything." - Joe Montana

Open letter to no one listening.

Dear Republicans,

At the start of the election season, which keeps getting earlier every four years for whatever reason, I had reason to believe you may have had a fighting chance to contend with the incumbent. Obama, even with all his victories, was seemingly unpopular even with his own base. People were tired of the slow growth of the economy, and even more tired of a President they saw as gaining minor bills passed through Congress, instead of enacting real change in the way we do business.

Then you sprung up a list of candidates that proved to have some merit, but now that's all gone. Sure you've gotten rid of some of your crazies (Bachmann) and some of your grossly incompetent (Perry), but what's left is a terrible choice for voters.

Let's look at Gingrich, a serial adulterer and someone who resigned from Congress in disgrace. Now for the former I normally wouldn't care as I expect ambitious, powerful men to act as such, but for someone like him who keeps making the claim that they want legislation to protect the sanctity of marriage aught not tell the people how to live and love.

As for the latter, how can a voter trust Gingrich to accomplish his job when he can't even hold onto a Speaker position? His resume doesn't speak highly of his accomplishments, other than the Contract with America, which should've been titled "don't let Clinton pass anything" bill. We all know how terrible and useless it was, and was hardly the work of a uniter that we expect from a leader.

Now we have Romney, who seems like John Kerry circa 2004. An uninteresting, candidate that you might just settle for. You seem sort of like the unattractive middle age woman looking for a man to finally have children with. Why you think a man who's so out of touch with the common clay can somehow rally the base to your cause is anyone's guess.

Paul and Santorum are just laughable. Now I know a lot of well meaning Paul supporters, but they don't seem to understand what all he stands for, or refuse to learn anything about him. Santorum hasn't a prayer, even though that seems to be his only strategy at this point.

So you've basically given another four years for Obama, and I'm hoping when he takes the podium on election night he'll thank you for your gross incompetence.

Yours,
Wiwille

"I'm not a natural leader. I'm too intellectual; I'm too abstract; I think too much." - Newt Gingrich

Tales of parenting.

When people told me I would experience sleep deprivation after Kenadie was born, I never really comprehended how hard it would be. I don't think anything prepares soon to be parents how little rest they would get, unless they previously served in combat. Now some without kids may think it's no big deal, just drink your coffee and man up, but really lack of REM sleep makes you do some really incredibly dumb things. Let's take a couple of examples.

1: The other day Kenadie decided sleep wasn't for her, and the next day I went into work feeling like I boxed 24 rounds. I had to use the restroom, so I entered the bathroom as one is want to do. I was face to face with a lady who had a look on her face that was half confused and half frightened. I apologized for my mistake and walked out.

2: Today I sat at my cube and attempted to unlock my laptop. I pressed the buttons on the external keyboard, but nothing was happening. Nothing. After a few minutes of pressing more buttons in vain I realized I hadn't put my laptop in it's docking station.

3: When my wife wakes me to get something in the middle of the night, I go into the kitchen and immediately forget what it was she wanted. Sometimes I try to make it look like I knew what I was doing, but will come back with something completely unrelated to what she had asked for, to her great frustration. A friend of mine was sent into his infant's room to pick up a diaper, only to come back with a pillowcase. He's not sure why either.

Sometimes I miss the energy I had when I was 22.

"Babies control and bring up their families as much as they are controlled by them; in fact the family brings up baby by being brought up by him." - Erik H. Erikson

Help stop SOPA.

Well the internet has unleashed the dogs out on SOPA, because it has nothing better to do than protect the world's favorite time waster. Still SOPA is a piece of crap bill that does little, but to harm free speech and unecissarily put businesses and writers at risk for simply linking to a site that may have copyrighted content. I agree that copyright enforcement is paramount to promoting creativity, but this bill reaches beyond that and would punish the people it claims to protect. I urge you all to sign every petition you see today and write your congressman urging them to vote against this.

And to those webmasters who are going black to protest this, well enjoy your day off!

We actively support it.

Today we celebrate the life and accomplishments of Dr Martin Luther King. We do this as we wear clothes made by child slaves, use machines that destroy the environment, and consume services and products delivered by the oppressed world wide. I'm sure he'd be proud.

While there are many good lessons to be learned by King's work, we often fail to remember them. During the later years of his activism, King spoke about how we'll never gain true racial equality until we strive for economic equality, something we'll never do, nor even want it seems.

Slavery still exists here in the US. We see underground brothels here in the US where women are forced to give sexual favors for those who can't seem to want to get some action through legitimate means. Children are traded amongst those who have no right to breath oxygen, and yet we have no leader attempting to change these horrible practices.

If Martin Luther King Jr taught us anything, is that people are empowered to change our political and moral landscape. Anyone can be a leader to help stop the things that plague us, but yet none of us attempt do so. I'm afraid the dream may have died with him, sadly.

Still, we should never forget what one man can do to make the world a better place, and that's why today I give thanks for the man who's shown so many how righteous actions can provide a better landscape for many.

"A man who won't die for something is not fit to live." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Overrated films part 31

As anyone who's traveled outside of Mississippi knows, racism is everywhere. Yes, America has made great progress in race relations, but if you only watch Hollywood crafted media, one may assume it only existed in the deep south, pre-1974.

The Help attempts to chronicle the blatant prejudice that many black people endured during the civil rights movement, and does it adequately, but fails in many respects. It's the story of a local reporter, who decides to tell the story of African-American maids who are treated as second class citizens in their work and personal life, but the only difference between their careers and the ones of slaves is that their paid a barely livable wage.

In an attempt to finally break free of the bondage of Jim Crow and those who adhere to it's philosophy, the maids bravely tell their sad tales of having to use separate bathrooms at their employers, endure cold and often juvenile taunts, and being mistreated in every way imaginable. It's an inspiring story of the power of the pen and it's ability to change our perceptions.

As moving as the story should be, the film is bogged down with so many faults it's almost difficult to list them all. The real drag are the subplots, which are at best unnecessary, and at worst distracting. A forced romantic subplot tells us nothing about any of the characters and a heartfelt, but anti-climatic tale of a maid who stole a ring to pay for her son's education took me out of the film.

The real issue I had was not the Hallmark-ish speeches delivered every five minutes, but the antagonists, which can make or break a film. In The Help, the racist maid employers are so one dimensional that one can only imagine early 60s housewives as having no other emotion or life goal than to oppress black people. They were just evil for the sake of it, and had absolutely no depth. It's as if they were perpetuating stereotypes while at the same time crushing others.

The film does have it's merits, like most overrated films. The acting by the leads is at times remarkable, and for that I would recommend it alone, and the cinematography makes the city of Jackson as picturesque as a Thomas Kincaid painting. And really, that's the target audience of this film, people who enjoy their message films to be sanitary and unchallenged, and in that it succeeds in spades. Perhaps it is a good idea to see such content, if only to remind us that we sometimes need to see issues in such black and white contrast in order to understand the grey.

"As in many reductive period pieces, there are no real characters here, just archetypes, namely reactionary cretins and sensitive souls who anticipate modern attitudes." - Ben Sachs

The history of personhood.

There's been a lot of discussion regarding the idea that corporations should be considered people in the eyes of the state. What's funny about this is that most media sources cite the fairly recent Citizens United as setting the precedence for companies having the same rights as an individual. Oddly enough that was not where this idea started, nor ended obviously. It goes back as far as the early days of the Republic, but Citizens United was the first case of this issue that the Supreme Court specifically cited First Amendment protection, at least that I'm aware of.

Now it's popular to think of corporations as run by people who bathe in the blood of Japanese virgins, but the question remains, should we abolish person hood protections for them? Should the government be able to search and seize their property without a warrant? Should the government be able to regulate their business structure, including prices for good and services? Should they not be able to endorse a candidate they want elected, just because they're wealthy?

Let's just say corporations no longer have the right to endorse a candidate, couldn't a shareholder, or a group of them, do so on their own accord? I know that sounds fatalist, but if powerful people want a candidate elected, they can just simply write the checks from their own bank account and not from the assets of the company they partially own. What will really change if the Supreme Court changes their mind? If you're a shareholder should you be barred from giving to a campaign individually?

There aren't any easy answers to this complicated issue, and since it's in the court's hands there won't be any compromise, unless the public demands a new amendment that outlines clearly how a corporation should be viewed by the Federal Government, but this will never happen, because we're lazy and love the luxuries big business gives us, damage to the Republic's soul be damned.

"One of the fundamental necessities in a representative government such as ours is to make certain that the men to whom the people delegate their power shall serve the people by whom they are elected, and not the special interests. I believe that every national officer, elected or appointed, should be forbidden to perform any service or receive any compensation, directly or indirectly, from interstate corporations; and a similar provision could not fail to be useful
within the States." – Theodore Roosevelt

Debating homeopathy

I have friends who'll swear by homeopathy, something which I don't understand, but I tend to not care. If they want to abuse their health with nonsense, then it's their business. What bothers me is their promotion of the quackery to others, swearing unproven methods works for peoples' health, which can be risky at best, negligent at worst.

You may ask why I care about even that. It's a valid question. My father has high blood pressure and was recommended, by a doctor no less, to take a cheap alternative, a homeopathic remedy (name eludes me). He abandoned his then current prescriptions to try the sugar pill, with almost fatal results. This is the dangers of magical thinking behind seriously diluted "medicine". Thankfully my father is OK and his blood pressure is under control when he went back to taking proven medicine and kept up his diet and exercise.

A friend posted on Facebook a homeopathic remedy she recommends as a sleep aid and something to combat anxiety. The product is Calms Forte, a homeopathic substance designed to help those who suffer from sleep deprivation. Her friends asked questions about the substance and she claimed it worked swimmingly for her.

Against my better judgment I posted a video (below) of a girl demonstrating how Calms Forte has no active ingredient by downing the entire bottle of the substance. I commented that I can't speak for it's efficiency, but it is safe.



My friend was not pleased that I posted this video and stated the girl is "full of crap" and "wasn't intelligent about homeopathy". I took the bait and asked exactly how she got it wrong, as the girl's description seems to fit with Hamenann's law of similars and dilution preparation. This sparked an anecdotal testimony to how other homeopathic remedies helped her kids cure coughs and the like, but as expected never once addressing the lack of data proving the treatment.

Her tone seemed defensive and even a bit offended, so I politely apologized for any offense I may have caused, which I didn't mean to. I didn't expect to change her mind, but I believed that her friends should hear the other side of any argument before they put their health at possible risk. Perhaps I should've let it go.

My friend is a good person with a kind heart and I believe she genuinely believes in this stuff. She was simply attempting to help people with their ailments, something I normally applaud, but such misguidance can be dangerous.

In the end I feel I accomplished nothing, because man hears what they want to hear, and I probably came off as arrogant for daring to challenge homeopathy, which in my experience, is promoted by the extremely thin skinned.

Below is a video made by James Randi, who was challenged by the maker of Calms Forte to try the "overdose", but since relented.



"I do not expect that homeopathy will ever be established as a legitimate form of treatment, but I do expect that it will continue to be popular." - James Randi

Conspircay theorists, this is your champion.

There was a brief time I liked Jesse Ventura. He seemed like a rare straight shooter in politics, even if he was a bit incompetent. After he left the governor's office of Minnesota he decided to jump the crazy train and entertain viewers and spread fear with all sorts of nutty conspiracy theories that make about as much sense as why I like to read Hawthorne naked in a on the hood of my car...uhh...

Anyways Jesse Ventura would have you believe that if you don't think the government orchestrated 9/11 that you'll let "the man" implant listening devices in your reproductive organs and you'll become an informant for the police of those who are unpatriotic. It's horse shit, but there's a market for it and he's exploited people's fears all the way to the bank.

Lately a Marine sniper, who reportedly has the most confirmed sniper kills in US history, got into a spat with the former pro-wrestler. According to the sniper, Jesse showed up at a wake for a fellow Seal and started bad mouthing the war, which was highly inappropriate, especially considering he was so upset at the memorial service turned political rally in Minnesota a few years back.

According to the sniper's account, Jesse took things a bit further and said some of the seals deserve to be lost and were murders of innocents. Chris Kyle, the sniper, punched him in the face.

Did it actually happen? Who knows. I don't normally condone violence, but in this case Jesse got what was coming to him. To bring your politics to a wake is unforgivable and you deserve getting your saggy geriatric ass handed to you.

"I speak my mind. If it offends some people, well, there's not much I can do about that. But I'm going to be honest. I'm going to continue to speak my mind, and that's who I am." - Jesse Ventura

Pat knows it all.

A majority of Evangelicals have never read the Bible, which is strange to me, but that's for another post. They like to rely on their religious leaders to guide them on the morality of being a Christian and on the character of God. Enter Pat Robertson to guide the flock about the Testaments.

Recently he had a conversation with God, a act that if I claimed the I took part in my wife would have me committed. God did speak to Robertson and told him some interesting things. One, he said he was now aware who will win the Presidential election this year, and that America will be divided and mass chaos will ensue, because God believes Obama is out of touch with the majority of Americans, never mind that the majority once elected him, unlike his predecessor.

Why God told him to tell everyone what he knows, but fails to let him go into details is anyone's guess. It's obvious that he's deluded, or worse, lying, but the sad part is is that many will believe this nonsense. I wonder if Pat will make any bets....

"This is a spiritual battle which can only be won by overwhelming prayer. The future of the world is at stake because if America falls, there’s no longer a strong champion of freedom and a champion of the oppressed of the world. There must be an urgent call to prayer." - Pat Robertson

Traveling to North Korea.

As I've written about before, I'm largely ignorant of North Korea. Granted this is largely due to the fact that they're isolationists of the highest order and rarely is western media allowed into the country, but still outside of the revolution and the Korean War (Police Action) I have a hard time even remembering the name for the country's founder. Most communist revolutionaries come to mind rather quickly (Pol-Pot, Castro, Lenin, and Mao), but the glorious founder of North (Best) Korea is largely absent from the Western collective concious.

Now that Kim Jon Il's is dead, and most of the world is happy to be rid of him, nations are anxious to see how their foreign policy will change, if any. After watching the below documentary, I have my doubts that the country is even interested in becoming a better neighbor in the world community, much less South Korea. I highly recommend viewing it:







"All of North Korea is a jail." - Kim Y. Sam

Wiwille's best and worst films of 2011

Now that I'm married and have a kid I rarely go to the cinema, which is a shame. I love films (you knew that), but I wait until they come to a format I can watch at my leisure. Still it's time for my annual best and worst list of the films I made time to sit through.

1. X-Men: First Class: After watching the abomination that was X-Men Orgins: Wolverine I was less than estatic about this, but I was pleasantly surprised with the story and the above average acting from most of the cast. I think the writers made a good choice in it's historical setting, and really brought a sense of wonder back to superhero films.

2. The Tree of Life: Another film I was expecting to not like, but enjoyed immensely. Some may call it pretentious Malik being all pretenciousy, but I found it to be a beautifuly shot film about the nature of life. It worked for me, which is surprising since I'm not one to worship at the feet of all thinks Malik.

3. Thor: Another film I expected to hate, but again it struck me how much attention to detail the filmmakers gave it. With a script littered with Shakesperean themes and a great performance by Anthony Hopkins I found this to be a refreshing change from comic book films that have little if nothing to say (I'm looking at you Iron Man).

4. Bridesmaids: Unlike the often compared to film that is The Hangover, this has an actual story and characters you can either relate to or actually know in real life. Plus it's amusing and the script let's the talent of the actors really shine. I haven't laughed harder with a film this year.

5. Captain America: The First Avenger: I know you're probably thinking enough with superhero movies, but this has to be included for the atmosphere alone. Not exactly a gripping story, but a decent orgin story was created for this iconic superhero that is just plain fun.

6. Limitless: Not exactly high-brow cinema, but it has style and an intriguing enough plot that kept me hooked.

Ok so the list is less than arty, but I haven't had time to see things I really wanted yet.

And now for the worst:

1. Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon: Big, loud, stupid. The plot is so silly even twelve year olds would have to roll their eyes at it, plus there's not a single moment in the film where you're asked to connect with any character what so ever.

2. The Hangover Part II: Same as the first with a different setting, except it wasn't funny at all. It was like hearing the same joke over and over again.

3. Green Lantern: Even the worst comic book films often times give you a sense of wonder at the majesty of a hero's power (Superman Returns), but this had nothing. The main character was horribly uninteresting as well the ridiculous and confusing plot was just draining. It possibly could've worked if it had a sense of humor about itself, which the screenwriters tried to go for, and failed.

"We all love a good creation myth. That's partly why X-Men: First Class is such fanboy fun." - Rick Groen

A day in the life of Wiwille

As you probably gathered, my life has changed completely since the baby arrived. Longtime readers will remember the days where I woke up, worked, came home, drank more than was safe or reasonable, involved myself in drama I never wanted nor needed, and repeated the process over and over again. Now I'll give you a tasted of what's it's like to be Wiwille today:

6:30am: Wife wakes me up and announces the baby is up. Groggily go into the kitchen, make a bottle, and get other items ready for the wife to do her motherly duties. Go back to sleep. Wake up again fifteen minutes later to let the dogs out.

7am: Wash used bottle. Get up and get ready for the gym. Go to gym and workout while watching bad morning news shows.

7:45am: Go home and shower.

8:30am: Sit down and log into work. Let the dogs out. Make breakfast and coffee.

9:30am: Wife announces baby needs attending to. Make bottle and gather items for the wife to do her motherly duties. Feed and change baby if wife needs a break.

10am: Wash used bottle. Log back into work. Attend a meeting and pray the baby will sleep through it.

10:30am: Let the dogs out.

11:45am: Log back into work. Try to complete a task.

12pm: Go grab lunch for you and the wife.

12:15pm: Start to eat lunch, but baby needs another bottle. Make bottle and gather items for the wife to do her motherly duties. Feed and change baby if wife needs a break. Spend the rest of the hour with baby, because it's kind of awesome to do so.

1pm: Wash used bottle. Log back into work. Try to complete a task. Have television playing in the background.

2p: Make snack. Let dogs out. Throw in a load of laundry.

2:15p: Log back into work. Try to complete a task.

3p: Wife announces baby needs to eat. Make bottle and gather items for the wife to do her motherly duties. Feed and change baby if wife needs a break.

3:30p: Wash used bottle. Log back into work. Try to complete a task.

4p: Blog. Fold laundry.

4:30p: Ask wife about dinner. Cook or go out and get said dinner.

5p: Sit down to eat said dinner. Wife announces baby needs to eat. Make bottle and gather items for the wife to do her motherly duties. Feed and change baby if wife needs a break. Watch dinner get cold.

5:30p Eat remaining dinner. Log back into work to see if any last minute items need attending to. Watch television with the wife.

7:p: Let dogs out.

7:30p: Wife announces baby needs to eat. Make bottle and gather items for the wife to do her motherly duties. Feed and change baby if wife needs a break.

8p: Wash used bottle. Do dishes. Go back to watching television with wife.

9:30p: Wife and baby go to sleep. Go play video games.

10p: Let the dogs out.

10:15p: Go back to playing video games.

10:30p: Wife announces baby needs to eat. Make bottle and gather items for the wife to do her motherly duties. Feed and change baby if wife needs a break.

11p: Wash used bottle. Turn off Xbox. Go to sleep.

1a: Wife announces baby needs to eat. Make bottle and gather items for the wife to do her motherly duties. Thankfully the wife lets you go back to sleep while doing said motherly duties.

3:30a: Wife announces baby needs to eat. Make bottle and gather items for the wife to do her motherly duties. Thankfully the wife lets you go back to sleep while doing said motherly duties.

6:30a: Wife announces...you get the idea.

I wouldn't change my new found life for anything.

"Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other." - Edgar Watson Howe

Wiwille's movie reviews part 85

You young readers may not be aware of the 80s, but to those growing up in it recall it mostly consisted of fear of everything. Parents in the 80s were glued to talk shows and the like, trying to learn about the latest trend that would turn their precious little snowflake into a coke snorting, satan worshipping, goat rapist.

The satanic panic is one I remember with not so fond memories. Thanks to the journalists with a less than stellar moral code and the neurosis of many, those with children were frightened of harmless things such as heavy metal music and role playing games, one of which was the popular Dungeons and Dragons.

I only played Dungeons and Dragons once, but I ended up getting in a fist fight with the game master and that ended my role playing career. I did enjoy the game, but even as a kid I lost interest quick realizing how much of a money pit it was, and how I couldn't afford it as there was no way my folks would ever buy that stuff for me. They were told by their church and friends that D&D would lead to things such as pagan worship and suicide, and of course believed all of it, because Satan was lurking at every corner after their children.

A cautionary tale was made to warn parents of the dangers of role playing games in the format of a made for TV movie called "Mazes and Monsters." Starring a young Tom Hanks as Robbie, the film starts with three college students convincing Robbie to play a role playing game. Robbie at first relents as he just promised his folks he wouldn't, but of course there's an attractive woman in the group so he has to go.

Robbie then becomes obsessed with the game and his character. He abandons his love life and cares less about his studies. He starts dreaming of the game and a mysterious man who tells him how to live. Why this happens is anyone's guess, but it's assumed he's mentally ill. He leaves school and becomes a missing person as he wanders around New York looking for the "Great Hall" he's been dreaming about, and ends up stabbing a thug in the process. A man hunt ensues for Robbie by his three friends who are certain he may hurt himself as he can't distinguish reality from the game.

My god this movie is horrible. Not only is it satanic panic propaganda, but it's so horribly dated and incompetent that instead of warning viewers of the so called dangers of role playing it ended up being a laughable piece of work. Propaganda should be anything but dull, and this is a great cure for insomnia.

I've had this sitting in my queue for almost a year as WIGSF requested it a long time ago. Why it's even out on DVD is a mystery as there's no reason to watch this outside of a morbid curiosity. Put any interest aside as it sucks. I should add a rule that anyone who submits films this bad will be kicked in the crotch repeatedly.

Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see
it soon on One Bad Apple. Rules are posted here.

"Although intended as a cautionary tale, it's far more likely to inspire snickers than shudders." - James Sanford

Empathy

Now that I'm a parent, sleep is something that is foreign to me. It's not that bad really as I got enough practice at giving up slumber when the wife was pregnant. Still sleep is something I kind of miss, as I get very little.

Whenever I express my newborn duties, the childless of my friends express their sympathy; however those with children seem to laugh at my exhaustion. It's sort of like how people watch a guy get kicked in the nuts, and laughter ensues. Pain is comedy for most, for whatever reason.

My parents, naturally, seem to enjoy the misery that is my lack of REM sleep. I guess becoming a parent means you have to take pleasure in the pain of others.

It's all worth it though.

"Babies control and bring up their families as much as they are controlled by them; in fact the family brings up baby by being brought up by him." - Erik H. Erikson

Homefront may not be just a video game...

Kim Jong Il (not pictured here) is no longer ronery. Ok that was a cheap joke, but I'm kind of surprised about the mix feelings from the world community about his passing. China still considers the barbaric country a close friend, which I guess shouldn't be shocking. Russia seems to want to stay friendly with the regime that doesn't seem to mind seeing it's citizens starve or have basic human rights.

The west is less than kind to North Korea, or Kim Jong's memory. I'm kind of indifferent to his death. Sure he was a horrible leader and a terrible human being, but he was just incompetent enough to not be a threat to anyone, but his own countrymen. Now that he's gone, little will change probably. If I had any hope that North Korea could progress into a country seriously interested in peace for the region, then I might care, but there is none. The North Korean people seem to be under massive discipline and even through the oppression the government is their savior.

My friend Tad, aka Kim Yoon Sup, pictured above, should take his rightful place amongst his people.

"Overall relations between the North and the South have developed in favor of national reconciliation, unity and reunification." - Kim Jong Il

Nigeria sucks.

I spoke with my parents the other day when mom informed me she had an "evil" phone call the other night. An office from the Department of Homeland Security phone them and informed my mother she had won a Reader's Digest sweepstakes totalling $490,000. All she had to do was send the Department of Homeland Security $2,000 to claim her prize.

Thankfully she didn't fall for the scam and informed the FBI. The office she dealt with looked up the number that appeared on the called ID originated from somewhere outside the US, and as such there was nothing they could do.

So the pig fucking scammer not only called my folks, which boils my blood, but is so stupid as to identify himself from the Department of Homeland Security. Why they didn't say they were from Reader's Digest is anyone's guess, but since these people have as much talent at scamming as a Colt's receiver does at catching footballs I wouldn't expect sound judgement from them.

The Nigerian scam has been with us for many years, well before the internet, but it's growing with frequency as people, few as they may be, are still falling for it.

"I don't think I'll ever escape the fact that I don't belong anywhere in particular. I've often dreamed about going back to Nigeria, but that's a very romantic notion. It's a hideous country to go to in reality." - Hugo Weaving

Trust him, he's a "doctor"

My wife hasn't been feeling well since labor. Due to a painful experience of the anesthesiologist taking up to an hour to apply the epidural, and sitting in a hunched over position while waiting for it, she started having back spasms and the like. Headaches have ensued while she's also suffered various aches in her neck and back.

Frustrated that time hasn't alleviated her symptoms, we got desperate and made an appointment for a chiropractor. Now I'm no fan of the practice. I understand some people swear by it; however my experience with them have been less than positive. Granted the adjustments feel good, but I found that I could just replicate the results by constantly stretching and exercising.

We went largely to see if we could rule out the possibility of the epidural causing the pain or if it was the result of her back being in a largely unnatural state for a prolonged period. I was skeptical if chiropractic care was the answer, but was again a bit desperate to learn more about my wife's illness.

We go into the clinic and instantly there was a red flag. I saw a brochure about a weight loss program the Dr endorses, and in huge letters it talks about the homeopathic weight loss medication called HCG, which has just been ordered under a massive recall by the FDA for...wait for it...having no proven effectiveness. Plus it's homeopathy, which is bullshit of the highest order, but I kept my mouth shut hoping that we would learn something.

The doctor introduced himself and the wife explained her symptoms. The doctor then went on a rant about epidurals and how women should just be taught to 'tough it out'. I wanted to punch the fucktard in the fact, not only for being a hawker of snake oil, but for being an insensitive prick. Luckily he caught himself by telling the wife he wasn't suggesting she wasn't tough, but that it is his opinion that women should do things natural, and that's why his last two children were all home birthed. I didn't feel like debating the fact that most of nature would like to kill you, as there's no changing the mind of a respected physician, but it crossed my mind.

Anyways he gave the wife an adjustment, which didn't help at all, and asked her to follow up with him later, which we'll never do. Hiring a witch doctor would've had the same effectiveness, and would've at least been entertaining.