Dec 7, 2008

I knew better...

I usually don't get too personal on this blog normally because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Still this will be one of the rare times I actually write about something involving emotions, feelings, and all that sappy stuff. So sit back with me and take a journey through dating-land with Wiwille. Popcorn is optional.

She opened the door and gave me a bright smile. Without a pause she threw out her arms and gave me a huge hug. I reached in my back pocket and pull out a king sized Butterfinger bar and handed it to her. She was a little stunned, but thankful as I remembered that was her favorite candy bar of all time. She invited me in for a brief tour of her condo and then we made our way to dinner.

For purposes of anonymity we'll call her Sarah, but then again I know she doesn't read this blog. Still just in case I'll keep her identity a secret from those who aren't familiar with the situation already.

We went to Casa Que Pasa as she's never been there before and has yet to try the infamous potato burrito. Sarah's a big fan of tequila, so I knew she would enjoy a few drinks as they specialize in fine liquors from south of the border. We had great conversation with never any uncomfortable silences. We laughed a lot and so far the date was going really well.

She wanted to do something else so I suggested we take a walk around downtown and play 'questions'. Sarah agreed and we just took a stroll asking each other all sorts of things from what's our favorite film to personal stuff. We laughed through out the night as it was a warm evening and she was a very interesting girl as well as entertaining.

We stopped by another bar and she suggested we should order our favorite drinks for each other. I was handed a Blue Moon with a dash of orange juice and a wedge of the same fruit. I order her a Guinness, which she found disgusting. As I handed the bartender the cash Sarah looked at me with a nervous smile.

"You've paid for everything so far," she said a little sheepishly.

"Oh yeah," I said. "Well if you're more comfortable going dutch that's cool. You can get the next round."

"No you don't understand," she said. "I usually pay for everything."

"Everything?" I asked a little confused.

"Yes," she said. "Usually the guys I date don't have any money."

I was taken aback by this. Here before me was this girl who was extremely personable and way out of my league hot telling me she dates guys who don't have much of an income. I took it as a red flag, but decided to let it go and see how the rest of the date went.

We played some pool, continued playing 'questions', and met up with some of her friends. I later took her home and she invited me in. She gave me a big another hug and said she had a great time. I asked if I could see her again and she agreed. Sarah then paused and looked at me.

"Can I have a kiss?" she asked.

"If you're luck...." I didn't even get the last syllable out before she gave me one. The date was a success.

I called her the next day and thanked her for hanging out. She was amazed that I did as she relayed that no one ever did that. Sarah then admitted that she told her mom about me that morning.

Now I was surprised. After asking her why she said she had never dated anyone who drove, opened doors for her, walked street side of the sidewalk, or voluntarily pay for the outing. When Sarah told this to her mother I guess the woman was very happy her daughter was being treated to a good night out.

We saw each other a couple more times that weekend. All very casual dates involving ice cream, walks in the park, and hanging out at various watering holes, but very fun as we got to know each other.

Even though Sarah and I lived over two hours away we made every attempt to make it work. Some involved some sacrifice and it was hard being spontaneous.

Sarah's birthday rolled around and it was on a Wednesday. We spent the weekend together and I took her out for a birthday dinner just her and I and we had a great time. I was bummed I couldn't make it to her birthday dinner with her friends as it would be a four hour round trip car ride and I had to work at the crack of dawn the next day.

That Wednesday rolls around. I walk out of the office and think about her. I get into my car, drive to get her a present, and make my way up north. Thankfully traffic was good and I made it to the restaurant on time.

My arrival was not well received at first. Sarah was shocked I showed up and didn't know what to say. It was so bad I asked her if I shouldn't have come, but she said she was happy I was there even if she didn't look it. After a few minutes though she warmed up to me and was genuinely excited I was there. I liked her friends and they seemed to like me. Everyone there had a great time.

After dinner we sat in my car and I gave her my present. I asked her why she seemed so put off at first. She said that she never had anyone do anything nice like that for the sake of just making her happy. Sarah said she was nervous that I was going to break some bad news, like if I slept with someone or stole money. I told her that everything I do is simply because I want to make her happy. She said that would take some getting used to.

Seeing a trend here?

I told her I understood she's used to dating a string of bad boys and that if that's what she's looking for from me that I will bore her. I made it clear I don't cheat, have a job, don't go to jail, etc. She said she was indeed looking for a nice guy and was happy we found each other.

We continued seeing each other and things were going well. She wanted me to meet her folks and was excited that I was referred to by her long time friends as the 'favorite'. My parents were curious about who I was spending all my time with so I gave it some thought. We'd only been dating a couple months, but I was open to the idea.

Then one night I called her and never got a call back, which was rare. I texted her goodnight, her preferred method of communication, and again didn't hear from her. This went on for about a week. Every attempt I made at communicating with her went south. Besides the occasional text and short IM conversation I didn't hear a thing from her.

Another week goes by and I had enough. I text her telling me I just want to know what she's feeling before I start falling for her. All I wanted was to know if she wanted to see me anymore. She texts me back saying that we need talk and that it wasn't a good time. She then said she'd call me. I told her I'd be at a wedding later and we should talk the next day.

Cue the Andrea and Justin's wedding that evening. I'm sitting at a table waiting for the ceremony to begin when I get a text from Sarah asking if I wanted to talk to her. I replied saying I did, but reminded her that I was at a wedding. She texted me back saying she no longer feels for me anymore.

Unbelievable. I'm being dumped via text messaging while I'm at a wedding no less. Needless to say I got really drunk that night.

That Monday she IM's me asking if we're even friends anymore. I tell her that we can be, but I would need some time. She admits that she was crying and told me she was sorry numerous times. I tell her not to be as I will look back at the short time we had together fondly. She tells me to stop being nice to her as if she wanted me to hate her. I told Sarah just to let it go and stop being upset and that I will not harbor any hard feelings. She claimed she never hurt anyone before and that she felt terrible, but I tried to assure her that she had no reason to feel bad.

A couple weeks go by and I'm being inundated with Facebook and Myspace notifications of her posting attention whoring photos for which numerous guys constantly comment on. Sarah loved the online attention and knew exactly how to garner it. Being pretty with big boobs sure did help. I felt like a total schmuck and just decided the best thing to do was just delete her. Immature sure, but I got sick of not wanting to log into the applications.

She figured it out and told me she was unhappy with that, via text of course. I called her to explain, but she sent me to voice mail. She immediately sent me a text saying she was watching a movie and couldn't talk right then. Confused was I, but I figured she'd call me back.

That's asking too much I guess. I never heard from her and just assumed I wouldn't be in contact with her again.

Fast forward a couple months to Thanksgiving. I'm sitting at my parents' home after dinner when a certain ringtone comes through my phone. I look at my cell in bewilderment as I never thought I'd hear that song come playing on it again. After wondering why it was I never deleted her from my address book I flip it open and see a text from Sarah wishing me a happy Thanksgiving.

I was a little surprised, but I replied politely and wished her a good holiday as well. I assumed she probably sent that message to everyone in her address book and I just happened to be on it. She never texted back so I just figured that was it.

That Sunday I get home and log into my email after being without internet for a few days. She sent me a message saying she still had some movies of mine and would like to send them to me. I found this weird cause I told her she could keep them as she really enjoyed them. Sarah ended the message saying she didn't want me to hate her more than I already did.

I told her I didn't hate her ever and I was sorry she thought that. I gave her my address and thanked her for sending them back. She kept the thread going though talking about the films. I kept my responses brief. She then apologized again for everything and said she hoped I had a good Thanksgiving. I told her not to be sorry and reminded her that I had no hard feelings and said I hoped her and her family had a good holiday. She thanked me and that was the end of it.

I have yet to receive the DVDs and I don't care if I do or not honestly, but I'm baffled by the whole thing. Sarah never did say why she didn't want to see me anymore and at this point it doesn't matter. I knew from the beginning that this probably wouldn't work as we had little in common and I definitely wasn't her type, but I felt compelled to try. Maybe I was so attracted to her cause she was everything my previous girlfriend was not. Not that Sarah was better or worse than her, just different.

I should have went with my gut and just not bothered with a second date as I knew better. Whenever a girl has told me they're now looking for a nice guy it always ends up with the same result. They get bored as the addiction to drama is just too strong. They make excuses and find stuff to pick apart. A lot of them just don't feel they deserve someone good and will sabotage anything that may make them happy. I don't know why that is, but I'll never understand women really and that's why I still sleep cold and alone.

I hate to make Sarah sound like a crazy woman. We had a good time dating and I'll cherish those memories regardless of how it ended. I'm not bitter at all. If anything I'm mad at myself for believing that this time would be different. Sometimes I'm not cynical enough.

"That was the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me. Thank you." - Sarah


Anonymous said...

That one call/message from an ex, always confusing, always more proof that women are nothing but crazy.

JLee said...

Be thankful it went no further because this girl has serious self esteem issues that would have been much worse had you gotten more serious. She has this desire for you to want/like her, even though she doesn't want to date you. I would be polite, but try to cut contact with her (which it seems like you're doing)

Anonymous said...

Honey, you don't have to worry about making her sound crazy- she did that herself. You deserve better anyway, my friend.

Anonymous said...


Miss A said...

This post put a lump in my were very sweet to her and the moments you shared together made for such lovely memories, you will always have those and so will she. Crazy is never a good thing, but it sounds like to me she just another person, male or female, who freaks out when it all seems too easy, too natural, and too happy. Drama is an addiction for some and if it isn't being fed by someone else then they will self-create it. You were sweet, thoughtful, kind, and romantic with "Sarah"...her loss...the next woman is going to hit the Wiwille jackpot!

Scott said...

So so strange eh?? Damn women haha

Pablo G said...

You my friend are out of the league of any woman who settles for guys who can't keep a job, don't know how to treat a lady, have probably never picked up a book and much less a tab, traveled overseas or understand how a woman is loved for her intelect and her passions as much as her charms and her beauty. All they see is boobs and go no further than those outer layers.
Never give them all the love and never give them all the money.

You deserve better.

Kelli said...

Wow. I don't think "crazy" is an appropriate word for her. She is confused about how she is supposed to be treated as a woman. It could also be a ploy she uses to get men to do 'extra nice' things for her. I've known woman who play the sympathy card ... it usually gets them anything they want.

Wiwille ... you too have a self esteem issue. There is no person who is out of your league unless you allow yourself to be placed out there.

Anonymous said...

Dating is sorta like pissing on a forest fire. It is slow, dangerous work but at its core serves the purpose of extinguishing flame and… the more you drink the more effective the process ;0)

Genie said...

Always trust your instincts my friend, especially when they are telling you something is wrong.
As for her not being in your are right because you deserve so much better than her. You are a great guy that deserves a great girl.. and you WILL find her just be patient.

Mattbear said...

That calling/e-mailing/all that other nonsense after she's dumped you? That's manipulation, a way for her to fuck with your head and make you feel something - no matter how messed up - even after she's already relinquished control or influence.

I've seen it many, many times with friends' girlfriends. It is a bad, bad sign; a bright neon sign saying, "Be glad you dodged that bullet cause it was a big one".

Mizzle said...

I have gotten dumped via the text message before its lame. There are some girls out there that kind stand the nice guy. I guess they like the punishment...

j.sizzle said...

Being dumped via text message is unbelievable. I've definitely been there though.

At least you didn't get ignored totally. I think that's the worst type of breakup, where they just stop responding to me completely. It seems to happen a lot... maybe I'm not easy to confront. ;)