Thursday Music

Even though I work closely with Indians (dot kind, not the small pox blankets kind) on a daily basis and live amongst many in my neighborhood I'm sadly largely illiterate when it comes to their culture. Most of my exposure to Indian life as a young lad came through Kipling books and watching the film Gandhi multiple times with my father.

The more I learn though, the more I'm fascinated with how Indians celebrate their heritage as well as their ordinary customs. One such holiday that always intrigued me was Holi, a spring religious festival where folks throw colored chalk and water at each other for reasons I'm still unclear about.

Unbeknownst to me America has the largest Holi celebration in the Western Hemisphere in none other than Salt Lake City, Utah. Yes you read that correctly. My friend Leif posted this video on Facebook, and while the festivities look all kinds of awesome I was equally entranced by the music. Film snobs may appreciate the masterful camera work, but I was enthralled by the editing as well. So today I bring you an Eastern celebration that doesn't seem to be bastardized by Western sensibilities, which is refreshing:

"I am always fascinated by India." - Gary Ackerman

History

As I made my morning commute I listened to the news and was kind of surprised that not once was Iraq mentioned. I guess I shouldn't have been that surprised as the war, or whatever one may call it, is old news. No one wants to hear about an old conflict that has little seeming effect on their dwindling savings accounts.

I started to ponder how history will remember the fall of the Ba'ath party, or if it will at all. Even successful wars, for lack of a better term, have a way of nary a mention in mass media. Even conflicts as recent as Korea and Panama have a way of escaping the collective conscious for reasons that may be obvious, but Iraq is of a different sort.

No military engagement since Vietnam was as polarizing as the Bush administration's decision to invade Iraq. This was largely a fault of our incompetent President as it was obvious then as it is now that they lied about evidence of weapons of mass destruction. Our national values were compromised through torture and humiliation of POWs, our intelligence department and it's key players were dragged through the mud, and our key informants found themselves exposed to the forces we were fighting. It was a large mess, but supporters and non were passionate about defending their stance.

Now that things have seemed to calm down in Iraq and the country's parliament is keeping control of the region as best they can no one seems to pay story any mind. Just a few years ago everyone had a strong opinion about Iraq, but now it's of little consequence. Given all this, will history prove Christopher Hitchens correct? Will Bush not be remembered for running one of the most incompetent administrations in recent memory?

We are doomed to repeat this...

"I can't tell you if the use of force in Iraq today will last five days, five weeks or five months, but it won't last any longer than that." - Donald Rumsfeld

Meltdown

I would like to teach anyone new to the internet a vital lesson, content is forever. As someone who posts their thoughts a lot on the world wide web I've been taught this valuable rule early on in my blogging career and have always been mindful of that. There are sometimes when I don't really care who reads my mildly literate rants that may or may not offend anyone in particular, but I don't make it a habit to try and poke at readers, few that I may have.

Some who publish their work do take criticisms to heart, which is not surprising, but even those who hate my work and make the world known about that fact do often have views that can be considered constructive. I don't really mind if they like it or not when it comes to this blog as it's really more written for me than anyone else.

Still my constitution is more hardened than others. Take Jacqueline Howett for example. She's an "indie" writer who suddenly found herself infamous for reasons other than her published prose. A blogger by the screen name of Big Al, who seems to review books as a hobby, gave a somewhat positive review of Howett's book, "The Greek Seaman". (Yes I giggle immaturely at that title.) His only critique really was her grammatical skills, which seemed poor at best. Jacqueline did not take kindly to the review given by Big Al and commented on his post. Let's read a few gems from this author who has an online meltdown:

You obviously didn't read the second clean copy I requested you download that was also reformatted, so this is a very unfair review. My Amazon readers/reviewers give it 5 stars and 4 stars and they say they really enjoyed The Greek Seaman and thought it was well written. Maybe its just my style and being English is what you don't get. Sorry it wasn't your cup of tea, but I think I will stick to my five star and four star reviews thanks.

She then posts a few positive reviews on Amazon.com. She seems very demanding to someone who reviews books without taking a salary.

Big Al responded:

In response to the many comments from Ms Howett:

I received the email on 2/7 asking that I download the a new copy of the book, which I did. I verified in my library software (Calibre) that this was the version I had and read. However her note above as well as the email mentioned formatting. At least when I talk about formatting I'm referring to issues of conversion from the source (a Word .doc file or whatever) into an eBook so the text flows correctly on the Kindle and so on. I say no issues I would attribute to formatting.

I have doubts that Ms. Howett being English is the reason for my reaction to her writing although I can't discount it entirely. I can say that in the last year I've read and in many cases reviewed on this blog books by natives of England, Australia, New Zealand, Canada and multiple European countries where English is not the primary language. Some have been full of country specific slang. In none of these cases has this been an issue for me. I do mention these things in the FYI section of my reviews because it is an issue for some people.

I'll also point out that in the first two chapters alone I found in excess of twenty errors that ideally would have been caught in editing and proofing. Some were minor, but all have the potential of disrupting an enjoyable reading experience, depending on the specific reader and their sensitivity to such things.

Here are a couple sample sentences from the first two chapters that gave me pause and are representative of what I found difficult while reading.

"She carried her stocky build carefully back down the stairs."

"Don and Katy watched hypnotically Gino place more coffees out at another table with supreme balance."

I understand what both are probably saying. I do question the sentence construction.

However, I should point out that the review does say the story, which is the most important part of a book, is good. The effort of extracting the story through the errors and, at least to me, sometimes convoluted sounding language, made doing so much too difficult, IMO.

I would encourage anyone who thinks the story sounds interesting to sample the book. Read the first few chapters and decide for yourself.

Seems professional and to the point this Big Al. The author though, couldn't just leave well enough alone:

My writing is just fine!

You did not download the fresh copy.... you did not. No way!

As to annoymous

Al was given the option of a free copy from smashwords the following day to download in any format he preffered.

Look AL, I'm not in the mood for playing snake with you, what I read above has no flaws. My writing is fine. You were told to download a new copy for format problems the very next day while they were free at Smashwords, so you could choose any format you wanted to read it in and if their were any spelling mistakes they were corrected. Simply remove this review as it is in error with you not downloading the fresh copy i insisted. Why review my book after being told to do this, and more annoying why have you never ever responded to any of my e-mails?

And please follow up now from e-mail.
This is not only discusting and unprofessional on your part, but you really don't fool me AL.

Who are you any way? Really who are you?
What do we know about you?

You never downloaded another copy you liar!
You never ever returned to me an e-mail

Besides if you want to throw crap at authors you should first ask their permission if they want it stuck up on the internet via e-mail. That debate is high among authors.

Your the target not me!
Now get this review off here!

Ms Howlett then comments a couple more times with only two words, fuck off. I assume this is to be directed at Big Al and the other commentators who remind her of how unprofessional she's being.

If anyone gave enough attention to material that I attempted to make money off of I would thank them and move on, good review or not, but others think differently. I know writers and I feel being passionate about your work is a positive trait as most do, but you have to have a thick skin when you make your books available to the masses. Actions like this give other writers a bad name, especially those trying to break into the field.

Perhaps this author is mentally unstable, which is quite possible. Artists can be eccentric and not in a good way. If that is the case, then I do feel sorry for her.

Not that I'm a whiz at grammar, but I read a small snippet of her book and I have to agree with Big Al, the mistakes are atrocious. I had to read a few sentences twice just to figure out what exactly the author was saying.

Writing is not for everyone and takes a lot of education and patience. I look at authors with a kind of awe as they are out of my league when it comes to prose and creativity. It's a tough racket for sure in this day when people don't really care to read fiction anymore. One can't help but feel for Ms. Howlett....ok I can't feel for her. The comments on Big Al's blog and Amazon.com are just comedy gold and I suggest taking a read.

"I want this review removed or its just considered abuse." - Jacqueline Howett

Feline shennanigans

Last night I was spending a many an hour into the late evening playing Xbox Live with my friend Corey. Moments of fun were being shared as we booted into Call of Duty: World At War and shot up the Axis powers and Nazi zombies, but as my wife was in slumber I heard a loud crash from downstairs. Unsure as to what had just transpired I put Corey down to travel to the first floor. What I saw in front of me was a broken vase and a disappointed spouse.

Apparently our demon spawn of a cat decided he didn't care much for the vase and made it known by knocking it off the end table and onto the tile floor, shattering it into untold amounts of pieces. It was either that or the cat thought an Italian wedding was taking place, or he's just clumsy as hell. Nah. The cat wants us and our homestead in complete havoc and he carried out part of his plan right as I'm gaming with my friend and my wife's sound asleep.

The other day the wife asked me if I'm truly happy we purchased this cat, even though it makes an awful mess, bites everything and everyone, and is opposed to the idea of us getting any rest. I of course conceded that the cat is cute and I'm happy with our addition. I guess it's a good training for when we have kids.

"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose." - Garrison Keillor

This day in history...

As I browse sites dedicated to history I found the following events took place on this day, March 25th.

• Maryland was founded by English colonists sent by the second Lord Baltimore.
• Britain abolished its slave trade.
• Jacob S. Coxey began leading an "army" of the unemployed from Massillon, Ohio, to Washington, D.C., to demand help from the federal government.
• A fire at the Triangle Shirtwaist Co. factory in New York City killed 146 workers, most of them young immigrant women. The tragedy galvanized America's labor movement.
• The home of vaudeville, the Palace Theatre, opened in New York City.
• The Treaty of Rome established the European Economic Community.
• King Faisal of Saudi Arabia was shot to death by a nephew with a history of mental illness.
• Robert E. Chambers Jr. pleaded guilty to first-degree manslaughter in the death of 18-year-old Jennifer Levin in New York City's so-called "preppie murder case."
• Cosmonaut Sergei Krikalev returned to Earth from the Mir space station after a 10-month stay, during which his native country, the Soviet Union, ceased to exist.
• American troops completed their withdrawal from Somalia.
• An 81-day standoff by the antigovernment Freemen began at a ranch near Jordan, Mont.
• The redesigned $100 bill went into circulation.
• President Bill Clinton acknowledged during his Africa tour that "we did not act quickly enough" to stop the slaughter of 1 million Rwandans four years earlier.
• A powerful earthquake rocked Afghanistan and northwestern Pakistan, killing as many as 1,000 people.

What they fail to mention sadly is that this day in 1975 a child was born to bring forth awesomeness and an appreciation for fine crafted beer. Yes this was indeed an incredible event when the heavens parted and angels tooted on confounded horns announcing the arrival of the greatest thing since to grace humanity in centuries, and that is me.

"I think people should be free to engage in any sexual practices they choose; they should draw the line at goats though." - Elton John, who I share a birthday with oddly enough.

Thursday Music

In all the days of One Bad Apple I have never posted a music video that truly displays how far the craft has progressed as the one listed below. Since the days of when cromagnon man placed a rock in his hand and discovered the pleasant sound of banging it against a hard surface, humanity has struggled to bring about harmonies that are pleasing as well as intriguing to the masses.

With the advent of music video directors brought songs to a new medium to be enjoyed by those who felt the sense of hearing just wasn't enough. Since then artists have been forever one upping each other with stunning visuals that enhance the experience.

But today I'll allow my readers to take in the pinnacle of sound and visuals. The artists known as "Leather Hands" have done the seemingly impossible and every contribution to the music industry in the future will pale in comparison. Yes, it's all downhill from here.

"Actually, I would love to make a music video. Maybe it would finally put to rest those persistent rumours that have followed me throughout my career - particularly when I was on camera performing - that I had died." - Perry Como

The right of vehicles to bear arms.

I don't get Republicans sometimes. Okay make that a lot of the time.

Round these here parts in Texas you'll see on almost every business a sign that explains to you the punishment for unlicensed and/or unregistered firearms that are carried on the premises. I guess there's no harm in stating the law and the company's policy regarding their employees or clients carrying guns.

Recently the Texas Senate passed a bill that restricts businesses from banning guns being left in a person's car while parked in the company's lot. This confuses me. I was always under the assumption that conservatives stood for personal and corporate liberty. Shouldn't someone of Republican values allow a business to form a policy of their own choosing? If Starbucks doesn't want guns in their employee's cars, shouldn't they have the freedom to enforce such a measure? Isn't this a private matter and shouldn't elected officials stay out of it?

Apparently not as the Republican dominated state senate decided government had best step in and protect the second amendment rights of people who wish to have a gun in their car at work. The legal footing of this law is obviously shaky as a private business banning a gun in your car is in no way a violation of the constitution, but I find it amusing, if not frustrating, that business owners, including their employees, can't be allowed the simple freedoms conservatives preach about. As a friend of mine once said, those on the right want small government for themselves and big government for everyone else.

"There's a fear that law-abiding citizens have to pick between their jobs and their Second Amendment rights," - Glenn Hegar

Senate OKs letting Texans keep guns in car at work

Bam Bam Bigelow approves.

By now everyone's seen the Casey Heynes video, but for those unfamiliar the now viral video depicts a chunky kid being punched numerous times by some skinny bully while being encouraged by onlookers. Casey decided he had enough of the pint size attacker and quickly picked up the boy and slammed him to the ground. The scrawny boy stumbled about in a dazed fashion and has now become famous for getting his ass handed to him, something he'll be reminded of forever.

Good.

It's of no surprise that I'm glad this video went viral. It does teach an important lesson to all kids being picked on that bullies, for the most part, can't fight. If kids would stand up for themselves bullying would decrease by a huge margin. Granted I'm not naive. Some kids will face taunts in all kinds of manners, physical and otherwise.

Although I'm not a parent yet, I wonder sometimes how I'll handle my kid being bullied, but I never really gave much thought as to what I would do if my child was the one doing the taunting. After seeing this video it's safe to say if I find them involved in such activity I will march them to the victim's house and make them apologize, take everything even remotely interesting to them and put it in the attic, and have them spend their weekends volunteering at rest homes as they feed old people who smell like feet wrapped in bacon.

After seeing an interview with Casey it seems like he's a level headed kid who's humble about his internet fame. Bravo to you Casey!

"Look for the good days, keep your chin up and school ain’t going to last forever.” - Casey Heynes

Emotional Interview With ‘The Boy Who Stood Up To A Bully’ Casey Heynes

We're all stars.

At dinner Kelly stated she had a confession. My brother in-law and his wife sat in silence. She asked me to remove my sunglasses, which I thought to be strange as the sun was shining down on the patio. I was prepared to hear anything at that moment. Given the consumption of wine I deduced correctly that she wasn't pregnant, or did indeed have a bun in the oven and was proclaiming herself to be an alcoholic.

Was this an intervention of sorts? And for what exactly? I don't have any strange addictions other than lifting my shirt and placing my hairy nipples on random cars stuck in traffic.

Finally the wife confessed that we wouldn't be attending a St Patrick's Day party after dinner. The four of us would take part in my birthday present, a hockey game. Having everything a man could want my choice in gifts were simple this year. I wanted an outing that included the infamous sport. I was excited and in no way had any idea that this would come to frutition, at least not so soon.

Yeah, my wife is super cool.

We walked to American Airlines' stadium and as we strolled Kristy was pelted with what she initially thought was debris caused by wind. Such was not the case as she turned to us and we noticed that a bird decided to defecate in her eye. This did not please her. The wife scrambled to look for something that would wipe the poop from her face, but you don't want to know what she used.

Moments later Kelly and Russ were both the victims of other birds with poor toilet training. This did not please them either, but hilarity did ensue. Amazingly enough I was safe from the torment of the winged creatures. I may have Irish blood after all.

The game started off interesting as all in attendance stood for the rendition of our national anthem. This is not unusual in and of itself, but what struck me as odd is when the singer got to the lyrics mentioning stars the stadium erupted in a scream of "STARS". Also fascinating are the Ice Girls who take time to sweep up the ice in front of the goal during TV time outs and the like. Of course they are scantily clad while doing so, which is amazing considering it must be freezing down on the ice. Unlike the northwest, Texas has so many businesses with women showing their midriffs, if not more, that I believe there may be a law that requires at least one establishment in a four block radius to employ girls who don't eat and prance about in near naked attire.

The game was indeed a good one complete with fights and Dallas shutting out Chicago 5-0. There was more beer to be consumed and drink I did. The effects have reigned heavily upon me today, which is a good sign I'm getting older, but no more wiser.

"A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death." - Robert Benchley

Thursday Music

Tis the day of St Patrick's feast and I'm sporting my green like a champion, even though I probably have no Irish blood. As a fine American I shall drink dark beer that number more than is safe or reasonable, but I shan't engage in activity normally reserved for 20 somethings. I'm 35 and married. It's about time I act my age.

My grandfather was born this day; however, he was Italian. Yes my Grandpa Mario was none too pleased he shared his birthday with an Irish holiday, but he took it in good sport most of the time. He never felt hostile towards his immigrant brethren, unless his boxing opponent happened to hail from the Emerald Isle.

So this day I shall bring you some modern Irish music from one of my favorite films. The staff at One Bad Apple wishes all a safe and happy St Patrick's Day!

"We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English." - Winston Churchill

Conversations with the wife.

For reasons I can't explain the design of our house had to have a chunk of wasted space above our front door. Only accessible by a tall ladder, there's a large nook complete with window that's of no use other than decorative. It wouldn't baffle me that much if I couldn't fit my car in it.

My wife decided to decorate it as she's want to do. I like what she did with it, but today I had a few ideas bounce around in my head that might make it better. I shared one with her via IM:

Wiwille: you know that wasted space above the front door?
Wife: yea, i like it the way it is but why
Wiwille: could we turn that into a scale replica of the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon?
Wife: sure honey :)

Being a newlywed I'm starting to learn what "sure honey" really stands for, and no it doesn't mean go ahead and swing by the Home Depot and spend a few hundred dollars on a vanity project in a vain attempt to fulfill my desire to never mature. In the interest of self preservation and a happy marriage I shall not even attempt this.

But damn wouldn't it be cool?

"Acting in 'Star Wars' I felt like a raisin in a giant fruit salad, and I didn't even know who the cantaloupes were." - Mark Hamill

Commie radio

I hardly leap to the defense of any media outlet as I don't feel I should have to. Everything I enjoy is cool, if not only for the fact that someone as awesome as me consumes it.

A lot of people I've come across scream a liberal bias from NPR. I'm hard pressed to figure out why exactly. I listen to Morning Edition on my commute each day and can't find a single story, or sentence for that matter, that could in any way be construed as having a bias, liberal or conservative. Sure NPR doesn't resemble Fox, CNN, or MSNBC and thank god for that. I guess conservatives are angry at the publicly and privately funded radio network for not reporting sensationalized news such as judges who won't let the Ten Commandments be posted on every Federal Building and how abortion providers dab the blood of children in their morning Tang.

Sure NPR can be dry and Morning Edition does report news conservatives don't care about, such as real issues happening on the ground in expensive wars, global trade policy, and genocide in places Americans can't find on a map. Call it dull, call it uninteresting, but don't call it liberal because you're a simpleton idiot who only cares about hearing stories that profile minorities involved in street crime.

NPR has been acting like a bunch of candy asses regarding the firing of an executive calling Tea Partiers racist in what was supposed to be a private conversation, which would be a harsh statement if they didn't hate brown people. I sometimes wish the network would take a firmer stance on this and many others, but I appreciate what they do.

"I have been an unabashed fan of NPR for many years, and have stolen untold excellent ideas from its programming." - Ted Koppel

Parenthood

I was reading an article that basically illustrates that idea that parents lie about the benefits of raising their crotch fruit. In it they explain how couples are happier without kids and have a better financial future. In short, parents are lying whores according to the study referenced.

On Saturday my wife and her friend wanted to take in some shopping, so I agreed to watch her friend's seven year old while they browsed the aisles of various stores. We went to some playgrounds in the area until she found one that she really enjoyed and was fitting to her age. She rated the equipment based on the difficulty of navigating it. If it was too simple it was not her cup of tea. If it was too hard she became disgusted with herself for not being tall or agile enough.

As she ran around the bark dust and made friends I sat and couldn't help but oversee the actual parents lounging about. They kept a close eye on their young ones making sure they were well entertained and that they didn't break social norms such as exposing themselves as they relieved their bladders. The parents all looked happy as their children were joyously reveling in their play time.

I kind of envy them. Seriously I do.

I know it's trendy to mock breeders and show disdain for their choice in making the worst financial investment of all time. Parenting can't be easy as adults are often tired and lose more brain cells than your average meth addict while attempting to keep up with their wee ones. Still it's not fair to show anger towards someone for allowing the human race to exist for at least one more generation. If you don't want kids I'm cool with that as well. Schools and prisons are over crowded enough.

Perhaps if I do have kids one day and see them throw our pets out the second story window with a makeshift parachute made from a bed sheet tied to them I may just have to keep a smiley face so I don't go insane. With all the marketing you see about how parenthood is the greatest talent and most important role any one can ever play, you would think it's all fun and fancy free evenings of walking hand in hand down a beach that swept in a glowing sunset. We all know that's crap and some studies would suggest that no matter what we do as parents we'll have little effect on the success of our children, but still watching those parents have their bright smiles, fake or no, seems to make it worth it.

I'll keep this post bookmarked in case I do have kids and re-read this when they decide the best way to cool down the Xbox 360 is with a jug of water.

"There are times when parenthood seems nothing more than feeding the hand that bites you." - Peter De Vries

Kid Crazy: Why We Exaggerate the Joys of Parenthood

A moment...

The tragedy befallen to Japan this morning is a terrible one indeed. I was listening to NPR, or as my Texas pals call it 'Commie Radio', and they were detailing the devestation brought by the 8.9 earthquake and the resulting after shocks. Many have perished and the whole country has come to a standstill.

Mother nature does remind us how small man really is. As much as we'd like to think otherwise we are in no way master of our own destiny. Nature is savage and attacks with little mercy. For what they're worth I send thoughts and prayers to everyone who has fell victim to this natural disaster. Your friends in the states, and from what I'm sure the rest of the world, are with you in your time of healing.

"Did you know that the word "tsunami," which is now being used worldwide, is a Japanese word? This is indicative of the extent to which Japan has been subject to frequent tsunami disasters in the past." - Junichiro Koizumi

Thursday Music

My father never had much diversity in his musical tastes. When riding in his car he would play the same music over and over again. He would never let my sister or I play DJ as we loved the 'devil's music'. Instead our traveling soundtrack would consist of Roy Orbison, Roger Whittaker, and the Kingston Trio.

I was so sick of hearing them all the time and I would annoy my father by making up my own lyrics to the songs, usually at his expense. Mom and my sister would laugh under their breath as Dad would proclaim my juvenile tastes to be just that. Still I enjoyed mocking the works of his favorite artists, which would cause him to rupture a blood vessel.

I think in all my time listening to music with Dad we heard the Kingston Trio more than any other. Hearing them as an adult I'm kind of surprised how dark some of the songs are and why the patriarch of my family deemed it as wholesome.

So today I bring you The Kingston Trio's "Tom Dooley":

"The 1960s were big for folk music, and the Kingston Trio led the way. They were the ones who started it all. The music was fresh and alive. College kids loved it and their parents did, too." - George Grove

Texan swine

I've written about Rep Leo Berman, State Representative for the Republic of Texas, before about his attempt to introduce a birther bill before the state legislature. He's obviously an intellectual simpleton with little knowledge of the Constitution, history, or even an eighth grader's grasp of simple civics.

After the birther nonsense died a quick death he decided his brand of crazy still needed representation and he's fullfilled his delusions recently with sponsoring a bill that would outline the voter's thoughts on secession. Oddly, the bill is non-binding and does nothing more than than to be a whine fest to be presented to the US Capitol. Even though the proposed bill reads like a stammering child crying about how the parents run the house, it tries to make the point that Berman and his ilk are tired of what they see as runaway spending. Oh and they don't like the White House being housed by minorities.

Okay they said nothing about the President's race.

Texas has a huge budget crisis due in part to members of Berman's party, including the thrice elected jackass Perry, handling state funds as if they were teenage girls at a mall with their parents' credit card. We are seeing huge deficits, cuts in education, massive layoffs, and Berman wants to waste tax payer money with this horse shit.

Texas has a big ego, there's no question. Because of it's inflated sense of worth the rest of the country, often unfairly, sees the Republic as the bastard uncle who boasts about accomplishments they had nothing to do with. Yes the place I've come to love and call home is the laughing stock of the United States and Berman doesn't help.

I'll go ahead and say that Texas is a great place to be and I've met some of the nicest people here. Berman and those fucktards fighting for this waste of resources are the minority of this huge state. The people of Tyler should be given a choice, throw out this numbskull or make your own state. Yes you can do that under the Texas constitution. Good luck trying to pay for basic services on your own you treasoness asshats. I know you hate having a black man in office who's far more competent than the previous President, but let it go. The people spoke and just because you don't like it doesn't mean you get to take your ball and go home. I know when you say you want your country back you really mean you want a white person in charge again. We get it. You hate America, democracy, and anything that may challenge your belief that Jesus rode dinosaurs into Jerusalem. What did you tell people who were disgusted with Bush being in office? Oh yeah they should pack up and leave. Hmm...

"We in the Texas Nationalist Movement believe that independence is necessary for the economic and cultural survival of the people of Texas. Even so, there is nothing more any of us would like to see than the United States government steer away from its current path of self-implosion and return to the original intent and purpose of government as defined by the U.S. Constitution." - Daniel Miller, Texas Nationalist Movement

Overrated films part 29

It was strongly recommended to me by various friends and family to see Religulous. After being hounded for my opinion on it I finally took a friend to see it. Later I reported my opinion to those who cared and some were genuinely surprised by my enjoyment, or lack thereof, of Maher's film.

'Religulous' is a documentary, or it could be better called a vanity project, for Bill Maher, the outspoken host of HBO's Real Time. In it Maher travels the US and abroad interviewing and often times ridiculing his subjects who all have one thing in common, they're devout in their religious faith.

It's clear from the start that Maher is an agnostic who feels everyone else should be. That's not a criticism nor would I call him arrogant for his world view, but one is left to wonder just how much depth he's given to educating himself concerning the world's big three faiths. He often asks questions that only a child at Sunday school would. When speaking to a priest at Vatican City about his confusion regarding the Holy Trinity the man of the cloth responds with the age old answer of how water also exists in three forms. In a surprising admittance regarding his sophomoric view on the Bible, Bill had no answer to that. Seriously he couldn't think of a response, witty or otherwise, to one of the oldest and lamest explanations regarding one of the most complicated mystery of Christianity.

Maher often ridicules his subjects with devious glee, which would be entertaining if most of the participants in the film were anything other than emotionally inept. I couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for some of the folks he interviewed. As the friend who watched it with me commented, it was like watching someone poke fun at the mentally disabled. The majority of folks he spoke with gave the audience the impression that they were just not prepared to engage in a debate with the likes of Maher. Unsurprising to most, gotcha journalism doesn't exactly give people the chance to have a rational, well educated discussion. He catches his guests, makes laughs at their expense, and repeats the same formula for the entirety of the documentary.

A lot of my friends really enjoyed this movie, as well as many critics. Most of them had the same religious views as Maher and if they spoke honestly they'd probably admit the only reason they liked this film is because they finally felt they had a guy in their corner battling the forces of the unreasonable. The religious and the non share a common cross if you will. Both feel persecuted for their faith or lack thereof. If I were to outline why it would make for the longest blog post in the history of One Bad Apple.

Most of the interviews are hardly enlightening nor even that interesting and, sadly, weren't funny. For someone as smart and entertaining as Maher is this movie showcases few of his talents. A lot of it is information you are already well aware of, but if you feel the need to be preached at by an agnostic who holds disdain for anyone who doesn't think like him then this is the film for you.

Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see it soon on One Bad Apple. Rules are posted here.

"Being snarky and smug doesn't equate to providing insight, and there's more than one occasion when the filmmakers lose sight of this in their zeal to spread the Gospel According to Maher." - James Berardinelli

Conversations with Corey

Corey: William Shatner will be in Seattle on Saturday at a comicon. I can get my picture taken with him for $75! I need to find a way to make this happen!

Wiwille: I'm sure it can happen quite easily
Show up Bring $75

Corey: I have to work...

Wiwille: oh well this may prove problematic

Corey: Indeed...and calling out sick will not be an option as I have spoken quite loudly about him being here and how it sucks I have to work. This does not please me.

Wiwille: Do you have an evil twin who can come in to work for you?

Corey: Man...I wish I did. That would be so handy!

Wiwille: Could you switch with someone?

Corey: That is what I'm trying to work now...I will keep you posted.

Wiwille: good luck!

Corey: Thank you kind sir! I got someone to cover...I gonna meet the shat! I'm so excited I can hardly stand it.

Wiwille: That is kinda awesome that you're doing this I mean really he's the shat and there are few men cooler than he

Corey: right...and really...we are running out of time with this guy. Sure we didn't get to play paintball with him...but getting his autograph and pic with me is gonna be awesome. I wonder if he will be open to signing as Denny Crane! Wish you were here to go with me dude...that would be sweet.

Wiwille: I would make him write 'KAAAAAHHHHNNNNN'
you must send me a copy of said pic

Corey: Oh I will my friend...I will. I wonder if it will work to pick up women....never know until I try. "Hey...how you doing...this is me and Shatner...yeah...we are buds."

Wiwille: if a woman turns you down, then she's a lesbian
besides, you don't want to sleep with a woman who doesn't appreciate how awesome shatner is

Corey: Valid point my friend...valid point!

Wiwille: the wife asks that you ask Shatner to stop doing the Priceline commercials

Corey: Ha...I will, but only after the picture is taken and he signs the pic. Then I will bring it up. Maybe he will kick me in the balls. That would rule.!

Wiwille: I would pay good money to have him attack me
granted, I may draw the line at sexual assault
so my post on FB today is as follows: So my best friend is going to some comic book convention to get a pic and autograph from the William Shatner. Yes I said 'the William Shatner.' Yes I am jealous of this fact.

Corey: Awesome!

Wiwille: it seems a lot of people are jealous of your adventure

Corey: It's the Shat! They should be. I'm going to dress in a suit and tie...and ask him to sign it as "Denny Crane loves you" and then William Shatner. I hope he is open to such things. He may tell me to F*#$ off.... which would also rule.

Wiwille: I don't think he can do anything and not make it awesome
the guy could workout to Sweatin to the Oldies and I'd still think he's cool

Corey: indeed!

Corey did get to meet his hero, or make that our hero, the William Shatner. His journey took him to the Emerald City Comic-Con, a gathering of sorts for all things geekery. During his visit he would text me random thoughts and pics at the event, including the scantily clad females dressed as various fictional characters. Like Halloween, these conventions seem to bring out a woman's inner whore, especially when you consider that it's all kinds of cold in Seattle in early March.

Finally he approached the William Shatner. (Yes from now on I shall refer to him as 'the'.) Here's the text message:

Corey: ....he was cool though. When I walked up for my pic I put my hand on his back...and he was like "did they tell you not to touch me"...and I said "sorry"...and he smiled and said "it's cool". Nice guy...looks the 80 years old that he is though. Glad I did it now.It's enough to bring a tear to one's eye.

"But if you want to know the truth, the weirdest thing that has happened has been my discovery that people who attend the conventions are filled with love." - William Shatner

Decency

I've been asked as to my opinion on the Supreme Courts ruling in favor of the Westboro Baptist Church being able to picket in the general vicinity of funerals. I've written about the WBC before and as it should come to no surprise I approve of the court's decision.

Yes it pains me to say anything in defense of the attention whores that are the WBC. I find everything they say and do despicable, but as our 1st Amendment allots, they have the right to be jerks. It's there to protect unpopular speech, as anything else doesn't need an amendment securing that.

It pains me to be a good citizen and feel that people have the right to stand on the sidewalk and insult and degrade someone's time of mourning, but at the same time I wish I could legally make a brick meet Fred Phelps temple.

I do have endless sympathy for the family of Snyder who were the victims of WBC's assholishness. One day the media will simply start ignoring the church and they'll die off and go away. I look forward to that day.

"To me, what they did was just as bad, if not worse, than if they had taken a gun and shot me. At least the wound would have healed." - Albert Snyder.

Why the Supreme Court Ruled for Westboro

Our sport

I know watching celebrities self destruct is America's favorite past time, but I don't get all the interest in Charlie Sheen. I've largely ignored the news stories, Facebook posts, and blogs regarding the drug addled actor, largely because I think it's sad. He's clearly mentally ill, which is hardly a laughing matter especially considering the fact that he has children.

He may be a douche. He may be a lot of things. One thing I don't get is the fact that everyone is just now coming to the realization that the man may not be all there. This is the same guy who narrated "Loose Change", the juvenile documentary that suggests that 9/11 was orchestrated by the US government. He also associates himself with Alex Jones and other 'Truthers'. His antics have been known for many years, but now that he's fully a danger to himself and possibly his children he's the subject of ridicule?

I'm just sad we'll never see Hot Shots Part 3.

"Slash sat me down at his house and said, You've got to clean up your act. You know you've gone too far when Slash is saying, Look, you've got to get into rehab." - Charlie Sheen