Apr 7, 2006

Put it on paper.

Yesterday I walked to the post office to find a rather large woman with the fashion sense of a Motley Crue groupie. Dressed in tight jeans, jean jacket, and a low cut Poison shirt, this woman had a sense of madness in her eyes. She had the look of a deranged Hamas soldier and this lady had a mission. She walked, or actually waddled, up to me with a presence that made me knew she was hell bent on getting her way.

"Put it on paper," she yelled to me as I kept walking. "Put it on paper. Put it on paper."

I had no earthly idea what this woman was talking about, but I decided not to ask. Crazy people are sometimes best ignored, especially if you get the sense that they may be armed with bowie knife. Prozac and cutlery do not mix well and if acknowledged the results can turn ugly.

"Put it on paper," the woman kept yelling as I sped up my pace. She seemed to not care that I wasn't paying attention to her.

"I want your name, business card, and laptop," she suddenly chimed. I was taken aback by her change in demands. I had no business cards or laptop on me. She stated this a few times. Finally I snapped.

"What the hell do you want lady?" I asked the woman. She paused and gave me a look that showed half insanity and half stupidity. She wasn't sure how to respond at first, but as most people who are talked into a corner she soon found a retort.

"I want your name, business card, and laptop," she repeated.

"I'm not giving you my name," I said. "Nor do I have a business card and do you see a friggin laptop on me?"

"I want your name..." She was getting insistent.

"...No. Why the hell do you want those?"

Her look changed from rabid to confused.

"Put it on paper," she replied.

"No. Go home and take your meds and leave me the fuck alone," I yelled. I started walking towards the post office and found her strolling behind begging me to place something on paper. As I approached the doors a postal employee came out and yelled at her to get off the post office grounds or he would call the cops. It was amazing how quickly she bolted out of there.

The employee's actions led me to assume she's been there before, at least that day demanding people put something on paper. I'm kind of curious as to what the paper was or what exactly she wanted down on it. Maybe it's best I be ignorant.

"The edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over." - Hunter S. Thompson

1 comment:

jinsane said...

This is one of those episodes where I would go mad trying to figure out what she wanted. There's no telling.

I'm just glad you made it out of there alive! LOL