Oct 13, 2006

No nudity in Fantastic Four part 2?

I'm sad to report that Jessica Alba claims she will never pose nude in a film. I'm dishearten by this as I've always believed her nudity could solve world hunger. I believe that there's nothing Jessica Alba's body can't do such as provide a good home for all disenfranchised orphans, finding a cure for the common cold, and end the career of Wolfmother. Yes it's not really that I want to see her naked for my own perverted reasons, but for the sake of humanity.

Well I guess it's not so bad. Jessica's refusal to get naked on celluloid isn't the worst thing that's happened to cinema. Kicking and screaming I will accept this.

Actually I think I have a great plan. I will get naked on screen as much as humanly possible and the only way I'll stop is if she renegs her plans to never disrobe. Yep my cunning plan is to star in every film that comes out and in the third act I will drop trou and twirl my manhood around like a tassel. Yes it's blackmail and I'm not above that. Now if only I were an actor with any shot at Hollywood stardom this just might work.

For those of you grossed out by the thought of me showing my ass on film just bear with me, cause after all I'm doing it for the good the world community.

"I don't do nudity. I just don't. Maybe that makes me a bad actress. Maybe I won't get hired in some things. But I have too much anxiety." - Jessica Alba

Jessica Alba: I'll never strip

1 comment:

Mattbear said...

Dammit. Oh well. At least I can still watch the lasso dance from Sin City over and over and over. In fact, the amount I would enjoy seeing her nude on screen would not be much more than how happy I am watching her dance in those chaps.