Aug 23, 2007

Ask Wiwille: The last day.

Miss Ash, author of Something's Gotta Give, posed an interesting question to me that I've been pondering. After my review of The 25th Hour she asked me if I were being sent to prison what I would do on my last day of freedom. A good question indeed, one I've never had to ask myself thank god. While I've had my brushes with the law I've never spent any real time in a penitentiary.

Now loyal readers would assume my last day would be spent by blowing my 401k at a strip club and that's not a bad call. In reality I would most likely spend the day consuming beer with friends and family, maybe taking a break and do some MMA training to help me in my quest to fend off dry anal rape. I might do some activities I won't enjoy in prison such as watching the sunset, eating Wheat Thins with smoked salmon cream cheese, enjoying a hike, etc. It's a lot to do in one day, but I would try to fit in as much as I could.

Of course at some point in the day I'd like to see boobies.

"I won't talk about what it was like in prison, except to say I'm glad I'm out and that I plan never to go back and to pay my taxes every day." - Richard Pryor


whatigotsofar said...

I would have figured you'd cross the border into Canada to avoid jail all together.
I understand you live in Washington. Although I've never been there, on a map it looks like less than a day's drive to the Canadian border. Crossing into Canada is pretty easy and once here, scream some crap like "Bush is a dickhead" and chances are, you'll be given government funded housing for long enough until you get yourself a job. If the States try to extradite you, some Canadian ultra-liberal advocacy group will back your cause to stay here and you'll live the rest of your life in our little socialist dystopia.

Miss Ash said...

I've been to jail....but for work and it's not so nice in there. Good choices on the sunset and beer.

Mattbear said...

WIGSF - If all it takes to get residence in Canada is loudly disparaging our idiot-in-chief, the next time I'm up there and have a drink or too I'll probably wind up with Canadian citizenship accidentally.

The closest I've been to incarceration was working in the county jail for my college internship. And that's as close as I want to get. If I was sentenced to any lengthy stretch, my life might end before they could get me locked up. But I'm a fatalist anyway.