I was attending a party years ago and we migrated to a strip club. After sitting for a while a lady skilled in the fine art of dance decided to use my lap as her own personal break room. She sat and asked if she could rest there for a while and engaged in conversation. She asked me what my sign was and I replied I am an Aries.
The 'artist' then made all sorts of observations about my personality based upon the Zodiac calendar. I asked her why she believed that celestial bodies millions of miles away had any effect on my personality or a couple's compatibility she answered that women often use astrology to try and make some sort of sense of men. The masculine sex was too confusing to her and her friends so astrological signs were a great resource to her.
She then declared me the sexiest guy in the club, to which the rest of the employees agreed, and I got lap dances for free the whole evening. Actually all the girls paid me. Yeah. That's it. They then fed me peanut butter cup ice cream and got into a huge fight over which one would get to sit in my lap next.
Okay so I took some creative liberties with the last part.
Scientists have now discovered what any reasonably intelligent person already knows and that giant balls of gas that exist in the stratosphere have no bearing on human relationships. I'm really curious as to why someone thought this research was necessary as it likely will not have any effect on the astrological community's sales. I mean what's next? Research shows drinking can lead to being drunk, the world is indeed round, and that Salma Hayek should marry me? These things should be obvious.
“Superstition is to religion what astrology is to astronomy: the mad daughter of a wise mother” - Voltaire
Love isn't in the stars say scientists