Last night was a harrowing experience involving driving. Yes the simple task of operating a vehicle was daunting as well as embarrassing.
I'm getting ahead of myself.
After working 8 hours on Friday, then having a nice dinner, some sleep, then six more hours from midnight to 6a I went home and went to sleep. The alarm woke me from my slumber at 10a and I got ready for the trip down to Longview. It takes about 2+ hours to make the journey, but I promised I'd be there for a belated Thanksgiving meal.
After a scrumptious meal I hung out for a couple of hours and the lack of sleep really started to catch up with me. I made my leave and started the trip north back to Seattle mindful of my self induced sleep deprivation. I pull over at a rest area and get some bad coffee from the Masonic volunteers, but it wasn't enough.
After driving for about an hour I started to make a concerted effort to never hit the lane dividers again. I decided to call some people to get some company, however no one picked up. It was Saturday night after all, or everyone has decided that they hate me. Either option is reasonable.
I put Ministry's Greatest Fits into the stereo and started blaring the screamings of Al. Thinking loud industrial music may be the ticket I rolled down the windows and started singing along.
It wasn't enough.
I roll down the windows and open the sunroof all the while screaming out the lyrics of Stigmata. Still wasn't working. I need to get colder. Must stay concious. Sleep is for the weak and I for one am a tough guy. Yeah I can do this. I can get to Seattle in one piece, but something needs to be done.
So with a mind racing on little sleep I did what any rational human being would do. I took off my shirt. So here I am driving down the I-5 shirtless, windows rolled down, and blaring Ministry while singing aloud. I must've been a sight.
Not just a few moments later I found out how ridiculous I looked. I turned my head and saw the people occupying the car next to me pointing and laughing. I quickly pulled off the freeway, slipped back on my t-shirt, and got more coffee.
Thankfully I made it home safe.
"Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank." - Alphonse Allais