Today may be a good day.

I fell asleep watching South Park last night. When my alarm went off this morning I awoke to a Girl's Gone Wild infomercial. Not a bad way to start the day with a little blurred out nudity and girls making out, but I was quickly bored with it. I've seen these advertisements before and wasn't buying into Joe Francis' promise of this video to be the wildest Girls Gone Wild yet. I mean seriously how much further can you push the envelope when all you show are girls flashing their boobs and tonguing each other?

Before I clicked off the remote Joe announced that he had some cast members from MTV's reality series Road Rules and Real World. I only recognized one, Tanya from the Chicago season. Not that I believe reality TV stars have all that much dignity, but still I was kind of surprised that they were on the commercial. Okay I wasn't that shocked. Joe told the audience that he had challenges for the cast which included them going to parties and trying to get girls to do "the wildest thing ever."

At this point what is the wildest thing ever? Will the girls shoot fireworks out of their ass? Will they bust into the Supreme Court building and flash the judges? Curious I became.

Well the ad went on and it showed everything you've seen before, which again isn't necessarily a bad thing. I mean I'm all for hot girls removing their tops and showing us the gift that keeps on giving, especially when it's set to Carribean percussions, but I'm surprised this series still makes money.

I know this next sentence may surprise you so I hope you're sitting down. I've never owned a Girls Gone Wild video. I swear I haven't. Even though I'm a breast man I've never had the desire to buy something that involved drunken girls doing things that send their fathers into an early grave. Then again I'm kind of a hypocrite considering I have a stack of Playboys, but the articles intrigue me. Seriously they have some good writing in them.

Sadly I saw no evidence of the Real World girl showing her goodies. I guess the king of date rape couldn't convince her to get naked to boost her career. Surprising since I guess she's been in Playboy and late night Cinemax films. I guess I would have to buy it to find out, but that's not going to happen. I clicked off the television and headed to the shower. Today is going to be a good day.

"Paris Hilton is the best … Paris is amazing in bed … better than anyone.” - Joe Francis

Tonya Cooley